Chasing The Impossible
by AnnabethReads
Summary: Clarke and Lexa were the moms to six beautifully healthy children, all who have grown to show their own spirits. They were a strong family with courageous souls, all aiming for greatness, and all chasing what could be considered impossible, for in the Woods household, impossible was a myth, and reality was a gleaming light against the shocking brightness of dreams.
1. Chapter 1 - Chasing The Impossible

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 1  
Chasing The Impossible**

Officer Woods arrived home Monday evening to a busy house filled with laughter, chaos, and babbling. The family golden retriever greeted the woman, wagging his shaggy tail, his pink tongue falling out of his mouth in a slobbery mess.

"Hi, Zorro. How you doing pup?" She asks the crazy beast who jumps up to lick her cheeks. "Okay, okay. Glad to hear." She pushed him back down and proceeded up the stairs to the kitchen and living area.

The house of course was a mess of people and things, looking completely different from how Lexa and Clarke left it that morning.

"Mama!" A small voice squeaked from the shuffling of movement in the kitchen. Soon enough four-year-old Finlay was running into his mama full force in one of his welcome home bear hugs.

"Hi, baby! How are you?" She asked the small boy, lifting him onto her hip and walking into the kitchen entirely, smiling at Clarke who tended to the final parts of dinner.

"Mama, I read a book to mommy with no mistakes!" He said proudly, his toothy grin coming through as dimples appeared on both cheeks.

"Good job, little man. Soon enough you'll be writing all the children's books in the world." This earned a giggle from the small blonde before he proceeded to wiggle free and run over to his sisters.

Lexa took the opportunity of having no children jump her to circle her arms around Clarke's hips, kissing the woman's neck and nuzzling into the blonde hair that she fell in love with years ago.

"Hi, baby." She said, her voice indicating the hard day at work she has had. Clarke knew that the woman's work was rather draining sometimes, especially when some of the cases she deals with involve little ones.

"Hi, Lex. I missed you today." The blonde said, earning a smile as she leant back slightly and turned her head to the kiss the slightly tanned skin of her wife.

"I missed you too. Were the kids good?"

"Yeah, I got home from my shift about two hours ago. The twins were holding down the fort as usual, and everyone was doing homework while Indie hung out in her play pen." Clarke turned off the burner that was heating the mashed potatoes, finally turning fully around to face Lexa.

"Oh yes, how is the little rascal?"

"Go check yourself." Clarke nodded to the high chair where two-year-old Indie was gladly babbling to herself while she shoved peas into her mouth and the table top of her chair.

"Hi, silly billy!" Lexa said excitedly, making the youngest of her children squeal in delight. This in turn made the brunette laugh as her daughter bounced in her seat. "Look at that gorgeous cut you got there." There was a reason they nicknamed Indie, Rascal. She was always getting into or doing things she wasn't supposed to, often bringing injury upon herself. Three days ago she took a nasty fall after attempting to climb out of her crib in the middle of the night. The whole house was awoken by her cries and both parents made the un-expected trip to the ER where the little girl received five stitches along her temple, and a heavy dose of painkillers that had knocked her out for the whole weekend. Today she was the most responsive, which was great for everyone to see.

"Peas – Ama!" She hadn't quite grasped the idea of Lexa's name having an M in front of Ama. Some days she could pass for saying Llama, which led to some strange looks in public.

"Lucky girl." The brunette said, taking one and tossing it in the air. She caught it in her mouth making the small thing in the chair squeal again. She then proceeded to throw peas around, pretending to catch them liking her "Ama".

Clarke sighed past a laugh at the table, "A new trick, Lex? Thank heaven's for Zorro." As suggested, Zorro was scrambling to eat the fallen peas, taking great pride in his "vacuum" like skills.

"How was work, mama?" Rowen asked as she took Finlay's cup and her's to get some water from the tap.

"It was good, Munchkin. How was school?"

"Good. I don't know why everyone hates Mondays. I love them." The little girl said.

"Because you are our weirdest kid, Miss Rowen." Clarke said, kissing the eight-year-old blonde's head as she passed, placing the food on the table for everyone to eat.

"Mama's going to kill you." Sophie said from her place in the kitchen where she and her twin brother sat.

"Who am I going to kill?" Lexa inquired, looking to the sixteen year olds. Jude glanced up and revealed the blue and purple cheekbone that covered his tanned face.

"Really, Jude?" She asked in dismay, stopping Clarke from rising with the cups and going instead, knowing very well the blonde has been on her feet all day.

"Boxing can be aggressive. I didn't think this could happen."

"Because only a dumb-nut like you could let it happen." Sophie remarked, earning a glare from both of her mothers.

"Be nice." Lexa warned. "How did this happen?" She asked Jude, taking the cup of her last kid who hasn't spoken once since she arrived, and the sippy cup of Indie.

"I was doing some speed punches, and I guess my face got in the way." Sophie laughed at that, and Clarke couldn't help herself. She snickered as well.

"I honestly can say I'm not surprised." Lexa said, finally getting laughs from the table as Jude shook his head in dismay.

"Hi, Will." Lexa finally greeted as the table settled into their own conversations. The introvert twelve year old grinned from across the table, prodding at her mashed potatoes.

"Hi, Mama." She said back, a smiling reaching her lips but not her eyes.

"How was school?"

"It was okay." The girl replied, Lexa glancing at Clarke who gave her the look that said they would speak later in the privacy of their room.

"Ama ahhh!" Indie squealed from her seat, taking both mothers attention away from their quietest child.

"I see you, rascal. What are you doing, chunky monkey?" Lexa pinched the puggy toes of the two year old who giggled.

"Peas! Peas! Peas!" She said proudly, bouncing with each word.

"Mom, I need a poster board from a project." Jude said from the opposite side of the table, gaining Clarke's attention.

The whole house existed with a vocal rumble, making the noise constant, and the lighthearted behavior permanent. The children spoke from all ends, sharing opinions, smiles, laughter, and jokes. Chunks of bread were tossed between siblings making the mothers call a time out on the food tossing before it turned into a full scale food fight, which had happened on many occasions.

Tonight's dinner was like many of their dinners, however it made both Clarke and Lexa realize with each passing minute just why they wanted such a large family. Each smile, each giggle made life perfect, and that's all they could have ever asked for.

~.~.~

"Come on Stinky One and Stinky Two. Bath time!" Clarke said as Lexa got to work on the dishes with the twins. Willow and Rowen went to their room to entertain themselves before bedtime.

The doctor got to work in the bathroom, undressing the two and four year old while preparing the water temperature. She pulled down the showerhead and had the two sit on the tub floor while she rinsed them and began to wash their blonde hair and pale skin that matched hers.

She smiles while she does the messy work of cleaning the little ones, shampoo suds landing on the walls and her as the kids become sillier with their after dinner energy. All their kids acted the same at bath time. None were indifferent because the whole family loved water and grew up finding bath time as the best time. Of course they grew out of requiring help and soon Finlay would want to shower like the big kids leaving Clarke and Lexa with their last little one.

All their kids grew up too quick for their liking, probably linking them to the reason why the had so many in the end.

Sixteen years ago Lexa carried their first child. Or so they thought. The prospect of twins was overwhelming for the couple, especially when they arrived three months earlier than planned, and Sophie came as a surprise. Jude was the baby they saw on the sonogram, and after he arrived Sophie made her grand appearance, making both moms nearly lose their shit on the spot.

Non-the less, they adored the tiny infants, and everything that they were.

Jude Hunter Woods was a loud, rambunctious baby with chubby legs and light brown hair and gentle blue eyes. His sister, Sophie Lena Woods, was gentle and quite, with darker hair than her twin and blue eye to match his. Neither of the two had Lexa's curls, but they both had her head strong behavior and were only pleased when they got what they wanted.

They chose to have their third child before the twins began school, the four year olds seeming well behaved at that point to listen and help instead of cause and trouble with a new baby around. Once again Lexa carried the baby, an anonymous donor being their route again since they were more than happy being the only parents of their kids.

At 8 and half months, their third baby arrived, not making a peep and only crying when the doctors forced it out of her. She was small in all aspects, unlike her old siblings who were small but lanky at birth. Her hair colour fell between Jude's shade and Sophie's. And her eyes were a deep blue.

Willow Marley Woods grew to be the quietest of the bunch, not saying much but proving to be the one who loved to cuddle the most. If either Lexa or Clarke wanted to hold a kid for a little while they could turn to Willow, because she always seemed to need it and want it more than any other kid.

Another four years after their third kid and Clarke decided she wanted to experience the whole carrying and nurturing during the nine-month period. She completely shifted desires when the baby kicked her like it was playing soccer, and moved endlessly through the night. Lexa had named the baby swimmer because she moved way more than any of their other kids.

At exactly nine months, Rowen Ella Woods came in with a bang, wanting to come a tad too quickly and nearly being born in the car and not the hospital room. Poor Clarke never got help for the pain but she managed and Lexa was never prouder of her girl until that moment.

The blonde hair, green eyed girl was obsessed with water, swimming in the bathtub and jumping into swimming pools before she could even say the word "water" properly. Half of her childhood she was pruned from swimming so much and at eight she aims for winning some of the greatest competitions she could achieve.

With the last memory of pain she experienced after Rowen, Clarke wasn't sure why she agreed to hold their fifth child, but four years later their they were expecting their next kid.

Once again, the baby arrived on time, proving to be the largest at birth with his seven and a half pounds of pure chubbiness.

Finlay Benjamin Woods had curled tufts of blonde hair and bright hazel eyes that both mothers described as yellow in the sun. He was goofy and adored story telling, wanting to read everything he could from picture books as an itty bitty toddler, to short pictured stories at four.

Two years after Finlay, Lexa knew something was missing in their family and convinced Clarke to try for one more. However Lexa came up as infertile, breaking their hearts. Clarke saw how broken her wife was, despite having five kids already she knew the woman only wanted a large family to fill the emptiness she felt as a little girl. Clarke gave her wife the gift of carrying their very last little one, Lexa not even comprehending how much love she had for her wife, especially since she knew Clarke had some of the worse morning sickness, and overall discomfort during her pregnancies.

Clarke took the carrying of baby number six as a champ, giving birth to a little girl at seven months. The little baby had blonde curls and light grey eyes, her firework personality being present a solid week after she arrived.

Indie Storm Woods (Jude begging to pick the middle name because he loved her eyes and thought they matched) was fearless and was the quickest of the six to learn how to walk, babble, and somersault.

Clarke and Lexa took pride over their family. They were the moms to six beautifully healthy children, all who have grown to show their own spirits and unique personalities. They were a strong family with courageous souls, all aiming for greatness, and all chasing what could be considered impossible to the others outside their family name. For in the Woods household, impossible was a myth, and reality was a gleaming light against the shocking brightness of dreams.

* * *

 **Hello 100 fans! I can't wait for you to get to meet the Woods family and follow them on their journey through life. In case the ages and names get confusing I have listed them below.**

 **If you aren't into the idea of Lexa and Clarke's characters outside of the 100 world then I am very sorry and I hope to write one based in the actual location of the TV show, but for now I hope you enjoy this modernized Clexa fic.**

 **Jude Hunter Woods - 16 years old  
Sophie Lena Woods - 16 years old  
Willow Marley Woods - 12 years old  
Rowen Ella Woods - 8 years old  
Finlay Benjamin Woods - 4 years old  
Indie Storm Woods - 2 years old  
Zorro Woods ( THE DOG ) - 3 years old  
Lexa Woods - 40 years old  
Clarke Griffin-Woods - 40 years old**


	2. Chapter 2 - Hectic Hum

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 2  
Hectic Hum**

"Naked baby! Naked baby!" Lexa had chased the nude two year old down the hall, ignoring the snickering from the rooms of her kids.

"Ama! Ahhh!" Indie squealed, turning at the room she shares with Finlay. The little boy's bed had his teddy bed spread prepared for him to crawl under. Indie took that as an opportunity to slip under the comforter, screeching when Lexa got closer.

"Goodness gracious, goofball. That isn't even your bed." The brunette said, laughing as she pulled back the covers and scooped up the wet haired animal she called her daughter. "That's your bed." She pointed to the crib on the other side, laughing when Indie clapped her hands excitedly. "But first, pajamas."

"Jamas." Indie said back, once again only saying half the word.

"Did you catch her?" Clarke asked from the other end of the hallway where she was dressing Finlay who stood on the bed and used his mom for support so she could get his pants on.

"Yes, one wild monkey as requested." The cop teased blowing a raspberry on Indie's tummy when she placed her on the bed. The little girl laughed so hard the sound echoed through the house, making more laughter come from down the hall again.

"Me, mama!" Finlay said, still shirtless as he pointed to his belly. Lexa blew a raspberry on the boy making his laugh and fall back, holding his tummy from all the giggles.

"Anyone else want a raspberry kiss?!" Lexa asked, gaining giggles and "no's" from the older kids. "Darn, I guess these two chunky monkeys get more then." Lexa blew more raspberries on the two little ones until Clarke tossed her Indie's pajamas and took a brush to the little boy's messy curls. "Say 'arm'." Lexa said, trying to get the little girl to say the body parts as she got a shirt onto the small toddler.

"mmmm." Indie replied, not evening opening her lips to say the word.

"No, not mmm. ARmmm." Lexa said, enunciating the A-R to show the little girl.

"MMMMM." Indie replied with greater persistency, making Clarke laugh.

"Oh boy Ind, you've got to start remembering the beginning of words." The blonde laughed, allowing Lexa to take the brush in order to tame the wet curls of their other kid.

"MMMM." Was all she got back, earning more laughs.

"Silly bean. Should we put a bandage on her forehead?" Lexa asked her wife, looking at the stitches that held together the parts of skin that hit the dressed knobs on the way down. The toddler was bruised along her hairline but the stitches were a greater concern.

"Yeah, I'll get it covered, do you mind tucking in this little dude?" The brunette nodded and took Finlay into her arms, his legs clinging to her like a koala.

"A book, Mama?"

"Sure, do you want me to read?"

"I can do it." He said confidently, allowing Lexa to stop by the bookshelf before his bed so he could pick the book he wanted. "This one." He pulled out a Dr. Suess book and sat between Lexa's legs as she sat up with him and ran her fingernails up his arms and hair, knowing very well it helped all the kids to fall asleep sooner.

It took a while to get through the jumble of rhymes, but Finlay didn't grow frustrated with some of his harder struggles, only waiting for Lexa to help him when it got too hard on certain pages. By the last page his eyes were sleepy and he slipped under his covers easily, giving Lexa a kiss before she shut off his light and left the night light on by his bed. She exited the room and went to find Clarke holding Indie in her arms, rocking the little one in a bouncing motion.

"Is she asleep?"

"Almost." Clarke replied, swaying a different way as she hummed some more and uttered a few lullabies quietly.

Sure enough Indie was out after ten more minutes, clinging to Clarke with her face close to her mommy's neck.

"How many books did he make you read?" The blonde asked as she and her wife walked back to the little kids room and tucked in the two year old. Lexa placed a kiss on the petit blonde head and allowed Clarke to do the same thing to Finlay before they left them alone for the rest of the night.

"Only one. He read Dr. Suess to me."

"That's a hard one."

"He was pretty good, he keeps getting better and better. Soon he'll be reading books without pictures." The cop stated, taking pride in her wise little boy.

"Too smart for us to comprehend." Replied the blonde as the entered the room of Jude and found him working on what looked like math. "Hi, baby." Clarke said, going to check up on him with Lexa close behind.

"Hi moms."

"How's homework?" Lexa questioned, grabbing some of his dirty clothes off the ground and quickly getting his gross gym gear from his workout bag.

"Brutal. We're either of you good at math?" He asked, the brunette laughing from where she stood.

"I was a failure with numbers, so unless you want to repeat Math 11 again I suggest you stick with your mom." Clarke snickered at that but nodded, agreeing that she could help him.

"Do you have to finish it tonight?" Clarke asked, peering over his shoulder to see the numbers.

"No, I can wait for tomorrow."

"Okay, good. I have a shift until three and then I can pick you guys up and you and I can sit and work on some of this."

"Alright, thank you mom." Jude placed a kiss on his mom's cheek, closing up the books and reaching for his laptop.

"Lights out by eleven." Lexa reminded, kissing his forehead as she was ready to leave the room with her wife.

"Of course. Goodnight moms."

"Goodnight, Bud." They shut the door behind them and proceeded to his twin's room, finding Sophie laughing into her phone.

"Emily." She had mouthed to both mom's, continuing to listen to her friend.

"Lights out in two hours. Goodnight, Princess." Lexa said, kissing the girls dark hair and allowing Clarke to do the same before they moved to the last room.

"Hi, Peanut." Lexa greeted Rowen who was doodling into a sketchpad, closing it when her moms entered.

"Hi Mommy. Hi Mama." She said happily, putting the notepad aside and reaching for her hairbrush. "Mama, can you make me a braid for the night please?" The mother obliged, loving the girl's long blonde locks and getting any opportunity to play with them.

"Is your sister asleep?" Clarke peered over the lump in the opposite bed, covered by the comforter, and curled into a ball. She found the deep blues eyes shut, and the small girls breathing was even.

"She went to bed after dinner. Dunno why though." The eight year old shrugged and relaxed while Lexa made her a perfect fish tail braid.

"Hi, ladybug." Clarke whispered, stroking the hair back from the twelve year olds face. She checked for a fever and found the forehead clear of any heat. The girl didn't awaken, so Clarke let her rest, returning to the other side of the room where Lexa was having fun with the blonde hair of their kid.

"So, swimming tomorrow?"

"Mmh-hmm." Rowen nodded.

"When are you finished?" Lexa asked from behind, finally hitting the last eight inches of hair.

"By 6pm, I think."

"If I get off work early enough I can pick you up so mom doesn't have to drive from the house and then back."

"Okie dokie."

"Just call me tomorrow so then we can make sure that we don't forget her." Clarke said, folding some of the clothes left over from the girls.

"Like last time?"

"Hush. Missy. It was an accident. You're alive, aren't you?" Lexa poked her daughter's side earning a giggle.

"Okay, okay. You still forgot me."

"To be fair, we have a lot of kids to keep track of." Clarke defended, sticking her tongue out.

"Sure. Whatever you say."

"We love you non the less." Lexa said, snapping a hair tie around the end of the braid and placing a kiss on the top of her head.

"Thank you, Mama." Rowen said, stroking her long braid.

"Of course, Peanut. Be sure to go to bed in an hour. Don't make me come back to eat you." The brunette attacked the smaller blonde with kisses, making her giggle loudly.

"I promise! No more!" Rowen said, holding her stomach from all the giggles.

"Goodnight, baby girl." Clarke kissed the head of the still laughing child and allowed Lexa to stand from the bed and leave a kiss on Willow's head before they left the room.

"And that's it." The brunette said, leaning into her wife.

"Every night."

"Have to admit, it's my favourite time of the day."

"I know it is. Because it means you and I are uninterrupted for a good twenty minutes after until the kids shuffle around for more things." The blonde said, making her wife laugh as she pulled her into their room and shut the door. This is how they ended their day. This is how night consumed the busy household, and the hectic hum turned into a quiet whisper as sleep found each member of the family.

* * *

 **How'd you all enjoy chapter 2? I can't wait for you all to see how this story progresses.**

 **Comment, Like, Follow :)**

 **-Valentina**


	3. Chapter 3 - Morning Routines

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 3**  
 **Morning Routines**

Six am arrived too quickly for all peaceful sleepers, the alarm for the moms went off just like it did everyday except for their beloved Saturday and Sunday.

Clarke groaned as she stroked the hair of her wife's head, relaxing with the feel of the naked form that was sprawled on top of her.

"Too early." Lexa whispered, placing a kiss on Clarke's chest, enjoying the warmth of their room.

"The kids will be getting up soon, we need clothes, and coffee."

"Coffee." The cop said back, making the body below her laugh.

"Come on, Lex. Six kids await awakening."

"Too many."

"But we love them all. Come on, baby." Clarke placed a kiss on her wife's lips, the brunette taking a moment to ponder the idea before finally getting up and reaching for her pajamas.

"Do you want to take the babies, or the big kids?"

"Big kids. Indie should wake you up enough to get moving." Lexa snickered at the response and rubbed her eyes, pulling her wife's sweatshirt on and then heading for the still locked door.

"See you when I've got the monkeys." Clarke placed one more kiss on Lexa's lips and headed for the teenagers. Jude got up with about as much enthusiasm as Lexa, clearly proving to be her biological kid.

"Don't make me drag you out of that bed mister." She warned, having already pulled the covers away, taken his pillow, and opened the blinds and window of the room so cool air could encourage him to get up.

"You're not strong enough to." He teased, eyes still shut. She took the arm farthest from her and flipped the teenager from his stomach to his back, causing him to tip off balance and roll onto the ground.

"Showered and ready to eat in twenty minutes." She said proudly, Jude putting a hand up in the air as a thumbs down. She left with that and went to Sophie's room, finding her already waking up from the possible noise next to her.

"Was that Jude?" She asked while Clarke opened the blinds and windows of the room.

"Yup. He's a dead weight in the morning. Go run for one of the showers before I get the little girls up." The mother suggested, placing a kiss over the girl's temple and moving to the last room.

Rowen's mental alarm had her up a solid thirty minutes before everyone else. Thankfully she was old enough to shower and get ready without disturbing anyone in the house.

"Good morning, Peanut." Clarke greeted, kissing the little girl's forehead before heading for the window.

"Morning, mommy. Don't you love Tuesdays? I love Tuesdays." Rowen's talkative persona was up as well, making the mother laugh.

"Tuesdays are nice. I like Saturdays best because we all sleep in. Even you." Rowen nodded and reached for her homework, packing her backpack.

"I like waking up early."

"Of course you do, Row. You are a very peculiar little kid."

"Is that good?" She asked, making Clarke smile as she started to make the bed of the blonde.

"Of course. Now go get some food. Mama probably has Fin and Indie awake so you can help her."

"Okay, mommy." The girl ran out of the room, racing down the stairs and greeting Lexa with even more enthusiasm than Indie had earlier.

"Hey, Will. Time to wake up." Clarke said, lying next to the bed head child. She began to stroke the long pieces of hair behind her head and pressed a kiss onto her nose and forehead. "Come on, ladybug. Open those pretty eyes." Her fingers carefully drew up her forehead, finally getting the deep blue eyes to open slowly. "Good morning." Clarke whispered, pulling her little girl closer.

"I'm tired, mommy." The exhaustion was evident in the twelve year olds voice, making the doctor in Clarke perk up again. However, she knew very well that it was just the effects of waking up, and nodded her head.

"I know, but you have school. Your bed will be here for you tonight." Willow nuzzled further into her mom's embrace and slowly dozed off again. Clarke sighed and began the gentle massage on the back of her little angel. The tense muscles were still stiff, making the mother realize she needed to get Lexa to give their kid one of her signature massages in order to ease whatever was keeping her so wound up. "Ten more minutes." She said, allowing the girl a few more minutes of rest while she stayed and cuddled her.

Their time was up when the noise increased downstairs, making Clarke know her presence was needed, and their day had to keep going.

"You can shower in Mama's and my bathroom. Be quick about it." Clarke placed a kiss over the brunette's temple and went downstairs, greeting Indie and Finlay with tickles and kisses.

"I've got the eggs going. Do you mind getting some toast?" Lexa asked as she scrambled eight eggs into a pan.

"Sure. We need to talk about Willow, she seems really tense and genuinely tired, Lex. I'm worried." The blonde said, popping toast into their four-row toaster.

"Okay. We can try to sit with her after dinner or something." Lexa said with a nod, leaving the eggs for a minute to help Rowen unload the dishwasher.

"Soph! Jude! Your twenty minutes is almost up!" Clarke called, buttering the first slices of toast and placing one on Indie's chair and giving the other to Jude.

"Row, go get some toast. I'll finish here." Lexa said to girl, grabbing the last few glasses and utensils from the machine.

The two teenagers arrived downstairs, Indie taking eggs in her hand and offering them as her greeting.

"No thanks, Ind. Those are yours." Sophie had said, going around the table to kiss both of her moms' cheeks.

"Eat breakfast and be sure to pack lunch. I'm going to get off work at three so I'll get you all from school and take Rowen to swimming right after." Clarke said, taking the crust from Finlay and giving them to Zorro.

"Can I go to the mall with Emily?" Sophie asked as she took a granola bar from the top of the fridge to eat.

"Only if you have no homework, and you eat a real breakfast." The mother said, taking the bar and handing her daughter a plate with toast, eggs, and strawberries.

"Deal." Sophie went to her place at the table to eat while Rowen shuffled around to get food into her lunch bag.

"Hey, Row toss me three bars please." Jude said from his place, watching his sister pull four granola bars from the box and take one for her bag, handing the three over.

"Three bars, Jude?" Lexa asked, cocking an eyebrow while she avoided Indie's fistful of eggs, which hit the ground by her feet, allowing Zorro a chance to lunge at the food.

"I'm a growing boy. Besides, you and mom always say I need to eat in order to succeed in school." He countered, making his mothers laugh.

"Fair enough." Lexa said, taking the plastic plate of the toddler and tossing it in the sink, unstrapping her from the high chair and letting her run around to burn off some of her morning energy.

"Hey, Will! Five minutes, and then I'm coming to get you!" Clarke said by the stairs, going back to the kitchen to pour coffee into two travelers mugs for herself and her wife.

"I'm going to take a shower. I can take the kids to school before work." Clarke said, handing Lexa her mug.

"Sure. I have work at 9:30 so I'm going to get the kids ready for you and then I'm going to clean this place up before I get ready. I'll call you to let you know if I can get Rowen."

"Alright, sounds good." The blonde and brunette couple kissed, stealing a moment from the commotion before going their separate ways to ensure they could make it out the door on time.

Lexa started to clean plates, and ensured lunch bags were filled all while sipping her coffee and chasing Indie so she could change the toddler and Finlay into their day clothes.

"Will!" The brunette called when the last twenty minutes to get the kids ready arrived. Her twelve year old still needed to eat and pack her lunch. "Let's go get sissy." Lexa said to Indie following the girl up the stairs.

"Illow." Indie said as she toddled by the girls room.

"Come on, baby. Go eat and pack some lunch." Lexa said, watching her sluggish girl move around the room, fixing the bed and adjusting the pillows a little too often.

"Okay." She replied in a lazy tone, taking her backpack as she left the room. Lexa grabbed clothes for the little ones. "Fin, time to get ready!" The four year old raced up stairs, Zorro close behind him.

"Green shirt, green shirt, please!" He begged, taking off his pajamas without being asked to and going to Indie to help her.

"Thanks for the help." Lexa said as she took a green shirt from his dresser and a pair of jeans with some boxers, socks, and a sweater. She took some underwear, tights, and a long shirt for Indie before placing everything on the floor. She managed to dress the kids, Finlay talking the whole time about today being his kindergarten classes' day at the library.

"Be sure to get some new books so you can read to mommy and I. We love when you read to us." Lexa said, leading the kids out of the room when they were ready and getting their teeth brushed quickly before setting them up by the door with their shoes, and backpacks.

"Teenagers, little girls, please get your backpacks together and please don't leave your homework behind!" Lexa called, nuzzling noses with Indie once her she zipped up her sweater.

Clarke came down the stairs, dressed in her professional attire, the doctor's coat slung over her shoulder as she took her purse and slipped on some shoes.

"Go save some lives today." Lexa said, leaning her forehead against her wife's.

"Go protect some lives today." Clarke replied, kissing her before the kids interrupted with their giggles and over-exaggerated gagging noises.

"Okay, stop being silly. Go and be your amazing selves. I love you all." Lexa said, kissing each kids head as they walked by. "Be extraordinary!" She called, winking at Willow who managed to crack a smile before she shut the door behind them. She turned and puffed out some air at the sight of a messy house before her, petting Zorro and preparing to clean and get herself ready to leave for work.

* * *

 **I'm seeing a bunch of angst and fluff coming up in Chapter 4. Thank you for those kinds comments and to anyone that has started to read. I truly hope you all enjoy this story!**

 **Comment, Like, Follow :)**

 **-Valentina**


	4. Chapter 4 - Home

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 4**  
 **Home**

Clarke's shift at the hospital was a breeze, few patients coming into the ER requiring simple treatment, therefore giving her the ability to leave at the agreed time.

She enjoyed her work, even more so she enjoyed the fact that she can help her kids before resorting to the ER when they got sick or hurt.

Ever since she was little she wanted to be a doctor, taking after her dad who showed all five of his kids that life can be fulfilled by keeping the worlds health in order, and giving support to those who need it most. He travelled to third world countries, treating sick children and elders with colleagues spread out to help treat others. During a visit to a secluded area only accessed by a day of walking, contracted a nasty virus that had spread to all the people. He passed away before arriving back home for treatment, leaving his wife and five kids to mourn their lose.

Clarke was thirteen at the time, frightened by the world after her dad passed away. She was the middle child but knew very well she had to step up when her mom became too depressed to even work.

The young girl took up an after school job, knowing that she would need to money to help pay for her tuition if she ever wanted to be a doctor. That dream didn't die with her dad.

Teachers helped the girl succeed, writing recommendations to the top universities and helping her balance work and school so she could make what she needed to get into the school she desired.

By grade twelve Clarke was top of her class with universities throwing scholarships at her feet. She went with Harvard and didn't have to worry over her tuition for the first six years. All the money she saved sent her through the last three years of school before she received her doctorate and went to work in the real world.

Along the way she met Lexa, the green eyes captivating her's and drawing her in. She was proud of managing to find a girlfriend such as the brunette but did not expect the backlash effect it would create when she brought her home for break seven years into her education.

The blonde's mom wasn't right after her husband's death and could very well be called unfit to take care of anyone. The words still clung to Clarke, her mother's angry fist as she threatened the young adults. Lexa had defended her on the spot, calling her beautiful, amazing and the greatest thing to happen to this world.

But the words still wake her up at night some days. "First you want to be a doctor because your dad's death wasn't a big enough sign for you and now you bring home a girl. You made yourself into a _LESBIAN_ doctor? Who the hell would hire you? You're a disgrace."

It took Lexa a whole month to get her girlfriend out of the mentality that she wasn't a failure and soon after Clarke graduated the brunette proposed, wanting to make a life with the woman of her dreams.

Eighteen years after that proposal Clarke appreciates all that got her to today. Her father would always be her largest inspiration, and she knows he's proud.

~.~.~

With three hours left on the clock, Lexa's cruiser was called by dispatch to head over to a family home where shots had been fired.

"This is 1504 to dispatch. Woods and I are on route to the location." Her partner communicated, placing the radio back while she sped up the car.

"Let's hope that we can get this wrapped up quickly." Lexa said, glancing at the time on her dashboard and giving a sigh. What she would give for this call to just be gunshots made to scare someone.

When they arrived multiple cruisers pulled up with them, ambulances driving onto the curb and parking on the sidewalk due to the crowded street. This seemed far from an easy situation.

"The person who shot the gun fled the scene! You have to get him! He shot up that whole house." A bystander said, her voice hysterical as she tried to approach Lexa.

"Ma'am please go inside your home. It isn't safe out here." Lexa said, taking her gun from her hip and gathering the group of cops before they entered.

Inside was a bloodbath, the red appearing on the walls and floor, trickling up the carpeted stairs and staining what looked to be a white toy bunny.

"I'll take Conners, Frand, and Langel upstairs. The rest of you search the main floor, basement, and garage." Lexa said, leading her group upstairs. The sight was forever etched into the cop's mind, her stomach rolling when they came across the family, their blood drenched bodies covering the floor. "Oh shit. WE NEED EMT'S NOW!" Lexa said so loud the whole house heard, her instincts to find any heartbeats amongst the two parents and three kids taking over all protocol. She knelt in the blood and placed fingers on necks, grimacing at the stab wounds covering everyone down to the smallest child. He was probably Finlay's age. Her stomach rolled again.

Feet stomped up the stairs, the paramedics making their presence known.

"They're dead!" Lexa cried out, her hands shaking furiously as she tried to find any sign of life. "All of them are dead." She said, choking on her words when she thought about her own family.

"Call it." Langel said to Frand, Conners taking Lexa by the shoulders to help her up. Her deep red hands and blood patched knees sent her into shock mode.

"Come on, Woods. We need to search the house and you need to tell the detectives how you found the bodies." Conners said, walking her downstairs towards the large crime scene blocked street.

The officer was given a towel to clean her hands, the pink tinge sticking to her as she looked over her shaking fingers.

The head detective of the case came over, acting as some comfort to Lexa before asking for a quick statement on the scene upstairs.

"There was a lot of blood and they were piled together. A woman and man, three kids all under ten. I tried to find a pulse from any of them. They're all dead."

"Any surface evidence?"

"Stab wounds, blood covering the walls, and it seemed like they looked like they were manipulated into lying on the ground like that. The littlest boy looked like he was drowning in blood. Am I done?"

"Yeah, take a minute to gather yourself and then we'll see what you can help with."

Lexa sat on the curb, taking a bottle of water from the ambulance and using it to rinse her hands. She was suffocating the panic inside her, begging to be sent on her way now so she could pick up her kid and be home for dinner with her family who made her feel like vomiting at the moment with thought of their death.

The crime scene didn't slow down for hours, people bustling around for evidence, and statements from neighbours. Lexa called Clarke at five to tell her she couldn't get Rowen from swimming, taking a moment to explain the case. Though it wasn't evident in her tone, Lexa was begging to allow herself to fall apart over the phone. Clarke felt for her wife and whispered to her how much she loved her and how she would be there for her when she got home.

And the blonde kept her word, managing to feed all the kids, clean up the kitchen, bathe the little ones and get everyone tucked in. Before Willow left the kitchen she stuck by Clarke quietly, asking for Lexa's return. Her mom told her she wouldn't be back for a while, questioning why the girl needed her mama. She said she wanted to ask them a question but said that it didn't matter, sadly leaving the room before Clarke could stop her.

By midnight Lexa arrived, Clarke greeting her at the door and offering open arms. The brunette began to sob then and there, shaking so hard Clarke worried she would fall into a million pieces.

"Their babies were dead, Clarke." Lexa said when they got to their room, Clarke getting to work on her wife, taking off the woman's uniform. "I kept thinking about our kids. About you. Our family gone like theirs. I just – they were-" Lexa ran for the bathroom, falling by the toilet and releasing her stomach contents, which wasn't much.

"Shh, baby I've got you." Clarke said, rubbing Lexa's bare back and placing a kiss on the back of her head.  
"I should've looked harder, I should've tried to bring them back." Lexa sobbed, allowing Clarke to pull her back so her back was pressed against her wife's chest. Clarke's arms held her tightly and she began to rock lightly, the cop's breathing erratic with panic.

"This is something you can't blame yourself for, Lex. Breathe, baby. Just take a few deep breaths."

"I can't. It's on me." Lexa said, looking to her pink tinged hands. "Get it off, Clarke. Please, get it off!" The brunette began to shake harder again, Clarke moving quickly to get them up and into the shower. She turned on the hot water and pulled Lexa under the rain with her, allowing her clothes to get soaked, along with the remains garments on her wife.

Lexa began to struggle, attempting to stripe of her clothing, which was getting heavier and weighing her down. Clarke took off their clothes, bringing the brunette closer and doing everything she could to calm her.

"Come on, Lex. Look at me." The brunette obliged finally and they locked eyes, water falling over their faces as their breathing evened out. "You didn't do anything wrong." Clarke took her wife's face in her hands and stroked her thumbs over the beautiful woman's cheekbones.

"I'm so sorry." Lexa fell against Clarke, feeling the strong arms wrap around her and hold her tight, the warm water bringing them into a calm mood.

They got out of the shower when the water turned cold and didn't speak until Clarke dressed her wife in pajamas and changed into dry ones.

"Come with me," Clarke took Lexa's hand and walked them from the room, creeping down the hallway. "All of our babies are fast asleep, safe in their beds with no one threatening them. They love you so much, Lex. Look at how peaceful they are." Lexa walked through each room, placing gentle kisses on each of her kids, heads.

When she got to Finlay she admired the small boy a little longer, replacing the bloody child image with the one of her sleeping boy, his curls tousled and car pajamas amuck over his limps.

"All safe." Lexa said quietly, kissing his forehead and covering him with the kicked off bedspread. The couple left the kids to sleep again, heading back to their room where Clarke pulled Lexa on top of her.

"I love you." The blonde said, running her fingers over Lexa's back, leaving kisses on her hairline.

"I love you, too." Lexa replied, nuzzling her nose into the neck of her wife and sighing a relaxing breathe. She was safe in this embrace. She was home.

* * *

 **The work of a cop isn't glamourous. Here was a bit of vulnerability from Lexa's end.**

 **Any comments on something you want to happen in this story? I can always try to incorporate your ideas and give credit to the helpers.**

 **Everything is appreciated :)**

 **-Valentina**


	5. Chapter 5 - Running Into Memories

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 5**  
 **Running Into Memories**

Lexa stayed home the next day, keeping Indie with her while Clarke went to work and the kids went to school. She spent hours on the floor of the living room playing with the toddler, speaking to her in the mix of English and child like gibberish.

Indie kept Lexa's mind off of the memories of her previous day, forcing her Mama to play dolls, dress up, and princess at the ball.

"Ance!" Indie declared, twirling with her arms over her head, standing on her toes.

"Dance, Indie. Like a ballerina." Lexa copied the small child and enjoyed the giggles that surrounded them, barley realizing the time until one of her kids entered the house and slammed the door. A rush of dark brown hair ran upstairs and crying could be heard from the teenager.

Lexa quickly scooped up Indie and went to the stairs.

"Soph! Honey, what's wrong?" She called up, hoping the following group of students could explain. Soon enough Jude entered with his hand holding Finlay's, the little boy chatting away.

"Hi, guys. What's wrong with Soph?" Their mama asked, handing the toddler to Willow who nodded to the sudden goos and babbles.

"She said something about a boy on the way home. Then she said she was going to run ahead to do homework." Jude explained, taking the sweater of his little brother and Rowen.

"I'll check on her. Please get started on homework, and keep the little ones busy for a few minutes." The brunette dashed up the stairs, opening the teenager's door and not finding her at first. Turning her head she saw Sophie sitting against the wall by the door, her legs brought up to her chest as tears stained her rosy cheeks.

"Hi Princess, why all the tears?" Lexa asked, taking a seat on the floor in front of her daughter and tucking some hair away from Sophie's face.

Sniffling quickly, and licking her lips Sophie began to re-illiterate to her mother the events at school.

"Thomas finally noticed me and he was being really nice and we were having a great conversation but some dumb-ass tripped behind me and shoved me making me fall to the ground. The whole hallway was laughing, Mama." A small smile came to Lexa's lips as she thought about her kid's first messy encounter with her crush.

"Aw, baby. I'm sure Thomas was able to see that it was an accident."

"He tried to help me up but I ran. I was so humiliated."

"Do you want to hear how I met your mom?" Lexa asked, hoping her embarrassing tale would help ease her child's discomfort.

"I already know. You guys said that you were walking on Harvard campus and you ran into her."

"Yeah, except you kids didn't hear that I literally ran into her. Your mother was such a bookworm and I was bustling to get to my social justice class, and we ran smack into one another. Coffee, notes, body parts, it was a mess. We were on the ground, groaning in pain, drenched in the lukewarm coffees we both had. I was freaking out because there was a beautiful girl before me, and do you know what your mom did?" Sophie shook her head. "She began to laugh. She laughed so hard that all the humiliation I felt washed away, leaving me no other choice but to laugh as well. I fell in love with her because of her laugh. It was the best noise I had ever heard." Lexa said, smiling fondly at the memory. Sophie smiled as well, feeling like her problems were solved by the story of her mama and mom's first encounter.

"Do you think I'll ever find that? Someone who makes me fall in love because of one little thing?"

"Everyone is different. Your mom always said she fell in love with my eyes. I can tell you that one bad encounter with a person you like does not mean you won't ever find the right one. You will always make mistakes, and be clumsy around the people who make you nervous, but that is what makes it all the more memorable. Being able to think about those quirks and admire them in your partner. It's special."

"You and mom seem to know how to fix everything." The teenager said, leaning her head back against the wall and wiping her wet cheeks with her long sleeve.

"A lot of learning and listening helped us learn how to do that. Now come give me a hug." The older brunette opened her arms allowing the younger girl to crawl into her embrace and enjoy the mother – daughter snuggle.

~.~.~

"Okay, we need a butt load of butter. Oh geez that can't be healthy." Clarke entered her home and heard her wife say those words, laughter coming from all her kids.

"Mama, the rolls look ready." Rowen said, Lexa laughing.

"You've been sitting in front of that oven for five minutes. There is no way that those buns have finished cooking." The woman replied, glancing up when Clarke entered and giving her a huge grin. "Hi, baby."

"Hey, how was your home day?" Clarke asked, swinging around to give her wife a kiss before greeting all her kids.

"Good. Ind and I danced a bunch, and Sophie and I had a good talk. Now we're making dinner."

"I'm on oven watch duty." Rowen piped up, laughing as Clarke's toes attacked her side, making her sprawl out on the kitchen floor in a fit of giggles.

"You better keep a close eyes, otherwise our dinner will burn." The blonde warned.

"Not fair, you tickled me!" Rowen said as she sat up and went back to watching the oven.

"Life's a distraction, I guess." The mother replied, going over to her other kids.

"Hi, Ladybug." Before her hand could meet Willow's back the girl was out of her seat, shutting the books as she rose and left the room, not saying a word to her mom. "What's wrong with her?"

"She hasn't said a word since the kids got home. I have no idea what's bugging her." Lexa replied, grimacing at the green mush in the bowl. "Are you sure this is how the recipe directed to make it?" She asked Jude.

"For the millionth time, Mama. Those were the directions. You're just a bad cook."

"Nu-uh."

"Yeah-hu." The two went back and forth, ending with tongues sticking out at one another.

"Geez, my wife is a child. Let me see if I can fix it, Lex." Clarke suggested, taking the bowl and testing the taste. The puree substance wasn't terrible and Clarke got to work fixing up something to match it.

"How does fish sound?" The doctor asked, pulling the filets from the fridge and showing them to the room of people.

"Sure."

"Yeah."

"Yum."

"ISH!"

The whole room replied, except for Finlay.

"How does fish sound, Fin?" Lexa asked, getting him to look up from his picture book.

"Okay." He said, making his mama laugh at his distracted response.

"Fish it is." Clarke said, taking a pan and preparing it to seer the white filets.

Dinner was ready thirty minutes later, Rowen doing a great job to make sure the buns came out at the right moment while the teenagers worked around a reading Finlay to set the table and Indie babbled to herself about all her adventures.

"Someone get Willow, please." Clarke requested as she plated the last fish filet and put some of the green puree beside it. The vegetables Lexa tossed last minute were put into a bowl and placed at the table next to the plate of bread.

Rowen returned with her roommate as the mothers began to place plates at the table, Sophie getting Indie into her highchair.

Willow sat and didn't say a word, Clarke walking by and placing the plate in front of the twelve year old.

"We can talk after dinner, okay?" The blonde asked, getting a little nod from the girl.

"So what are tomorrow's schedules?" Lexa asked once everyone was seated for dinner, bread being tossed between siblings as usual.

"Boxing after school until six." Jude said, taking a carrot and smothering it in the green goop.

"Soph?"

"I have year book after school. I should also be done by six."

"I have swimming tomorrow, moms." Rowen reminded.

"Of course, angel. No one will forget to pick you up." Clarke said, turning to Willow.

"I can take Finlay and Indie home." The twelve year old said with no sign of being for or against the idea.

"That would be a lot of help, sweetie." Lexa said, offering the girl a smile.

"When will you come home?"

"Our shifts both end at six tomorrow. So one of us will go by the school to get Jude and Sophie, and the other will get Rowen at the pool." Clarke replied, looking to her wife.

"I can get, Row. I promised to do it yesterday but wasn't able to."

"Okay, perfect. So Will, we'll all be back by no later than seven. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, I guess."

That was all that was said from the girl that evening, the rest of the family throwing in their day's journeys and adventures. Zorro sat by the high chair and kept his head held high by the toddler's hand, waiting for her to drop food to the floor.

Once they wrapped up dinner and cleaned the kitchen the older kids moved up stairs, Finlay running close behind to be like them while both mom's took Willow to talk in the living room.

Before they could even sit on the couch a loud cry broke free through the house, sending both mothers running. Finlay was at the bottom of the stairs, crying hysterically while holding his head.

Lexa squatted by him and placed a hand over his, holding his head still and looking him over for any visible injury.

"What happened?" She asked, Clarke kneeling next to her and moving the three hands on the child's head to look for any blood.

"I felled down the stairs." Finlay explained, snot dribbling from his nose as he whimpered.

"My poor baby. Come on, let's get some ice for your owies." Lexa scooped him into her arms and carefully walked them to the kitchen, helping Clarke hold ice to his banged up head, elbow, and knees while the boy sat on the counter edge.

"No doctors." He said as Lexa wiped his nose with a tissue.

"No baby, you only got a little beat up. You have to be careful when going upstairs. You could've gotten even more owies. That wouldn't be any fun."

"No." He agreed, shaking his head making the frozen bag of peas shift.

"Are you feeling better?" Clarke asked, kissing his forehead as she held the peas to his head and frozen corn to his elbow.

"A little."

"That's better than before. Give mommies kisses." Lexa said, getting a kiss first and then smiling as Clarke received one.

"Thank you for fixing me." He said, playing with one of Lexa's curls as he spoke.

"Of course, munchkin. That's what mommies are for."

Meanwhile, Willow moved upstairs, sliding into her bed and forcing herself to sleep. It was the backseat for her, once again.

* * *

 **Here's chapter 5!**

 **Hope you all enjoyed it.**

 **Comment, Like, Follow :)**

 **-Valentina**


	6. Chapter 6 - Breaking Point

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 6**  
 **Breaking Point**

Thursday zoomed by, the family buzzing with excitement for the up coming weekend of laziness and nothing more.

Friday morning found everyone heading off to school with Clarke once again, Lexa staying to finish cleaning and to get herself ready for work.

The brunette vacuumed the main level, picking up toys and books from yesterday through the process. She went through all rooms, gathering clothes and trash that was poorly thrown into the nearby trash cans. The house was quiet except for Zorro's collar chiming with every step he took behind his master.

Lexa showered quickly and pulled her hair into a ponytail before dressing in her police uniform with her badge safely placed in her pocket.

She left at nine, taking ten minutes to drive to work with another ten minutes to spare before she had to listen for today's assignments.

"Good morning, Officer Woods." The Head detective greeted, nodding as she passed.

"Detective Monroe." The officer replied, heading for the coffee machine in the lounging area. She got through her first cup, knowing very well a second would be necessary before she left to parole the streets for crime. She was in the different cruiser from Tuesday, with Jasper Jordan accompanying her on the road.

"Ready for a great day of crime fighting?" The man asked as they signed out their guns and grabbed the cruiser pack.

"I'm ready for a great day of speeding tickets and nothing more." The woman replied, holstering the weapon and getting her radio over her shoulder.

"That could always work too." Jasper said with a laugh, leading them to the car.

They paroled the streets and pulled over a single car for having a broken taillight when Lexa's radio sparked to life.

"Officer Woods, we've got a Trikru Middle School calling for you. Apparently you and your wife aren't answering and they need a parent there as soon as possible."

"My wife is at work. Her phone is in her locker as is mine. Did they specify why one of us needs to go?" The brunette asked as she re-route the GPS to take them back to the station so she could get her real car.

"No ma'am. Just that one of you needs to go."

"Alright. I'll be returning for Jordan's and my lunch break." Lexa hurried back to the station, leaving Jasper with her gun, and radio before racing to the Middle School.

"Mrs. Woods. Thank you for coming." The principal greeted the woman as she entered the school.

"Of course. Is Willow alright?" The mother asked, looking around with worry.

"Yes and no," The woman began, leading the mother into her office. "Today at recess I was making my way around the school and found Willow acting very distressed. She was fidgeting, and walking around for no reason. When I approached her she was jumpy and wouldn't look me in the eye."

"My wife and I have noticed she's been quieter than usual." Lexa said, chewing her lip. Why hadn't they returned to the talk two days ago?

"When the break before lunch came around I went to see how she was and I got the same response. She seems wound far to tightly for a seventh grader."

"May I take her home? My wife and I need to get to the bottom of this. Our daughter shouldn't be struggling with whatever's bothering her on her own."

"Of course. The kids should be heading back to class soon. I already informed her teacher to send her here before she began her lesson."

"As a woman who's seen many children, have you ever encountered someone behaving like Willow?" Lexa asked, hoping the woman could offer some help in the subject.

"Well all kids have different ticks. If this is sparked by bullying then we can most definitely help her and hopefully have her back to normal as soon as possible. However, some children shift behavior dramatically. This could be a deeper issue that only a therapist can help you understand. I'd suggest you try contacting a few on this list. They all specialize in children, and if you explain any information you can get out of Willow, they can help you figure out what is truly bugging her." A yellow paper was handed to the cop, the woman taking a moment to glance over all the names.

"Thank you." A knock at the door ended the conversation there, the principal opening it and smiling at the girl.

"Hello, Willow. Your mom is here to take you home. Go and enjoy your weekend." The educator said kindly, shaking Lexa's hand before the mother and daughter left.

"Hey Ladybug. How about you and I head home, make some awesome grilled cheese, and cuddle on the couch?" Lexa asked as she wrapped an arm around her little girl.

"Okay." The smaller brunette replied, climbing into the back seat of her mom's car and quietly watching the streets fly by on their journey home. Once at the house she raced to get upstairs, Lexa calling her to stop before she could get to the third step.

"Will, sweetie you need to talk. You need to tell me what's wrong." The cop said, taking a small hand in her's and bringing her back down the stiars.

"I tried." The girl said, her voice betraying her and cracking with tears in the process. A single stream of tears began to fall from each eye as the girl swallowed the lump in her throat and continued calmly, "I tried really hard."

"But mommy and I didn't listen, huh?"

"They need you and mommy." Willow said, addressing her siblings constant attention.

"Yeah but baby, we are your parents too. You need us as well." The little girl shook her head furiously and bit her lip, her hands wringing out one another. She was at her tightest point, the last of her limits being reached as the overwhelming impact of the world swallowed her whole.

"I don't know what wrong!" She said in an outburst, tears falling faster.

"What do you mean?" Lexa asked, trying to look her kid in the eyes.

"I don't know. My mind is foggy, I'm tired, my heart keeps racing and my hands are always shaky, and I just want to sleep all day but I can't and I don't feel good anymore. I just want to feel good, Mama." Sobs overcame the small body, making her shake aggressively with the panic swelling from within and boiling over.

"My poor, baby." Lexa immediately pulled the twelve year old in, cradling her close as the panic consumed her daughter. She breathed unevenly, chopping up her inhales with sobs as her heart pounded so harshly she was sure it would explode. "Come baby, you need to breathe." The mother said, leading the girl into the living room, aiming for the couch. However, Willow needed to feel grounded and immediately went to the floor, holding her chest as she begged for a breath.

"Okay, okay. Shhh. I'm here." Lexa said, sitting down and pulling Willow into her arms. She held her close and began to hum, rubbing a hand over the small girl's back in order to help her breathe properly.

"No more, Mama. I don't want to feel like this anymore." Willow said, coughing as her sobs choked her.

"Mommy and I are going to help you. You don't have to be scared and alone anymore. Please don't cry, ladybug." Lexa felt tears well in eyes as she gripped her daughter close. Watching her child break down like this was ruining her.

"I want mommy." The brunette whispered, curling tighter onto Lexa's lap.

"Okay, I will call mommy and see if she can come home. First lets see if you can calm down a bit. Nice deep breaths, Will." Lexa captured Willow's eyes and watched the shaky breaths begin, sitting on the floor with the girl on her. Every so often it would seem as if Willow was calming down but her breathing would hitch and send her spiraling again. Lexa grew worried when they hit the thirty minute point and Willow had yet to breath properly, so she immediately called Clarke. The doctor still didn't have her break so the phone rang with no answer.

"Okay, let's try this again, Will. Breathe with me. Don't think about anything else. Just look at me." The mother cradled the cheeks of her sobbing daughter, her pinkies reaching the warm neck of her kid and being able to feel the thumping of her erratic heartbeat.

"I-I ca-n't." Willow sobbed out, shaking her head.

"You can, baby. I know you can. Just try. Breathe with me." They sat for a while longer, twenty minutes passing and Willow finally exhausting herself to the point of not being able to cry at all. The room went silent, as the small girl seemed to have calmed enough to finally catch her breath.

"I'm going to try to call, mommy." Lexa pulled her phone from her pocket and stroked the hair of the head on her shoulder while she waited for Clarke to answer. Thankfully the doctor was approaching her locker to grab her phone for her break when she heard it ringing.

"Hey, Lex."

"Hi, baby. So we've got a little situation here at home. Will is home with me and she really wants you here." Lexa kept her voice calm for Willow's sake and placed a gentle kiss to her forehead.

"What's wrong? Is she okay?" Clarke asked frantically.

"Everything is a little overwhelming right now, and she's very stressed out. Do you think you can leave work early?"

"Of course," Clarke said without a second thought. "Anything for my girl. Maybe set her up in our bed, when I get home we can talk to her and she can nap after."

"That's a great idea. Will, mommy said you get to hang out on our bed. Would you like to go upstairs?" The petit brunette nodded and began to stand up, Lexa still on the phone when the twelve year old sat back down from being too dizzy. "Okay, easy now. Clarke I'm going to carry her up to our room. Hurry home." She hung up then and put her phone on the couch. "Nice and easy, ladybug." When she got them to their feet her hands went on her back and under her legs, scooping her up and beginning to climb the stairs.

She got them on the bed and cuddled the girl close until Clarke arrived, taking some time downstairs before coming up to greet them both. In her arms were the pajamas from the dryer, lavender oil, and a glass of water. She placed everything on the nightstand and proceeded to lie opposite of Lexa, looking Willow in the eye as her fingers combed back the curly hair.

"Hi, Ladybug." She whispered, stroking her fingers over the warm tear stained cheeks. "Can we get you into something more comfortable?" The doctor asked tugging at the shirt of her kid.

"Yeah." The hoarse voice replied. Lexa sat them up and held Willow while Clarke took the shirt and jeans of their daughter. Before she put the pajama shirt over the girl she had her lie on her stomach, back available for Lexa to massage it.

"Just relax, baby girl." Lexa said, taking the oil and lightly beginning a search for knots on her back. The tense child was wound clearly too tight and her body was taking the brut of the force, leaving her to be exhausted and her muscles strained.

"I'm going to grab a hot towel." Clarke went to boil some water, taking a few small towels before dousing them in the hot liquid and carefully reining them out. Back upstairs she and Lexa placed a warm towel on the girl's neck, and then on her lower back when Lexa struggled to free almost all the knots.

"Mommy, I'm tired." Willow said, her voice sounding even more exhausted than they've heard it all week.

"I know, and I promise mama and I will help you feel better as soon as possible." The blonde began to brush her fingers through the brunette's hair while Lexa traced a finger over her eyelids and eyebrows, making her little face sleepy and then finally putting the child to sleep.

Clarke placed a hand over the warm forehead of the sleeping girl. "She's going to have a fever from all of this crying. How bad was she?"

"Clarke, it was terrifying. She shook like a leaf. I thought she was going to pass out and I had no idea how to help her. It took an hour just to get her to take air into her lungs before I could call you. She told me that she doesn't know why she feels this way, and I believe that. This isn't bullying or anything like that. She is genuinely confused and scared of herself."

"We will fix this, Lex. That's our job as parents."

"Okay, we should let her sleep. She could really use some peace and quiet." Clarke agreed and stood up from the bed, closing the blinds and curtains of the room, making it dark compared to the sunny scene that existed before.

The couple left, glancing at their broken daughter before moving downstairs to greet their other kids, aiming to keep them all quiet so Willow could sleep.

* * *

 **So I would like to express the fact that the upcoming events in the story did sort of connect to my own life. I have built the character of Willow around myself and thought it would be a new way to address what I went through a few years back, expect for the fact that I didn't have the awesome Lexa and Clarke for moms. My parents were amazing though and are an incredible support system.**

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter :)**

 **-Valentina**


	7. Chapter 7 - Fear The World

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 7**  
 **Fear The World**

"Hey, mama. Can we order pizza for dinner?" Jude entered the kitchen with an x-box controller at hand. Finlay was right behind him, having watched the video game explode over the screen in the living room.

"Sure, bud. When your mom comes down from checking on Will I'll ask her. Is Indie napping in her pen?"

"Yeah, she was pretty tuckered out. Maybe she caught what Willow has." When the kids came home Clarke and Lexa told them that Willow was sick and to not disturb her in their room.

"It's been a long week. She tends to sleep more on Fridays." Lexa said, reassuring her son.

"Okay. Come on Fin, let's got get the bad-guys." The small boy cheered and ran back into the living room. When the boys were out of earshot Lexa took her phone and dialed the seventh number on the sheet the Middle School Principal gave her. On the six names above Clarke and her have scribbled notes and information on each therapist, hoping to narrow-down who could help them best. Before this number Clarke went to check on Willow and was probably laying with the girl for a while so Lexa took this call on her own.

"Hello, Dr. Wilder's Office. Susan speaking." The receptionist greeting, her voice calming and convincing Lexa that this woman would make a good therapist with a tone like that.

"Hi, my name is Lexa Woods. My wife and I have some concerns for our twelve year old daughter and were hoping to speak with Dr. Wilder for a moment."

"Of course. Let me check if she can take a minute. Please hold." The line hummed with silence until it came back to life with a different voice.

"Hello, Dr. Wilder speaking."

"Hello Dr. Wilder, thank you for taking a moment of your time to speak with me."

"Of course, what may I help you with?"

"My twelve year old daughter has been acting very distressed for two or three weeks now and today her school called with a concern about her mental health. She came home with me and broke down. I have never seen this kind of behavior from her. She was struggling to breathe and she said she was scared and tired of feeling the way she was. My wife and I are concerned that she is suffering and we can't help her."

"That is concerning. I'm sorry you had to encounter a situation such as that. No parent should have to watch their child breakdown. I understand this call was probably for a minor answer to this large struggle your daughter is enduring, but I can't clearly pinpoint without meeting her. If you'd like to set up an appointment I would love to meet her, see her aneurisms and quirks. The first appointment is free of charge."

"I'll have to talk to my wife. Thank you for your time."

"Of course. Have a pleasant evening."

"Was that Dr. Wilder?" Clarke asked as she entered, tears in her eyes as she tried to swallow them.

"Yeah. She seemed alright, but I don't want to just pick one. Willow is our baby, we need to find exactly what she needs." Lexa explained, Clarke nodded and chewed her lip, standing by her chair but not sitting. "C'mere." Lexa opened her arm to welcome the blonde who hugged her wife immediately.

"She seems so broken, Lex. How did we let her become so broken?" Tears fell from the blue eyes as Lexa struggled to contain hers.

"We always thought she was just quiet. That nothing could break our only kid who hardly showed when something wasn't her way and she disliked it. She was okay in our eyes."

"Not this week. We saw it." Clarke mumbled, twirling a piece of Lexa's hair as a distraction.

"We messed up. Parents mess up all the time. Maybe we should take break with these calls and go take care of Willow for bit. Jude asked if we could order a pizza."

"Yeah, I don't think cooking dinner would be a good idea tonight. It's too much work." The doctor said, rubbing her face and exiting the kitchen with Lexa.

"Okay. We can call in an hour. Let's go lay with our, ladybug."

In the room Clarke ran a hand over Willow's forehead and sighed at the heat radiating from it.

"Still warm?" Lexa asked, taking the edge of the blanket and climbing in with her daughter.

"Yeah. She's going to feel rotten when she gets up."

"Hopefully we can keep it contained to this room. We don't need another sick baby."

The mothers settled under the covers and turned on the TV, flipping through the channels for a while. After thirty minutes Willow began to curl and wither between her Lexa and Clarke, a whimper escaping her.

"Hey, Ladybug. Shh, you're okay." Clarke said, rubbing the now clothed back of her daughter.

"mmh- n-no." Willow mumbled, her breathing turning ragged again. Lexa joined Clarke in awakening the girl and when they did tears began to pour from her deep blue eyes again. "I'm sorry." She whimpered out.

"Hey. No apologizing. This isn't your fault, Will." Lexa said, stroking hair from the girl's sweaty forehead and neck. Willow said nothing more and just sat up in bed, looking unsure of where she belonged. "C'mere my ladybug." Lexa pulled her daughter down and curled up with her. Clarke's fingers went to massage Willow's scalp, getting her back to sleep much to the mothers' satisfaction.

Once more they managed to keep Willow asleep and the girl shifted only to lie on top of Lexa, her ear in the place of her mama's heart so she could hear all gentle thumps.

Jude came up to ask about ordering pizza and Clarke gave him permission to do so, asking if he and Sophie could handle giving dinner to the little ones tonight.

Thankfully Jude was a very wise boy and could see that both his mothers were consumed with his little sister, therefore he went as far as offering to bathe Finlay and Indie as well.

"Thank you, buddy. If you need help one of us can slip out. Go and order dinner, before the little ones protest from their hunger." Clarke said, smiling at her son before he shut the door carefully.

"We've got the best kids." Lexa said fondly, rubbing Willow's back again.

"Of course we do. We hit the jackpot with this bunch." Clarke said, cuddling into her wife's side and laying gentle kisses on Willow's face.

~.~.~

Sophie answered the door when the pizza arrived, Indie following her and proudly telling the pizza boy her name when he handed over the pizzas.

The boy laughed and took the money, Sophie rolling her eyes at Indie once the door was shut.

"You need to learn about stranger danger." The brunette said, offering the toddler her hand and leading her to the kitchen where Jude was setting up plates and cups.

"Should we put a plate aside for moms?" Sophie asked, placing down the pizza and change on the side counter.

"Yeah, that's a good idea." Jude handed over a plate and Sophie placed two cheese and two pepperoni slices.

"IZZA!" Indie screamed out, seeing the food. Sophie shot a look to Jude telling him to control her, which he did immediately.

"Hey, Ind you have to calm down. Mommies are busy with Willow. She's sick remember?"

"Member." She replied, placing a fist by her mouth and beginning to drool on it.

"Okay, so we have to be nice and quiet." Jude carefully took the hand from the wet mouth. "How do we be quiet?" He demonstrated with his finger and put it over his lips and she instantly copied, giggling past the small pudgy finger. "Good girl." He said, scooping her up and placing her in her high chair. Finlay and Rowen went to grab pizza, which Sophie was handing out.

"Are mommies going to kiss me goodnight?" Finlay asked as he picked the cheese off of his cheese pizza.

"Soph and I will get you into bed tonight but I'm sure mommies can give you kisses before." Jude said, taking a pepperoni slice for himself.

The five siblings ate and joked, Rowen taking Finlay's cheese and eating it for him while Indie ate only her crust and the cheese and pepperoni from the pizza.

Zorro jumped up to place his upper half onto an empty seat so he could eye all the plates in front of him.

"Silly, boy." Rowen laughed, giving him a piece of meat from her slice.

After dinner the little ones were taking to getting a bath a little harder than usual, making the twins lose their patience faster than they anticipated.

"Indie, stop splashing me." Sophie said when the toddler threw the wet cup from the tub at her sister, causing the little contents to fall onto the teenager's shirt.

"Mommies!" The toddler demanded, splashing her fist into the water and repeating the action when Sophie approached with the showerhead to rinse her.

"Willow needs mommies right now. Sit still."

"NO!" Indie said, smacking Sophie's hand away angrily.

"Quit it, Ind." Jude said as he took the shower head to quickly rinse Finlay.

"Jude, my eyes!" Finlay said when the water dribbled into his face.

"It's water, it won't hurt." The boy replied, handing over a small towel so Finlay could clean his eyes.

"MOMMIES!" Indie screamed so loud that even Rowen who was watching TV downstairs heard and was startled by.

"Be quiet, please!" Sophie begged, jumping when the master bedroom door opened and shut. Clarke entered the hallway washroom to find her teenagers covered in water spots and the little ones soaked with the bubbly suds

"Hi guys, I'll take over." The blonde said with a smile, glancing back at the room she just left where Willow had awoken from the screaming and run to throw up in the master bathroom. She didn't want to leave but Lexa begged her, saying the kids would only make more noise.

"We're so sorry." Jude said, holding Finlay's arm when the boy moved to stand up.

"That's alright. They can be a little too silly during bath time. Go and get cleaned up." The mother said, taking her kids place and greeting the little ones with a smile.

"Hi babies!" She said making them giggle.

"We had pizza." Finlay said proudly, trying to stand again.

"That sounds yummy, baby. How about we finish getting clean and then I can put a movie in your room?" She offered, holding him down so he wouldn't slip.

"Vie!" Indie said, Clarke laughing at her excitement.

"Yeah, rascal. But you have to keep it down. Okay?"

"K!" The blonde rolled her eyes at the lack of a quieter reply but quickly rinsed the two and got them wrapped in towels.

She dressed the little ones in their pajamas and placed them in their respective beds, turning on their TV and putting on a Disney movie that would likely keep them occupied until they fell asleep.

"Sweet dreams." She said, kissing Finlay and then Indie's head. The toddler was baffled when her mother wouldn't rock her like normal but was quickly enticed by the movie.

Clarke returned to the master bathroom to find Lexa seated against the corner of the sink and wall, their daughter sniffling and shivering in between her mama's legs with her face tear soaked and eyes broken as ever.

"She was scared that one of the kids was hurt because we were with her and not them." Lexa said as Clarke sat before them, reaching out to wipe away some of the still flowing tears.

"The little ones were being silly. No one is hurt, ladybug." The blonde promised, her doctor mode kicking in when she realized that her child's anxiety must've existed because of actual fear for the world. "You're safe." She added, preparing herself to sit with her wife and child in that position for however long they would need to.

* * *

 **Hi all,**

 **So I'm heading off to Cuba tomorrow morning for two weeks, and there is unfortunately no wifi there. I will be adding Chapter 8 today in the evening and then I will quickly post chapter 9 before I leave tomorrow but you will have to wait quite a while for chapter 10. I promise that chapter 9 won't be leaving you with a cliff hanger of any sorts, but you should prepare yourselves because this story is about to take a turn that no one will like me for. Of course that's only going to happen in like chapter 20, so we have a little while until I rock your worlds.**

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter :)**

 **-Valentina**


	8. Chapter 8 - Three Big Words

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 8**  
 **Three Big Words**

Monday rolled around and Lexa agreed to miss work so she could take Willow to the first therapist they settled on.

Dr. Reynolds was suggested by the ninth therapist they called. They had explained the fear of everything playing a major role and were instantly directed to Dr. Reynolds, being told that she really found what got the child to behave in certain ways and had been most successful in finding solutions for the whole family.

The woman was pleasant over the phone and said she would love to meet Willow as soon as possible leading Lexa to getting the small brunette up an hour after all other house habitants left so they could get ready for their 11 o'clock appointment.

Before their arrival at the office Willow began to feel sick again and begged for Lexa to stop the car. The mother instantly did and they ended up sitting with the door open for thirty minutes, Lexa calling in to explain and Dr. Reynolds saying that there was still time for the girl to come in since her day was relatively loose and easy to organize.

The two got back on the road and arrived at 11:35, Dr. Reynolds welcoming them in instantly.

"So Willow, why don't you and I have a little chat, your mom can wait here and then you can bring her in whenever you're most comfortable."

"Okay." The girl agreed, gripping Lexa's hand the whole time.

"Alright, come on in then." Lexa pressed a kiss to Willow's head before sending her on her way and taking a seat.

Inside the office Willow nervously looked for what to do.

"Take a seat wherever you'd like." The therapist analyzed the way the girl stood for a while longer. "How about you sit on the couch?" She suggested, remembering to keep note of the need for order instead of suggestion.

Willow sat down and attempted to take up as little room on the couch as possible. Another note of this was made.

"Why don't you tell me about yourself? Do you have any hobbies?" The therapist asked, sitting in her chair and crossing her legs.

"I – um. I don't know." Willow responded, tapping her index finger to her thumb quickly.

"That's alright. I don't really have a hobby either. Your moms tell me that you have a lot of siblings? That must be fun."

"They're good. I like them." This earned a chuckle from Dr. Reynolds.

"I'm glad to hear that. Do they ever make you feel sad, or like you don't like them though?"

"No. I don't dislike people." Willow responded quickly, chewing her lip unsurely at her outburst.

"Do people make you nervous?" She tried.

"I'm not very good at talking." The girl whispered, her thumb tapping her middle finger now.

"That must be hard since you've started middle school." Willow nodded to this. "Do you like it?"

"I don't want my moms to worry." Willow said quietly, swallowing thickly.

"But they worry more when you get sad like this." Dr. Reynolds said, trying to catch the eyes that have left her's.

"I don't feel like I fit in. No one's mean to me, I just don't like it there." Willow replied, watching her fingers as she tapped her ring finger and pinky, moving to her index once more and repeating the pattern.

"What else bothers you, Willow?"

"The weather man said that there was another small earthquake yesterday. No one could feel it but what if there is a bigger one?"

"It's natural to be scared of that." The doctor reassured.

"It makes my stomach hurt."

"Does your heart start to race too?" Dr. Reynolds asked.

"Yeah. And I feel like someone is sitting on my chest."

"Are you feeling that way now?" A nod was sent back as a response.

"Can I please see my mama?"

"Sure, sweetheart." The therapist rose from her seat and Willow followed, exiting the room and moving into Lexa's arms instantly. The waiting room was empty so Dr. Reynolds sat next to Lexa who was soothing her trembling daughter.

"You okay, Ladybug?" The cop asked, stroking the curls of Willow's head.

"Yeah." The girl said nuzzling in as close as she could to her mama.

"I'm sorry if our conversation made you nervous, Willow. Would you mind telling me what brought this on?" Dr. Reynolds asked, offering an apologetic look to Lexa.

"I just wanted to be close to my mama. Sorry."

"I'm going to let you in on a secret, Will." This caught the girl's attention. "In this place you don't have to apologize for anything. All that you feel and say is valid and there is no reason to feel bad for it." Willow nodded in agreement. "Would you mind if I stole your mom for a moment? Just to ask her a few questions?"

It took five minutes of subtle comfort, but Lexa was finally released, following the doctor into the office.

"Please, take a seat." The cop obliged and sat where her kid once sat and waited for the doctor to speak.

"So Willow and I had a good chat about some of the things that scare us. She said she gets pretty nervous about school and things that happen in the world like earthquakes. Has she ever presented resistance towards school as a little girl or cried during thunderstorms?"

"Until she was about three Willow would cry herself until she was sick if Clarke or I weren't around with her. For her first week of kindergarten we had to stay until naptime and then slip out. After that she would cry until we came back. If there were thunderstorms she would hide in the cupboard a lot."

"How about any prominent fidgeting?"

"Clarke had to force her to stop scratching herself when she was four. I was undercover for three months when it started and Willow scratched her wrist so bad that she nearly required stitches. That's when I returned home and we decided we had to tape her fingernails over so she wouldn't do it anymore."

"Okay, now those things are all apart of her anxiety. Being separated from either of you spikes up the panic inside of her. It's like her brain sends off warning signals to her whole body when that really isn't necessary. Especially with change. If something changes her body instantly loses all sense of practicality. You leaving was a good example. She didn't understand that you still existed therefore making her body require pain to calm her over thinking mind. Entering middle school is the new trigger, however she is coping with it internally. This is causing some major stress on her and her anxiety is getting out of control. I want to say this is hitting the brink of extreme generalized anxiety."

"Okay, define extreme." Lexa said, furrowing her eyebrows at the three big words that were diagnosed to her daughter.

"She dreads for things she can't control. Her overthinking is now making her ill, which is what makes it extreme. Along with that it introduces panic attacks, and social anxiety. Interacting makes her confused and unsure if what she does is appropriate."

"How do we help her?"

"Well, there are medications to help ease her anxiety, primarily aimed at calming her panic attacks. But you and Clarke can start making adjustments at home. When she first entered I offered Willow to take a seat wherever she pleased. She looked frightened at having to make the choice so I directed her instead. You can give her options, but it would make a greater impact if you and your wife tell her what to do instead. She feels less likely to mess up."

"Okay, and how about the fidgeting? She won't harm herself would she?"

"That's hard to say, because it really depends what she is feeling opposed to what she wants to do. Her fidgeting is minor. When her anxiety swells she taps her thumb to her fingers quickly, like a pattern to distract herself. But I really do suggest you find her an activity, primarily physical activities that the athlete preforms on their own terms and not with a team. So soccer, basketball, volleyball. Those type of sports could make her anxiety worse because she has people depending on her. But things like swimming, or track while they are team sports can offer the chance of individual performances. Now I understand she had a breakdown?"

"Friday after school she had a panic attack and could hardly catch her breath for a solid hour. The rest of that evening she slept and when she wasn't sleeping she was panicking and crying. Our eldest twins were bathing the little ones and one of them screamed for us. Willow woke up and thought she was the cause for her siblings needing us, skipping right to not breathing at all and then throwing up. Now if she panics she seems to feel nauseous and turns pale as a sheet."

"Okay, I'm going to prescribe benzodiazepines for those episodes. It's a relaxant and should bring her heart rate, and overall panic down quicker than just naturally doing it. As for the anxiety, I'd like to meet her more times before prescribing something to help her daily. Usually with kids ages 7 to 17 we'd prescribe anti-depressants because they assist in the same department, but we should hold off for now."

"I'm going to need to speak to my wife about the daily medication." The mother said, pondering over all she had heard

"Of course, take your time. I can email you some information on her episode medication, and the anti-depressants along with a summary of what I told you in order to help her in her day to day life." Dr. Renold's said, smiling lightly, "You have a very caring daughter. She over cares to the point of panic, but that's beside the point. She takes the worries of the world over herself in hopes of protecting everyone else. She is one of the most down to earth twelve year olds I have ever met."

"She is, isn't she?" Lexa smiled to herself at the thought of her little girl and all she offered to the world.

"You and your wife must be proud."

"Most definitely. That's why this is so hard. She always seemed so placated and easy going."

"I like to think the most quietest people tend to fear the most because all they ever know is what goes on in their minds. Our thoughts can be the most frightening and degrading part of us. Especially at her age when everything doesn't make sense." Dr. Reynolds knew their time was up but waited for the cop to ask anything else.

"I should be getting Will home. She's not sleeping well and could probably use some rest."

"That's a good idea. Thank you for coming in today." The doctor walked the mother and daughter out of the main door and thanked Willow for their talk before both disappeared towards the elevator.

~.~.~

Clarke arrived home thirty minutes before the kids would be returning from school, already calling to ask if they wanted a ride, which they declined. The blonde dropped her bag and coat by the door and walked further into the quiet house. The living room and kitchen looked un-touch leading her to believe her wife and daughter were upstairs.

She went straight to the master bedroom and found the two fast asleep, Willow sprawled on top of Lexa with her face nuzzled into her mama's neck.

She knew all wasn't right in their household, however for this moment everything seemed to be perfectly calm, and eternally peaceful.

* * *

 **I know, Willow has been a pretty hot topic in this story. Next chapter you get to see the life of one of the other Woods' kids, which is very exciting because I personally adore her (Say what you will but I've built an adoration for these characters and I hope you are all slowly doing that as well). Once more I will be giving you chapter 9 tomorrow morning (so like 5am for me, which is Pacific Time).**

 **Hey, just wanted to let you all know I have a new years resolution (DELAYED BUT WHATEVER) Since season 4 of The 100 has been promised to us and I live in the place that it is filmed (Yes, I live in the beautiful Vancouver that you all see on the show) I'm going to go hunting for our beautiful cast and can hopefully see some sets and locations in the distant future.**

 **Sorry again for the two week break this story is going to have, but I currently have the story on my laptop and it's coming close to 20 chapters already (I'm not even close to finished) so this is not goodbye. There will be more.**

 **Hope you enjoyed :)**

 **-Valentina**


	9. Chapter 9 - Mermaid

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 9  
Mermaid**

Rowen loved the smell of chlorine. She's been surrounded by the scent since she started lessons at the age of four and has become familiar with all its variations.

Yes, there are different varieties of chlorine smells, and the one in her training pool was by far the best.

Her coach, Sandra, was listing off the workouts to the small group of five elites. She was the youngest, the eldest being fifteen. This group was developed five months ago, the bunch being picked from the levels swim team and put together to compete all across America.

She was aiming for gold in her 200 meters distance swim with their up-coming competition but today was stamina workouts, which she truly disliked.

"Okay ladies, curl ups on the pool edge. Get those abs working." The coach instructed, sending them off into the pool.

150 curl ups later, the real work began and Rowen got to work on the fifty assigned laps with no rest. Stamina work, once again, was not her favourite.

She was paddling through her lane, the other girls working in their own as she set their own paces and prepared for the lengthy period. Her strokes became mechanical, the breaststroke being the simplest to fall into and hardly get correction on with the technical aspect of it.

"Keep on breathing, ladies." She could hear as her head tilted for her to gasp in some air before she went back under again.

They were thirty laps in and she was able to see the ripple of water from two of the others go farther behind as they became lazy with their strokes. She was keeping up with fifteen-year-old Katia, and ten year old Olivia.

"Last twenty!" The voice rang out through the pool, giving Rowen her second wind.

She powered through her last laps and finished second to Katia, Olivia coming in 2.3 seconds after her hand reached the pool wall.

"Nice work, ladies. You really powered through. Go get some water." Sandra allowed the girls to get out while she waited for the last two to complete their four laps.

"That was painful." Katia said as she pulled off her cap and shook out her wet ponytail.

"I think I swallowed half of that pool during my twentieth lap." Rowen said, still feeling the sting in her nose from the water she snorted.

"My legs are still numb." Olivia added, taking her water bottle and chugging the chilled liquid. It was a normal thing for the three to complain after a swim they didn't want to do, especially since they finished together and suffered for the same length of time.

Olivia's comment made Katia laugh. "I hope we're finished for today."

"We probably have to do some diving." Rowen said, nodding to the board that one of the assistant coaches was uncovering. It was a low board, but it still forced them to practice their arrow like bodies when hitting the water.

"Great, more water for you to snort." Rowen stuck her tongue out at Olivia but still laughed, peeling off her cap from her wet head.

"Ten minutes left!" The coach called while nine year old Phoebe and eleven year old Yanika joined the group, still out of breath from the swim.

"You guys keep getting faster." Yanika said, taking Rowen's water and taking a sip from it.

"You're welcome." Rowen said sarcastically as she took back the bottle. "And you guys were fine. You just went too hard at the start and killed your energy near the end."

"Either way, Coach won't be using us as her anchor anytime soon." Phoebe said sadly, sitting on the ground and slumping forward.

"You'll be fine. It took me until I was fifteen to get this good. You guys are really young and already part of an elite team. That has to count for something." Katia said, patting the girl's head and walking towards the pool.

The other four took the last bit of their break before going to the board where they were diving, as suspected by Rowen.

"I want to see limited splash. With little resistance means greater speed, and with greater speed means a position as our first leg or anchor. We're taking home gold for the relay girls, I can feel it this time."

"Who's anchoring?" Katia asked, placing her cap back on.

"That is to be determined next practice. I have a pretty solid idea of your positions for the 5x200, but I want to make sure we are placing you all appropriately."

"Are we still doing 200m individual races?" Rowen asked, feeling excitement for her category and the idea of being fast enough to win.

"Yes we are. Phoebe you're in the eight to ten year old category. Yanika and Olivia, you guys are in the eleven to fourteen category, and Katia you are in the fifteen to seventeen category."

"What about me?" Sandra looked to the capped blonde and smiled, knowing she had to speak with her and her mother before announcing anything.

"If either of your moms can swing by today after practice I can inform you then. Everyone on the board."

The girls practiced their diving, parents beginning to enter the pool and watch from the stands. Rowen smiled like a mad man when she saw Lexa come in early, feeling extra special with her mama coming in to watch.

They took twenty minutes of diving, ending in a light swim and then stretch before being dismissed.

"Mama, coach Sandra wants to ask you something." Rowen said when she pulled her towel around herself and walked her mother towards the pool.

"Lexa, how are you?" The coach asked, extending her hand to the other woman.

"I'm good, how about you, Sandra?"

"Just fine. Rowen has been improving drastically lately. This is a very gifted girl in the water. Now I could easily place her in the eight to ten category, guaranteeing a gold win this weekend, but I would like to push her a little bit more." Rowen was a bouncy mess of joy and Lexa was proud as ever. "If I place her in the eleven - fourteen category she's got to really try to keep up with some of the other teams. But I think she can do it."

"Really think so?" Rowen asked, her eyes sparkling with excitement and some water that was still dripping from her face.

"For sure. Now I needed to run this by your mom because there is a little bit more paper work to complete for this upcoming event. Does that sound alright with you, Lexa?"

"Of course. My mermaid, you're going to be so great." The brunette placed a kiss on the chlorine scented head before sending her off to change with the others. "Thank you so much for that, we needed some good news."

"How's the rest of your family?"

"They're alright. Clarke and I are trying to workout our schedule to be there with Row on Saturday."

"You both can't make it this time?" Sandra knew both women always went to the competitions along with the five other kids.

"Willow is going through some things right now. We don't want to overwhelm her with the crowds." Lexa explained.

"I understand. If you don't mind my asking, is she alright health wise?" The woman remembered the twelve year old to be relatively healthy and content, making her ask the question.

"I don't mind. She's fine physically. Mentally she's becoming overwhelmed. That actually reminds me, how does one go about finding a sport for their child who's never shown interest in physical activity?"

"That's a good question. I guess we all have a secret ability. Some are very coordinated, others are swift. Rowen for instance is head strong and driven, and her body seems built to endure the pressures of swimming. If this is Willow we're talking about I'd suggest you head over to the community gym. Ask for Raven Reyes. She's a coach for some of the teenage activities and can give your daughter a quick test trail at a few things. We usually send kids who don't seem prepared to swim to her and she helps direct them to something else. Here's her contact info." Sandra took a moment to jot down the address, phone number, and Raven's name before handing it off to the brunette along with the extra forms for Rowen.

"Thanks for this. We can really see the difference in our children who participate in physical activities."

"What do your eldest do?"

"Jude boxes, and Soph plays volleyball during the school season. She starts practices next week. Last week were tryouts."

"Is Indie still flipping around?" The coach can remember the small girl bouncing around during an enforced workout session outdoors a while back.

"She's getting sillier. Clarke wants to get her into some gymnastic lessons by next year. Hopefully she won't break here neck." This earned a laugh from Sandra as girls began to flood from the change room with still wet hair but clothed in their team sweats.

"Does mommy have dinner ready?" The blonde asked as she approached the pair.

"She texted saying she was getting it started when you guys were out of the pool. Come on, peanut. You still need to rinse out that chlorine ridden head of yours. Bye, Sandra."

"Bye Lexa, bye Rowen. Great work today." The mother and daughter duo left, Lexa's arm slung over Rowen's shoulder as she led her to the car.

"Thank you for coming to watch me for the last bit of practice, Mama."

"Of course, Peanut. You looked awesome." Lexa said, opening the door for Rowen to get in the back.

"You really think so?" The little girl asked, strapping herself into her seat.

"Without a doubt. You were the best mermaid there." This earned a giggle from the blonde. "Hey, you know mom and I really both wanted to see you swim this weekend." The mother said, feeling bad for having either her or Clarke miss.

"Yeah. But Willow gets scared, I can tell. I'm happy you are trying to make her happy again." Rowen chewed her lip before adding, "Sometimes she cries at night. I don't know what to say or do but she seems to be really sad. But since you and mommy are tucking her in and helping her go to bed she doesn't cry anymore."

"I'm sorry she cried before, Row. But you know how whenever you or Fin or Ind get hurt and mom and I sit with you and make sure the injury doesn't hurt anymore before we leave?"

"Yeah."

"Well that's the same with Willow. She isn't physically hurt but a lot of things are making her scared and sad and it's mommy's and my job to fix it before leaving her alone again."

"You and mommy are the best mommies in the world."

"Really?" Lexa asked, glancing at the girl through her rear-view mirror.

"Really. You love us a lot. That makes you really good mommies."

"Well thanks, Peanut. But you know you kids are pretty amazing yourselves."

"Even when we make messes and talk too loudly?" The blonde asked.

"In the moment mom and I may not like those things but we love you all even more because you aren't perfect and you make messes and noise."

"That's confusing." Rowen said, cocking her eyebrow, which made Lexa laugh.

"You'll understand when you're a mom one day." The cop pulled into the drive-way and parked the car. The two got out and headed for the house, Rowen running upstairs to quickly shower before dinner while Lexa entered the kitchen. When she got there she found Clarke standing at the stove, with Willow in the small nook fast asleep.

"She needed more rest. I know you wanted her to stay up but she was exhausted, Lex." Lexa quickly silenced her wife with a kiss.

"It's fine. She's coping." Clarke sighed at her wife's words and leant her forehead against Lexa's.

"I love you." The blonde said after a moment of absolute silence between them.

"I love you too."

* * *

 **Okay, here's chapter 9. I will be in Cuba for the next two weeks, so there won't be an update during that time. I have some more Clexa ideas floating in my mind so I hope to create those while I'm away.**

 **Thanks for all of the wonderful reviews. You are all so kind.**

 **-Valentina**


	10. Chapter 10 - A Family Of Pigs

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 10**  
 **A Family Of Pigs**

The next day everyone had to return to work and school, Willow being the most displeased at this prospect.

Of course she wouldn't dare tell either of her moms as she sluggishly prepared for her day despite her moms many offers of staying home with her or allowing her to join them at work.

Sophie however was very excited about her day (even more so than Rowen) because she was going to finally put her mama's wise words into some good use and face Thomas after the terrible hallway encounter. She double-checked her hair in the mirror because, despite her moms telling her that how she looked should not effect how a boy or anyone feels about her, she wanted to look good for him.

"Bathroom Hog, get out!" Jude said, banging a fist on the door again. He had yet to shower and his twin was taking way too long this morning.

"Why you calling the bathroom a hog?" Finlay asked behind his brother, his half eaten banana still at hand as he chewed through a bite. His spider man pajamas were sticky with breakfast food residue.

"I'm not calling the bathroom a hog, Fin. I'm calling our sister a hog." Jude explained, crouching by the little blonde.

"But hogs are pigs. And pigs aren't people."

"Well some of the people in this house are." The older boy explained, winking at Finlay who giggled at the idea of having hogs for family members.

"Okay!" He said, running from the top floor to head back downstairs to tell his moms of this new found information.

The four year old went into the busy kitchen and laughed behind Lexa who stood at the sink.

"Mama, you're a pig!" He declared, Indie catching the word immediately and snorting like a piglet to make a point for her brother. Both Clarke and Lexa stopped what they were doing to glance at one another. Lexa took her gaze down to the small boy and raised a questioning eyebrow.

"I'm a what?" She asked him, holding back a laugh.

"A pig! So is mommy! I have pig mommies." He said proudly, taking another bite from his banana.

"Do you now?" Clarke asked from her place at the table, trying to gather up used dishes and food scrapes.

"Mmh-hmm. Pig mommies. Jude said so." Both women nodded in understanding, snickering to one another while Jude gleamed at his knowledge. He was so happy he didn't even mind the fact that Zorro took a nice chunk of his banana, leaving him with a little bit still in the peel.

"Well Lex, since we're pigs I guess we have to talk like them too." Clarke said, turning to Indie. She oinked at the toddler and poked the chubby feet, making Indie squawk a reply like a bird.

The mothers went around, bumping hips with one another and oinking silly sounds while Finlay copied them and chased Zorro. Indie squealed and oinked as well from her place. Rowen who sat at the table watching all of this laughed endlessly, tears coming to her eyes at just how ridiculous this bunch was.

These shenanigans went on long enough for Jude and Sophie to come downstairs arguing. One teenager bathed and ready for the day, the other still pajama cladded and angry with his twin.

They both stopped when they say what was going on. Jude groaned when he realized what Finlay had done.

"Hey Mama, you do realize that if you are a pig then you shouldn't eat bacon." The teenager pointed out, his mother freezing with the bacon and glancing at it for a moment. The brunette shrugged before taking a second bite.

"I didn't like the lack of communication your mom and I had when we were pigs anyways." She said, earning a laugh from the teen.

"Hey, we were communicating just fine. I understood what all your oinks meant." Clarke argued, wiping peanut butter off of Indie's face.

"Sure you did, honey. That's why you began to wipe off the table when I asked you too s-t-r-i-p-e." The woman spelt out the word too quickly for the three youngest kids to catch, but just slow enough for Jude and Sophie to unintentionally piece together.

"Eww!"

"Gross moms!" The both exclaimed in unison, going different directions. Clarke and Lexa laughed, kissing one another as they passed on their way to the sink and fridge.

Clarke joined Lexa back at the sink after dropping off the egg cartoon in the fridge and leant in close to whisper to her wife, "I can s-t-r-i-p-e for you tonight. Where there a no kids to say how gross it is." The blonde kissed the place by Lexa's ear and left her with that, taking Finlay and Indie to get changed and cleaned from the messy breakfast.

"Mama, you're blushing." Rowen said when the cop turned to watch Clarke leave the kitchen.

"Eat you berries, kid." Lexa replied, laughing when Rowen groaned and rolled her eyes. She may be Clarke's biological daughter, but that little girl had just about as much attitude as Lexa did.

~.~.~

Sophie nervously chewed her lip as she looked over at Thomas. The boy was dressed in his track gear and had a group of team mates surrounding him, all laughing and speaking about their after school practice in twenty minutes.

The bell had gone five minute ago indicating the end of the day, so Sophie shot a text her brother's way asking him to walk the little kids home without her.

Trikru daycare, elementary, middle, and high school were all on the same ground, allowing the kids easy access to one another. Sophie knew her brother was capable of meeting Willow and Rowen at the regular spot before swinging by the little kids classes to fetch them.

The brunette knew very well that the group of runners wouldn't leave individually. She would have to ask to speak to Thomas, or get him to ask her to talk. Either way her first goal was to get him to speak to her alone.

She began to walk down the hall that she avoided ever since their first talk and mishap. Before she could stop before the group Thomas grabbed her attention.

"Hey, Soph! Where've you been?" He asked, leaving the group as they went their own way to the gym.

"Oh, you know. All over school. It's pretty busy with year book prep and volleyball." She replied, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"I thought you were trying to avoid me." He said, his hazel eyes shining in the sun that ran stream through the hallway window.

"What? No way." Total lie and she knew it. At least he didn't catch on to her fib and nodded.

"Good. I was just about to head to the gym. Do you mind walking with me?"

"Not at all. How's the start of the season?" She asked as they began to walk, Thomas shoving his hands into his pockets as he shook some curls from his head.

"It's good. Our relay races are solid gold. We're aiming to compete in the state wide school track meet in early December."

"That's awesome. You know, you guys should let me take some pictures of you during some of your practices for the yearbook. If you win the competition I can give you a whole two pages on track alone." This earned a laugh from Thomas who held the door open for Sophie.

"That's an even greater reason to win the race. Who doesn't want two pages in year book?"

"Exactly!" Both laughed and continue in silence for a moment before Thomas turned to the girl nervously.

"I was wondering…" Sophie looked to him, the sun now reflecting off of her blue eyes making them even bluer than before. "Would you, I don't know-"

"THOMAS! COME ON DUDE ASK HER OUT AND LET'S GO!" Thomas turned to face his teammate who stood at the door of the gym, waving his arm crazily. Both teens blushed insanely, Thomas looking down to his feet as he laughed nervously.

Sophie chewed her lip for a moment before catching his eyes. He laughed lightly again, reaching a hand up to rub the back of his neck before finally asking, "Would you like to go out on a date with me?"

Without any nervous stuttering, or embarrassing things happen to either of the teens, Sophie smiled and nodded her head. "I'd like that a lot."

"Cool. So, are you free this Saturday?"

"My little sister has a swimming competition until three, but I'm free afterwards."

"Would it be weird if I went with you to watch and then took you out from there?"

"Not at all. You're totally welcomed. My sister is a killer swimmer, so it's not some kiddy meet." Sophie said, earning a large grin from the blonde. "You can meet me at the Sonraun Track and Pool. The meet starts at one."

"Perfect. I can't wait. I'll text you after my practice."

"Sounds great." The two said goodbye and began to walk different directions. When out of earshot, Sophie began to squeal like a little girl and skipped home, thinking her day could not get any better.

However, it did when she entered the house and heard conversations in the kitchen, primarily the voice of her favourite aunt.

"AUNT OCTAVIA!" She said excitedly, running in to find her aunt and uncle sitting at the kitchen table with the rest of her siblings.

"There she is." Lincoln said, standing up with Indie in his arms to greet their niece.

"Hi, sweetie." Octavia wrapped the brunette in an embrace and allowed her husband to do the same before leading the teen to one of the seats at the table.

"When did you guys get back?" Sophie asked.

"A few hours ago. How was school?"

"Oh schools, school. Tell me how was India, Mexico, Egypt, China-" Both adults laughed at the rush of locations they had visited on their month long vacation.

Octavia and Lincoln ran through a majority of their activities, explaining the villages they visited, the children they had met, and all the stray dogs they began to send back to their shelter.

Octavia and Lincoln owned two businesses. One was a gym for martial arts and cross fit, the other was an animal shelter where they took stray dogs from around the world and raised them back to health before finding them new homes.

"Did you bring us back another puppy?" Finlay asked. Their Aunt and Uncle had found Zorro as a little puppy, stuck under a house in Texas when they went searching for stray dogs and cats before a huge tornado was said to hit. A few weeks after medicine and much needed love, the golden retriever needed a home, so without the mothers' permission, Octavia and Lincoln brought the puppy over and gave it to the kids for Christmas.

"Not this time, buddy. Besides what would your moms say?" Lincoln asked, laughing when the little boy shrugged.

"I dunno. They're pigs." He said, earning strange looks from his aunt and uncle.

"Long story." Jude said with a groan.

* * *

 **I'm back! Spoiler alert but I was writing an upcoming chapter (roughly ten - fifteen more chapters from now) and I was crying because oh my god the feels and I'm just going to say sorry in advanced for what I'm going to do.**

 **I'll give you guys the next chapter tomorrow :)**

 **-Valentina**


	11. Chapter 11 - We're All A Little Broken

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 11  
We're All A Little Broken**

Lexa and Clarke arrived home at six, still lacking with the knowledge that their best friends had returned and were helping the kids make Indian food for dinner.

The smell of the house gave away the fact that the kids weren't home alone, and the extra shoes at the door were a good hint at who it was.

"MMIES!" Indie said with excitement, running to greet both women. Clarke scooped up the toddler and walked with Lexa to the kitchen.

"O!" Lexa said, running to embrace her "sister". Clarke went to greet Lincoln who was tending to the butter chicken.

Octavia and Lexa grew up in the same group home when they were little. At the age of three Lexa's parents were killed on the job leaving her with no one to care for her. No grandparents or aunts or uncles. She became a ward of the state and was sent to a foster home. Her first home lasted a year until the family had to move due to a job relocation. The four year old was then sent to a new home where the parents only wanted the monthly cheque and not the burden of taking care of Lexa. The little girl was starved, un bathed, and left for dead until a social worker came to check on the four year old who was not attending her first week of kindergarten. Five months of little food and care led to Lexa staying in a hospital for two months before being left in a group home.

At five years old, Lexa met Octavia who was the same age and had come in after her single mom couldn't stand raising her any longer. The two little girls became close friends in the group home and grew together, luckily never being separated since the social worker was struggling to place other kids before them.

At sixteen years old the girls were the third and fourth oldest in the group home, requiring them to take some control and help take care of the younger kids. Two months after her birthday, Lexa was taken to a new foster home, forcing the two "sisters" to be separated. At the home Lexa was mistreated, beat, and raped by the parents and their friends.

Octavia snuck the house information away from their social worker and managed to call the foster family of Lexa, hoping her sister would answer. Thankfully Lexa was forced to pick up the phone and broke down when she heard who was on the other line. Octavia instantly ran to find the adult supervisor of the group home and forced them to listen to Lexa who re-illiterate what had happened before someone screamed at her and began to beat her for telling the group home what they did. Octavia heard the whole thing and begged them to bring her back. As a way to avoid lawsuits, the social worker took Lexa and left the foster family alone, sending the brunette back to the group home.

The girl became suicidal, and thought she had nothing left in life for her. She had no parents and no one that loved her. She believed no one could ever love her after her body was used for someone else's pleasure.

Octavia helped her though, and kept her alive. Encouraging her to dive into her school work and aim for a big name school since the state had to compensate her for the atrocities she encountered in the group home.

The girls finally graduated, Octavia going UCLA for business classes while Lexa went to Harvard to study social and criminal justice. However, she knew the legacy of her parents as police officers and finished her education early so she could train to be just like them.

The two girls remained close, Octavia being her maid of honor when Lexa and Clarke got married. Clarke was forever grateful to Octavia for leading her wife to her and for being there when Lexa struggled to cope.

"Wait check for any extra dogs. We can never trust these two with our kids." Clarke said, looking to Zorro who sat alone.

"Be nice. We only give them dogs for special occasions." Octavia said, hugging the blonde.

"We did get a large group of dogs though. If any of the kids want to swing by to help us on the weekend that'd be great." Lincoln said, leaning against the counter.

"Sure. Saturday after Rowen's swim meet we can leave them at the shelter." Clarke said, placing a kiss on Indie's cheek before placing her on the ground.

"I can't make it." Sophie said, moving to set the table.

"And why's that?" Lexa asked, turning to her daughter. The teen began to blush uncontrollably.

"Thomas asked me out on a date."

"Nice." Octavia said, knowing all about Thomas due to the endless conversations she's had with Sophie about him. The two high fived as they passed while Lexa and Clarke smiled.

"I'd like to meet him before hand, Soph." Clarke said, taking the cups from her to fill with water.

"Sure. Is it cool that I invited him to watch the swim meet before we go out?"

"Yeah, that's fine. We're all going to be there anyway." Lexa said, turning to Octavia. "Can you make it to that?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world. Right Linc?"

"For sure. Our mermaid is going to crush it." The man said, going back to the food.

"Okay, can we eat now?" Jude asked, standing from the nook to look at the food.

"If you want food poisoning, sure." Octavia agreed, ruffling his hair.

"But it smells so good!" The teenager groaned.

"Where's Willow?" Lexa asked after a moment, looking to all her kids except for one.

"Upstairs. Why?" Lincoln asked, checking on the rice machine. Clarke sighed before rubbing her face, Lexa reaching to rub her wife's neck before answering.

"It's been a hard week. She just isn't okay right now, and if she's upstairs it probably means she's overwhelmed."

"I can't shake this feeling that she's going to do something. Like I'm constantly worried for her safety now." Clarke said, chewing her lip. Sophie noticed the tense conversation and led the little ones to the yard to play.

"Have you taken her to see someone?" Lincoln asked, taking a seat.

"I went with her to a therapist yesterday. She's got a lot of anxiety and pent up emotions that we need to sort out." Lexa said.

"I thought Willow was okay." Octavia said, feeling concern consume her.

"She's not, O. We're really trying to figure this out but it hasn't even been a week and we're already losing control."

"Hey. Don't give up yet. I never gave up on you, Lex. And you were even more destroyed than she was. People need time, and you have got to give it to her."

"We would never give up on, Will. She's our little girl. I just hate not being able to help her like we were when she was a baby."

The front door slammed shut scaring the adults in the kitchen. Clarke glanced back at the yard and saw her five kids, knowing very well the only person left in the house has actually run.

"Lex, that's Will!" The blonde said, rising up quickly. The four adults ran to the front door, Lexa making it there first and looking both ways to find her daughter running at a dead sprint down the block.

Without a second thought she began to run as well, calling Willow as loud as possible while the little girl kept a large distance between herself and her mother.

How did her kid ever get so quick? She was a trained cop and she couldn't even catch up.

"Willow! Please, stop!" She cried out, not letting up quite yet.

Willow was crying up ahead, her breathing running wild while her heart was shaking in her chest. But for some reason the sprinting felt good. The streets never ended and her legs burned with a pain she was unfamiliar with. But it was good pain compared to the one she always felt. It was a welcomed pain.

They covered a solid fifteen blocks until Willow lost her footing and went down, scraping her knees and forearm in the process.

Lexa made it to the crying girl and crouched by her, pulling the girl into her arms.

"Shh, you're okay. It's okay."

"Y-you said you were giving u-up on m-me." Willow sobbed out, trying to push Lexa way.

"No, no. Baby, I would never say that. I said I was scared because I don't know how to help you. I could never give up on you."

"But I'm broken."

"I was broken too, once. We all break a little at some point. But you are not and never will be broken enough for me to give up on you." Willow shook her head before Lexa took her face in her hands and kept their eyes locked. "Never ever, baby girl."

"Promise?" She finally asked.

"I promise." Lexa placed a kiss on Willow's forehead, pulling her back into a hug.

"Can I give you two a ride?" Lincoln asked, pulling up in his car.

"Come on, ladybug. Let's go home and get you cleaned up." The mother led her daughter to the back seat and sat with her, running her fingers through her hair.

"You okay back there, Will?" Lincoln asked, glancing through the rearview mirror.

"Yeah." The girl replied, wiping her cheeks with her hand.

When they pulled up to the driveway, Clarke tore the back door open, crouching by the seat and placing a hand on her daughter's head.

"You're okay. Thank god you're okay."

"They got a whole fifteen blocks away." Lincoln said climbing from the car and taking Octavia into his side.

"Well someone sure does got some speed on her." Octavia said.

"She could've gone farther. She tripped." Lexa explained, wrapping her arm around Willow and beginning to lead the group inside.

"Does anything hurt, ladybug?" Clarke asked when they shut the door, Octavia quietly locking it with both locks so then it would take Willow a longer time to leave next time.

"Not really." She said.

"She scraped her knees." Lexa said after her, nodding down to the pajama short cladded girl.

"Come on, let's go get cleaned up. You guys start dinner without us." Clarke said, nodding the group to leave while taking Willow upstairs. "Wanna tell me why you ran?" Clarke asked, patting the bathroom counter, which the girl sat on.

"I heard you, mama, aunt Tavia and uncle Lincoln talking. I felt bad for making you and mama sad, so I ran because I got nervous." Willow explained.

"Sweetheart, mama and I can take care of ourselves. We can't stand the thought of you leaving or getting hurt though. What you did was really dangerous." The blonde said, carefully wiping at the bloodied knees of her kid.

"I'm sorry." Willow whispered, looking down at her lap in shame.

"Hey," Clarke stopped what she was doing and tipped the brunette's head back up. "Are you apologizing for running, or for feeling the way you felt?"

"Both."

"The only thing I want to hear you apologize for is running away. Feeling what you feel is," Clarke sighed slight, "is part of our new normal. We all have to work together to figure this out, ladybug. But you never have to apologize for feeling anything."

"I didn't want to run, but in the moment it was all I could do." Willow said, furrowing her eyebrows. "Does that make sense?"

"Yes, and it's something we have to work on. It's just another tick of yours. But mama and I won't stop loving you and we'd chase you to the ends of the earth before letting you slip from our fingers." The doctor returned to her cleaning, taking Willow's arm before they spoke again. "You got pretty far. Just how fast did you make your poor mama run?" Willow shrugged at her mother's question.

"It wasn't hard. I just had to move my feet." The girl explained.

"Well, you're pretty good at it, ladybug." A large Band-Aid was placed on the largest part of the scrape along with two smaller ones. "Come on my little girl. Let's go eat some dinner." The mother and daughter exited the bathroom, returning to the main floor where voices and people bustled around with dinner set on the table.

* * *

 **I hope you all enjoyed chapter 11! I'll put chapter 12 up tomorrow but I won't be able to update this weekend because I have a regatta (rowing race). I hope you all understand.**

 **-Valentina**


	12. Chapter 12 - We Can't Have Nice Things

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 12  
We Can't Have Nice Things**

The adults sat in the living room, having already sent the kids off to bed except for Indie who clung to Lincoln and used his large chest as a sleeping area as he was leaning against the single seat.

Clarke was rested between Lexa's legs as the sprawled out on the couch and Octavia sat in the seat Lincoln rested against, running her fingers over his short cut hair.

"Look at that poor little head." Octavia said, looking at the stitches holding the pale skin together.

"She won't need those stitches by this weekend." Clarke remarked, cuddling closer into her wife.

"Does that mean another trip to the hospital?" The woman asked disgruntled, feeling no desire to go into an emergency room for a long while.

"No, I can take them out myself. She would probably scream but it doesn't hurt at all. It's just uncomfortable."

"I'd take screaming at home over screaming in an ER any day." Lexa replied.

"I think any rational person would." Octavia added, laughing at her sister's previous words.

"It's so weird how the kids have been in school for close to a month. They area already so busy." Lincoln remarked, twirling one of Indie's curls.

"You know them well enough to understand that there is no such thing as free time. They constantly want to be doing something." Clarke said.

"Speaking of kids," Lexa began.

"Were we really though?" Octavia questioned.

"Did you visit those orphanages we told you to swing by when you were travelling?"

"Lex, come on. We're 40 and 42. Kids are just not an option."

"Come on O, Clarke and I had our last one two years ago. There's no such thing as too old to raise someone to be great." Lexa pointed out.

"There is such thing as having too many dogs to train and care for before adoption periods." Lincoln offered, his wife nodding in agreement.

"We have to get all of them ready for their new homes." Octavia said, making the women opposite of her sigh.

"You guys always have an excuse." Clarke said.

"Sorry, guys. But you have enough kids to go around anyways." The brunette replied, Lexa sticking her tongue out in response. However, the woman knew there was only so much convincing that could be done with her sister. Octavia was always fearful of raising a child that could one day wind up being orphaned like she was. It wasn't that she doubted her ability to love. It was that she doubted her ability to promise a lifetime when she could be taken at any moment much like Lexa's parents were.

~.~.~

When Clarke and Lexa returned from work on Friday they knew the inevitable awaited them. Their littlest one needed to get her stitches removed and Clarke had all the supplies ready to do so, including some ear buds since there was a likely chance that Indie would scream from fear.

"Okay Ind, this doesn't hurt at all. Look Mama is going to hold you." Clarke had set up Indie over Lexa's chest and did a quick cleaning of the stitches. Only the last one scabbed slightly but it wasn't anything new that she hadn't dealt with before.

"I'm just going to grab one more thing. Hold tight, itty bitty." The doctor placed a kiss over her little girl's nose and ran upstairs, heading for the room Finlay sat in. She ruffled his hair and took Indie's bunny from the crib, preparing to go back down. Before she got to the stairs the blonde detoured into the room of Rowen and Willow and smiled at her girls.

Rowen was doing some stretches as per usual before a completion while Willow sat in the corner of her bed with her legs drawn up and her eyes shut. This was her peaceful moment and the mother didn't want that ruined.

"Hi, Peanut." She addressed the youngest first, taking the tablet and headphones from the desk near Willow and heading for the older girl. "Hi, Ladybug. So I'm not sure how Ind will feel when I take out her stitches but if she makes a lot of noise I don't want you to feel anxious. How about you try some of the relaxing music that Dr. Renold's suggested?"

Willow took a moment to reply but finally nodded, taking the tablet from her mom and turning up the volume for her relaxation playlist before placing the headphones on. "Thank you."

"Mama and I will be downstairs girls." The woman said before leaving.

Once downstairs Clarke took the medical scissors and the tweezers she had on the coffee table and had Lexa hold Indie tighter when the small girl withered away from the scary looking tools.

"It doesn't hurt, Ind. Shh." Lexa said gently, drawing her right hand through the small pieces of hair on the back of Indie's neck. Clarke snipped the first stitch and got it out with a swift tug from the tweezers. She moved on to the next one and managed to get four out of five of them out before the last stitch sat there with small scabbing around it. The blonde snipped it and began to tug, finding it harder than usual.

"No, mmy." Indie said, moving to push Clarke's hand away.

"Let mommy do it." Lexa said, taking the girl's hand back.

"This might hurt." The doctor warned, picking at the scape with the tweezers. She pulled it slightly earning a whimper from Indie and then finally picked it off, which got a loud cry in response.

"Don't cry, I'm sorry. Mommy's all done." Clarke said placing a small tissue over the slightly bleeding scab and bending over to pepper the little face with kisses.

"Owie." She toddler replied, sniffling through her tears.

"Yeah, baby. You got an owie." Lexa affirmed, sitting up a little more with the girl.

"How can mama and I make you feel better?" Clarke asked.

"Cookies." Indie replied, bringing her thumb up to her mouth. Lexa laughed and looked to her wife who was always to cookie maker in the house.

"Cookies it is. Let's go make them now, itty bitty." Clarke reached forward and took Indie off of Lexa's chest, holding her close as they went to the kitchen.

"I've got the eggs and butter." Lexa said, going for the fridge as Clarke sat Indie in her chair by the counter and placed the mixer close to her so she could watch. Having memorized the recipe for the Woods' favourite chocolate chip cookies, Clarke began to blend the butter and sugar, giving off a laugh at the stamped of feet rushing down the stairs at the sound of mixer.

"What're you baking?" Jude asked as Sophie, Rowen, and Finlay came around the corner to see the treat they were going to be getting. Lexa scooped up Finlay so he could watch what was being mixed and leant against the counter.

"Chocolate chip cookies of course. Indie here was such a good patient that I had to make her something."

"Good job, Ind." Sophie pressed a kiss to the toddler's cheek.

"You know they won't be ready for at least twenty minutes." Lexa reminded, laughing as the older kids moved like vultures hunting for the dough.

"We know. It's just nice to be with all of you." Jude said innocently, although it was clear where a good portion of the cookie dough would go once Clarke stopped mixing everything. Luckily she knew to triple the recipe.

The blonde added the last few ingredients and got two baking sheets ready to start putting the cookies in the oven.

As suspected when the machine went off the older kids pounced, taking chunks of the dough and eating it like a child eating candy for the first time.

"Do you know how unhealthy that is?" The doctor in Clarke asked, looking to her wife with a glare as Lexa split a ball of dough with Finlay.

"Please, no one ever gets sick from the raw egg in that." Lexa said with a shrug, smugly eating her treat.

"Tell that to the people who come into the ER every so often from contracting salmonella because they ate things with raw egg in it. Plus, don't think I've forgotten about that time you got sick when we were dating."

"I got a stomach bug." Lexa argued.

"You threw up for three weeks because you ate a whole roll of Pillsbury cookie dough."

"That may have contributed but it was something else."

"Sure it was." The blonde giggled at her wife, feeling like she was in University again and the woman before her was a new adventure waiting to happen.

~.~.~

Lexa had run upstairs to grab Willow while the family retired to the living room. Sophie held the warm cookies while Jude ran all over the house to gather blankets and pillows.

"Family fort and movie. We have to make it a good one this time." Clarke said, holding Indie on one hip and Finlay on the other.

"Yeah unlike last time when it fell on us." Sophie said, placing the cookies by the TV so then she could help build the structure.

"That was scary." Finlay said, patting his mom's shoulder.

"Yes it was, Fin. I promise no more mistakes like that." The blonde placed her son down while Indie clung to her, a small hand holding onto the ends of the adult's hair.

"Okay, let's get this party started." Lexa said, entering the room with Willow close behind.

"I've got the chairs." Sophie stated, setting up the shape and helping her twin with the large load of blankets.

"Quick re-run of tomorrow's plans." Lexa said as she took Indie from her wife and cooed at the toddler.

"Swim meet." Rowen said proudly.

"Which we will all attend." Clarke stated, looking to her wife and twelve year old for reassurance.

"Really?" Rowen asked excitedly. Willow nodded nervously and sat on the couch, feeling slightly exhausted from the commotion.

"Half way through I have to take Willow to the track field next to the pool where she'll be meeting with Raven. Will's going to be trying to find a sport for the last hour and half of your meet so I'm going to stay with her." Clarke said, earning a nod from Rowen.

"That's fine, I should be done with my races by then. I hope you find something fun to do." The blonde said to her sister, earning the same nod as before.

"After sports what do we have?" Lexa threw some pillows onto the floor before they built the top of the shelter.

"I've got my date with Thomas." Sophie said, a slight blush coming to her face at the thought. "He and I will head out from the pool."

"Okay, and the rest of you get to be with your aunt and uncle for a few hours to help out with the new rescues so please be good, and don't let Ind tug any tails." Clarke requested, making Jude laugh since he would be in charge of the four younger kids.

"What are you and mama going to do?" Willow asked, tapping her fingers, which Clarke caught onto quickly.

"We have to come home and do some cleaning and tax stuff. It's going to be no fun here." The blonde said, approaching the girl on the couch and crouching before her. Everyone was busy around them, giving the mother a chance to calm her daughter. "If you don't feel good tomorrow you don't have to go but Aunt Tavia and Uncle Lincoln will be there and they know what to do. It's just the dogs and you guys. There are only a few other people who are helping but that's it. No big crowds."

"Do I have to do the sport thing tomorrow?"

"Mama and I don't want to force you to do anything, ladybug. It's not our place to make you kids do things you don't want to, but we do know what's best and mama and I talked long about what would be the greatest option for you. The medicine that your therapist wants you to take could make you feel extra lousy and we don't want that. We want to try everything else before we try that. So why don't you try to find something that makes you feel good tomorrow and if you don't we can try other things later?"

"What if I mess up?" Clarke sighed and looked behind herself, knowing Lexa would be great help in this private conversation. The blonde tucked some hair behind Willow's ear and cupped her cheek.

"Life is full of mistakes and mess ups. I know you feel like it's a bad thing to mess up, but it really isn't. But I also know that I can tell you that a thousand times and it won't make you feel any better, so why don't we try this instead: If you can just feel like whatever sport Raven has you try won't be good then you can ask her to try something else. You can say that you aren't ready to give it a go yet. If she gives you a soccer ball and says kick it into a net, and you can just feel like you can't, then you ask her to try something else and then maybe, if you're feeling up to it, you can try to kick the ball later."

"Okay," Willow nodded with her agreement, sighing out a shaky breath. "I want to help Aunt Tavia and Uncle Lincoln though. I like the dogs."

"Good. Just don't go bringing any home." The mother warned, rising and offering her hand. "Let's get into that fort."

The family all snuggled into the safety of their fort, the TV screen being framed by the entrance, and allowing them to watch their movie.

Zorro sat in the corner, eyeing the plate of cookies, which he wasn't allowed to have.

"Vie?" Indie asked Lexa, pointing to the screen with her pudgy finger.

"Yes, rascal. Movie." The brunette said, peppering the baby's cheeks with kisses.

"Fin, book away. Your eyes can get hurt if you read in this light." Clarke warned, watching her four-year-old sigh like a dramatic teenager before shutting his book and looking to the movie.

"He gets that from you." Lexa teased, making Clarke stick her tongue out as a reply.

"Moms. Shh. The movie is starting." Rowen said, laughing when Lexa prodded her side with her toes to tickle her.

"Watching a movie in this family is impossible." Sophie said, shuffling out of reach of her moms so neither could tickle her.

"For real Soph, if you bring this fort down I will disown you as a twin." Jude warned when one of the chairs shifted from his sister's movement.

"Calm down, it won't come down." Sophie responded. A siren went by outside, making everyone perk up to the passing noise.

"Zorro, no." Lexa warned, eyeing the golden retriever. He ignored his master and barked loudly, moving too quickly and running from the fort to look out the window. As he ran the fort moved some more, a blanket falling from one end, which created a domino effect and brought the rest down with it.

Clarke sighed and rolled her eyes in their new dark surroundings, ignoring Lexa's laugh due to the fact that Finaly does get it from her before she said, "This is why we can't have nice things."

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter :)**

 **-Valentina**


	13. Chapter 13 - Star Athletes

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 13  
Star Athletes **

Saturday found the Woods family once again, Lexa and Clarke snuggled deep in their bed as their limbs slipped around each other in a mess of warmth. Lexa woke up before their 9:30 alarm, placing kisses along Clarke's collarbone as a way to rouse her wife from her slumber.

"Lex, that tickles." The blonde said past a giggle, keeping her eyes shut as she reached to stop her wife.

"Good morning, gorgeous." Lexa said, moving the kisses up her neck and towards the pink lips she was attached to the previous night.

"Good morning. Last night was fun." Clarke mentioned, drawing her fingernails up and down her wife's bare sides.

"Do you mean the fiasco downstairs or our own little party up here?" Lexa asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"I just love re-building a shelter five times, and then dragging our sleeping kids back upstairs." The woman responded, earning a laugh from her wife.

"At least you had to only wake up Jude, and Soph. I had to literally carry the other four upstairs." Lexa said in dismay. "I'm still sore."

"Are you sure you aren't sore from our so called party?"

"Shut up, Woods." Lexa replied, kissing Clarke once more and deepening their kiss before the blonde stopped them once more.

"As hot as morning sex would be, we have a swim meet to get to. Plus, we have the whole afternoon to ourselves."

"I just love you – so – very – much." Lexa pressed a kiss to her wife between her last few words before she was forced onto her back. Her naked beauty straddled her and leant forward, bringing their faces only inches apart.

"I love you too."

~.~.~

The Woods family entered the pool, Sophie running off to find Thomas while Rowen went to prepare. Clarke had Willow close to her side, and Lexa had Indie in her arms while Jude took Finlay to explore.

"So she's the first leg of the five person relay, which is the first event. And then we have to wait for the first group of swimmers in the 200m individuals until she goes again with the eleven to fourteen age category." Lexa explained as they looked to the pool where girls were warming up.

Octavia and Lincoln entered five minutes after their family's arrival and waved to the capped blonde before going to the bleachers. Sophie saw the whole clan, minus her brothers and took this opportunity to introduce Thomas.

"Moms, Aunt Tavia, Uncle Lincoln, this is Thomas." She said when they approached; hoping the adults would keep any embarrassing remarks to themselves.

"Thomas, those are my moms, my aunt Octavia, and my uncle Lincoln. And of course my two out of three of my sisters, Willow and Indie."

"Hi Thomas, it's nice to meet you." Clarke said, extending her hand to the boy.

"You too, Mrs. Woods." He said kindly, reaching out to shake Lexa's hand as well.

"I'd suggest you call us by our first names, since Mrs. Woods' may get confusing. I'm Lexa and that's Clarke." The cop said.

"Nice to meet you, Lexa." He moved on to say hello to the aunt and uncle of the girl he had a crush on before waving to Willow and cooing to Indie.

"I thought you had more siblings." He said, looking at the large group of people.

"I do. Jude as you know, and Finlay are over there." Sophie pointed to distant group of people. "And Rowen is one of the girls in that group of swimmers in the black swimsuits with the silver line."

"Soph has spoken a lot about you." Octavia said, grinning like a mad man when she found a way to finally embarrass her niece.

"Does she now?" Thomas asked, smiling at the groaning girl beside him.

"Oh yes, you've become a hot topic in that house." Octavia continued.

"Aunt O, please stop." Sophie said as the group laughed.

"I'm only teasing." The brunette said dismissively, heading off to the bleachers with Lincoln close behind.

"May I kill my Aunt?" Sophie asked Clarke, who laughed.

"No, you love her." The mother responded, taking Willow to sit when she felt the girl tug closer to her side when the pool became louder.

"So how's track season, Thomas?" Lexa asked, knowing the boy ran due to her daughter mentioning it a few days ago.

"It's great. We've got a pretty nice shot at making it to the state wide meet in December."

"That's good to hear. So I'm guessing the training is pretty intense now?" Lexa, Thomas, and Sophie sat with the family and waited for the swimming to begin.

"For sure. Our Coach is killing us with extra training and diet plans." Thomas explained.

"It'll all be worth it if you guys make it through to December." Sophie piped up.

"Yeah, we could get offered scholarships, cash prizes, and the chance to compete in worldwide competitions at the start of February."

"Well I wish you the best of luck." Lexa said with a smile, allowing Indie to crawl to her mommy who was right beside them with Willow between herself and Octavia.

"Thank you." Thomas said with his classic grin.

The sound system of the pool sounded with the announcement of the first relay event, the girls getting into their orders as they stretched last minute and adjusted their caps and suits.

"Willow's the first leg." Sophie said to Thomas as they watched the small girl climb onto the diving board and fix her goggles over her eyes.

Rowen glanced to her family and smiled before her "focused face" fixed over lips and eyes and she felt her surroundings as her preparation. Her toes wiggled on the board and rubbed against the rough surface, which prevented her from slipping. Her fingers stretched and clenched three times and she twisted her neck back and forth while her shoulders rolled.

She was ready to take this first leg position with a killer time.

Five schools were lined in order, all first legs ready to swim when the announcer called them to their attention position.

Rowen stepped back against the footplate on the board and gripped the edge before her, nodding her head to her heartbeat.

"GO!" The announcer said, Rowen diving forward and allowing herself to arrow dive like they were taught. She hit the water and instantly moved to the surface, kicking herself into a breaststroke and taking a deep breath when her head came.

Living up to the fish name, the family mermaid kicked her way to the first place position in less than ten seconds, making enough space between herself and her competitors so then she could ensure some balance when the other swimmers went.

"GO ROWEN!" The sound rang out when her ear came up slightly. The sound made her kick harder and move faster, meeting the wall and easily sliding into a roll before kicking off of it.

She finished the distance and tapped the wall, the second leg diving over her and beginning their swim while the others caught up and began to send their swimmers off a solid 8.75 seconds after.

"Nice, you did great out there champ." Sandra said, tugging the girl from the water and patting her back.

"Did I beat my time?" Rowen asked, looking the clipboard of her coach.

"0.04 seconds off from beating it. Maybe in your 200 meter piece you'll get it." Sandra said, reassuring the girl that she still had time.

The rest of her team swam, Katia taking the anchor position and making up for lost time.

Their team finished first, earning them each a gold medal during the awarding later.

200 meter individuals began thirty minutes later, Rowen's group going in to race twenty minutes after the eight to ten year old category.

Once more Rowen went over her pre swim motions and allowed the sounds to wash away before she was called to go.

The sound of the pool consumed her before the water swallowed her and she began to swim with all her might.

"Think gold" was all that was coursing through her mind as she kicked and pulled herself through the blue chlorine scented water.

The wall arrived and she tucked, making her small body an asset to prevent a decrease in speed. As she was rotated, she forgot to force water out of her nose and felt it crawl into the back of her throat as she began to choke. Her eyes prickled with tears behind her goggles as she gasped for air under the waved current. She was in the lead when her head bobbed up and she gasped in a tight breath.

She could see the others starting to rotate and forced herself on, ignoring the burn in her lungs.

"Gold!" Her mind screamed, remembering that there were girls creeping up behind her. She kicked and cried behind her goggles as her throat closed from clenching the water. Finally she tapped the other wall, gripping with one hand at the first hand she could find while her other went to throw her goggles off her head.

She instantly began to cough back the liquid as Sandra and Katia tugged her to the pool edge.

"Whoa. Get it all out, Row." Sandra said, squatting by the girl while the others went to assist their teammates from the water.

"I forgot not to inhale." Rowen explained as her sinuses burned.

"I could tell. Do you want to go sit on the bench?" The coach asked, seeing the red tinge to the girl's face.

"No. I'm fine." Rowen said, wiping under nose and coughing some more before rising to her feet.

"Guess what kid?" Rowen waited for her coach to continue. "Not only did you get the gold you've been wanting, but you just bested your time by 2 whole seconds."

Rowen broke out into a smile and began laughing lightly at the shock of not only her win but also her new time. She was proud of herself. And by the looks of her whole family that were still on their feet and offering thumbs up in her direction, she knew that she made them all proud too.

~.~.~

Clarke and Willow made their way towards the field where Raven stood with various equipment surrounding her. She was busy pumping a soccer ball with more air before she glanced up and saw the approaching pair.

"Hi, you must be Clarke and Willow. I'm Raven." She greeted, walking towards them and shaking both their hands.

"Thanks again for making time to do this, Raven. My wife and I hope you could help us out."

"I'll do my best." Raven reassured, smiling confidently before turning to the younger girl. "Well looks like you're all dressed and ready to get active." The woman said, addressing the shorts, tank top, and sneakers Willow wore.

"I'll go take a seat over in the stands. Have fun, Ladybug." Clarke kissed the crown of her daughter's head before leaving, allowing the two to begin.

"Alright, first things first, we've got to stretch. Always stretch before working out. You'll thank me later." Raven walked through some basic stretches with Willow, joining her in the actions and explaining why each is important.

"Now, what in this field looks appealing to you?" The older woman asked, motioning to the equipment.

"What's the stick for?" Willow pointed to the field hockey stick.

"That is for field hockey. It's basically hockey only your stick is a different shape and you play with a ball, not a puck."

"My moms said I should do individual sports. I don't want to mess up and have my team angry with me." Willow explained, making Raven nod before she moved to separate the stuff from team to solo performing sports.

They worked through a bunch of random sports. Shot put, archery, fencing, boxing. Willow seemed to be unsure with her actions and admitted to not feeling right with any of the things she tried. She feared the arrows and fencing swords despite the protection they both had when they weren't being used. She simply did not want to harm anyone.

Boxing was once again an action she couldn't do. She refused to hit Raven's hands when told to. As for shot put, the ball was too heavy and she didn't feel strong enough to do it.

Raven was stumped, thinking about what to do while she and Willow drank water on the stands. She glanced to her right and saw Willow, the girl's eyes were following the lines of the track, memorizing the route and overall size.

Clarke saw this as well but knew that Raven mentioned track being a larger team sport than initially perceived.

"Will, why don't you go run?" The athletic woman suggested, the girl perking up when she heard this. "Your mom and I will be here, I just want you to keep moving. See how good your stamina is. Go and run that as fast as you can."

Willow nodded and walked onto the track, standing behind the line as she jumped twice and then took off, running with large strides and easy moves.

Raven had started her stopwatch and was honing in her athletes eye to critique the running. She was pleasantly surprised to see how good the twelve year old was.

"She's fast." The woman mentioned to Clarke.

"She's happy. I can't believe she's smiling like that again." The blonde had tears in her eyes as she saw her child happily sprinting with a grin, making it to the end of the 400 meter track before stopping and laughing lightly.

"Holy shit." Raven said, making Clarke look to her and her eyes to clear of tears.

"What?"

"Her time. She completed that in a minute and fifteen seconds."

"That's good?" Clarke asked.

"That's amazing. Clarke she's good enough to compete against the boys' high school team and win. If this is her 400m time I don't even know how her 100m would look."

"She's going again." The blonde pointed out, her kid sprinting just as fast as the first time.

"If you would let me, I'd like to train her as my only sprinter. She'd be making new records for her category and could make it to the state competition in December. I'd be her coach and have her here running ever week."

"You really think she's that good?"

"She's incredible. With the right training I could have her aiming for the summer Olympics by the time she is fifteen." Raven said.

"As long as my girl is happy."

* * *

 **So it looks like the Woods have two very gifted athletes. We're getting really close to a dramatic turn.**

 **I swear I'm not evil :)**

 **-Valentina**


	14. Chapter 14 - Weird Family

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 14** **  
Weird Family**

Octavia greeted her nephews and nieces into the shelter, taking Indie from Lexa's arms before the duo left and the aunt took the kids back.

"You all look so happy. What's up?" She asked, even noticing the large smile on her most shy niece.

"I got gold." Rowen said proudly, despite her aunt being there and watching the whole thing.

"And I'm so proud." Octavia promised, laughing at the blonde's bubbliness before they entered the holding section of the facility, where many dogs were separated to two per every enclosed area with fluffy beds, toys, and bowls of water. When the owner entered they barked and wagged their tails excitedly, mainly because she usually came to give them food or let them out into the large field to run and play with each other.

"Who are the new ones?" Jude asked, recognizing some older dogs that have yet to be adopted.

"Every dog from cages 25 to 50, the rest are still going through their final stages before adoption."

"Take home." Indie said clearly, pointing to all the dogs around her.

"Not this time, stormy. You have Zorro already." She reminded, the toddler shaking her head as if to say she wanted more.

"Can we get a dog from your next search and rescue?" Jude asked as her hoisted Finlay onto his back.

"Up to your moms." She replied, smiling when Lincoln entered with an Egyptian crossbreed that happily approached the group with a super waggy tail.

"Hi, Dimitra." Octavia said in her puppy voice, making the dog happier.

"Is she new?" Willow asked, petting the dog on her head.

"Yup, straight from Egypt. She literally followed your uncle and I after we tossed her a bit of food. She was our first rescue of the whole journey and she was the easiest. Now Linc refuses to let her go."

"So you're adopting her?" Jude asked as he helped Finlay rub the reddish fur of the dog.

"Yup, pretty much. Can't go wrong with a beauty like her." Lincoln said, patting his leg so the dog would sit beside him. "Alright, what do you guys want to help us with today?"

"Whatever you want us to do." Rowen said.

"Well maybe you guys can help us bring them out to the field for a bit and then we'll give them dinner. These guys got out this morning but they are so needing another mad dash around the grass." Octavia said, addressing the rowdiness of the dogs.

"You remember how to open the cages. Just unclip and lift. Some of them will want to say hi so just pet them and encourage them out." Lincoln moved to open the big door that led outside to the fenced area. The older kids got to work while Indie stayed with Octavia and Finlay clung to his brother's back.

~.~.~

"Taxes. Bills. Payments. Vacuuming. Dusting."

"Why are you being such a turn off right now?" Clarke asked her wife as she placed a kiss between Lexa's list of words.

"Because we still have stuff to do." The woman below her reminded, reaching a hand up to stroke some of Clarke's blonde hair back.

"I'd rather do you." Clarke said seductively, leaning forward once again and kissing her wife a tad harder.

"Smooth, Woods." Lexa mumbled, as they broke apart to breathe.

"I try." The blonde smirked, moving to straddle Lexa who sat up against the bed frame slightly. Clarke lifted off her top and did the same to the other woman before continuing their making out.

The two worked off one another clothes and soon they were both naked.

"How did I ever get so lucky to find someone as beautiful as you?" Lexa asked, admiring the woman who sat before her.

"The world works wonders. You're the greatest wonder to ever exist in my life."

"I love it when you talk cheesy to me." Both cracked up slightly and simply sat and stared at each other's eyes.

"I love you." Lexa whispered, moving to cup Clake's face.

"I love you, more." The blonde once again moved over Lexa and continued their kissing, allowing themselves to steal time with each other and ignore all of the impending chores that surround them.

~.~.~

Sophie and Thomas walked along side one another, heading for the movie theater after eating a quick dinner. The streetlights had yet to turn on, but the sun had sunken past the tall city buildings, leaving the streets with a cool breeze and less heat than it once contained.

"I never asked about your family," Sophie said, glancing at the boy next to her.

"It's nothing compared to yours. My family is small and strict and it never feels like we actually know each other. My parents and sister sometimes feel like strangers."

"Why's that? If you don't mind me asking."

"It's fine. My parents are consumed by their work and my sister, Andrea is two years older and the happiest person right now because she got to go to school out of state, therefore away from our parents." Thomas said. "Your moms, they seem really happy. You know I've never thought any couple could look so in love but your moms seem to have it all."

"My moms are so in love it's sometimes gross. But they've had some hard times so they cherish everything they encounter. My mom always said that life is more than just surviving." Sophie said making the smile on Thomas' face grow.

"That sounds nice. Aside from you aunt and uncle, do you have anymore family?"

"Not that I know of. It's always just been the eight of us and my aunt and uncle. I like it that way though, it's comfortable."

"Wait, so you have no cousins? Grandparents?" Thomas asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Well on my mom's side but she lost connection a long time ago. My mama was a foster kid until she aged out of the system. Octavia isn't her biological sister but they grew up together. What about your end?"

"I've got 40 cousins on my dad's side, and 12 on my mom's." Sophie gawked at this information. "They all live in different parts of the world so I never see them, but my dad has nine other siblings and my mom has four. I wish they wanted a bigger family but they just had my sister and I. I would kill to have more siblings."

"Yeah, it's pretty cool. There is never a dull moment in my house."

"I could only imagine."

From there the two delved into their wildest stories, moving closer together through their walk until Thomas bravely took Sophie's hand. She couldn't stop smiling from there.

~.~.~

"We come baring the greatest meal of all time!" Lincoln stated as he entered the house first with his wife and nieces and nephews following. Lexa and Clarke were seated at the dining room table, doing taxes when they saw the bag the man held.

"Linc, you know how we feel about fast food." Lexa reminded, shaking her head in amusment.

"I know, that's why I did it." He said, heading for the kitchen.

"Hi babies, how was the shelter?" Clarke asked, looking to her dirt covered kids. She had to do a double take when she realized it wasn't just a dirty clothing issue, her kids were covered in the mud from head to toe.

"Octavia, Lincoln, for god's sakes guys! I have to hose off the kids now." The blonde rose from her seat and pointed the kids to carefully walk through the clean house towards the back door.

"We got to play with all the dogs mom, and Uncle Linc turned on the sprinklers so the grass was squishy." Rowen explained as Clarke evaluated her child's dirt chunked hair.

"You're lucky it's still September, otherwise this hose down would be cold."

"Can't we just go to the bathrooms and rinse off?" Jude asked as he looked down himself.

"In the bathtubs that your mama and I scrubbed? No way young man, everyone line up." Clarke unraveled the hose while the other three adults watched in amusement from inside. The blonde rinsed all their hairs first, earning a few squeals from the temperature and a couple of attempted hugs (mainly by Finlay and Indie).

"Do we at least get soap?" Jude asked when his feet were getting soaked by his mother.

"Nope." Clarke replied, popping the 'p'.

"Fine then." Finlay jerked the hose upward and sprayed it at Clarke who screeched from the cold water. "Jude, you're a dead kid." The blonde said, spraying him back as Indie giggled and went to hug Clarke's legs.

"Everyone hug mom!" Jude demanded as a war cry, running to wrap the woman in a wet, muddy embrace.

"No, don't you dare. All of you stay back." The blonde warned, hose poised and ready to spray.

"Mmy!" Indie said with another laugh as she toddled over.

"Ind, no. No being silly right now." Lexa laughed even harder from her place inside, tapping on the window to get everyone's attention.

"Use the buckets!" She said loud enough for them to hear. Suddenly Clarke was being attacked by buckets full of water and was soon as drenched as her children.

Octavia went to watch from the back door along with Lexa when suddenly Lincoln hip bummed them outside telling everyone to attack them before her locked the door.

"LINC, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Octavia screeched as she ran one direction, Lexa going to opposite.

"This is for sticking the kids on me." Clarke explained as she took a full bucket of water and soaked her wife.

The kids went for their aunt and soon the dog was joining them, Lincoln once more locking himself inside as he watched from the window and ate a burger in amusement.

"Hey, Uncle Linc. What's happening?" Sophie asked when she entered the house, oblivious to the laughter outside.

"The family is just killing each other out there." He explained as he offered her a wrapped burger, which she gratefully accepted. "How was the date?" He asked her, his eyes still trained on the mess of water, fresh mud, and people outside.

"It was wonderful. Why are my moms willingly making my siblings dirty after they spent the day cleaning the house?" Sophie asked, hoping for some clarification.

"Oh, your aunt and I started it. The dogs and your siblings were playing in the mud so your mom had to rinse them. Jude splashed her and then I forced your mama and aunt out and here we are."

"Here we are." Sophie took a bite of her burger, leaning closer to the window like her uncle and making light commentary about the action outside.

"That one had to hurt." Lincoln said when Finlay tried and failed to pour a bucket of water on Indie, only to have it fall on himself.

"He bounces back quickly." Sophie said with a laugh, watching her brother run beside Zorro.

"Should I turn on the sprinklers?"

"Full blast couldn't hurt." The teenager said with a devious smirk.

"And this is why you're my favourite niece." The man said, heading for the sprinkler pad by the door. More screams and laughs echoed from within making the two people safe inside smile like mad men.

"So worth it."

"Your moms are going to kill me." Lincoln said, thinking for a moment before adding, "I don't think I care though."

"If anyone asks, I just got home." The girl said, taking another bite from her burger before heading for the living room. "Let me know who slips first." She calls.

"Ohh, Octavia is down. You missed a killer fall."

"Front or butt?"

"Landed smack on her butt."

"Damn it. Why'd I walk away?" The teenager asked, running back into the kitchen to see her aunt being attacked with kisses by Zorro.

"Beats me. You looked at your phone and walked away."

"Shoot. I was going to call Thomas. Again, I was never here!" Once more the girl ran off while Lincoln watched outside, laughing as his weird family continued to fight.

* * *

 **Yay, some family fluff.**

 **I hope you enjoyed it :)**

 **-Valentina**


	15. Chapter 15 - Work Assignments

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 15  
Work Assignments**

A month shot by, a new routine finding the family as they settled into the new sports, relationships, and therapy appointments. Thomas took Sophie out every Thursday evening and Sunday morning for breakfast. It became their thing and they enjoyed every moment together.

Jude took up a morning job every Saturday at his aunt and uncle's shelter, afterwards joining the two for a workout at their gym.

Willow was taken to therapy every Monday and Thursday, her other days, except for Sunday, being spent with Raven who had her running from after school until the sun set. She loved the newfound freedom she created in the safety of her workout and was soon to be racing against other teams upon Raven's suggestion.

Sunday evening found the family hanging around the living room while few others bustled around the house for no reason.

Lexa was seated on the couch while attempting to sew a hole in one of Willow's new track pants shut while Clarke rolled out Rowen and Willow's legs with some lacrosse balls.

"Next time Raven says that hurdling is risky, you should maybe take her advice." The cop said, which made her kid laugh.

"It wasn't that hard for the first five jumps. I just ran out of momentum and my feet didn't go as high." Willow explained as she looked away from the TV to smile at her mama. It was amazing the turn around she made in less than a month and with November nearing it was as if September and October never happened. She was happy once again with little reason to feel anxious.

"Well I did my best. These pants will never be the same again." The woman said with a light laugh as she set aside the needle and thread.

"My knees will never be the same again." Willow replied, pointing to her bandaged knees from yesterday.

"Reason 158 why swimming is safer than running." Rowen said making her sister laugh.

"I can't believe you're keeping an accurate count on that." Clarke commented, moving on to the girls' lower backs.

"Swimming is safer aside from the possibility of drowning."

"You can't die from running." Willow said with a proud smile.

"Well there was this one patient the other day…"

"Mom!" Both little girls said making her laugh.

"I'm kidding. You can only get seriously injured if you're acting silly during either sport." The blonde said, giving Willow a pointed look.

"Raven thought it was pretty cool until I fell."

"I'm sure anyone on the track that day thought it was pretty cool until you fell, dear."

"Mom! Mama! Help!" The thunder of feet made Clarke jump and look to Lexa who shrugged her shoulders.

"What's the matter, Soph?" Clarke was on her feet and met Sophie half way, the girl panting with a smile on her face.

"Thomas wants me to go to the school dance with him next month! Oh my god!" The brunette squealed and bounced around, dancing lightly to her happiness.

"That's great, Soph."

"That's wonderful, baby." Both mothers commented at the same time, making their teenager nod.

"I need a dress and to do my hair and makeup and I guess I'll need shoes, but that could cost a lot so probably not, but then again maybe aunt tavia will have something I could borrow-"

"Soph, breathe. You have until the end of the month to figure this out. And money isn't an issue. We'd tell you if it was." Lexa said, laughing lightly at her flustered kid.

"I'm so happy, moms. This is the best day of my life." The overly dramatic teenager said dreamily, earning more eye rolls and laughs from her moms.

"You can tell me more about it while I start dinner." Clarke said, leading the girl away while Lexa went to check on Jude and the little ones outback.

The two and four year old were getting a lesson from their brother on the easy movements of boxing and how to hit his hands while wearing a pair of too big gloves.

"How's the boxing going there, kiddos?" Lexa asked as Finlay grunted when his glove met Jude's hand.

"I'm tired, mama." Finlay groaned, making her laugh with his obvious dislike for the sport.

"Come on, my boy. You can read inside." She said, offering a hand. Jude removed the little boy's gloves and turned to Indie who was still on overdrive with her energy.

"Hit! Hit! Hit!" She demanded, doing a somersault on the grass.

"You want to continue with her, or are you calling it a day?" Lexa asked her other son, carefully brushing the hair back of the four year old who stood next to her.

"A few more minutes wouldn't hurt. Ind loves this anyways." Jude said, playfully jabbing his sister who squealed and rolled away.

"Alright, well mom just started dinner so it should be ready in about an hour. Remember to wash up before you come into the kitchen." With that the cop took her youngest boy inside and sent him into the living room to read while she went into the office space to check her email.

As usual she had the suggested sites, promotion emails, and spams that were useless. Nothing was out of the ordinary until she found the email from her precinct station.

"Fuck." She mumbled, placing her face in her hands as she went over the work email. Things were about to get really messed up.

~.~.~

"What do you mean you don't have a choice, Lexa?!" Clarke demanded, slightly angered with her wife and the email she was just shown after dinner. The two were in their room with the door shut, all the kids gathered in the living room because being upstairs would allow them an all access presentation on the argument that was unraveling.

"It's this or my career. I don't think we can keep up with the kids, a mortgage, bills, the kids sports, therapy, health plans, and god knows what else with only one person bringing in a pay check." Lexa argued back.

"I can see that, thank you, but there are other options. Why not a transfer? I could handle a transfer." The blonde said, knowing very well that her work as a doctor would allow her the ability to work at any hospital she desired across the state.

"I wasn't apart of the transfers. You can see that on the email. There is no negotiation with this job, Clarke."

"What about the kids? You remember what happened last time." Clarke warned, her mind reeling at the thought.

"The kids were little. They are older and a lot more mature. If anything, this could be easier for them to understand." Lexa said evenly, proud with herself for her revelation.

"But it isn't that simple, Lex. You know that." The blonde forced her wife to think, and despite how much Lexa tried to believe otherwise, she knew that this could really do more damage than good in their lives.

"Clarke, I don't have a choice." She replied, her voice defeated as she slumped down and sat on their bed.

"You just have to go to work and try to work something out. We can go from there." Clarke replied, reaching down to lightly rub her wife's back as the other woman held her face in her hands and wept.

~.~.~

"No, no, no. That's too messy!" Finlay demanded as he persistently licked off the icing from his sugar cookie that he's spent close to half an hour covering in icing only to lick off since it didn't look like he wanted it to.

Clarke made the cookies after homework was completed to keep her kids entertained until dinner, which Lexa promised to bring home after getting Willow from her therapist appointment.

The group of six happily iced and ate cookies, making jokes and scenarios out of their iced treats.

Indie took a big bite off her teddy bear cookie and looked at it as she chewed, suddenly whimpering as she did.

"It dead." She said as tears poured from her eyes.

"Aww, Ind." Clarke laughed lightly at her poor toddler's state of disarray. Crying, crumb and icing covered, with cookie falling from her mouth. She was a complete mess.

"Ommy." Indie dropped her "dead" teddy bear cookie and reached to be taken from her high chair.

"It's not dead, baby girl. He's happy in your tummy." The blonde explained, gently poking her daughter's tummy, which thankfully stopped the tears.

"Eally?"

"Really. I promise you. But you have to finish him, otherwise he won't have his body in there." The mother explained, taking the cookie from the high chair and offering it back to her youngest.

"K."

"All better." Clarke said happily, pressing a kiss to Indie's cheek and placing her back in the chair while she made a move to start cleaning up.

"Not that it's any of our business, but Soph and I heard you and mama last night." Jude began.

"Sorry about that." Clarke said as she rinsed a plate from its crumbs and icing.

"Are you and mama alright?" Sophie asked, taking a few empty bags of icing to toss in the trash.

"We're fine, just a little bit of trouble at mama's work. She's working it out today." The mother promised, placing a kiss on both teenagers' heads as she moved around her kids to clean up some more.

Sophie and Jude weren't entirely convinced but they didn't push. Instead the continued to clean and chatted with the younger kids who were giggling and finishing their treats.

"Leave some of those cookies for mama and Willow. They'll be sad that they missed these yummy treats." Clarke reminded her kids, all of which nodded and finished one more cookie each before the rest of the kitchen was cleaned and the table was set for dinner.

"Hey guys," Lexa called through the house, bags rustling being heard as she entered with Willow.

"Hey," Clarke replied, a semi-fake smile covering her face as she kissed Willow's cheek and asked about the appointment.

"It was good, I showed Dr. Reynold's my running videos and she was really impressed. And mama said that she got an email from Raven that have my sign up sheet for the state competition! I'm going to the big meet!"

"That's awesome, ladybug." Clarke said enthusiastically, embracing her finally happy child.

"Are you both going to be there?" Willow asked, looking to her mothers hopefully.

"Of course, baby." Clarke said and before Lexa could say anything Willow was running off to tell her siblings the good news.

"Did you talk to the chief?" The blonde asked her wife once they were alone at the entrance of the house.

"I did."

"And?" Clarke urged. Lexa shook her head in response.

"I'm sorry, Clarke. There are no other options." The brunette said, looking to her feet.

"We have to tell the kids." Clarke sighed out, rubbing her neck in anticipation for the reactions they were about to receive. "Come on."

"What's for dinner, mama?" Jude asked when the cop entered the kitchen.

"Thai food. But before we eat can you all just sit down for a minute. I need to tell you something."

The room grew eerily suspicious and tense, all the kids doing as told and sitting at their designated seats at the dinner table.

"So, I have a new assignment at work," Lexa began, handing off the bag of food to Clarke. "I have to go undercover. I won't be home for five months."

* * *

 **Lexa's leaving! What do you think? Don't hate me yet, you may want to use that on me later.**

 **-Valentina**


	16. Chapter 16 - Nothing Is Disappearing

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 16  
Nothing Is Disappearing**

"Five months?" Sophie finally asked, breaking the never-ending silence that surrounded the family.

"It's a major drug bust. It involves the development of trust and relationships before we can take them down. I have been assigned a position in the bust and am obligated to be at the designated location by Wednesday." Lexa explained, holding back her tears as she looked to all the confused faces watching her. "I can't come home during that time, and can make limited calls, but I want you kids to know that I will do whatever it takes to keep contact with you all. I'm not disappearing forever."

"Will you be home for Christmas?" Rowen asked in a croak, tears welling in her eyes.

"No, peanut. I can't be here. I should be home by the end of March." The woman explained, turning to look to Willow who scoffed. "What was that, ladybug?" She asked delicately.

"This is bullshit." The twelve year old said in a sneer, rising from her seat and heading for the stairs.

"Young lady," Lexa began, the swearing being an inappropriate route for her daughter to take.

"Lex, she gets to be angry. I'll talk to her about the swearing later." Clarke said, looking at her wife's broken eyes.

"We won't get to see you?" Sophie clarified once more, tears welling in her eyes much like they were in Rowen's.

"No, baby girl. Not for a while."

"This sucks." Jude whispered, tears streaming from his eyes as he stared blankly at the countertop.

"I know." Lexa replied as her own tears fell and a lump filled her throat.

"I don't want you to go, mama." Rowen sobbed as she reached for the brunette.

"Shh, shh, shh. Your mommy will be here the whole time and aunt Tavia and Uncle Linc are going to be around a bunch more to help out." The brunette promised, embracing the eight year old.

"Five months is too long." Sophie said, wiping her cheeks.

"I know it is. But sometimes we work faster and can get it wrapped up sooner. Five months is an estimation." The cop explained, hoping to ease the sadness in her children.

"But what about Zorro and Willow's birthday?" Rowen asked, remembering the dogs birthday in January and her sister's birthday in February. Lexa mentally cursed herself for not realizing that, that was the reason Willow was so angry before.

"I will do everything I can to call. It's always different with these undercover cases. I'm lucky enough that I have until Wednesday, sometimes they force you to leave the day of assignment."

"Why?" Jude asked.

"Because there is always a concern for information spread. That's why this is super important for you kids to not mention what I am doing. If people ask where I am like teachers, or friends, or coaches you have to say I'm on a business trip. Nothing more. I'm not even allowed to tell any of you what I am doing. It's super secret."

"Are you a spy now?" Finlay asked, not entirely grasping the idea of what was happening.

"Kind of buddy. But you can't tell anyone."

"Cool." Finlay said excitedly, thinking of a few books he's read that have spy themes.

"Your mama isn't going to leave forever, babies. We have to work together to keep things moving around here until she comes back." Clarke said, taking Lexa into her side.

"Will you be safe?" Jude asked.

"Always, buddy. This is a safe case with a lot of people monitoring myself and the others involved so then we can be protected at all times. Nothing bad will happen."

"What time do you leave on Wednesday?" Sophie questioned.

"Early in the morning, so I'm hoping we can all take a family day tomorrow and just enjoy our last day together until I come back."

The kids agreed and moved to hug their mama, their tears lightening up and stopping once they got over the initial thought of not having their mama around dissipated.

~.~.~

"Hey, babies. Can I talk to you?" Clarke asked, entering the little girls' room.

"Sure, mommy." Rowen said, Willow staying silent as she sat at the corner of her bed with her legs drawn up and cheeks tear stained. The twelve year old refused dinner and had sat up in her room the whole time while the family ate the thai food.

"Your mama doesn't want to leave, but she is a very important person down at the station who is most trusted to take on this case. She's going out there to save people from the bad guys and we have to give her up for a little while to do that." Clarke explained, taking a seat on Willow's bed and offering Rowen to sit with them.

"She's being a hero. I know, mommy." Rowen said with a nod, not feeling as bad as before. Willow was still quiet and Clarke had to get her to apologize somehow so she went straight for the addressing of rude comments that were made.

"Will, it wasn't right of you to swear at mama like that." No response. "She works very hard to provide for this family and couldn't work if she didn't got on this undercover case. You have to be respectful of that."

"I don't want her to leave."

"None of us do, babe. But it's something we have to be okay with because it's her career and she is only doing it because she is thinking about what's best for the family. You have only one more day with your mama until you have to wait five months to see her. I'd hate for you to feel guilty later that you didn't cherish tomorrow with her."

"She promised to watch the state meet. She lied to me."

"Those are things we can't control, love."

"She goes to all of Rowen's swim meets. She's never missed one!" Clarke took a moment to look at this from her twelve year old's perspective. In Willow's eyes she could understand why this was hard for her to come to terms with because it was true, Lexa never missed any of the kids meets and matches. She was present for all of them and now with Willow making such great progress, she was going to miss the biggest moment of her daughter's year. To make matters worse, her birthday fell under the time frame of the bust and the devastated girl was once again withdrawing into herself.

"We try as parents, and things happen. Life isn't perfect, Will. You have to have a realistic perspective on it and if you can't then these few months aren't going to be so easy."

"I'm tired." The petit brunette whispered, closing off the discussion.

"Get some sleep then. Goodnight girls." Clarke pressed kisses to both foreheads before leaving the room to find Lexa laying down a now sleeping Indie.

"Is she still mad?" The cop asked, her face slightly hopeful that her daughter was going to follow so they could talk.

"She's not looking at this from the right angle. She only sees what she's losing right now and that's the least we can expect from a twelve year old. You can talk to her in the morning." The blonde reassured offering to lead the woman back into their room.

"I'm going to miss so much." Lexa whispered, her voice cracking with tears. She had put down the littlest kids and knew that in five months her two year old was going to make so much growth without her, and Finlay was going to read new levels of books that she won't be able to enjoy with him. Rowen was going to possibly get taller, and swim faster, and win more races. Willow was going to compete in a statewide race and possibly win. Sophie was going to have her ups and downs with Thomas and she wouldn't be there to celebrate or protect her through it all. Jude was going to be reckless and make new mistakes that she won't be able to help him fix and laugh at the ridiculous situation he lands himself in. Finally, her wife was going to be alone, with no one to hold her as she grieved on the day of her father's death in the following month, and to make her smile once again because the present is greater than the past.

"You're only missing the things you believe won't be there when you return. The kids may get taller, and they may encounter problems that they need you to help them with, but I promise you that you will return and see them and hear their stories for hours on end. Nothing is disappearing, Lex."

"I am."

"But not forever. In five months I will have you back in my arms, right where you belong." Clarke eased, making her wife nod in contentment.

~.~.~

"So, what would you all like to do on this super special mama day before she leaves?" Clarke asked the breakfast table as the kids ate their pancakes doused in whipped cream.

"Oh, we should go to the forest." Sophie said, making the four eldest perk up slightly.

"Yeah!" Jude agreed. "We always went there to camp or for day hikes. We can go and have a picnic and swim in the lake."

"I don't see why not. Ind was what? One the first time we took her? We are long overdue a forest visit." Lexa said, sipping her coffee as she leant against the counter by the stove.

"I'm going to climb all the trees!" Rowen said eagerly making her moms laugh.

"Of course you will, monkey." Clarke said, moving from her place beside her wife to begin to clear up the table.

"Don't get any bad ideas in that, rascals head, Row." Lexa warned, pointing to the toddler who was reckless and influential.

"It's not a bad idea. It's a brilliant one!" The blonde defended herself, earning a laugh from her mothers once again.

"Everyone go and get ready. We'll leave in an hour." Lexa said as she helped her wife clear up and released Indie from her high chair.

Surprisingly enough, the kids were clearly eager and managed to get themselves ready within twenty minutes, waiting by the door for their moms to brush their teeth and pack a few more essentials for the picnic.

"We can get a pizza along the way."

"And some pie?" Jude asked.

"Why pie?" Lexa questioned.

"Why not pie?" He countered.

"You never show interest in pie, but suddenly you do?" The brunette clarified as she clipped a leash on Zorro.

"A boy can like pie whenever he pleases. So please, pie?"

"Clarke, pie?" Lexa turned to her wife.

"Sure." Was the blonde's response before she moved to load the car.

"There's your answer." Lexa said back to Jude, leading the clan out to the car behind Clarke and preparing for the hour-long drive.

After picking up the pizza and a few treats from the grocery store, including the pie, the Woods family arrived at the forest grounds and made their way to their usual opening.

The trees were less thick in a certain marked area, and the sun shot through and lite it up with green and yellow rays from hitting the leaves. A few feet away was the flat lake that was possibly chilly by now but did not prevent the family from thinking about taking a quick dip.

They ate their food and enjoyed the warming sun while talking about the little things in life that were currently going on in the kids lives. It was intimate, and no one was around except for their family, and to Clarke and Lexa, this was serenity.

* * *

 **Things are going to be a hell of a lot more interesting soon. I promise**.

 **Valentina**


	17. Chapter 17 - Goodbye For Now

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 17  
Goodbye For Now**

Lexa's departure involved a lot of tears from the whole family, and last minute pleas to stay from Willow who finally cracked, but the cop left and Clarke took her kids up to her bed where she got them all to cuddle with her since it was five thirty in the morning and school and work was once something that seemed like a bad idea with their saddened moods.

The day before was well spent with the kids swimming happily until their cheeks and shoudlers were slightly pink from the sun that was setting sooner with the impending fall.

Once back at home the little kids dressed in their Halloween costumes for next week and allowed their mama to take endless pictures of the monkey suit Indie wore, the formal suit Finlay proudly adjusted, and the super hero costume Rowen dressed in. It was silly and enjoyable and soon after Octavia and Lincoln came by and stayed until late, watching movies with the family after dinner until all the kids were knocked out.

Afterwards Clarke and Lexa appreciated each other with greater passion than the many times they did before, and Clarke cried about how she was going to miss her beautiful wife and soon it was morning and Lexa was packed with few bits of clothing and a single photo hidden in a pocket before she left.

Now Clarke held a sobbing Indie who hadn't quiet grasped Lexa's departure until she saw the duffle bag.

"Ama!" Indie said in despair, pushing her face closer to Clarke's neck.

"I know. I miss her too, baby girl."

"Ome." The toddler said, meaning to say the word home, which is where she wanted Lexa to be.

"She'll come home soon. I promise."

~.~.~

It was as the family was lounging in the living room later that evening that Willow came trotting down the stairs with her workout bag over her shoulder and hair pulled into a high ponytail. She was ready to run and her mother was taken back at the sight slightly.

"Are you sure you're up to training today, Will?" The blonde questioned as she set the hair tie around Rowen's braid. When Clarke brought up swimming to Rowen, the little girl teared up and asked for a day off from that as well.

"I need to run. I'm not feeling okay." And Clarke knew her child meant she wasn't feeling okay in her mind and that running was her outlet so she rose from the floor by the TV and slipped on her shoes before reaching for her phones and keys and opening the front door. "I'll be home in twenty minutes guys." The blonde called to her other children before shutting the door and heading for her car.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked her twelve year old before she pulled out of the driveway.

"No." So they didn't speak, but Clarke feared the receding behavior was happening all too quickly, and crossed her fingers that Raven could get her in a better mood after a few laps around the track.

"I'll pick you up in three hours. Call me if you want me to get you early."

"Thank you." And with that Willow went to meet her coach who was at their usual bench, clipboard and stopwatch at hand.

"Ready to train?" The older woman asked, a smile on her face.

"I'm ready to break records." Willow held her word and soon after her stretching the child was making new bests of her own on her 100m and 200m sprint times. Raven didn't know is she should ask what was bugging her star runner so much, but whatever it was, it was making her faster and that didn't seem to be all that bad for either end.

~.~.~

The next day Clarke awoken at 6am with Finlay, Rowen, and Indie all in the bed next to her, their little faces content with sleep. She didn't want to disturb their peaceful slumbers but she knew today was a day to return to school and work and to move through the motions of life without a key family member around to keep things moving with them.

The blonde went to get the older kids up first, who she sent down to unload the dishwasher and to set the table for breakfast while she fetched the last three still in her bed.

With Finlay and Indie on her hips and Rowen sleepily following, the whole family relocated downstairs and slowly but surely got breakfast going and lunches packed before their 8am departure time.

"So today we've got Jude's boxing, Sophie's year book, Fin and Indie are at daycare until I can get them, Rowen you're free and Willow's got therapy." The mother recited, plotting out her work schedule to match the one of her busy kids.

"When are you done with work?" Sophie asked, putting a sandwich into her bag for lunch.

"Well I got the long shift today. I'm at the hospital until 7 tonight." Clarke sighed out, rubbing her face with her hands and thinking about how badly she already missed her wife.

"How about aunt Tavia and uncle Linc?" Jude asked, trying to help his mom. "Soph and I are both at the school so why doesn't Rowen come watch me practice in the gym, the little ones hang out in daycare, and Will can walk to therapy and someone can pick her up when she's done."

"No, Will needs an adult around."

"Can you please not talk about me like I'm not here!" The twelve year old finally yelled, making everyone quiet.

"Sorry, baby." Clarke said after a beat, reaching to rub her child's shoulder. Her comfort was dodged and Willow left the kitchen with half of her breakfast left uneaten and no lunch packed. "Great." The mother said, shaking her head as she took the plate from the table and placed it by the sink, moving to the fridge to take over lunch duty.

"What if I went with her?" Sophie offered, taking out the little kids snacks to put into their little backpacks.

"You have year book, I can't ask you to leave. I can probably get someone to cover me at work."

"It's really no problem. It's what? A ten-minute walk each way? I can walk her there, go to yearbook, and then walk her back to the school. All we need is a ride home, which I'm pretty sure our lovely aunt and uncle would be happy to do." Clarke gave a smile at her teenage daughter and sighed out lightly, feeling better with a set plan.

"Okay, that's good. Thank you, sweetheart. I promise, later after dinner we will sit down and actually plan out what we're doing tomorrow, and then all of next week."

"What's for dinner?" Rowen asked, finishing her last bite of cereal.

"You just ate breakfast." The mother laughed, pointing to her left over bowl of milk.

"I know, but it's always good to know." Her eight year old pointed out, earning another laugh.

"That's very true. Don't worry, I'll think of something." With that Clarke took the little ones upstairs to get ready while the twins took on dish duty and Rowen organized the lunches onto the table to grab and go.

An hour later everyone was out the door, the emptiness of not having their favourite cop wave them off stinging just a little bit.

Their routine was shaken and everyone was on edge, but Clarke knew that they could get through it.

Her only question was when she would get to speak to her wife again.

~.~.~

One week later...

"Kids! Come on, we're going to be late!" Clarke warned as she checked her phone and saw the time starring back at her. She shoved the phone into her pocket and scooped up Indie into her arms and took Finlay's hand.

"Would that really be a bad thing?" Jude challenged as he adjusted a toque over his head and put on his sunglasses.

"Yes it would. Why are dressed like you are unsure of the weather today?" The mother asked, nodding to his confusing attire for the semi-warm November LA weather.

"Because I am unsure. It's sunny but my hair is a mess. I had to balance this out." He said, motioning down his light grey short sleeve and jeans.

"You are so weird." Clarke said, earning a laugh. "Come on, guys! Don't make me drag you out of here by your ponytails."

"Why do we have to go?" Rowen groaned as she and Willow appeared downstairs.

"Because I'm your mother and I said so. All of you get into the car. I'm going to hunt down your sister." Clarke handed her eldest the keys and Indie before heading upstairs. "Sophie, come on!" She knocked on the bathroom door.

"Please, mom. I really don't want to go." The teenager responded.

"It isn't that bad, sweetheart." Clarke tried to reason, trying the doorknob, which was locked.

"I hate needles so much."

"I know you do." Clarke replied, remembering the many doctor visits in the pasts that involved needles and Lexa to hold down the wiggling child. Now Sophie was a teenager but needles still freaked out the poor teen. "Honey, I wouldn't make you do this if it weren't necessary."

"60% of people who get their flu shots end up getting the flu. It isn't necessary." The teenager argued.

"Get off your phone and please open the door. This is not a joke, kid." The door was unlocked and Clarke entered the washroom. "Your mama and I like that you kids are protected when we think it's important. Trikru has been having a lot of flu cases lately and at work many of my co-workers are suggesting I get you kids vaccinated because of how bad things are this year. I don't care how well it works so long as we can prevent something from happening. It's worked in the years we've used it, and hopefully it will work again this year. Now we really have to go." Sophie stood her ground for a moment, arms crossed in defiance before she finally conceded and followed her mom out to the car.

The family drove to the doctor's office and managed to get signed in one minute before their arranged appointment. Five minutes later the large group was called into the small office and managed to find places to sit before Dr. Bryn entered.

"How is my favourite clan?" Dr. Bryn questioned, his smile still as cheery on his slowly aging face.

"Just fine, Dr. Bryn. How are you?" Clarke asked, holding onto Indie who was dressed in her underwear and nothing more upon the receptionist's request.

"I'm good. A bit busy with that sickly crowd out there but what are we going to do. This is the flus' high season."

"You're telling me. The ER is jammed pack with people coughing and sneezing. It's a sound I'd like to avoid in my home." This earned a laugh from the doctor who rolled on his chair over to the cabinet full of medical tools.

"Well that's why you're hear. Let's get you guys covered for the flu season and hopefully I won't have to see you again until next year."

"I thought we were your favourites?" Rowen said, confusion making her question even the more adorable.

"Of course you are. I love you guys so much because your moms know how to keep you healthy and away from this place. It's a special treat when I get to see you all healthy and in need of something to keep you healthy. That's why you're my favourites." Dr. Bryn explains as he takes a vial of the medicine and sets the needle in. "Now, who's first?" He asked, waiting to see how much he needed to measure in.

"I guess this, rascal. It's better we get it done now so she doesn't have time to freak out." The doctor agreed with Clarke and measured Indie's shot, shuffling over in the stool and setting her leg up while Clarke kept her attention and made face the whole time. Dr. Bryn injected the pudgy leg, earning not a peep from the girl who was too engrossed in her mommy.

All the kids got injected until they hit Sophie who began to refuse.

"Jude take your siblings to the waiting room, please." Clarke handed off a now dressed toddler and went to the bed her daughter sat on with her arms crossed and fear consuming her eyes. "Talk to me, Soph."

"I really don't like needles." Sophie croaked out, now feeling okay with crying due to the absence of her siblings.

"You don't have to look. I know mama always held your hand but what about you give mine a try? I promise I'm very strong too and won't let go." The blonde reassured, offering up the hand.

"Okay." A hand was placed in her's and the doctor readied the needle, swabbing the upper arm of the teenager and encouraging her to relax the limb, which she didn't, before pressing the needle in.

"All done." Dr. Bryn said, moving to grab a paper cup with some water for the pale girl.

"That wasn't so bad." Clarke said gently.

"Here." Dr. Bryn handed the cup over, Sophie attempting to grasp it with a shaky hand.

"I got it, love." Clarke took over and helped her take a sip of water.

"Would you like a bowl?" The doctor asked, hoping his patient wouldn't vomit on the floor or the car on the way home.

"No thank you." Sophie managed, wiping her sweaty forehead with an even shakier hand. "Can I just wait a minute?"

"Of course. You ladies just head on out whenever you feel ready. Here's that bowl just in case. If any of them show signs of a fever, or are sick later on in the day don't hesitate to call, Clarke. Feel better, Soph." With that Dr. Bryn left, leaving the mother to calm her daughter.

"I'm sorry."

"What for?" The blonde asked as she stroked her daughter's hair back.

"For being such a baby."

"Hey, no way." Clarke stopped her, pulling her teenager's chin up slightly to lock eyes with her. "You get to be scared. Needles are not your thing. I was there for every injection you've ever gotten as a kid and so I know that you can't control this feeling. I just want to make sure that you are feeling better before we boot it out of here."

"I'm fine." Sophie said, still looking as shaken as before.

"I just want you to breathe first. Calm down a bit. I don't need you passing out on me." This earned a small laugh, which Clarke was grateful for. Sophie leant forward and allowed her mom to hold her as she continued to sit on the bed, trying to collect herself. The feeling of her mom's arms around her and that distinct smell she grew up around fixed her fear almost immediately. Clarke smiled as she rubbed her daughter's back.

* * *

 **Who here hates needles? I do. Most painful little suckers out there. When I wrote this chapter I thought I had to get a blood test later the next day. Didn't need it in the end but it felt good to write how it feels through Sophie's character.**

 **I hope you guys are enjoying this story so far :)**

 **-Valentina**


	18. Chapter 18 - Here Comes The Sun

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 18**  
 **Here Comes The Sun**

Two weeks into November Clarke finally got a call at two in the morning. She instantly answered the phone with anxiety boiling over, thinking something happened to Lexa.

"Hello?" She asked, fully awake.

"Clarke. Baby, it's me." Lexa said, tears evident in her tone.

"Lex. Sweetheart. I miss you so much. The kids miss you so, so much!" Clarke rambled, looking to her three youngest still asleep beside her.

"I miss you guys more. Your voice is so beautiful." The cop said in awe, earning a giggle from her wife.

"Baby," Clarke was struck with a tongue-tied situation. She didn't know what to tell her wife because just the sound of her being there on the other end was enough to stop her whole world.

"I sleep with our family picture right under my head every night." Lexa whispered, knowing her wife was listening. "I think of all of you and I count the reasons why you are all so beautiful and perfect and mine. My amazing family that goes into the world and promotes love. This case is fueled by hate and it is frightening how angry these people get. I'm safe but they are so persistent on being angry at the world. It's negative energy from the moment I get up to the moment I go to bed. But in that section of time where I have my picture and I'm counting my reasons why you are all so dear to me, it's only positive feelings."

"I've got Rowen, Fin, and Ind sleeping in bed with me because I get lonely without you here." Clarke said after moment, wiping her tears from her wife's words. Lexa laughed lightly on her end before speaking.

"How does it feel getting punched in the ribs by those monkeys?"

"It was painful at first but I've adjusted to it. It's kind of nice having them in here for a very long sleep over."

"I'm sure they love it. Sleep over in moms bed, who could pass that up?"

"They better enjoy it because when you get back I'm holding you hostage here."

"Two weeks down." Lexa said tentatively, sighing at the slow crawl time was making.

"Four and a half months to go." Clarke said back, her heart breaking slightly.

"I miss you, beautiful."

"I miss you, too, baby. I love you so much, my love." Clarke whispered, chewing her tongue to stop her tears.

"I love you, more. I have to go because this is a payphone and I can't afford to lose you with the time ending. Go to bed, Clarke. I'll hopefully call you as soon as I can sneak away."

"Stay safe, Lex. The kids will be glad to hear that you're thinking of them."

"Tell them their mama loves them more than all the stars in the sky."

"Of course. I love you so much, baby."

"I love you too." And with that the call cut off on Lexa's end as the payphone ran out of time.

~.~.~

"Mom, Dr. Reynolds wants to speak with you." Willow said as she exited the room of her therapist, the doctor standing by the door and waiting for Clarke to follow her in.

"Alright, here, you can play on my phone." Clarke said, handing off the device to her daughter before entering the office. "Dr. Reynolds," The blonde greeted, shaking the woman's hand.

"Clarke, thanks for taking a minute with me. I've been a bit more concerned about Willow in this past week." Dr. Reynolds said, jumping right into the conversation of interest.

"Why's that?"

"She- Well- No accusation or ill judgment intended, but Willow has been banged up a little bit more lately, and she is rather skinner than a month ago. I understand she started a new-"

"I'm going to have to stop you there a moment, Dr. Reynolds. I understand I'm not being accused, but I would just like to clarify that I, in no way injure my children intentionally.

"Of course not. I would never think that you would be capable of such treatment. I was just wondering if it was sport related, or self inflicted?" There was a pause before she continued. "Lexa mentioned Willow had a reaction to her going undercover about eight years back, correct?"

"Will was four and she began to scratch herself."

"I'm concerned that she has started up some bad habits due to Lexa's work out of town. She is very angry and it takes me quiet some time to crack her protective layer that she's covered in when she comes to see me. Her progress was so amazing and it's like she has done a total 180 and is regressing."

"I was worried that was going to happen." Clarke sighed, placing her face in her hands. "I've been trying, Dr. Reynolds, but she is not co-operating, or being as open with her feelings as she was before. The only thing she is improving in is her running. But she eats half her meals, I can't trust she's eating her lunch because there is no evidence of it existing when I get home, and her sleep pattern is wonky."

"How so?" Dr. Reynolds, addressing the sleep issues.

"I can hear her walk downstairs every night at the same time, around 4am to get some water and then she's quiet downstairs. The first few nights I checked on her and all she does is sit on the recliner in the living room and hold the house phone in her hand."

"She's expecting Lexa to call." Dr. Reynolds said, shaking her head at how deep this girl has gotten herself into this anxiety-ridden state again.

"That's what I thought. After thirty minutes she returns to bed and it happens every night. She misses Lexa so much, and she's built up this wall to protect herself from anyone finding out how scared she is that one of her main supporters isn't around." Clarke said, chewing her lip.

"For the time Lexa is away I'm hoping you'd consider starting Will up on some anti-depressants. She is winding herself up for another attack, and her anger and sadness is fueling it. I really wouldn't want you to deal with that on your own. Please consider it." Dr. Reynold's handed over a prescription with an anti-depressant name scribbled down.

"If she seems to be doing better after Lexa returns can we stop the medication?"

"Of course. This can be temporary. It's for her to process her emotions a lot better and feel less overwhelmed with going through the motions of life everyday."

"Okay. We'll give it a try. Thank you Dr. Reynolds."

~.~.~

Friday night found Clarke and the two little ones in bed, Rowen deciding to go back to her bed since Finlay kicked her in the stomach the previous night.

The blonde held her toddler on her chest while Finlay was with his face buried in Lexa's pillow, snoring softly as the night progressed.

The whole house was fast asleep when a sudden cry pierced the air, making the blonde closest to the sound sit up.

Finlay was crying out once more, withering in his rest as he clung to the pillow under him.

"Fin," Clarke placed a now awoken Indie onto the center of the bed and got up, moving to the other side and scooping her boy up. The little blonde shook his head and clung to Clarke once he awoken, fear still evident in his eyes. "Hey, baby. What's wrong?"

"Want mama." Finlay said past his sobbing.

"She'll come home, I promise, buddy. Did you have a nightmare?"

"Yeah."

"How can I make it better?" Clarke asked, running her fingers over the back of her son.

"Can you sing, mommy?" Finlay pulled his head up to watch his mom for a moment.

"Of course, baby." Clarke thought a moment before bouncing lightly and humming the starting tune of 'Here Comes The Sun'.

"Here comes the sun, here comes the sun

And I say it's all right

Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter

Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun

And I say it's all right

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces

Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun

And I say it's all right

Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting

Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear"

Jude sang the last bit with his mom, playing with a piece of her blonde hair as she swayed back and forth. "Here comes the sun, here comes the sun

And I say it's all right

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun

It's all right, it's all right"

"Are you feeling better?" Clarke asked, rubbing back his long curls. He needed a haircut; the idea brought a smile to her face.

"Yeah. Does mama know I say goodnight to her?"

"Of course." Clarke moved them to the window and pulled back the curtain to reveal the dark street and sky above. "She looks at the same moon as we do. So if you say goodnight to the moon, she will hear you."

"Goodnight, mama." Finlay whispered, a fist going to rub his now sleepy eyes. Clarke rocked him in front of the window until he was out again before looking at the sky and thinking about her wife.

"Sleep tight, Lex."

* * *

 **Sorry for short chapter. Heads up that things are about to go downhill from here. I swear I'm a nice person.**

 **\- Valentina :)**


	19. Chapter 19 - Flu Season

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 19  
Flu Season**

December arrived, and so did flu season. Finlay caught it first from his best friend, Jonathan and so the domino effect began in the Woods home despite their vaccinations. Indie went down after and then it moved upward, getting the two girls. The teens were sparred of the initial flu attack but spent most of their time out of the house to avoid any illness leaving Clarke to deal with her four youngest and their vomiting and uneasy stomachs.

"Tummy hurt." Indie stated as she stood by the toilet and allowed her mommy to wipe her bright pink cheeks that were burning from her fever.

"I know, lovely. It's no fun being sick." Clarke said, rubbing a hand over the stomach of her underwear cladded toddler.

"Sicky."

"Yes, baby girl." It was three in the morning and Clarke knew her other kids were fast asleep, as well as her other three sick ones, which she was thankful for. "Come, bunny. Let's get to sleep." Clarke lifted the two year old into her arms and flushed the toilet, quickly washing her hands and then taking the disinfectant spray to spray over the toilet and sink. She needed to control this virus.

As she was rocking her daughter back by the bed, the hallway lights shot on and feet were heard smacking on the hardwood floor in an attempt to run to the person's destination.

As suspected the person entered the washroom and Clarke instantly heard retching noises. Indie was asleep so the blonde quickly placed her in the center of her bed before running to the sick child.

When she entered the washroom she found Willow grasping the toilet seat as she threw up her stomach contents, which was hardly anything since she refused to eat.

"Hey, baby." The mother said sadly, moving to comfort her sick child.

"Leave me alone." The girl said past gags, surprising Clarke who froze suddenly.

"Why?" She inquired, noticing that her fever was back and with being on a temporary anxiety medication her mode swings were out of control.

Suddenly Willow was sobbing, bracing herself against the toilet bowl seat as she shook. Clarke instantly took to her side and felt the frightening fever consuming her kid.

"No!" Willow cried out, shoving Clarke away furiously.

"Will, you're shaking really bad, you need to get back to bed." Clarke reasoned, reaching out once again.

"I want mama!" The twelve year old screamed, possibly awakening the whole house.

"Mama isn't here. Your know that." Clarke said, her tone still even. "Please calm down and let me help, sweetheart."

"Go away!"

"Mom what's-"

A cry from the master bedroom cut off Jude, making everyone stop.

Clarke ran from the washroom and entered the room to find Indie sitting in her own vomit, her skin glistening with sweat and she reached for her mom.

"Oh, baby girl." The blonde ran to her daughter's side and pulled her from the vile smelling vomit. Her face turned from sympathy to panic at the sudden burn she could feel from her baby's body. The fever spike was way too fast, and Clarke knew she had to go to the hospital

"I want mama!" The toddler screamed, clinging to her mommy before she was placed on the ground and stripped over her diaper.

"Jude, go call your aunt and uncle!" Clarke said to her son with urgency in her tone.

"I called them." Sophie said, entering the room with the phone to her ear.

"Are they still on?" Sophie nodded and handed the phone to her mom who accepted it.

"O, you need hurry. Ind is burning up. Her fever is way to high and-"

"Mom, what's happening?!" Jude demanded, pointing to Indie who's eyes were suddenly rolled back. Indie began to convulse, becoming limp in Clarke's hands before the woman laid her on the ground.

"Shit. Call an ambulance." Clarke dropped the phone to the floor and rolled Indie to her side as she made whimpering and grunting noises.

"I need an ambulance to 2330 E. 1st Street. My little sister is- I don't know! She's shaking."

"She's seizing, Sophie!" Clarke called out, freaking out as much as Sophie who was crying to the dispatchers the situation.

"She's not responding. My mom's holding her on her side. Oh god. Please hurry!" Sophie sobbed, looking at the scene before her.

"Indie! Jude, give me a towel soaked in cold water." Jude did as told and handed over a drenched towel. Clarke carefully squeezed a little water over Indie's forehead and neck, hoping to shock her over shocked and system and freeze it entirely.

"Mom the dispatcher wants me to unblock the doors." Sophie explained as she ran downstairs and did as the lady on the other end told her to do.

Indie stopped convulsing after her three-minute attack and Clarke cried by her side as she ran through her protocoled steps that she performs at work after one of her patients has an attack.

She held her on her side and checked her breathing passages to make sure the vomit that had been released during the seizure wasn't covering the back of her mouth.

Paramedics entered two minutes later and followed Sophie upstairs.

"Dr. Woods." One of the medics recognized, nodding his head in a greeting.

"Jackson." She replied, wiping her cheeks with her forearm and ushering her son to move out of the way with her so then the medics could load Indie onto a stretcher.

"Mommy, what's happening?" Rowen asked sleepily as Sophie held her close.

"Your sister's fever was really bad." Clarke sighed out, feeling shame for not checking up on the kids more and being on top of the fever spike Indie was having.

"Will she be okay?" Jude asked, handing Sophie back her phone that their aunt was previously talking to.

"She needs her fever lowered and possibly some antibiotics. I'm going with her so I'll update you guys later. Be good for your aunt and uncle." Clarke quickly followed the paramedics who were now ready and the three exited the house, climbing into the ambulance and speeding off minutes before Octavia and Lincoln arrived.

"Guys!" Lincoln called, running into the house in a panic with Octavia close behind. He was suddenly hit by a smaller body, the little girl hugging him tightly as she began to cry. "Row, she's going to be fine." He promised, rubbing her back.

"What happened?" Octavia asked as she rubbed Sophie's head with her hand and led the group towards the kitchen.

"Mom was helping Will and then Indie got sick and her fever spiked and she began to shake. She looked so small, Aunt Tavia." Jude explained, his lip quivering.

"She's going to be okay, guys. Your mom knew what to do." Octavia reassured, counting the three that her surrounded. "Is Fin still asleep?"

"Yeah, and Willow won't leave the bathroom." Sophie said, wiping her eyes.

"I'll check on them. Has Willow taken medicine?"

"Mom gave her some at six-ish." Sophie replied.

"Alright." Octavia went upstairs and walked to the open bathroom, finding the twelve year old sitting against the tub with her hair amuck and face pale from just vomiting. "Hi, lovely." She reached behind the girl and started a bath, flushing the toilet as she turned and doing the usual things Clarke would've done to get the girl cleaned and back to sleep as soon as possible. She disinfected the toilet and sink, crouching by Willow finally and running her hand over the brunette hair. "How does a bath sound?"

"Okay." Willow agreed with little protest, allowing her aunt to turn around before she undressed and climbed into the tub, closing the curtain behind her.

"Take your time, I'm right here, baby girl."

~.~.~

"Dr. Woods, I just finished checking up on Indie." Nyko exited the small room where a nurse was doing some final organization before Clarke entered. Indie had once again requiring the medics to put her on the ground before the bed and onto her side. "She isn't responding so it may take a while to determine if there is any speech or brain damage from the seizures but I want to run some more tests. CT, CAT Scan, you know the usual because I'm concerned that this is more than from the fever."

"Like a tumor?" Clarke choked out, wishing she wasn't a doctor in that moment and knew of any impending issues her daughter may have.

"Could be, but it's highly unlikely since the seizure was triggered by her fever. But trigged does not always mean caused so I want to see how her brain activity is working and if there are any major concerns we need to keep an eye on for. You may go see her now."

"Thanks, Nyko." He nodded her way and moved down the hall, allowing Clarke to enter the room.

"Hi, Clarke." Harper greeted gently, placing a cardboard container by Indie's head in case the toddler wakes up and gets sick.

"Hey, Harp. Thanks for cleaning up her mess."

"No worries. Poor thing is really sick, huh?"

"The family got the flu even though I got them vaccinated. The twins are the only ones who got away from it." The blonde informed her co-worker, taking seat by the bed and running back Indie's sticky hair.

"That sucks. Indie can probably go home in a day or two from now. Her fever is already dropping, and her stats are pretty good for a baby who just had two seizures."

"God, I just wish I could call Lexa."

"She still away for work?" Harper inquired.

"Yeah, and it's hard to reach her with time zone differences and what not." Clarke lightly lied, knowing very well she wasn't supposed to speak of her wife's work. Harper's page went off and she sighed.

"Sorry, Clarke. Gotta jet. Give me a call if you need anything." Harper squeezed her friend's hand before she slipped away, leaving Clarke to watch her tiny baby with tubes going in and out every part of her.

How was she going to explain to Lexa that their child may have issues after these seizures? How was she going to tell Lexa about the seizures?

~.~.~

"Alright gang, your mom just called and she said Indie is waking up and the doctor is going to run some tests. She said you can miss school today since none of you got any sleep but she wants you all in bed now." Lincoln explained as he glanced to the clock on the oven that read 6:03am. Rowen had dozed off on the couch a couple of times and Willow got sick too often to be left alone so Octavia had her set up in the nook with a bucket by her side and blankets surrounding her. The twins had been up ever since the first seizure happened.

"What type of tests?" Octavia asked, going over to the twins and rubbing their backs.

"Just some blood work, a PET scan, and possibly a spinal tap."

"Doesn't that last one hurt?" Jude asked, worry filling him to the brim at the thought of his sister being in pain.

"Yeah, but it's for the best if they get it done. Thankfully her fever's gone down and if the PET scan doesn't show anything of major concern than your mom and sister will be home later this evening." Lincoln said, leaning with his forearms on the counter. "Now you kids really need sleep." He fussed, his own voice hoarse with a lack of sleep.

"What about you and Aunt Tavia?" Sophie asked.

"I'm just waiting for the dryer to finish with the bed spreads and then I'm going to redress the bed so your mom can sleep in it without the vomit chunks." Both teens crinkled their noses at their aunt's comment before giving up and moving to their bedrooms.

"I've got sicky one, you get sicky two." Lincoln directed, sending his wife to get Rowen while he got Willow. As they climbed the stairs they couldn't help but thank their gym for the strength it allowed them both to have.

~.~.~

"So you can see there are some abnormalities in her PET scan, but those could be after effects from the seizure. The blood work is at the lab so we won't hear back from them for at least a day or two. I think we should go through with a spinal tap." Nyko said grimacing at the thought of imposing such pain on a little girl.

"I really don't want her to go through that." Clarke sighed out, rubbing her tired face with her hands. "But if there is concern for her health I'd rather it get done now."

"I'll set up the room. I promise once we send out the spinal tap to the lab she can go home. The antibiotics we gave her really knocked the flu out of her system." Nyko earned a small laugh from Clarke who bounced the hospital gown cladded girl and rubbed back her messy hair.

Nyko went off to set up the room and Clarke continued to talk to Indie.

"You can't go scaring mommy like that, lovely."

"Orry." She said, her r's sounding like w's.

"That's okay. Is my pretty girl feeling better?" Clarke placed her lips on Indie's forehead and found it pleasantly cool.

"Tummy no hurt."

"Good. That means we can go home soon." The blonde reassured walking around the room some more as she cradled her little girl close and vowed to never let her go.

* * *

 **Still going downhill**

 **Sorry everyone**

 **-Valentina**


	20. Chapter 20 - The Moon

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 20**  
 **The Moon**

The spinal tap was no fun for anyone and Indie continued to cry for half an hour after the procedure, her sobbing sounding strained from the ache in her back.

Octavia swung by at five pm to gather the girls and take them home after Clarke signed out and promised to be at work once they got the results from the tests.

"How's the little rascal?" Octavia asked as she relieved Clarke from the load of a limp and sleeping toddler still cladded in her diaper due the fight she put up to be dressed again.

"In pain. She was brave though, and she only tried to kick the doctor once." Octavia laughed at her friend's words.

"Had it been Soph,"

"There would've been blood that didn't belong to her." Clarke finished, also laughing at the idea of her teenager enduring what her youngest had to.

"How you holding up, Clarke?" Octavia asked after a beat, looking to the blonde as the neared the car. She could see the hint of tears glistening in the blue eyes of her sister's wife.

"It's hard right now." Clarke admitted, opening the backseat where the car seat was strapped in.

"Maybe next week we can load the kids onto Lincoln and go out on a girl's date. They should all be feeling better by then and hopefully Indie will be sorted out so you can just relax for a few hours. Being an only parent must be hard. I can only imagine what it's like with six kids."

"That'll be nice, thanks O." The brunette smiled to the opposite woman and made a move to get in the drivers side.

"So Lincoln will head out once we're back to pick up some Chinese food and cans of chicken noodle soup for anyone who's still sick while you and Indie shower. After that the twins suggested we watch a movie."

"It's a school night." Clarke reminded with a smirk.

"It's also an honorary "My aunt doesn't give a shit night". So the movie is happening." Octavia said, leaving no room for argument.

"Today's Tuesday right?"

"Wednesday, sweetie." Octavia said gently, sympathizing the woman who lacked of sleep.

"I really need to go to bed."

"Well then Linc and I will be on movie duty after dinner. You can take the little ones to bed and we will be quiet and make sure everyone goes to sleep eventually."

"Eventually," Clarke scoffed, earning a grin from Octavia.

"They deserve it."

"Yes they do." Clarke agreed, glancing back at a still sleeping Indie.

~.~.~

"Can we go say goodnight to mama?" Finlay asked as he looked out the kitchen window where the moon shone over the yard.

"Umm…" Lincoln said, unsure by what the boy meant.

"I told him that Lexa would hear him say goodnight if he said it to the moon. Now he likes to be out there almost every night to make sure his mama feels loved before she goes to sleep." Clarke explained.

"That is freaking adorable." Octavia said, putting some empty noodle boxes in the trash.

"Come on, bud. Let's go say goodnight to mama." Clarke took her son's hand and led him out the back door, bringing them to the yard before stopping at their lawn chair and taking a seat with him on her lap. "How are you feeling, baby boy?"

"Good. The soup was yummy."

"Better than mine?"

"No." He simply replied, glancing at the few stars that could be seen in LA's neighborhood lighting.

"I promise to make soup soon. You seem to be a lot better." She said, holding his hands in her's and allowing him to tuck his feet under her crossed legs. She kept him warm this way.

"I didn't throw up anymore."

"Did your sisters?"

"Rowen didn't but Will did. She still sick like Indie." The boy explained, closing his eyes as a cool breeze hit them. It amused Clarke that her son was so content looking at the sky with gentle feelings surrounding him.

"Wanna tell your mama about your day?" Clarke asked, nodding upward towards the moon.

"I read books today, and I played video games with Jude. It was lots of fun, but he's better at it than me."

"That's okay." Clarke said, smiling at his grin before he continued to tell "Lexa" what was happening.

"I played with Zorro so he wouldn't get lonely. He missed mommy when she left and he really misses you, Mama."

"We all do." The blonde whispered, kissing Finlay's ear.

"I love you, mama. The moon is a good messenger, mommy." Finlay said, turning to look at his mom.

"And I know your mama is being a good listener."

~.~.~

Two days later Clarke took Indie back to the doctor for more tests after her results came back presenting signs of epilepsy. She was started up on daily medication and was sent to a doctor who worked in the field of child brain health.

It was heartbreaking for Clarke to think about her little girl constantly dealing with this possibly life long issue.

The hope was that the medicine would reduce the risk of another seizure and possibly eliminate the chance of it happening until the far future.

On top of Willow's anti-depressants, Clarke was know in charge of giving Indie her medicine, which she was always reluctant to do. Willow could swallow her tablet whole unlike Indie who required it to be crushed into a soft food and taken twice a day.

"Indie, open your mouth please." The blonde said as Octavia finished crushing up the half of a tablet and sprinkled it into the remaining dinner that Indie had at least two bits left to complete.

"Icky!" Indie argued, pointing to the food that was now hiding the vile medication.

"No, it's yummy. Your head feels better with it." Clarke reminded, thankful that Octavia and Lincoln took over the cleaning of the kitchen while she dealt with the toddler. "Please, peanut, just eat this and then we can have some ice cream, okay?" It was a Friday evening and she knew her kids could use the treat, especially since they were all feeling better and getting back to their hectic lives starting Monday.

"K." Indie reluctantly opened her mouth and ate her mashed potatoes, managing to eat them without making a face.

"Good girl." Clarke cheered as the last bit was consumed and the bowl was placed into the sink for cleaning. "Now, who wants ice cream?"

~.~.~

2 weeks later…

20 miles north of the Mexican/U.S border in San Diego, Lexa was lying in bed with the lights of her room shut off. She couldn't sneak away again and her "boss" was asleep in the other room so there was no slipping out the front door.

The bust was going as planned. She earned their trust and developed confidence in her false actions, but they were nowhere near close.

Strong dealers were posing threats to her current position and a major drug war was brewing. She crossed her fingers it wouldn't unravel before they could conclude the bust, otherwise it would spread out in length and increase their current five months by at least another six. She was nowhere near ready for that type of time away from home.

It was nearing midnight and she had gone to bed a solid two hours ago. This is how she spent many of her nights. She was restless, agitated, and cried many of times just thinking about how it would feel to be wrapped in Clarke's arms once again.

However she was comforted by the photo under her pillow and felt slightly safer with the knowledge that her protection gun was carefully concealed under the bed.

After a few beats of eerie silence in the apartment, Lexa found herself dozing off. Midnight turned into one. One to two. Two to three. And then the sound of a car startled Lexa awake from her half sleep at four am. The car pulled up quickly and cut its engine in a quick motion.

Her heart was pounding and her palms began to sweat as she carefully tucked the picture of her family deep into her sweat pants pocket.

She was concealed by darkness and the sheets but the thin protection did little to shield her from the sound of the main door breaking open and people screaming in Spanish.

She quickly threw herself to the floor and pulled free the gun after the first shots were fired. A cry of pain was heard before another shot rang out and then her door was kicked open.

"Conseguir la cogida!" One of the men screamed shaking his gun over Lexa. She understood very little Spanish but she knew two things after spending time around illegal Mexican drug lords: The words fuck and up. Usually they were combined but she knew better and instantly rose, concealing her weapon by her hip. The small earpiece in her left ear that was installed before she left sparked to life.

"Get out of there, Woods. We are sending backup right now. Fuck your cover, this is not planned." The woman communicates to her, Lexa's rage picking up. They had one job on their end and that was to keep those under cover safe. Now she was fearing for her life and was forced to face three men pointing guns at her.

"English?" She asked the men, hoping one of them could understand her.

"Shut up!" A man off to her left screamed, his voice cracking with absolute strain. Lexa flinched and prepared for any shots before another man spoke.

"Your boss is dead. The drugs are ours. Take us to the stash." He commanded, nodding for his men to seize her.

"I don't know where it is." She answered truthfully. Her job was to receive information on the drugs whereabouts so they could arrest the people working with the stash.

"Don't fucking lie!"

"I don't. I really don't! Please, don't shoot!" She sobbed out, shaking when brutish arms grasped her's.

"Tell me where it is, bitch!"

"I don't know!" And then the gunfire rang out, the whole apartment exploding in voices, walkie-talkies beeping, and voices saying for everyone to get down.

"You fucking bitch! She's undercover!" The center man moved quickly, shooting both of his men before turning the gun to Lexa who lifted her own and clicked the safety off.

"Put the gun down!"

"Not today." And then three shots were fired. One hit her head, and the other bullet hit her stomach, sending her to the ground where her eyes caught sight of the moon through her window before she dissolved into an unconscious heap.

* * *

 **I'm a terrible person. Please don't hate me.**

 **-Valentina**


	21. Chapter 21 - Hope For A Miracle

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 21  
Hope For A Miracle**

"Keep applying pressure. Officer Woods can you hear me? Lexa?" Medic Sterling called as his hand went to pull the cop's eyelids up in order to flash his light into each pupil.

"Not responding, and her pulse is dropping. Let's cut the shirt." A fellow medic took scissors to the pajama shirt that was once blue and was now a deep red. It was cut off and thrown onto the floor of the medical chopper that was taking them to the Ark medical center.

"Blood pressure dropped sir, she's 80/60."

"How's her heart holding up?" He asked back, attempting to examine the bullet wound only to have an aggressive blood burst to begin with a lack of pressure. "Hold that down again, Eileen. We can't let her bleed out. George, how's the head wound?"

"There's no exit wound, and it's just at her temple, may not cause any extreme brain damage."

"Heart rate is dropping 50 and down. We should prep a defibrillator."

"You do that, someone prep an IV and pump her with antibiotics. She's beginning to sweat."

"Sir, 30 and dropping."

"Start CPR." Sterling took over applying pressure to the wound on Lexa's upper stomach, allowing his fellow medic to start CPR. Her heart rate continued to plummet and soon Sterling took over once again.

"She's going into cardiac arrest." Eileen stated making Sterling stop his actions and move to attach the electrode pads onto Lexa's chest.

"Charge the defibrillator up to 200."

"Charged to 200."

"Ready." All doctors removed their hands, despite her bleeding and waited until the shock was completed.

"Clear." Sterling shocked Lexa's chest, looking to her heart monitor, which made little improvement.

"Up to 500."

"Charged to 500."

"Ready."

"Clear." The shock did some more improvement and a final one was administered before Sterling put the paddles aside. "Alright let's get pressure bandages over the bullet wounds, we are 20 minutes to landing."

The four medics worked to wrap Lexa's head and torso, keeping a watchful eye on her still low but seemingly appropriate heart patterns.

"Who's going to call her wife?" Eileen asked as the chopper got quiet.

"Someone at the hospital. Looks like she's got quiet a large family." George stated as he slipped the picture that was peeking out of Lexa's pocket.

It was blood stained and crumbled, but you could clearly see the happy family.

"Shit." Sterling sighed out, closing his eyes a moment. "You've got a family at home who needs you to pull through, Woods. Don't let them down."

~.~.~

"Can we get two bags of 500cc's of blood?"

"Gun shot wounds to the head and stomach?"

"Hit her right in the liver. The whole thing is ravished." The doctor who requested the blood said, moving her ultrasound machine around the area where the bullet was detected and the liver was hardly existent anymore.

"How about the head?"

"You can get started on it. She received a bullet to the temple, but it's undetermined if it came close to the brain or not."

The second doctor unwrapped the wound and evaluated the bruising face of his patient. "Might have actually missed her brain, Sandra. Most definitely crushed the upper tip of her cheekbone."

"Well extract the bullet if you can and close her up there. I'm going to call Donald down to help me with the removal of her liver and the bullet. We need to order a transplant immediately."

"We have no organ donors who have passed away lately."

"There has to be one. Oscar, don't bullshit me this is serious." Sandra froze her movement with the wand of the ultra sound machine to face her fellow doctor.

"Why would I shit you about something like this? This woman will have no liver until an organ donor passes away and we can take the liver from them."

"Well, can't we find a relative to donate half of their liver?"

"No, says here that Lexa Woods was a foster kid. No living relatives left." Oscar informed Sandra, glancing between the bullet wound and the chart beside him.

"How long can she go without a liver?"  
"Well if you can't salvage anything of her original I'd say she's got five days, unless she takes well to life support, then we've got less than a month."

Sandra moved aside for some nurses to set up the blood transfusions along with a new IV bag.

"We better hope there's something in her that can be salvaged then."

~.~.~

"Boys stop throwing food." Clarke laughed as she caught a piece of toast that flew across the table.

The family was getting better. They were happy and preparing for some fun Christmas plans with Octavia and Lincoln since the kids would be getting out of school this coming up Friday.

On Friday Rowen has a swim meet before her season break, and Willow has the large state wide meet on Saturday that the whole family was attending before they would drive down to Anaheim where Disney was the promise for Christmas.

Everything was falling into order again and the prospect of being close to half way through the time that Lexa would have to be away didn't hurt either.

"Raven's here!" Willow cried, having answered the door a minute ago.

"Sorry about coming by so early, Clarke." The coach said as she entered behind her athlete, her hands behind her back and she walked.

"That's perfectly fine, Raven." Clarke smiled at the woman. "Would you like something to eat?"

"That's fine, I just wanted to give something to Willow, and I thought you might want to see it as well." The family looked expectantly at Raven who finally pulled her hands around and revealed the black hoodie. She held its shoulders and allowed it to fall revealing the new "team name" and symbol. "I'm proud to announce that Willow is the first member of the Grounders."

"Yay, Will!" Sophie cheered along with her siblings.

"I'm so proud, baby." Clarke placed a kiss on her daughter's temple as she admired the hoodie. "Why Grounders?"

"That was all Will's work." Raven said, nodding to the girl.

"I feel grounded when I run, and so I want other people to understand that as well. I want us to be the grounders."

"That's great. You are one talented, ladybug." Clarke gushed, peppering her daughter's face in kisses before returning to lunch prep. "So are you expanding the team, Raven?"

"I want to close up this season, possibly start promoting the program by spring and have new runners ready to train in the summer. If Willow kicks ass on Saturday we are sure to have parents begging us to take their kids in. But Will's my number one priority. I'm taking her to the Olympics." Raven shot a smile in her star athlete's way before the phone rang, pulling Clarke away from the conversation.

"You can grab a mug from that shelf if you want coffee, Raven." Clarke said, enjoying the pleasant atmosphere of her home before she picked up the phone and answered it.

"Hello?" She asked, not checking the caller ID previously.

"Is this Clarke Woods, speaking?" A man on the other end asked, the tension as thick as ever through the phone.

"Yes, sir. May I ask who's calling?"

"This Sterling Drew, ma'am. I am a chopper medic for the Ark hospital. We just brought your wife in. I'm sorry to inform you that your wife, Lexa, has sustained injuries involving a gunshot wound to the head and stomach. She is in emergency surgery as we speak." Clarke instantly couldn't breathe. Her throat shut as tight as ever and her eyes filled with tears while her stomach churned with the threat of bringing her breakfast back up. "It's undetermined how she is currently doing but we've got Sandra McNally and Oscar Quinn caring for her wounds. They are our best trauma surgeons. Mrs. Woods… are you still there?"

"Please tell me she isn't going to die." Clarke managed to ask, her teenagers grasping onto her words and looking at her in fear.

"That can't be determined yet, but she is in the best care possible. You are needed to come down to the hospital to speak with her attending surgeons and answer some crucial questions to proceed with certain parts of the procedure. Is that possible for you?"  
"I'm coming. Oh god. I- I- Please Sterling. Don't let her go."

"I will go back in to be with your wife and ensure her safety if that brings you some comfort."

"Please."

"I apologize again for this. She had a family picture in her pocket. I can guarantee that she will fight for you all."

"Is everything all right, Clarke?" Raven asked as the kids looked to their crying mother with pale faces.

"Your mama's hurt guys. I need to go." Clarke stressed out loud, not entirely thinking about how her kids would respond. Her only concern was getting to Lexa. "Where are my keys. Oh god, I have to take you guys to school!" She recognized now that she had children.

"Go, I've got a car large enough to take the kids to school and I'm sure we can reach Octavia and Lincoln before we leave so the little ones can be here with them."

"What's wrong with mama?" Rowen cried, her lip quivering as she spoke.

"She's hurt, Row. I have to go." Clarke restated, finally finding her keys and running for the door.

"What the fuck mom!" Sophie screamed after the blonde. "What's wrong with mama?!"

"Hey, sweetie. Calm down." Raven said gently to the teenager.

"No! She can't just leave like that and pretend that we won't worry about anything." Sophie said, her face filled with pure anger.

"She has to go and take of your mama. That's her only concern right now. I promise that we can call your aunt and uncle and find a solution." Raven reasoned, hands on Sophie's shoulders.

"I want my mama!" Rowen cried, tears flooding from her eyes.

"Stop yelling, Rowen." Jude demanded as his own tears fell. He was frustrated with the situation as well.

"Everyone take a deep breath. Who has Octavia or Lincoln's number?" Jude handed over his unlocked phone and the coach got to work, having already known they two pretty well making the conversation straight forward and quick so she could return to defusing the anger the siblings had against one another.

"Come here, sweetie." Raven motioned for Rowen to come to her and wrapped the little girl in a hug. She's been around this family and found Rowen to always act older than her age, but now she was seemed so torn up. They all did. "Your mama will be fine. It's only scary right now because you don't know what's happening. I promise it will be easier once your mom calls later on." Rowen sobbed harder as she was held, the other kids silently glancing around the room as tears trickled down their faces and fell.

~.~.~

"Please be okay, please be okay." Clarke mumbled to herself as she entered the ER and approached the front desk.

"Dr. Woods, you aren't supposed to be in today." Jackie, the receptionist said, noticing the distressed look on Clarke's face.

"Lexa, she's here. Who can I talk to?"

"Mrs. Woods. Thank you for coming." A doctor approached, realizing the woman he was waiting for had arrived.

"Oscar, I thought you were working on Lexa?" Clarke said, furrowing her eyebrows.

"I completed my task. Dr. Reed is taking over with Dr. McNally to have Lexa's liver removed."

"Oh god," Clarke began to feel faint, moving to grab the counter of the receptionist desk.

"Jackie, some water would be nice." Oscar said calmly as he took Clarke by the elbows and led her to a semi-private section of the waiting room. Jackie approached with a cup of water and handed it over, squeezing Clarke's arm before she returned to work.

"So Lexa sustained a bullet wound to the face and stomach. Thankfully the head wound was shallow and narrowly missed her brain, however there may be some damage to her skull that we can get a plastic surgeon to correct. As for the bullet wound in her stomach, it shattered two ribs and caused her liver to rupture. Sandra tried to salvage what she could but there was no use especially with the bullet leaking a certain chemical that was successfully drained but killed the liver too quickly."

"Are there any donors available?" Clarke asked, accepting a tissue to wipe her eyes.

"That's the hard part. We have no donors currently and so we're going to get her started on some pretty intense drugs to keep her blood clotting properly. Since the trauma wasn't major I can assume that she will wake up in a day or two, however she will likely be significantly drained due to her inability to process fat into energy."

"She won't make it long without a liver, what's the plan?"

"Our hope is that her body does not reject the drugs so we can keep her system running for a few months while we find a donor that can give her half a liver, or an entire one."

"How about me? What if you take part of my liver?" Clarke asked, knowing that the liver was capable of growing itself back so long as it had a small part to do some major fat processing and blood clotting.

"She will most likely reject it. Lexa's medical history is a bit of a blank page considering how she was apart of the foster system, but the sooner we get a liver and we can chemically enhance it so her body is forced to accept it, the better." Oscar handed over the clipboard he held and gave Clarke a sympathetic look.

"Should something happen to your wife, you are required to sign these forms out. I'm sure you know how it goes." Clarke nodded. She's given her fair share of the 50/50 chance of living news, and each one was as terrible as the last.

"Oscar, what if she rejects the drugs?"

"Then we will make her as comfortable as possible and hope for a miracle."

* * *

 **Gotta hope for that miracle I guess.**

 **-Valentina**


	22. Chapter 22 - Small Distractions

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 22  
Small Distractions**

"She's coming around. You may go in again, Clarke." The blonde ran into the room she's been sitting in for two days, noticing the twitch in her wife's face as sleep begins to slip away. A tube was placed between her ribs on her right, and IV drips were attached to her right hand so Clarke took her left and gentle caressed the hair back of her wife. A bandage was wrapped over her forehead and there was significant bruising on the right side of her face, but Clarke still found her gorgeous.

"Hi, baby." She whispered as Lexa slowly opened her eyes. A noise of discomfort was made along with a slight whimper. "Shh, Lex. It's me, you're safe." The blonde reassured.

"Cl-arke?" Lexa croaked out, her voice hoarse from the lack of use.

"Hi, baby. I'm here." Tears instantly poured from both women, Clarke was silent while Lexa sobbed. "Don't cry, please don't cry, love."

"Clarke." Lexa repeated, as the blonde pressed her forehead to the brunette's left temple. She cried harder at the wonderful contact of just being close to her wife.

"I've got you."

It took a moment of silence between the two before Lexa brought a shaky hand up to pull Clarke's chin her way. She brought their lips together and relished in the feeling of having her wife's lips on her own.

"I love you so much." Lexa said is a whisper, her voice tired.

"I love you more, beautiful. I'm never letting you go again."

"How are my babies?"

"They're fine. Octavia and Linc are taking care of them. Baby, how do you feel? Are you nauseous?"

"No, just a headache." Lexa replied, addressing the throbbing in her head.

"Okay, that's good. Your headache is from the wound in your head. I can call the doctor in if you're ready and would like some medicine for the pain."

"That'd be nice." Lexa squeezed her wife's hand and allowed her to move slightly to press the nurse call button before returning to their position.

"Glad to see you're awake, Lexa." Oscar said as he entered the room and took her clipboard up. "How's the head feeling?" He asked after a minute of glancing over the nurse's notes.

"It's throbbing." Lexa admitted, looking into the light he shone in her eyes.

"I could imagine. We still need an x-ray done but I'm sure your cheekbone is slightly shattered despite the bullet hitting you just a little bit off from the eyebrow. Don't mind me, I just want to unwrap you and see how the stitches are holding up. It took two large sutures but thankfully the gun that was used had a poor fire pressure so it wasn't too deep." Her unraveled the gauze and finally revealed the wound. Clarke tried to keep her face as straight as possible, as too avoid scaring her wife, but the bruising at the wound was so intense that it was almost black.

"Is it bad?" Lexa asked, chewing her lip.

"I can show you if you'd like, but it isn't pleasant." Oscar warned, hoping she would want to avoid seeing it.

"I'd rather not, thank you." The room seemed to deflate in tension and Oscar got to work with carefully cleaning the stitches before re-wrapping the woman's head.

"Now we've got to go over the heavy stuff." Clarke took Lexa's hand and gave it a strong squeeze, hoping to transfer her bravery to the woman before the truth was revealed about the upcoming struggles they had to face.

It took twenty minutes for Lexa to stop crying after being told about her liver and the lack of a donor. She felt as if her whole life was being taken from her before Oscar spoke one final piece of information.

"Well as I mentioned while checking your head, the gun lacked of a certain pressure to do too much damage. That's why I checked the bullets and it seems to be that the bullet from your head was round nose, a weaker bullet found in weak pistols. The one in your stomach was a hollow point-"

"Like the kind in a rifle?"

"It was coded as a police rifle to be exact. It has been determined that the attacker took a shot at you, hitting you in the head, before shooting himself in the mouth. As he descended a S.W.A.T member took a shot and missed him, causing the bullet to hit you."

"You mean this could have been avoided?" Clarke seethed.

"Yes, it was a major flaw in the police forces end."

"What the actual fuck? First they take my wife away, force our family to struggle with the basics of taking each day and then they mess up in keeping her safe! Their one job was to protect my wife and they shot her!"

"Clarke, baby. Shh. It's okay." Lexa said gently, reaching out to cup the blonde's cheek.

"No, Lex. This isn't fair-"

"Life wasn't made to be fair." The brunette cut her wife off, locking their eyes, which seemed to calm her down significantly.

"I can't lose you."

"I'm not going anywhere. I will keep living until a solution is found. Don't lose hope yet."

"I'll leave you ladies for a moment. Call me back if you have anymore questions."

Lexa was gentle with her heartbroken wife, seeing as this seemed worse for Clarke to face. She knew that had she been in the place of her wife she would be shattered at the prospect of losing her beloved and raising the kids on her own.

"You're beautiful." She finally said, stroking Clarke's blonde hair behind her ears. This action seemed to push Clarke over the edge, and the sobs overcame her. She broke down and Lexa knew she'd give anything to hold her close and kiss the pain away.

"Please don't leave me, Lex."

"No baby, I'm not leaving. Look, I'm right here."

"You were gone four times. They brought you back four times." Clarke sobbed out.

"I'm so sorry, love. I didn't mean to frighten you."

"Don't apologize. I should be sorry. I'm crying and you're being so brave-"

"It's my job as a wife to be brave. I'm supposed to be there for you through thick and thin, just like you are for me." Lexa said, removing her hands from Clarke to push herself towards the edge of the bed slightly.

"Lex, what are you doing?"

"I want to hold you."

"You shouldn't move. Please stop." Clarke said, trying to stop her wife's motions.

"Clarke, let me do this." Lexa shuffled over a bit more, only making a face once from the ache in her side until she was satisfied with the space Clarke would have. "C'mere." She reached for her wife who thankfully did not resist, taking a seat at the edge of her bed before curling into the brunette's side. "I missed you. So, so much."

"I missed you too." Clarke sniffled out, wiping her eyes with her hand before reaching to hold Lexa's hand.

"I'm not going to let go of you for a long time."

~.~.~

"Hi Octavia, thanks for waiting around today. Willow wouldn't speak to me unfortunately, so I think it's best that we call it a day and we regroup on Monday." Dr. Reynolds said as she led Willow to her waiting aunt.

"Sorry about that. Things have been pretty rough at home. Lexa's in the hospital and Clarke only came by once to tell me what was happening so the kids are still anxious about not seeing their mama."

"When are they able to go see her?" The therapist asked, glancing at Willow who had taken a seat on one of the waiting room chairs.

"We're hoping to swing by later today. Probably before dinner time."

"That's good. Willow seems to really benefit from seeing instead of hearing. I hope Lexa starts feeling better soon."

"Yeah, we all do. Those kids are her world, but they need her as much as she needs them."

~.~.~

"So guys, your mama doesn't look too good right now. She's got a really bad bruise on her face and she's feeling really weak, but she can't wait to see you all." Clarke explained as she led the group towards her wife's room. A nurse was going to make them stay in the waiting room but Clarke had convinced her to allow them all in at once since her wife would really benefit from the entire group being in her presence.

"Ama?" Indie asked as she pointed down the hallway.

"Yes, baby. We're going to see mama."

The group made it to the room and allowed Clarke to enter first before following behind. Lexa was sat up in bed slightly, talking to the doctor with a grim look on her face until she laid her eyes on her beautiful family.

Everyone was indifferent to her previous face except Clarke who made sure to talk to the doctor once everyone was settled.

"Mama!" Rowen said with her excitement boiling over, leaving her aunt's side to be with her mama.

"Be careful, Row." Clarke reminded as the smaller blonde nodded and went to the left side of Lexa's bed as they were all instructed to keep to so then no one would mess with the tube supplying drugs to their mama on her right side.

"My babies." Lexa said proudly, reaching up to stroke back some of Rowen's messy hair.

"Hi, mama." Jude said as he swallowed tears and leant forward to kiss his mama's forehead.

"Hi, buddy." She replied, doing the same motion of running a hand through his hair as she did with Rowen.

Everyone got a chance to hold Lexa's hand or kiss her cheek, which really seemed to adjust their moods considerably since she was right there and alive.

Suddenly Willow began to sob where she stood by Lincoln, her body shaking furiously as her panic welled over.

"Hey, Will. Shh." Lincoln said calmly, crouching down to reassure his crying niece.

"I'll take care of her." Clarke said, ready to take Indie from Lexa so then the toddler wouldn't do anything that could hurt her wife by accident.

"Will, baby come here." Lexa said, stopping the blonde from moving from her side.

"No." Willow said in a croak, shaking her head.

"Please, honey. I want you beside me."

"I can't. No-Uncle Lincoln, please no." Willow begged as her uncle tried to take her hand and pull her towards the bed.

"Okay. Let's take a minute. Come with me, Will." Octavia said, taking her niece into her side and pulling her from the room with her as the sobbing became harder from the young girl.

"I'm sorry, Lex. I thought she would handle this better." Clarke said as she looked to her slightly distraught wife.

"It's okay. She's scared. They all are." She looked to their kids. "I never meant to scare you guys like that."

"It's okay, mama." Sophie said, sitting at the foot of the bed and reaching forward to take the hand of Lexa.

"We're happy you're here." Jude said giving her a grin he knew she couldn't resist returning.

The kids did a great job at distracting their mama, her mood improving as the conversation became playful and excited as they reiterated all that she missed.

~.~.~

"Will, please don't cry." Octavia said as she sat the girl on the counter of the bathroom sink and took some paper towels to soak and wipe up the face of the brunette.

"I don't want her to go." Willow said as she sobbed through her words.

"She's not going anywhere. Your mama is here."

"No- mommy never said mama would get better. They're hiding something." Octavia sighed out at the observant girl's capability to catch the white lies.

"It's going to work itself out, Will. You can't worry about it."

"She's going to die. P-please don't lie."

"I'm not lying. Hey-" Octavia took her niece's chin in her hand and looked at the blue eyes full of tears. "Your mama is a fighter. Even when we were kids she never gave up. She won't give up now."

"Promise?" Willow finally asked, sniffling past her sadness.

"Of course. I want her to be okay as much as you do, and we have to be there for her. That means that you have to be brave and show her that nothing is going to take you down."

"I don't want to run on Saturday. I want to be with mama."

"I won't allow that, sweetheart. You've been working so hard to get to where you are. Your mama wouldn't want you to miss that."

"But she won't be there."

"That's an even greater reason to try and win. For her."

~.~.~

"So how did the tests come up? Is she taking to the new drugs well?" Clarke asked Oscar as the two stood outside of the room. Visiting hours were almost up but the kids wanted to stay until the last minute so she took an opportunity to speak to Oscar about his previous words with Lexa before they arrived.

"Unfortunately, she's not. We'll increase her doses, but it's going to make her pretty lethargic and nauseous. I don't think the kids should come back until at least Monday. That way Lexa can adjust to handling the medication and we can run a few more tests over the weekend."

"Her body's shutting down then, isn't it?" Clarke asked, tears welling in her eyes.

"Slowly it is. Maybe we can spark something back in her that'll balance out what she lost with her liver removal."

"If we were being realistic about her time-"

"Before Christmas, Clarke." Oscar said.

Clarke couldn't help it. Her tears began to fall.

* * *

 **I'm so sorry. Don't kill me.**

 **-Valentina**


	23. Chapter 23 - Painful Scares

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 23 **  
**Painful Scares**

"We'll take a video for your moms. They're so excited for you." Lincoln said to his niece as he left her with Raven and went to sit with the rest of his family.

"You're anxiety level is up." Raven noted as she had her athlete sit on the bench and began to check her legs for any too tight muscles.

"I don't want to run, Raven." Willow admitted, cringing as her sore shins were rolled out.

"You don't want to run? Or you don't want to try?"

"I'm tired. My mama isn't okay."

"And not racing will make her better?" The coach challenged, glancing up to meet her runner's sorrowed eyes.

"What if I lose her?"

"You won't."

"But what if I do?" Willow challenged, bringing on a slight silence between the two of them.

"Willow, you have a gift." Raven said, taking muscle tape from her bag and beginning to strategically put it on Willow's right shin. She could tell the shin splint had gotten worse as of recent. "I used to be a long jump champ. When I was sixteen I was coming home from practice and a car hit me. I had dreams before the accident. I wanted to go pro and make a career out of my athletic ability."

"Is that why you limp?" Willow asked sadly, watching her coach who didn't look up.

"I lost feeling in both my legs. But I was given a second chance and now I can walk, thankfully. But my left leg isn't the same and it never will be. I would do anything to jump again." Raven finally looked up when her taping was done. "If you have the ability to run, and you want to commit to it, then nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, should get in your way, kid. All you have to do is go out there and run."

"Alright." Willow agreed, standing up to start her stretching. Before she began she wrapped Raven in a hug. "I'm going to win. For you and my moms."

"That's all I could ever ask for, kid." Raven replied, re-wrapping the girl in a hug before the track was called to be cleared and the first event began.

~.~.~

"There's nothing we can give her?" Clarke asked as she sat beside Lexa and rubbed her back as the woman threw up into a bowl.

"I don't want to give her any nausea medicine, because it may prevent the blood clotting drug from doing its job."

"Get it all out, babe." Clarke whispered to Lexa, turning her attention back to Oscar for a moment.

"I'll get a nurse to fetch some blankets and wet cloths. So long as we don't have you running a fever, Lexa, you should be getting over this in a day or two."

"Thanks, Oscar." Clarke said, taking a tissue to wipe her sniveling wife's face as the doctor left the room.

"I feel like shit." Lexa said, her stomach clenching in pain once more as she contemplating putting her face in the bowl again.

"Understandably. Do you want me to rinse that out?" The blonde asked as she cleared a tear streak with her thumb from Lexa's cheek.

"Not yet. My stomach is still churning."

"How about some water?" Clarke earned a nod from this and reached from the place she sat on the bed for the cup of water on the bedside table. "Little sips." She instructed as she brought the pale brown cup to her wife's lips and had her take in three small sips. "Better?"

Lexa responded by hunching forward once more and vomiting into the bowl. She was far from better.

~.~.~

"Remember not to look at the girls next to you. Just move your feet and get back here as quick as possible. And don't forget to push with as much power when that shot goes off. Those legs are supposed to burn." Raven said as she walked Willow to the line up along with other coaches who led their runners to the start.

"I've got this." Willow assured, standing before the line up and pulling her right leg behind herself to stretch. She did the same to her left before standing upright and waiting for the calls.

"Coaches clear the track." Raven patted Willow on the back once before leaving the space of the girl. "Runners on your mark." Willow breathed out and did her classic two quick jumps before steeping back to the start plates. "Get set." She tucked her head down and breathed out once more. The shot was sounded and the stands erupted into noise of cheering from all ends.

Willow fired herself off and began to sprint the 400m race. Every second step she breathed in, and then breathed out after another two. She felt her legs begin to burn at the 200m mark but she pushed on, ignoring the empty sides beside her. She was in the lead, and she was proud.

"Willow Woods in taking in the last 100m." The announcer said, her mind counting down the last few seconds before it would be over. "50m!"

And then her eyes locked onto her family, and she knew she had done something right by the smiles that graced all their faces. She was no longer the weakling of the family. She was strong.

Her foot connected with the finish line and the family could be heard exploding with cheers.

It was a hard time, but in that moment the family forgot about their ongoing dark cloud due to the joy overcoming them for Willow's big win.

~.~.~

One Week Later…

Clarke was getting coffee early in the morning while Lexa slept. She hurried to grab the caffeinated drink so then the brunette wouldn't wake up without her around.

She hadn't been home ever since Lexa arrived at the hospital but Octavia and Lincoln were doing an amazing job at keeping all the kids busy.

It was as she rounded the corner that Lexa's door was located that she heard a vicious cough. It sounded painful, and made her own chest ache at the thought of anyone being capable of such noise.

She got closer to the room and the coughs continued, and then it dawned on Clarke. The coughs belonged to Lexa, and it was not a good sign at all. She hurried into the room and placed the coffee onto the food table before rushing to Lexa's side and rubbing her back carefully.

"This doesn't sound good, Lex." Clarke said when the brunette had a moment to catch her breath from the cough attack.

"My chest hurts, Clarke." Lexa whimpered out, wiping her watering eyes with her hands as she tried to steady her breathing.

"I'm going to get a doctor." Clarke placed a kiss on Lexa's forehead before hurrying off to find one of the attending doctors.

Hours later Lexa found herself receiving chest x-rays, MRI and CT scans. Her coughing grew increasingly worse and by the time she was getting prepared to sleep that night her fits were bringing her to tears and Clarke spent much of the night holding her and rubbing her back while making sure the nubbins from her oxygen tank were in place.

The next morning the head of the Pulmonologist department came in to find his new patient finally asleep in the arms of her wife, however sleep was evidently not something the blonde got to have during the night.

"Did the pain meds finally work?" He asked as he checked Lexa's vitals.

"She got to sleep about an hour ago but her coughing was pretty bad. She's in a lot of pain." Clarke explained, stroking Lexa's hair with her fingers.

"We may have a reason for that." The new doctor by the name of Harvey took a seat and opened the new file of Lexa. "The liver plays a vital role in preventing blood clots. We were supplying her an alternative medication to keep her blood clotting appropriately, however she seemed to be rejecting it once again. Somewhere along the past week she developed a blood clot and it moved to her lungs. She has two major clotting locations on the right lobe, and unless we operate to take them out, I'm concerned she won't be able to process the medication required to do the clot removal."

"When would you operate?" Clarke inquired, her hearing tuned into Lexa's heavy wheezing along with the hum of the oxygen tank.

"Today. We shouldn't wait." Harvey explained, handing over the file with a page flipped to show the scans with highlighted a circled areas along with a form similar to the one Clarke signed when she entered the hospital a week ago and her wife was in emergency surgery. "I'll need her to agree as well but considering the lack of sleep she's had it would be useful that we wait until at least 6pm today."

"Alright. Do you mind getting someone to bring in another blanket? She's pretty cold."

"Of course. Just sign those whenever you'd like, I'll leave them beside you." Harvey took the file and placed it on the bedside table before leaving to retrieve a fourth blanket for the patient.

Thirty minutes passed before Lexa began to stir, a cough choking its way through her until she physically gave way and began to heave through each violent cough.

"Deep breaths, my love." Clarke said, helping Lexa sit up better and readjusting their position so then her wife was seated between her legs with her arms encasing her.

"Sorry." Lexa finally managed, relaxing against Clarke and closing her eyes from the pain in her head.

"No. Don't apologize. Do you want some water?" Clarke asked, stroking back the mess of brunette curls. Lexa nodded and accepted the cup, taking a sip from the straw.

"Lex, the doctor came by."

"And?"

"You have two blood clots in your right lung and since you've been rejecting all the medications they've tried he wants to jump right into the idea of surgery to minimize the damage that can be done in the long term." It took a moment for Lexa to wrap her mind around what was happening before she finally spoke.

"When would it be done?"

"Today. Hopefully later this evening. Lex, it isn't as dangerous as it seems. It hurts after but you're already in so much pain that it hopefully alleviates some of it. And if it gives you a little more time until a liver becomes available then I don't see what harm could be done in doing it."

"Can the kids come by before?"

"Sure. Octavia and Lincoln can drive them in after lunch, and you can spend time with them before the surgery." Clarke said, moving to rub a hand over Lexa's chest like she did yesterday to help with the painful breathing that she was having to do.

"I'm scared." Lexa finally admitted, feeling her wife sigh out below her.

"I am too."

* * *

 **Okay before you stop reading because you think I'm going to do something drastic, remember who's side I'm on. Team Clexa guys. I won't do anything too stupid.**

 **-Valentina**


	24. Chapter 24 - Facing The Truth

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 24  
Facing The Truth**

It was a week before Christmas and Octavia and Lincoln were scrambling to make the kids comfortable with the idea of not having their Mama at home all while keeping things festive for the two youngest.

"Why can't we put the Christmas lights on the tree, aunt Tavia?" Rowen asked as pulled out the stockings from a box.

"Because of Indie, honey. The doctors still don't know how bad her seizures are or what triggers them so we are trying to keep things easy on her brain right now." The brunette explained, reaching up to put an ornament on the tree.

"Mine?" Indie asked as she pointed to the various wrapped gifts off to the side.

"Maybe, rascal. You have to wait for Christmas." Lincoln explained, lifting the toddler up and tickling her tummy, which earned laughter and squeals.

"Is Santa still coming? I told him he could find us at Disney." Finlay said with concern on his face.

"Of course he is coming. Your uncle and I made sure to call Santa the other night to make sure he knew where he was going. He changed the information on his special list so then we will get our gifts here."

"Can I call Santa?" The small blonde asked, settling himself on Sophie's lap and looking at her phone.

"No, baby. Santa is super busy this week with getting ready to leave." Octavia explained, moving to the teens on the couch. "Now everyone get up and help me finish with the tree."

"We're not in the mood, Aunt Tavia." Jude said. He was increasingly sad these days. Not even a sarcastic joke came from the down teen.

"Okay, how about a movie then? Can you put that on so we have something watch while we decorate this room?" Jude nodded and silently rose from the couch, moving to set up the TV. Sophie opened an app on her phone for Finlay to play before placing him off to the side and rising off the couch.

"I'll help you." She said to her aunt, taking the other brunette's hand and going with her to the tree.

As they got back to work stringing up ornaments a slamming noise was heard from behind them where the TV was being set up with a movie.

"Fuck." Jude cursed, shaking his hand as he rose to his feet and walked in an anxious pacing motion.

"Hey, man. No swearing around the kids." Lincoln said as he approached the boy and saw the blood on his knuckles.

"I don't care!" Jude demanded, chewing his lower lip from the burn of his re-opened wounds.

"Are you not wrapping your hands?" Lincoln asked, taking the fist of his nephew and evaluation the cracked surface of his hands that came from punching the bag at the gym without taking the proper steps to wrap them before hand.

"I don't care." Jude resaid, yanking his fist away and heading over to the kitchen.

"I've got him." Lincoln reassured the quiet room, following the boy who stood at the sink with his hand under the water. "You've got to calm down, bud."

"Why should I?"

"Because you've got a room of kids in there just as scared as you are." Lincoln said, pointing behind himself to the room where his wife spoke with a happier tone to keep the kids with a lighter atmosphere.

"Oh Willow gets to cry and make a fuss. Rowen gets to scream and yell for mama whenever she pleases. Fin and Indie can cry all night but I can't say one bad word? How is that fair?" Jude demanded, slamming a hand down on the tap handle before groaning loudly and slamming his wet hand onto the counter beside the sink.

"It isn't, okay? I understand, Jude. You get to be mad and you get to feel the way you do but you have to realize that when you break down so do those kids. Your little siblings are not capable of being brave so we have to do it for them. We have to make them believe that everything will be okay and that Christmas will come and Santa will bring them what they want."

"I'm trying uncle Linc. I really am." Jude said sadly, looking to his feet. "How are you going to explain to Finlay that Santa didn't bring mama home for Christmas like he asked?"

"Your aunt and I will find a way, but this isn't a time for you to lose hope yet, Jude. So long as your mama keeps breathing the doctors will find a way. Come here." Lincoln pulled the boy into a strong hug that he clearly needed while glancing to the girls who tried to crack a joke about something Indie did.

~.~.~

"We got it." Oscar said, entering the room of Lexa where both women were in bed re-watching videos of the kids latest competitions. Both of them cocked an eyebrow at the statement the doctor just made. "A liver just became available in San Jose an hour ago and you are on the top of the list. It is being taken through the chemical enhancement and will be ready for us to have surgically put into you by morning."

"Really?" Lexa asked with tears in her eyes as she began to smile. Clarke took her hand and gave it a strong squeeze.

"Really, Woods. Nearly three weeks later and we finally got it. We'll start preparing you for surgery with a few heavy drugs."

"Don't I love those?" Lexa said sarcastically, leaning onto Clarke's shoulder as she thought about what was going to happen really soon.

And then things were in motion. Lexa had been assisted in changing into her surgery attire while her freshly washed hair, courtesy of her wife, was pulled into a braid and then tucked under the medical cap.

The two women did as they had many times before and kissed one another while whispering sweet nothings between themselves. Clarke held her wife's hand until the last moment but even letting her go for a surgery that was going to bring good back into their lives was just as hard as ever.

And then she was left to wait. Her own thoughts acting as the only company she had along with Harper who occasionally came by offering fresh cups of coffee or water.

The room Lexa was previously in was being cleaned and prepared for a new patient since the brunette would be in the intensive care unit after her procedure leaving Clarke to wander the halls and occasionally sit with other awaiting people in the waiting room.

It was into the fourth hour of the surgery that Clarke made her way to take a seat in the waiting room and found herself being told a very eccentric story by a little boy sitting at the kids table on his own. A parent wasn't in sight so she thought better than to leave him alone until someone came back for him.

"I'm very good a soccer." The boy explained, colouring with a blue crayon the grass on his colouring page.

"Are you now? What position do you play?" Clarke asked, actually finding comfort in the kid like distraction. It suddenly hit her how much she missed her own babies.

"All of them. Except goalie. Goalie is too hard." The boy looked at Clarke momentarily, his dark brown eyes and freckles making him look even more adorable.

"Are you going to be a soccer star?"

"One day. I want to be like Lionel Messi, because he's my favourite."

"My wife and son like him too. They used to watch soccer all the time when my boy was around your age."

"Do they not watch it now?" He clarified, his red curls falling to one side as he spoke.

"Sometimes, but not as often."

"I think they should start watching soccer together again. It's my favourite thing to do with my mommy." Clarke watched as the boy drew a very messy name onto the picture addressed to him mom. His name was Eddie, and he dotted his 'I' with a star.

"Is your mommy here?"

"She's sick so my daddy brought her here. He got mad a few minutes ago and went outside."

"I'm sorry to hear that." The blonde said, feeling her own throat tighten.

"It's okay. Mommy told me that things happen for a reason, and that she doesn't want me to be sad about it because there are too many reason to smile in life."

"That sounds wonderful, Eddie. I'm Clarke by the way."

"Nice to meet you Clarke. Is your mommy here too?"

"No," Clarke said with a small laugh. "My wife is. She got hurt at work and we are hoping that this surgery will make her better."

"Is she a police officer like my daddy?"

"Yes, she is actually."

"My daddy isn't a normal police officer though. He wears a big black suit and is super strong." Eddie said, nodding to his own words.

"He must be." It was in that moment that a man entered, a grim look on his face and he looked around the room. Eddie didn't notice but Clarke did and the face of the man is what sent her into silence.

He was the man that shot at the drug leader and ended up hitting Lexa. He was the reason they were here.

And this man knew it when he saw Clarke Woods because the family picture was shown to him and he lost his superior rights after that night.

"How you doing there Eddie Boy?" The man asked as he looked at Clarke.

"Good. Mommy's going to like this picture. I know it."

"For sure. You did an awesome job."

"Clarke helped me pick out which one to colour. She's really nice." Eddie motioned behind himself to the blonde. It was then that the S.W.A.T member took a seat beside her and cleared his throat.

"Your family has every right to hate me." He finally stated, looking at his lap.

"We don't believe in hating people." Clarke replied.

"Well you should, because I messed up big time that night and I may have just ruined your whole lives in the process."

"Why'd you do it?" The blonde finally asked, managing to get the brown eyes that matched the boy's to look at her.

"It was a mess in there. We were told there were undercovers in the building and that we had to keep them safe so when I saw a gun being held up to Officer Woods I didn't think, I just shot. I never meant for it to hit her." He paused a moment. "I acted before I thought it through. I hadn't registered the two gunshots before I finally let mine go. That guy was already down before I could even pull the trigger."

"It's your job to be sure of what you do." Clarke said, trying not to accuse the man so harshly but feeling her anger getting the better of her.

"I know that. What happened that day is something I'll never be able to forgive myself for, and if your wife- god forbid something happens-"

"Nothing will happen. She's going to make it." The blonde snapped out, shocking the man beside her.

"The station is compensating you for everything. Right down to the hours of work you're missing due to this."

"That doesn't make it any better."

"I know."

"I'm sorry about your wife." Clarke finally responded, looking to Eddie who was oblivious to the saddening truth.

"She was diagnosed with cancer after Eddie was born. We've been prepared for this moment for years now."

"No one is ready for this."

"Carrie was. She always knew what to do."

"Lexa's like that too. I'm really hoping this surgery works."

"Me too."

~.~.~

Lexa began to stir at the sound of someone crying by her side. Her head was aching and her stomach was rolling but the crying concerned her more, causing her eyes to open and see the blonde next to her.

"Baby." She croaked out, voice hoarse from lack of use. Clarke caught her eyes but kept crying, not letting up as she clung to the brunette's hand as she sobbed.

"I-I'm sorry."

"What's the matter, love?" Lexa tried, knowing Clarke had no reason to apologize.

"I'm sorry, Lex." Another sob broke through her before she said, "Your body rejected the liver." Lexa began to cry as well.

* * *

 **Ummm... Keep reading... or don't... I promise chapter 26 will be your favourite chapter.**

 **-Valentina**


	25. Chapter 25 - Don't Be Afraid

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 25  
Don't Be Afraid**

December 25th (1 week later)…

It was 7:35pm when the call arrived to the Woods household. Octavia answered it and moved to the kitchen while Lincoln sat with the kids who picked at pizza but mainly shoved it around their plates in the living room.

Clarke was on the other end, the sound of crying evident in her tone but non-the less she tried to speak calmly for Octavia's sake.

"It's time, O. The doctor said the kids should come say goodbye before she falls asleep."

Octavia was at a lose for words, her throat swollen with the thought of this being her sister's last few hours alive. "I'll get them down there as soon as possible." She managed to reply, hanging up and placing the phone on the counter robotically while silent tears poured from her eyes.

She would no longer have her sister around. The first person to truly love her would be leaving this world and she wasn't ready to face that reality yet. Worse of all, she had to watch those five kids say goodbye for the last time.

She knew she had to be brave for them so she wiped her cheeks and sniffled back her sadness before returning to the kids and her husband.

"We've got to go back to the hospital kids. Your mama wants you to say goodnight to her, she misses you all a lot." Earlier that day the family was at the hospital celebrating Christmas. An hour after they left Lexa got a fever and grew weaker.

The twins caught on instantly and seemed to freeze, while the younger ones seemed to believe that this wasn't the last time they'd see Lexa.

The group drove to the hospital in the van, Jude convincing his aunt and uncle into letting him take the dog as well whom he was sure would make his mama happy to see.

When they arrived they all sat in the hallway, some on chairs, others on the floor while Octavia went in first.

"Hey, guys." The brunette greeted, smiling weakly at her pale sister and the blonde next to her.

"O." Lexa said happily, her voice hoarse with exhaustion. The sister ran over instantly, her tears falling as she sobbed and bent over to hug Lexa.

"Please don't leave me." She begged, shaking as she attempted to calm down.

"I'm not going anywhere, Octavia. I'm right here." The woman replied, Clarke reaching over to help Octavia sit beside Lexa's hip before she left to greet her kids.

"You've always been the bravest of the two of us." Octavia said as she wiped under her eyes.

"You are braver than you're giving yourself credit for." Lexa replied, reaching up to wipe her sister's cheek. "We've had some rough patches in life, but look at where we are now. We're both happy, O. You are so happy."

This earned a slight laugh through Octavia's tears.

"Please keep my family smiling. They need you and Lincoln. You guys have made us all so much better just by existing and being there."

"I love you, Lex." Octavia cried harder as she leant forward and placed a kiss on Lexa's forehead, hugging her once more until she managed to calm herself enough to face the outside group.

Once Octavia left Clarke brought in Indie and Finlay, both of whom were over the moon to see their mama once again.

"Ama!" Indie exclaimed, grasping out for her mama and giggling when she finally touched the woman on the bed.

"Hi, my babies. Look at those Christmas pajamas." She said proudly. Reaching out to tuck some of Finaly's curls from his face. She loved those curls so much.

"When are you coming home, mama?" Finlay asked, playing with her fingers as he spoke.

"When I'm better, baby." Lexa replied weakly, knowing very well that it wasn't entirely true what she just told her son. "Hey, do you guys know how much I love you?" Indie squealed and opened her arms wide to show how much her mama loved her.

"Dis much." She said proudly, making Lexa laugh.

"Yeah, rascal. That much. You two are the funniest, kindest little souls I have ever met. Can I get some kisses before you go home to bed?" She asked, the kids gently giving her a kiss before being helped off the bed.

"Love you, mama." Finlay said as he waved, telling Indie to do the same.

"Ove, Ama!"

With that Clarke brought them out and brought in Jude right after, Zorro eager to see his owner.

"Look at my boys."

"Hi, Mama." Jude placed a kiss on his mom's cheek while Zorro curled up by her feet, much to her amusement.

"You were the first kid that your mom and I met, and you came into this world crying. I don't want to leave it seeing you cry again. Can you try to do that for me?"

Jude's eyes instantly flooded with tears as he crumbled into the chair behind him. "I'm not ready for you to go, mama." He said, shaking his head.

"I'm not leaving, Jude. At least I'm not trying to. You know I would fight for you and your siblings and your mom. You guys are my whole world." She took his hand and gave it a squeeze. "Sometimes we can fight and fight and in the end we may not win, but that doesn't mean we didn't try. I want you to try and give your all in everything you do, Jude. You have to promise me that you are going to go through life and be able to look at your mistakes and say, I may not have gotten that one, but I went down fighting. That's all that'll ever matter."

It took a moment for the boy to nod before he wiped his tears and hugged his mama close, trying to remember how it felt being held by her again before it was Sophie's turn.

The brunette came in already sobbing, reaching for Lexa much like she did when she was little.

"Hi, Princess."

"Do I have to say goodbye?" Her daughter asked in a croak.

"No, but I do want to tell you something." Lexa carefully brushed away some of Sophie's messy hair. "You know how when you were sick and I would stay home with you from school? We'd watch a bunch of sappy romance movies. You always said to me, mama I want someone to love me that much one day. But I don't just want you to find someone who loves you so deeply and so powerfully even the earth stops spinning, I want you to share your love because you, my beautiful baby girl, you love with no limits. You only see a person and nothing more. You are so special in that sense because the world needs more people like you. It needs more people who can love and be loved." This broke both of the them, creating tears to fall quickly from both eyes.

"I'll never love anyone more than I love you, mama." Sophie croaked out, closing her eyes as her mama wiped her cheeks. She would do anything to stay by her side forever, but Lexa was getting tired and Rowen was next to say goodnight.

"Hi, fishy."

"Mama, why's everyone crying?" The blonde asked as she sat beside her mama and enjoyed the feel of the woman's fingers brushing over her blonde locks.

"They're just a little sad, waterbug. You know, every time I went to watch your meets I felt like the proudest person on the planet. You have so much potential, Rowen. You were born to be great and to do amazing things. I can't wait to see you win gold in the Olympics one day."

"You really think I'll make it?" The blonde asked, a smiling taking over her face.

"You can do anything, and I will be right beside you, cheering you on even if you can't hear me. You are meant to be amazing, I knew that from the moment I laid my eyes on you."

"You're the most amazing person though, mama."

"Not as much as you." The mother playfully bantered back, thankfully earning a laugh and more smiles from her girl before it was Willow's turn.

The girl entered with her arms around herself and sobs consuming her.

"If you're going to say goodbye, I really don't want to hear it." She warned as she stood by the door. She was scared and Lexa could tell.

"I'm not saying goodbye, ladybug. Come sit with me. I miss you." The woman offered her hand and Willow froze a moment before approaching and taking the extended hand.

"Please don't leave me, mama." The young girl pleaded.

"You know what I see when I look at you, Will?" The girl shook her head. "I see a person who worries because she doesn't want anyone else to have to fear anything. I see a little girl with the weight of the world on her shoulders, but she carries it proudly. I see my baby, looking up at me with those gorgeous blue eyes that have nothing but love and wisdom in them. Willow, I don't want you to ever think anything less of yourself. You are extraordinary in all you do, and you can think differently for however long you want, but one day you will see just how special you are and I hope that you will give this world the privilege of meeting that person. You are my sunshine. You are my ladybug. You are everything that makes this world beautiful."

"Why is this so hard?" The younger girl asked as she rested next to her mother for a moment.

"I don't know, ladybug. But I do know that I love you more than the stars and moon and I can't wait to see what amazing things you do one day."

~.~.~

It was close to 9pm when the group left, Zorro refusing to leave the foot of the bed until Lincoln finally carried him out despite the angry growls he received.

The blonde was lying next to her wife, the brunette resting her head over her love's chest as she listened to the gentle thump of her heart.

"You are the greatest thing in my life, Clarke."

"I thought the kids were." The blonde replied, playing with a curl that was on her chest before stroking the mane of hair surrounding her once again.

"You're the reason I have them. But you, my beautiful, brave wife… I don't know where I would be without you."

Clarke chewed her lip as she swallowed back her tears. There had been far too many tears these past few days. She wanted this moment with her wife to be one to remember.

"Remember when the twins were two and I brought them to visit you at work while they were dressed in mini police uniforms?"

Lexa laughed lightly at the memory, "We have all those pictures of them in my cruiser with their little badges showing and everything."

"All the kids wanted to be like you at some point. Their mama who went out to protect the world from the bad guys. I can see the appeal." Clarke said, smiling fondly.

"They're going to do great things one day."

"I wish you'd be by my side through it all." Clarke whispered.

"I will be. Somehow." Lexa glanced up and locked her green eyes with the blue eyes of her wife. "You're so beautiful."

"Always a charmer." The blonde replied, taking a moment to draw her finger over her wife's face. "I want to draw you."

"You haven't done that in a while." Lexa said with slight amusement.

"I sketched the kids all the time."

"And before them, I was your muse."

"How could you not be? Everything about you is amazing."

Lexa's eyes drooped slightly as she became sleepier. However, she refused to fall asleep because the sight of her wife was too hard to let go of.

"I love you so much, baby." The blonde said, leaning forward to place a kiss on her wife's lips.

"I love you, too." Lexa replied between kisses, ignoring the pain in her chest as her breathing grew labored and her heart began to slow. "Don't be afraid."

When they both rested the time came, the line on the heart monitor switched patterns and signified the new life that came when a doctor would come in to check on the noise.

* * *

 **Hey... So I'm going to post Chapter 26 right after this so then you don't kill me. I think you'd really like it if you read it so please don't stop reading just yet.**

 **Remember who's side I'm on.**

 **-Valentina**


	26. Chapter 26 - Never Letting Go Again

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 26**  
 **Never Letting Go Again**

"Clarke." Octavia ran towards the woman who was sobbing on the hallway floor, just outside the room where Lexa laid.

The sound of her name brought her head up as she rapidly got to her feet and reached for the other woman. "O." She managed to say as she was wrapped in an embrace by the other crying woman.

"What happened?" Octavia managed to ask, still clinging to her sister's wife.

"We didn't hear it happen. The doctor swung by in the morning and ran off to get a few others before they all evaluated the monitors. She was so much better, O. Her body accepted the liver and her stats shot up to near perfection."

"Oh my god." Octavia said with a smile on her face as she continued to cry from her joy.

"The doctors are running some more tests right now but they want to get her moving around as soon as possible."

"The kids begged me to bring them but when you called I wasn't sure what had happened. They're going to be so happy."

"Clarke, you may come back in." Oscar said with joy overflowing him.

"How does everything look?"

"Perfect. She's as healthy as can be and if she keeps improving we can have her out of here before the New Year. Now get in there, she wants to go walk." Clarke went into the room and ran to her wife who was sitting up in bed with her legs hanging over the edge. She brought them into a deep kiss as tears of joy and laughter tried to break them apart.

"O's here." Clarke whispered, pointing behind herself to the awaiting brunette.

"Hey, sis." Lexa offered an open arm and embraced the woman who instantly clung to her like when they were kids.

"I'm so glad you're okay."

"I feel so much better." Lexa admitted, reaching up to stroke some of Clarke's hair behind her ear.

"Do you want to go walk around a bit? The doctor said it'll be good for you and you would benefit from some fresh air."

"I could also benefit from some sun. My poor tan has gone away." The brunette pouted, earning laughs from around her.

"Let's get you into some clothes and we'll head out for a bit." Clarke grabbed a pair of her own sweats and a long shirt that Octavia had packed for her to stay with Lexa, bringing them to her wife who sat with a smile on her face.

Before she made a move to help her change, Clarke stood before the woman and held her face, taking a moment to admire the gorgeous brunette that was her wife and her survivor.

"How could I have almost lost you?" She whispered, stroking her thumbs over the cheekbones of her beloved.

"I told you I wasn't going anywhere."

And that was a promise she planned to uphold forever.

~.~.~

"I'm going for a run." Willow called through the house, knowing someone would have heard her.

"Wait, Will." Linc called back, coming down stairs with two wet kids in each arm as towels were falling off of them slowly. "Where are you going?"

"I don't know."

"Well you can't just leave." The man said, setting Finlay down and then Indie before readjusting their towels to stay on right.

"But I want to run." The girl said with defiance, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Please work with me here, Will. I still have to clean these kids and Rowen needs a new swimsuit before next week-"

"I don't see how that effects me." This caught Lincoln attention as he froze with his work on the little ones and looked up at the girl.

"Okay you need to lose the attitude-"

"Why?" She asked back, still not fazed by her uncle's frustration.

"Because, Willow, I said so. Now stop cutting me off."

"I want to run." Willow repeated.

"No. That's final."

"I want to!"

"No, no way. I'm not dealing with you having a tantrum. Go back upstairs, get changed and find something else to do in the house."

"No!"

"Willow-"

"Shut up, uncle Lincoln! I want to run." As if to put the cherry on the top of her tantrum, Willow stomped her foot on the ground.

"Soph!" Lincoln called up the stairs, holding a stare down with his niece. "Sophie!" He tried again.

"Yeah?" The teenager finally came downstairs, suddenly aware of the bitter tension between the two.

"Help me with the kids, will you? Willow thinks she can get her way by throwing a tantrum."

"I am not throwing a tantrum!"

"Lower your voice." Lincoln warned, his own tone leveled yet surprisingly strong.

"Wait is that why she was screaming so much? You want to go running, Will?"

"Yeah but suddenly I'm not allowed to." Willow replied bitterly, however she looked close to giving in and going to her room to mope.

"How about I take her, uncle Linc?" Lincoln thought about the suggestion for a moment, glancing between Sophie and Willow before noticing the way Willow feared more than she was admitting.

"Okay. Sure. Take your phone and answer if I call." He said, once again lifting the little ones into his arms before returning upstairs.

"Just let me get changed and we can go wherever you want." Sophie said, patting Willow on the back before racing upstairs to quickly dress in her workout gear.

Soon the two sisters were jogging down the block, Willow leading them through various streets until they got to the racetrack she has grown to find peace in within three months of running.

However, past the track Willow continued to run down a hill trail which landed the sisters at a beach area, secluded from the higher ground by walls of rocks.

"How'd you find this one?" Sophie asked as the two plopped themselves on the sand and sighed out from the vigorous run they'd just endure.

"Raven showed me. I was having a bad day a while ago and couldn't run without panicking, so she took us down here and she talked to me instead."

"Was it when mama left?"

"The day after." Willow replied, looking to her sand covered legs. "I didn't mean to yell at uncle Linc."

"I'm sure he knows that."

"I just- it's so- I can't-" and then she was sobbing. Despite the world shaking news that her mama was going to be okay a mere ten hours after she was told she would never see her again, Willow couldn't contain herself.

"Hey, shh." Sophie wrapped an arm over her sister's shoulder and pulled her close.

"Why does this keep happening to me?" Willow asked in despair, holding her head between her hands.

"Because you're scared."

"No, this is always happening! I can't control these feelings and I'm so done with it."

"Okay, just relax for a minute." Sophie coaxed, stroking back her sister's loose hair that had fallen from her ponytail.

"I miss mom and mama, why can't they just come home?"

"I don't know, Will. I miss them too."

~.~.~

Five days later Lexa was discharged from the hospital on New Year's Eve, Clarke carrying their bags of clothing and the paper bag of countless prescriptions that she'd need to take for the next three months.

"Are you excited?" The blonde asked as she shut the trunk and walked her wife to the front seat.

"Of course. My home, and kids, and good food. How could anyone be discouraged?"

"You're forgetting something." Clarke replied, offering a wink as she waited for Lexa to snap her seatbelt in place.

"I could never forget being able to sleep with you in our warm, comfy bed." Lexa pressed a kiss to Clarke's cheek before allowing her to shut the door and head for the driver's side.

They drove home with music playing lightly through the speakers for the twenty-minute drive. However they were delayed slightly due to the heavy LA traffic during rush hour.

"Hey, Clarke?"

"Hmm?" The blonde took a glance at her wife before looking back at the road.

"Should I be worried about the kids? Like Indie and her seizures?"

"Not really. She's being medicated for the epilepsy and shouldn't have another seizure for a long while so long as we keep on top of her doctor appointments and medicating."

"And Soph?"

"What about her?"

"That boy didn't break her heart, did he?" The car got silent a moment before Clarke responded.

"She suggested they split up after you got shot. She was stressed out with everything going on and didn't want him to make the first move. In other words, she broke his heart before he could break her's."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"She didn't want you to worry about anything. Besides, O did a great job at helping her through it."

"We've been terrible at parenting these past few weeks, huh?"

"Absent parenting. We're the best." Clarke replied sarcastically, taking Lexa's hand as they hit a read light. "Hi." She said with a whisper of a smile on her face.

"Hi, gorgeous."

"Well get back to normal. I promise."

"I don't doubt that one bit. Our family is the best at bouncing back." Lexa replied, feeling less distraught about the news she previously heard.

They drove the last five minutes silently, hands still in one another's before they finally pulled into the driveway where the family awaited.

Once parked Lexa exited the car and went to hug everyone while Clarke took the bags and followed them inside.

"Where's Willow?" Lexa had asked just as she closed the door behind Clarke. Indie nuzzled close to her neck as she spoke, but she didn't mind one bit.

"She's reading in her room." Octavia said, placing Finlay on the ground who previously requested to be held to he could hug Lexa better.

"Why on earth-"

"Hey, Clarke it's fine. Let her have her time." Lexa said, reaching for her wife's now empty hand.

"You just came home after months away, and weeks in the hospital. That's not appropriate."

"And she's working that out in herself. If we get mad and drag her down here it'll only lead to a larger argument."

"I'm sorry, we tried to get her down here." Lincoln offered, rubbing the back of his neck.

"No way, don't apologize. Neither of you did anything wrong. No come on, I'm hungry and want to hear all your stories." Lexa took her kids with her to the kitchen and allowed Indie onto the floor before pulling Sophie aside.

"Hey, your mom told me about Thomas. I'm sorry, sweetheart."

"I wasn't that bad. He was understanding about everything and said that he wishes you the best at getting better. It was a good choice."

"As long as you feel that way I'm glad." Lexa tugged the girl into an embrace, kissing her temple as she squeezed the girl a little tighter.

"I love you, mama."

"I love you too, my princess."

~.~.~

"So, umm, Linc and I've got some news." Octavia said as the family sat around for dinner, which was simple food consisting of chicken and potatoes, both of which Lexa could stomach with her medication.

"Oh, right." Lincoln hopped up and ran out the back door, allowing Zorro in in the process.

"What is it aunt Tavia?" Jude asked as he shoveled more chicken onto his plate. The boy could eat, and with his lack of doing so while his mama was in the hospital he had to catch up.

"Well, Linc and I first have a gift. Come in!" With those words Lincoln entered through the door with a large, fluffy, black and white puppy at hand, a huge smile on his face as both mothers looked on in absolute fear when their children instantly reacted with huge smiles. They knew not to scream because that would scare the small creature.

"It's a late Christmas gift. This little dudet was born about a month after we returned from our rescue and her litter mates were all adopted but we wanted to keep one for you guys." He scratched the ear of the large puppy and continued. "She is a newfoundland and bernese mountain dog mix. She'll be pretty big one day. Sorry Lex and Clarke."

"We trusted you guys not to pull that one again." Lexa began to chaste, thinking about the next few years of messes thanks to the puppy.

"Come on, Lex. Look at this face." Lincoln wiggled the happy puppy towards his sister in law before the woman finally gave in and took the pup into her arms.

"I hate how you do this to me." Lexa cooed the creature she held, allowing it to lick her face as Clarke scratched its ears.

"May we keep it, moms?" Rowen asked as she fidgeted in her chair, clearly wanting to play with the puppy.

"She needs a good name. Nothing fluffy." Lexa said, pointing a look at the small blonde who laughed.

"I won't name it cupcake. I'm not six." The eight year old argued, earning a few laughs.

"We should all think of something and then take a vote." Clarke said, knowing her kids would agree to the idea.

There were a multidtude of 'okays' until someone finally begged to see the puppy.

"Go play with her in the living room." Lexa said, smiling brightly at the joy on her kids faces.

"Thank you moms! Thanks uncle Linc and aunt Tavia!" There was a frenzy of hugs and attempts to cuddle the small pup until a comment broke through the sound.

"I'm pregnant!" Octavia blurted out, the whole room freezing together.

* * *

 **SURPRISE!**

 **-Valentina**


	27. Chapter 27 - Happy Ideas

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 27**  
 **Happy Ideas**

It was once all the kids were asleep that Lexa got a chance to sit with her sister while Clarke went to get the proper dosage of each prescription for her and Lincoln stood out-front with the dogs who were getting a final chance to go to the washroom. The family was still out of sorts after everything, so the celebration of the new year wasn't being too hyped that evening.

"You're scared." She said, taking Octavia's hand in her own.

"I'm fine." The woman said, her tone evident with the lie it contained.

"I was scared too when I found out, and it was completely planned out to happen."

"It's just unexpected."

"And?" Lexa continued to push, knowing it took a certain limit for Octavia to reach until the entire truth spilled out.

"And nothing. It was an accident and Lincoln and I are capable of supporting a kid."

"I don't doubt that one bit. Are you okay with it?"

"Of course I'm not okay with it, Lex. How do I take care of baby? My own mom wasn't there to raise me! I don't know how to be a parent when I never had one of my own."

"Don't say that, O. You are totally capable of raising that baby. Sweetie, look at my own kids. Clarke and I didn't do this on our own. You and Linc are amazing people who will be amazing parents to that very lucky baby."

"What if I screw up?"

"We all screw up." Clarke piped up as she entered with a glass of water and a handful of pills. "Being a parent means you are likely to mess up more than you are to get things right. It comes with the territory." The blonde shot a wink to the brunette as she handed off the pills to her wife.

"I don't want it to hate me."

"It won't hate you." Lexa contradicted as she popped one pill back and swallowed it with water. Another seven rested in her hand.

"But what if it does."

"Finlay was reading back in the summer," Clarke began to say as she glared at her wife who shot a look down at the pills she was hesitant to take due to their size. "And I told him to stop reading so we could eat dinner and he got so angry that he flat out screamed how much he hated me. They always bring up a reason to say the words, but they never truly hate you. Take your pills, Lex. I can see those faces."

"Doesn't it hurt?" Octavia asked, addressing the blonde.

"Yeah, initially, but they find a way to make it up with those gorgeous eyes and amazing hugs. Having kids is a beautiful gift, O. Don't ever worry about not being good enough."

"Finished!" Lexa cheered, taking a glance between the two due to her distraction of managing to down each pill.

"Good job, babe." Clarke placed a kiss to her wife's temple, taking the cup back before moving to the kitchen to rinse out the glass.

"That baby is going to be so lucky, sis." Lexa said, offering a smile.

"Promise to be there with me through it all?"

"Of course. I practically came back from the dead, there's no way I'm doing that again." However the joke didn't settle well with Octavia who made a face of disapproval. "Too soon?"

"Yeah. Just a bit."

"Hey, I can't wait to meet my niece or nephew. You and Linc would surely have a gorgeous baby!" Lexa gushed, earning a grin from her sister.

"Linc was really excited. He has a picture of the sonogram pinned up on the boards in the gym and shelter." Octavia explained, pulling up her phone to show the photo she saved of their 10-week-old shrimp.

"Aww, now that is cute!"

~.~.~

At four am the whole house was sound asleep, Lexa curled into Clarke's embrace as she got the best nights rest she's received in months.

However the sudden noise in the hallway sent the brunette jumping in the blonde's arms, waking her up in the process.

"What's wrong?" Clarke questioned as she rubbed her eyes and rubbed a hand over Lexa's back.

"Someone's in the house." The two listened intently before Clarke shook her head and sighed.

"It's Willow. She does this every night. When you were gone she would sneak downstairs, drink a glass of water, and then curl up on the single in the living room with the house phone for an hour in case you'd call."

"Should I go check on her?"

"No, this is comfortable for her. If we disturb it she may regress, or that's what Dr. Reynolds presumes at least." Clarke managed to tug Lexa back into her arms before they cuddled close to one another.

"She's angry at me."

"No, Lex. She's coping. She'll come around."

"When?" The brunette questioned as she twirled a piece of Clarke's blonde hair.

"When she's ready. We'll intervene when she goes too far. For now if we push she'll crawl back into her shell." Clarke smiled lightly as she heard a puppy whine from the lower level, knowing very well the brunette had taken the duties of taking the nameless puppy to pee since it was sleeping in her bed with her. "Maybe Linc and Octavia weren't doing such a bad thing when getting that puppy. Willow may have just made a new friend."

"I'm still going to kill, Octavia." Lexa said with a small laugh.

"Just dress the baby in a bunch of pink if it's a girl. She'd go nuts."

"Very true. There is no such thing as frilly and fluffy in my sister's world."

"Too badass for it." Clarke replied, scrunching her nose when Lexa turned her head up to look at her.

"I love you."

"I love you too, beautiful."

~.~.~

A week later found the family back into the routine of school and work, except for Lexa who was off work for the next three to five months, depending on how her doctor deemed her health during the every second week check up.

"Come on my beauties, that fun building where information is crammed into your precious heads awaits!" Lexa teased as she called to her kids who hurried to get ready before breakfast.

Zorro walked upstairs to find the other people while the rather large puppy barked and nipped at Lexa's sweat pants.

"I know, Astrid. Someone will come feed you soon." The brunette informed the pup, knowing Willow took great joy in being privileged to feed the dogs and take them for a run when her moms allowed.

The ball of fur by Lexa's feet earned the name Astrid after Finlay claimed to want a star name and Sophie suggesting the name after various offerings.

"Will! Astrid is getting restless." The mother informed as she tossed a bacon scrap to the eager pup earning giggles from Indie and Finlay who sat at the table with their plates half eaten.

"Hey, no bacon for her." Clarke scolded playfully, approaching her wife and placing multiple kisses on her lips before making a move to eat before work.

"How opposed would you be if I swung by during you lunch and took you somewhere?"

"You don't have to do that." Clarke said, Lexa shaking her head at the response.

"No way, I get to treat you like a Queen after the amazing wife you've been for all these years. When's your break?" Lexa questioned, leaving no room for an argument.

"One." Clarke finally revealed with a smirk as she looped her arms around Lexa's shoulders and kissed her once again. "Are you bringing Zorro and Astrid?"

"I probably should unless you want me to come home and find that little mess eating up our walls."

"So we should eat somewhere with an outdoor seating?"

"I will take care of everything. Just have your beautiful butt outside of that hospital at one and I will do all the work from there." The kids began to pour into the kitchen from there, breaking the two up but not splitting them as they stuck to their side of the counter, hand in hand.

"Did you take your medicine, Will?" Clarke questioned as she recounted giving Indie her's once she woke up and Lexa doing the same so the little girl wasn't so opposed to doing it.

"Yeah." The girl replied simply, lifting Astrid into her arms and moving out the backdoor to feed the dogs. Zorro was quick to follow.

"Do we trust that?" Lexa asked as she handed Rowen a napkin.

"I guess we'd have to, right?"

"Back to level one, I guess."

"Alright, kiddies. Eat and then go brush your teeth. I'm going to drive you to school." Clarke informed the kids who bustled around, allowing Lexa to slip away and head to the coffee machine. "Hey, you aren't allowed caffeine, Lex." She quickly reminded, moving to grab the granola bar box that Rowen struggled to reach.

"I know, I know. No need for that depressive reminder." Lexa muttered her reply, grabbing a travelers mug for her wife and filling it with coffee.

"Then what are you doing over in this corner?" The blonde questioned, wrapping her arms around Lexa's waist and placing a kiss on the back of her neck.

"I'm making _you_ coffee, my love." The brunette twisted in her wife's embrace and handed the mug over, smiling before a kiss was placed on her lips.

"Thank you. Please don't do any housework. You're supposed to be resting. In fact, you should head upstairs to sleep a bit more."

"But I like being with you and the kids." Lexa whined slightly, earning a grin from Clarke.

"Fine, but once we're gone you have to go to bed."

"Deal."

"Ama!" Indie pulled on Lexa's leg and lifted her arms up, making the two split so then Lexa could scoop up the toddler.

"Hi, pretty girl." A kiss was placed on her nose while Clarke continued to move around the kitchen, ushering the kids to clean their dishes before heading upstairs.

"Banana-na-na-na." Indie explained, pointing to what she had just eaten.

"Was it yummy?"

"Ummy." Indie agreed, nodding her head as she snuggled close to Lexa's neck.

"You excited for school?"

"YEA!" The small blonde cheered, clapping her hands.

"Alright gang, we're leaving in five minutes. Teeth, bags, and then car!" Clarke said, taking scrapes from the table and tossing them to the dogs before taking Finlay and Indie to go brush their teeth.

Lexa got to work on the left over dishes, glancing back at Willow who finished up her food since feeding the dogs proved harder than most mornings.

"Almost done there, ladybug?" She asked as she continued to rinse a pan.

"Yeah." Willow agreed, poking at her bagel before rising from her seat and placing the plate on the sink edge.

"Is everything alright?"

"Sure." Lexa disliked the one answer responses but knew their conversation was soon to be cut off by the departure time Clarke had set.

"Why don't you let your puppy out, huh? I'll let the dogs back in once you guys leave." Willow did as instructed and picked up Astrid, nuzzling her close before going out back for a moment.

The family managed to get out of the house, but not before hugging Lexa close and getting her to promise to be there to pick them up from school.

Afterwards the brunette found herself with alone with the two dogs, and an empty home that would soon be filled with her beautiful family.

The idea made her smile.

* * *

 **YAY A HAPPY CHAPTER!**

 **-Valentina**


	28. Chapter 28 - Heartbreakingly Beautiful

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All right to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 28  
** **Heartbreakingly Beautiful**

Willow was restless. She could tell she was getting bad again and didn't know how to address it with anyone, not even Raven who had become a very large confident in her life.

Astrid was a good boost to her rather depressive state, however the pup did little to settle her inability to sleep, or eat properly. She could hardly look Lexa in the eye and she felt queasy every time she took her anti-depressants, forcing her to stop without her mothers knowledge. For a twelve year old, her life was certainly the most confusing, and frustrating. She simply wanted someone to understand her, however she closed herself up so tight that no one could shatter that barrier and reach her like before.

It was a vicious cycle in her life now: Go to bed at 8pm, wake up at 4, fall asleep at 5, and then begrudgingly rise when her mothers made her for school. From there she sat through her classes, spent lunches crying in the bathroom, and then ran or went to therapy right after 3. And so the cycle repeated, and the brunette was getting overwhelmed by it.

"Come on, Strid." She whispered to the puppy on her bed, making sure not to awaken Rowen as she crept out of the room and went to the kitchen. As usual she took a glass from the shelf and got some water before plopping onto the cool floor and allowing Astrid to curl up next to her.

Before the puppy she would sit in the living room, however now she sat on the floor, holding back tears as her thoughts weighed over her like a hundred pound weight.

Upstairs Lexa stirred in bed, having heard the same feet creeping through the halls as they've done for the past two weeks that she's been home.

Clarke slept through it, and Lexa no longer panicked because she knew it was her kid, therefore allowing the blonde to rest soundly. But Lexa still woke up, and she still wondered what happened downstairs as her little girl existed in her own bubble that had been keeping her out since she arrived back home.

The brunette laid awake along with her child, listening for the familiar shuffling that was so practiced that it became a rhythmic pattern. However, an abnormality occurred when a bark was made and there were no attempts to hush Astrid.

Carefully Lexa detached herself from Clarke and crept downstairs, peering through the living room to find it empty before looking to the kitchen where Willow sat with her legs drawn and face shoved into her knees as Astrid tried to unravel her.

Lexa moved to her daughter and sat next to her, not saying a word for a moment before placing an arm over her shoulders and pulling her into her side.

"I've got you, ladybug." She said into the child's hair, allowing her to cry as they sat on the kitchen floor. Now wasn't the time to talk about feelings. That would have to wait for morning, when Lexa could send the rest of the family out and keep her twelve year old home to finally burst her protective bubble, and work through what was bothering her like she did months before.

~.~.~

"Are you sure you'll be okay with her alone?" Clarke asked as she rubbed her hands up and down Lexa's arms.

"Of course. She needs to rest first and then I'll talk to her. If you can get the kids from school though, that would probably be great help."

"Of course. I'll get them at three. Take care of our, baby girl."

"Always." The two kissed briefly before Clarke took the kids out to get strapped into the car and Lexa went into the kitchen to clean.

As she put aside the dishes she knocked down the medicine box, sending the bottles to the floor. With a sigh she began to pick them up, making sure all the caps stayed sealed and that she gathered all eleven bottles. Eight for her, one for Indie, and two for Willow. She placed them aside then furrowed her eyebrows at the anti depressants, quickly scanning the bottle to see that the refill date was a week from now but clearly containing more pills than it had to.

She didn't want to accuse Willow of lying about taking the medicine, however she knew she should ask, so she kept the bottle with her as she continued her cleaning, awaiting for the brunette who slept upstairs to awaken.

An hour passed before Willow finally arrived in the kitchen, sleepily holding Astrid as she avoided looking at Lexa. Astrid was set free allowing the pup to attack Zorro with kisses.

"Good morning, ladybug." Lexa greeted, trying to smile at her daughter who pulled the bagels from the shelf and took one from the bag.

"Morning."

"How was your sleep?"

"Fine."

"Are you going to say more to me than just one word?" Lexa received a shrug. "You're angry." The woman stated knowingly.

"No."

"Yes."

"I'm not."

"You are. I can tell."

"Stop!" Willow demanded, slamming her hand on the table angrily as she finally looked up to her mama.

"I can see the anger in you, Willow. You've been holding all of this in and it's building up." Lexa noticed the slight quiver in Willow's chin as she attempted to distract herself with the table surface. "You don't even look at me anymore-"

"BECAUSE YOU ALMOST DIED!" Willow screamed so loud that even the dogs skittered away in fear of the angered tone.

Lexa froze at the words and held her daughter's blue eyes with her green ones, watching as the anger turned to sadness and tears flooded them instantly.

"You almost left me and you promised to be there- you promised to always protect me- but you- you-" And then the sobbing began, sending Willow to the floor like her first major panic attack, as she clutched her chest and attempted to breath. "You lied, mama. You broke your promise." She squeaked out, flinching when her mama crouched at her level and made a move to smooth back her hair.

"I know, baby." Lexa said in a whisper, her own voice aching with her own realization how terrible everything was. "I know."

"I can't do it. I can't be brave."

"But you are, lovey. You can handle anything."

"I couldn't handle losing you."

"You didn't lose me." Lexa crept closer and sat close to the kid with her legs crossed.

"But you-"

"I lost control. And I was almost taken from you. But ladybug, I'm here. Look. I'm right here, sitting in front of you. Let me hold you, baby girl, you haven't let me do that in a long time." And finally Willow gave way, falling into her mama's embrace as she sobbed and clung to Lexa with all her might. "Shh. I won't let you go."

"I'm so scared."

"I am too." With careful hands Lexa lightly pressed Willow back and stroked her hair from her tears drenched face. "Hey, look at me." The blue eyes glanced up unsurely. "If there is one thing in this world that I would never want you to be, it is untrusting with me. You never have to be afraid of me, Will. I would never intentionally leave you and break our promises."

"But you did."

"I didn't, baby girl." Lexa drew her hand up and down Willow's back and chest in hopes of relaxing her labored breathing. "I did everything the doctor suggested, no matter how much it hurt, just to try to be there with you and your siblings. All that pain was a reminder that maybe, just maybe I'd get to hold you in my arms without the worry that I couldn't do it the next day."

"What if you leave again?"

"I won't. I would never try to leave you again, pretty girl. Never, ever, ever." Willow curled back into Lexa's embrace and relaxed if just for a moment before the reality of her panic came running back through her like, like a truck had smacked her square in the chest.

"I can't breath, mama." She said as she coughed and sobbed some more.

"Okay. Shh, let me get your medicine." Lexa helped her girl up and into the living room before returning to the kitchen for the panic attack medicine and a glass of water. It took a moment for Willow to get the medicine down between her tears and sobbing, but soon enough she was getting drowsy and Lexa managed to get her to cuddle close before they both drifted off on the couch.

~.~.~

"She still didn't eat dinner." Lexa sighed to her wife as she leant against the bathroom doorframe and watched the blonde wash her face.

"You have to remember it's going to take time, Lex." Clarke said, rubbing the face soap over her cheeks as she leant over the sink.

"Do all of them feel that way? Are they angry at me?"

"No. They all had different perspectives on what happened. They're all over the moon that you're still okay."

"Why just Willow then?"

"Because she blames herself more than she'd like to admit." Clarke stood upright and began to dry her freshly washed face. "They're all coping, Lex. In many different ways.

"Should we consider taking them to see someone? I mean it was a really hard time."

"It was." Clarke agreed, taking Lexa's hand in her's and leading her off to bed. "But we can't force them to do anything they don't want to do. If we really want to we can talk to them first and then see if Dr. Reynolds has any suggestions."

"Will we ever get back to normal?" Lexa asked in a pained tone, eyes full of tears as she spoke.

"We make new normals, love. Never forget that we are capable of adjusting and understanding." Those words gave Lexa a sense of comfort before she leant forward and captured Clarke's lips in a kiss. Her hands tangled into blonde hair as she backed them the rest of the way to the bed and spun around, sending Clarke down first since she wouldn't be able to withstand the weight over her quiet yet.

Her lips left gentle kisses along Clarke's jaw, moving downward to her neck and settling on a spot that made the blonde wither every time. Lexa's hands made their way under Clarke's shirt and soon she was straddling the now sitting up woman while removing the top, leaving her bare.

"I missed you. So. Very. Much." The brunette said as she drew her kisses back to the lips before her and captured them once more.

"Lex." Clarke managed to say between kisses, lightly pressing the woman back. Lexa continued however, not faltering in her moves as she reached for Clarke's pajama bottoms. "Baby, seriously. Stop." And that broke them apart, Clarke looking concerned while Lexa looked like a kicked puppy.

They were silent for a moment before Lexa moved herself off of Clarke's lap and handed her the discarded shirt. The tension only grew as the time they did not speak increased.

"Do you not think I'm pretty anymore?" Lexa finally asked in a broken whisper, her tears falling immediately.

"What?- no. Lex, that's not it." Clarke quickly said, shaking her head as she reached for Lexa who moved away.

"You do. You haven't touched me since I've gotten back."

"You were in the hospital." Clarke reminded, feeling bad for making her wife cry.

"I've been out for two weeks. The doctor said I could do anything I usually did so long as I didn't lift anything heavy. You haven't attempted to do anything with me."

"Baby, it's not that I don't think you aren't pretty-"

"My body just isn't pretty anymore, is that it? I have all these ugly scars now." Lexa began to cry harder as she stood up from the bed and made her way to the washroom.

"No. Wait." Clarke followed but was stopped by the door in her face, the cries on the other end not ceasing as the blonde tried to call her back out. "Come on, Lex. Please talk to me for a minute."

But Lexa didn't want to talk. She had tossed off her shirt and was staring at herself in the mirror with a look of pure disgust. There was a scar near her eyebrow, the smallest one to exist yet still visible to her and the rest of the world. Then there was the mutilation of the right side of her chest, where all the transplants and surgeries took place in their own locations. She had three thick scars and none of them looked pleasant. But it was the single hole scar that made her cry the most by just a glance. The bullet wound had closed into a pinched scar of bright pink flesh, a constant reminder that her world was nearly swiped from between her fingers and the reason why now her family now felt like strangers when the last month was brought up in conversation.

"Baby- please." The plea was small from the other side but it broke through Lexa's mental barricade, sending her into a sobbing state as she leant over the sink and clung to the counter edge with white knuckles.

She had lost control, and that was something Lexa Woods never liked to lose.

Clarke took the key from the drawer of their dresser and got to work on the door, attempting to release the lock with the stick like key meant to fit through the small hole. Eventually she got it to click and pushed the door open, her heart breaking at the sight before her.

Carefully she moved behind Lexa's hunched form and wrapped her arms around her waist, pulling her back into her before the brunette finally stood upright and leant back into the embrace.

"I could never think of you as anything but beautiful, my love. Every time I get to look at you I get my breath taken away by just how much your beauty captivates me. You are so gorgeous, and these scars," The blonde ran a hand over the old wounds looking in the mirror at their reflection as she did. "these are a part of you. When I married you I vowed to love each and every part of you that came with our life together." Absentmindedly Clarke took her wife's wrist in her hand and drew a thumb over the ancient scars from her teenage mutilation. This reminded Lexa of the time when they were in university and she had a break down leading to Clarke kissing each scar that decorated her wrist. "You're mine, and I will always appreciate everything that you own."

"Even these scars?" Lexa asked in a pained whisper. Clarke did not reply, as she turned Lexa around and crouched down to face the abs of her wife and carefully decorated the stomach of her love with kisses that she most needed. The kisses that promised to make what was Lexa's her's as well.

"I love every bit of you, Lex. Especially the scars." Clarke rose once again and used her hands to dry Lexa's cheeks before wrapping her in a much-needed hug.

Being intimate would have to wait, and both knew that.

But this was good for them. The breaking down and building back was a well-known way for the two to get back to their special place of ultimate love and understanding. The accident had barricaded them slightly, but now they were back. And the reuniting was the most delicate and intimate thing in their lives at this moment.

* * *

 **Not everything is perfect, but that's the point of life.**

 **-Valentina**


	29. Chapter 29 - Protecting

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **WARNING!: There are crude names against gays and acts of abuse towards those of said sexuality. THIS IS NOT MY OPINION AND I WOULD NEVER SAY SUCH DISGUSTING** **PHRASES TOWARDS LGBTQ PEOPLE (Considering I'm one of them).**

 **Chapter 29  
Protecting**

"Clarke Griffin speaking." The blonde doctor had answered her phone during her shift and furrowed her eyebrows as the person on the other line spoke. "Of course. I'll get my wife to pick him up. Thank you."

Making quick work, Clarke sped dialed Lexa and waited for the woman to answer.

 _"Hey, sweetheart."_

"Hey. I just got a call from the twins principle. One of us needs to go down there but I'm scheduled to do surgery in thirty minutes. Can you go down there?"

 _"Of course. Why do I need to go, just to know what I'm walking into."_

"Your son got suspended."

~.~.~

To say Jude was a hot head was a bit of a far-fetched assumption. The boy was once known as the sweetest guy in the eleventh grade, however, after December he grew into a darker cloud and seemed more likely to be ticked off, something that the cruelest kids of his class seemed to take pleasure in.

Finally they had an in into taking a few jabs at the "amazing" Woods kids.

Hector Goninan was the first boy to take a whirl at pissing them off, aiming at the younger sister, Sophie who had also returned with a less than pleasant attitude.

"Hey, Sophie. I heard what happened over break." He had called out as she walked by. She chose to ignore him, however the boy continued. "Did you mommy get shot at? Probably wasn't an accident like everyone says." He sneered out, earning some laughs from his terrible group of misfits. "Dem gays gotta go." He said, finally pissing the girl off enough.

"Shut up, Hector!" She demanded, whirling around as she approached.

"Why should I? Is your cop mommy going to come and arrest me? Maybe I can shot her too."

"You're sick! Who the fuck jokes about that?!" Sophie demanded, feeling the urge to punch the snide dick right in the face.

"Looks like someone is an angry kitty." Hector scrunched his nose up and began to laugh again.

"Fuck you." Sophie made a move to leave, knowing that Hector's only goal was to piss her off until she'd do something she'd regret. She didn't need to get suspended for hitting him, he wasn't worth it.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?" A hand wrapped around her wrist and whirled her back around, eliciting a slight cry from the girl who cringed from his aggressive grip.

"Let go." She demanded, hoping a bruise wouldn't show.

"Why should I?"

"Leave me alone, Hector." She barked out, trying to shake him off. His grip increased making her groan and wither slightly.

"Maybe I should prevent you from becoming one of them. Wouldn't want to know what kind of kid comes from two fags."

"Shut up!" Sophie landed a hard punch on his chest but it did little to faze him.

"Sensitive much? I'm only joking."

"I will scream." The brunette threatened, simply earning a laugh.

"Sure you would. Scream as loud as you can. I want to see that." He twisted her wrist slightly, earning another whimper.

"Dude, don't break her wrist."

"What if I want to?" He snapped back to his friend who backed away from the angered boy. "Don't you dare cry. Your fag of a cop mom won't save you-"

"What the fuck did you just say?" Jude had rounded the corner as he saw the boy holding to his sister who cringed in his grip. The words pushed him over the edge as he approached the pair and swung an arm back, landing a hard punch to Hector's nose. A crunch was heard before a teacher spoke up.

"All of you, principle's office. Now."

Jude knew he was in for it.

~.~.~

"Mrs. Woods. Thank you for coming." Principal Jaha said, reaching a hand forward as Lexa accepted it.

"Of course. Is Jude all right? What happened?" She asked, following him into his office where not one teen, but two sat before the principal's desk. The two heads were clearly her own children, and she rose a suspicious eyebrow at the scene.

"Children, your mother is here." Jaha said, making both teens turn. Jude looked concerned and Sophie was crying. Both faces made Lexa's heart plummet.

"What happened, babies?" She asked, rushing over and squatting by both chairs.

"I'm sorry, mama. I got angry and broke Hector Goninan's nose. He was saying terrible things about you and mom and he was grabbing Sophie's arm." Jude motioned to the dark bruises wrapped around his twins wrist.

"Oh my god." Lexa said as her mouth hung open and her hands went to carefully address the injured arm.

"Ow. Please don't touch it." Sophie pleaded as her eyes filled with fresh tears.

"Sorry, baby. I'm sorry." Lexa said, standing up and placing kisses on their foreheads. "I hope that Hector boy is being dealt with properly."

"Jude broke his nose-"

"Jude was protecting his sister. He doesn't deserve to be suspended." Lexa quickly argued.

"Mrs. Woods, we do not condone violence here at Trikru High."

"Yet you condone verbal attacks and assault?" She quipped back, quickly cutting off Jaha before he could continue again. "Not only did my children have to hear hurtful comments about my wife and I, but my daughter may have a broken wrist, and my son will have a record while the other boy gets off clean."

"He is being punished ma'am." Jaha replied assertively.

"How?"

"Two weeks detention."

"Detention! Of all the things. My son gets suspended for three days but that kid gets to walk free after marking up my daughter and agitating my son. I hope you like lawsuits, Jaha because I see a major one settling over Trikru high."

"Can we reasonably talk over this, Mrs. Woods?"

"No. My children were harmed and are not being protected. Either deal with the Hector kid properly or I'll have my lawyer do it for you. Come one guys, let's go."

Lexa led the teens out of the school, stopping before entering her car so see their saddened faces.

"I'm sorry, mama." Sophie said, her tears falling as she cradled her arm.

"No, baby. That wasn't your fault. Come here" Lexa pulled the girl into her arms and held her a moment before noticing Jude standing in near tears. "Come here, buddy." She offered a hand and pulled him into the hug as well, stroking her heads as she spoke. "You guys did nothing wrong. You were brave, and doing what you had to do to protect each other. I couldn't be any prouder."

"Can we go home?" Sophie asked, her mama nodding in agreement before they all climbed into the car and drove back to the house.

"Why don't I make you some lunch?" Lexa asked as she followed the teens in and smiled when they greeted the dogs.

"Sure." Jude agreed, heading off the kitchen while Sophie went for the stairs.

"I just want to sleep right now. My arm sort of hurts."

"Do you want me to take you to the doctor?" Lexa took the injury of her child carefully and cringed at the sight.

"I don't like doctors." Sophie said as she shook her head. "I'm fine." She re-stated, taking her arm back before moving up to her room where she planned to sleep the pain away.

"Hey, Jude why don't you start on some grilled cheese? I'm going to call your mom real quick." Lexa pulled up her phone and dialed Clarke's number, hoping the woman hadn't gone into surgery quiet yet.

 _"Hey, Lex. Did you get Jude?"_ Clarke greeted, the sound of a tap in the background signifying her preparation for the surgery.

"I did. I also took Sophie home. A boy grabbed her wrist and was saying bad things about us to her before Jude broke his nose. I told Jaha to shove the suspension up his ass so long as the other kid isn't getting punished."

 _"He's not getting punished?"_ Clarke questioned, suddenly halting in her movements.

"Jude broke his nose so they gave Hector a two week detention and our son three days suspension. If Jaha doesn't fix this I'm sueing their asses."

 _"I can't blame you. How're they doing?"_

"Jude's fine, he's making lunch. Soph is in pain but she refuses to go to the doctor unless necessary so she's trying to sleep a bit. When you come home you can make the call on what happens."

 _"Alright. She's likely feeling pretty sick if it hurts so don't give her any food. Get some Tylenol and a bottle of water for her as well as some ice for fifteen minutes to help the swelling. I've got to go, Lex, but I promise to call right after to check up."_

"Of course. Good luck with the surgery. I love you."

 _"Love you too."_ Lexa hung up her cell and tossed it on the entrance table before moving to the kitchen where Jude was placing two grilled cheeses on the pan over the stove.

"Thanks for doing that, bud. I'm going to bring your sister some things and then I'll be right back down." She promised as she gathered the things that Clarke suggested and moved upstairs to the room where Sophie was currently balled up with her eyes scrunched in an attempt to sleep.

Lexa placed the things on the nightstand before sitting by her girl and moving her hair from her face.

"Hey Soph, I called mom and she said we can wait for her to see your wrist but she wants you to take some medicine and to ice your arm." The brunette nodded with her eyes still shut, taking a moment before forcing herself to sit up and taking the pill her mama offered along with the open water bottle.

"Thank you." She said as she took the Tylenol and rested back down.

"Here, let's put your arm on a pillow and put some ice on it." Lexa set the teenager's arm on a spare pillow and eased the ice pack over it before placing a blanket over the girl and leaving the room with a kiss on her forehead.

~.~.~

"Hey guys!" Clarke called through the house, welcomed by the scent of dinner being prepared. Astrid and Zorro attacked her with their goofy faces and wagging tails as she proceeded into the kitchen and found her wife at the stove with Jude beside her as they looked into a pot.

"It looks edible." Jude mumbled, earning a swat on his arm from Lexa.

"It smells edible, too." Clarke informed them as she joined them at the stove and stared into the pot. "Spaghetti?" She asked, glancing at the tomato sauce.

"Yup. I thought that was one food I was least likely to mess up." Lexa explained, placing a kiss on the blonde's cheek before moving to grab a bag of dry pasta.

"Hey, it doesn't taste bad." Jude commented, using the wooden spoon to take another bite.

"Success!" Lexa cheered, laughing when Indie danced around her due to her excitement. "How was work?" She asked Clarke once her excitement simmered out and she handed the pasta over to her son to boil.

"Long, but it was good. How're the kids?"

"Rowen is showering in the kids washroom and Will is in our washroom. Both had good days at school and even better times at practice." Lexa listed off, smiling fondly at her beautiful wife before they were disturbed by Finlay.

"Look, mommy! I got moved up another book level!" The boy explained, presenting the new story to his mom who beamed down at him.

"Good job, buddy! You are so smart." She praised, bending down to look at the book with him for a moment while people moved around the kitchen.

"By the way, Soph hasn't woken up since I picked them up at one. I didn't want to disturb her but I did change the ice twice."

"I'll go check on her after dinner." Clarke promised, knowing that if she did it before dinner they may have a crying teenager on their hands and a hospital trip. The blonde made her way over to Jude and rubbed his back as he stirred the boiling water. "I want you to know that I don't think you did anything wrong. While I don't condone hitting, I do understand that you were reacting to something that didn't settle well with you in the moment."

"I'm not sorry about it." Jude said, glancing at his mom slightly.

"You have every right not to be. You protected your sister and that is something your mama and I have been teaching you to do from the day you two were born."

"Is she going to be okay?" He asked, feeling bad for his twin who got the rougher end of the cruelty from Hector.

"I'll check on her later, but I'm sure it's bruising, if not a sprain at worse. She would be in a lot more pain if he broke it, and your mama would have his head if she found your sister in more pain than she already is in."

"Okay. I'm going to finish with the pasta. Mama would most likely burn it." Clarke laughed with her son before she moved over to set the table with her wife.

The family, minus Sophie, all ate and conversed over their day's activities, Lexa also bringing up how she would go with the little girls and the dogs for a walk while Clarke dealt with Sophie after their meal.

Jude took over dish duty with Fin as his little helper while everyone dispersed to their other tasks.

Clarke brought a glass of water and more ice with her as she went to Sophie's room and entered the darkened space to find her daughter curled in on herself. She carefully awoken her once she'd set everything aside and felt her heart break at the pained groan and whimper that passed Sophie's lips.

"Hi, sweetie. How're feeling?" The concerned doctor asked as Sophie finally gained her senses and moaned in discomfort.

"My arm hurts." She admits right off the bat, sitting up and looking to her bruised skin.

"Let me see." The doctor said, using her gentle fingers to hold up the girl's hand while her other hand went to the most tender spots. These emitted more whimpers from Sophie who tried to pull her hand away. "I'm sorry. I won't touch." Clarke promised, still holding the hand up but no longer touching the sensitive skin. "Open and close your hand into a fist." She instructed, watching the weak hold Sophie developed over her own fingers. "It's sprained. I'm going to see if I have a wrap in my work bag and then tomorrow I'll bring home a real splint." The blonde explained as she rose from the bed.

"We don't have to go to the hospital?" Sophie inquired, accepting the glass of water being handed over.

"Not tonight. I'll wrap it up, ice it some more and then we'll see how you feel about school in the morning."

"Okay." The girl agreed, allowing her mom to leave and return with the bandage.

"I don't want to put it on too tightly, but the pressure may not feel to good at first." Clarke warned, beginning to wind the wrist up with the wrap and carefully settling a clip over the end once the roll was out. "Are you hungry?"

"Not really."

"Mama's on a walk with the girls right now but I'm pretty sure she'd love to watch a movie with you." Clarke mentioned, earning a grin from her pained daughter.

"A romance?"

"Of course, my girl. That's yours and mama's thing, she could never say no to you." This time Sophie laughed, and Clarke was glad for that.

* * *

 **Hey everyone. Sorry for the delay! I just broke up with my girlfriend and things are kind of shaky on my end so please forgive me for not getting this out sooner.**

 **I've hit a bit of a block with this story so I need your help.**

 **Would you amazing readers like:**

 **A) Time jump (time is unknown)  
B) Clexa baby #7 (because what's another one, right?)  
C) Clexa adoption (always have their options)  
D) ADD AN IDEA HERE (Make up your own idea and if I like it I'll credit you!)**

 **Thanks everyone, and sorry once again for being so absent.**

 **-Valentina**


	30. Chapter 30 - Motherly Touch

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 30  
Motherly Touch**

"Mommy." Clarke felt a small hand tap her cheek as she laid in the arms of Lexa who spooned her from behind. "Mommy, wake up." The small voice came again, this time making the blonde open her eyes and face the little boy standing before her.

"Hi, sweetheart." She said, making Lexa stir as well when she moved to sit up.

"I had a nightmare." Finlay explained, clutching to his toy owl as he spoke.

"What about?" She asked, pulling him onto the bed while her wife reached over and ran a hand over the boy's back.

"Bad things." He vaguely expressed, settling between both his moms. "Why don't I have good dreams?" He asked Clarke, nuzzling against Lexa who pulled him close.

Clarke knew that it was his age and growth that sparked these reoccurring nightmares, however he was a child and she knew that he required a simpler explanation than that.

"Sometimes we fall asleep thinking about bad thoughts. Then when we fall asleep our brain keeps thinking them and we can't change them all too well because we aren't fully aware."

"Can you fix them?" Finlay asked.

"We can. All you have to do is think super splendid thoughts!" The blonde enthused, earning a chuckle from her half sleeping wife.

"Super splendid?" She mumbled with a quirk of an eyebrow.

"Of course. Don't ruin it, Lex." Clarke warned, looking back to her son who was now seemingly more content after their conversation.

"Can I stay here tonight?"

"Mama's already using you as her cuddle bear, so I think you have to, bud." Clarke explained, earning a laugh from both people in the bed before she settled down and allowed sleep to consume them.

~.~.~

Sophie stayed home the next day, exhaustion from her lack of sleep, and the pain meds finally kicking in not exactly encouraging either mother to send her in.

Jude started his three day suspension, however he wanted to join Clarke at work, the blonde agreeing especially with her lack of surgeries to perform today.

The rest of the kids went to school, Willow actually saying goodbye to Lexa opposed to her usually silent departure. It was small but it was an improvement.

"Maybe next time she'll hug you." Clarke hinted with a wink, Lexa playing knocking her shoulder before placing a kiss on her lips and sending her on her way.

"I love you. Drive safe." Lexa said, double checking the four kids in the back window and waving at her son in the front.

"Love you too. Remember don't do-"

"Anything to hurt myself. I'm aware, Love." The brunette ushered the woman into her car and headed for the house once the mini van pulled away.

Sophie slept another two hours, Lexa checking on her every twenty minutes and placing a hand over her forehead in case she started a fever from the pain. The forehead of her daughter stayed cool however, so Lexa continued with light housework until Sophie finally ventured downstairs.

"Good morning, sweetheart." Lexa greeted, sadly smiling at the girl holding her arm.

"Can I have some more medicine?" Sophie inquired, biting her lip as she sucked back tears.

"Yeah, baby. I'll get you some. Go sit on the couch." Lexa encouraged, grabbing the pain meds from the back corner of the sink that Clarke had instructed her to give their daughter when she woke up and four hours after that if she wasn't home by then. "Would you like some breakfast?" The brunette called out, receiving no reply. She gather the two pills and a glass of water before venturing into the living room where Sophie laid curled on the couch with tears running down her cheeks. "Oh, sweet girl." Lexa sympathized, walking over and placing the things on the coffee table.

"It hurts." Sophie admitted when Lexa was crouched by her head, her fingers running over the bed head.

"I'm sure it does. Come sit up and take the medicine. It'll help a bit." The mother suggested, helping her daughter up and taking a seat next to her so the teenager could lean against her side.

"Can we watch a movie?" Sophie managed to say once both pills were down. She stopped crying but her face was still a mixture of sadness and pain.

"Yeah. What're you up to? 27 Dresses? The Notebook?"

"Mom found a movie called Just Go With It. It's supposed to be a romantic comedy." Sophie said, earning a smile from her mom.

"Then we should watch it. I'd give anything to see you smile." Sophie cracked and smiled a little despite her pain, allowing her mama to get up and put on the movie while she snuggled further back into the couch. Astrid and Zorro ran through the space, earning a chuckle from both Lexa and Sophie, but the two dogs settled down on their dog beds when their silly behavior caught up with them and sleep came onto both of them.

"You know, this is my favourite thing to do." Sophie said once her mama settled next to her and draped a blanket over the both of them.

"Is it now?"

"Yeah. How did we even start this?"

"Well, when you started kindergarten you hated it. Never liked going to class so you'd pretend to get sick a lot. Your mom and I saw this but we let you stay home because I was still on maternity leave after Willow was born. Anyways I knew I had to convince you school was a lot more fun so instead of letting you watch Disney movies like a normal parent, I put on romances. Willow fell asleep to the music so it was a bonus for me, but you would sit in front of the TV and watch them back to back. I thought you'd get bored but you didn't. In fact you wanted to stay home even more just to watch those movies with me and your sister." Sophie laughed at the idea. "After a while I made you promises that if you went to school you could miss twice a month."

"Is that why you and mom allow us to stay home every so often without a reason?"

"Yup. If you kids aren't up to learning, or you're overwhelmed with homework, we let you stay home because what's the point of forcing you?"

"Does this count as one of those days?" Sophie inquired, cocking an eyebrow.

"Not if you're in pain. This is a sick day. You still have two free days to cash in if you please." Sophie giggled slightly before she leant in closer to her mama.

"Can I tell you a secret?" The girl asked, quieter than before.

"Sure. What is it?"

"I didn't just break up with Thomas because you got hurt. I broke up with him because- well- I think I like girls."

Both were silent a moment, Lexa's smile growing before she realized her silence may have freaked out her kid.

"Hey, kid." Sophie looked at her mama. "I would love you gay or straight. Who you like does not decrease the amount of value you hold in my heart. You telling me this," Lexa began to tear up, not realizing how much the thought of her kid coming out would make her emotional. "I never got to tell my parents that I was gay but your mom did and she didn't get the type of love she needed. I don't know if it's normal, but I feel so much pride right now. You are a brave, and beautiful young woman who can love anyone no matter what race, size, or gender."

"I know you and mom wouldn't get mad-"

"Hey, I get it. Coming out isn't something that is as easy as perceived. There is a bunch of self acceptance and then doubt that even the people around you wouldn't agree with who you are, even if you have two moms. But mom and I love you and all your siblings no matter what."

"You're okay with this?"

"Of course, pretty girl. I know you'll make another girl very happy one day."

And that was all the self assurance the teenager needed, her shoulders feeling lighter as she leant into her mama and allowed her to play the movie that their conversation was delaying.

Neither said a word as they enjoyed the film, memories of their other movie occasions coming around every so often into both minds, making them grin at the thought.

~.~.~

"Hey, Lex."

 _"Hi, sweetheart. Where are you guys?"_

"Stuck in traffic. The highway is backed up. I think there was an accident up ahead. We should be home in less than an hour." Clarke explained, sighing out as she lightly released the brake to allow the car to roll forward a few more inches. She stopped once again when the car in front of her did.

 _"Alright, well I can give Rowen and Willow's coaches a call. Are the girls still going to their practices?"_

"Willow is but Rowen isn't."

 _"Okay, I'll let Raven know that Willow will be late. Drive safe."_

"Of course. See you in the next decade." This earned a laugh from the woman on the other line.

 _"Don't be so dramatic. You've got the kids to keep you entertained."_

"Can't argue that. I'll call you once we're out of the heaviest part of traffic."

 _"Okay, bye. Love you."_

"Love you too." Clarke pressed the red button on the display of her car, allowing the music to continue its light playing while the family shifted into comfortable positions with books or homework pulled up.

"What do you think happened?" Jude asked, glancing up from his phone where he was texting one of his friends.

"Probably a few cars hit each other and the main lanes are blocked because of it. I can't believe they haven't moved them yet."

"The towing company may be stuck in here with us. They have to take this highway anyways, there is no access from the other side." Jude suggested, earning a side eye from his mother.

"Don't be smart. We're stuck in here and if you use logic I'll make you walk." This made him chuckle.

"Mama was right. You are impatient."

"When'd she tell you that?" Clarke asked, trying to hide her grin.

"Yesterday. We were eating lunch and we somehow ended up talking about your road rage."

"I do not have road rage." The blonde argued, pressing the car forward a little more.

"Not sever road rage. Just the occasional comment and need to be on time to _everything_."

"Don't exaggerate."

"I'm not." Jude assured, laughing at the look of his mom's face. "You are like the queen of punctuality."

"Excuse me if I want you kids to arrive on time to certain places." Jude rolled his eyes. "I saw that, mister. Take back what you said about my road rage."

"No way."

"Take it back." Clarke warned, poising her finger to attack her son's side.

"Nope." He demanded, cringing away when his mom jabbed him on his ticklish side. "No, stop. You have road rage. I'm not taking it back. You are crazy." He said between swats at her hand, and attempts to press himself closer to the door.

"Remind me to have your mama ground your sorry butt for calling me crazy." Clarke said, taking her hand back to adjust the volume of the stereo.

"Mommy's not crazy." Finlay interjected from the back, looking up from his book.

"Sure she is, dude." Jude said, turning back to look at his brother. "She's gone bonkers." He contorted his face, which made Indie giggle fitfully, her little fist pushing Rowen's shoulder to get her attention at their older brother.

"Don't say that about mommy." Rowen said, throwing an eraser she held at Jude's head. He dodged it, causing it to bounce back at Willow's feet.

"Thanks for having my back Row. And no throwing things, I refuse to vacuum cheerios later."

"An eraser isn't cheerios, mom." Rowen said with a laugh.

"It'll turn to cheerios just you wait and see." Clarke warned, popping the side panel by Jude's legs open to pull out a small bag. "Give this to your little sister." She said, handing it over to the teenager.

Jude pulled out the pacifier and furrowed his eyebrows. "I thought you and mama were weaning her off of this."

"We are. It's just convenient to use, especially when we want her to sleep." Clarke explained, the boy shrugging before turning back in his seat and looking to Willow.

"Give this to Ind." Willow nodded before turning back and moving the pacifier close to Indie's mouth. The toddler gleefully took it and looked to Rowen, squealing to get her attention before pointing at the object in her mouth.

"BONKERS!" She managed to demand pass the soothing thing in her mouth.

"That's not a bonker, Ind." Rowen said, shaking her head. Indie grunted in protest before leaning against the side of her car seat and settling in with her blanket at hand.

"Can we open the windows, mom?" Willow asked, breaking her quiet streak.

"Sure, ladybug. Go ahead."

The window was rolled down, allowing Willow to lean against the door on her left and breath in the rush of cool air the remaining winter had to offer.

The family was silent for a while longer until the traffic began to move a bit more.

"Oh shit." Jude said, Clarke not stopping him from the use of the word as she saw the messy scene.

"Hey, kids. Don't look." The blonde said, encouraging her teenager to even look away. She was used to the blood and injury, however she wouldn't want her kids exposed to such a sight.

Blood painted the street in heavy patches. A car was tipped to lie on its roof and a body peeked out from below it.

Most frightening of all was the woman laying on the ground, smack in the center of the lane with what could be considered her insides pouring out from a brutal gash in her abdomen.

Clarke sped away quickly, thinking about nothing more than getting back home to her wife.

* * *

 **Chapter 31 is ready for posting but I should warn you it is REALLY long. On my word document it is ten pages while an average chapter is about four or five. So I hope you are all ready for that.**

 **Thank you so much for the feed back on my last author's note. All of your opinions and suggestions are being taken into account and I promise to hopefully get all of them done in the following chapters.**

 **Sophie likes girls. What do you guys think of that? I really wanted to show that coming out is never an easy task even if you grow up with LGBT parents. There is always a self-conscious mind set that those who are still in the closet hold and it takes a lot of bravery to hurdle them. I am a semi-closeted lesbian and I feel that my biggest concern is that my family won't accept me. I know I'm safe and capable of opening myself up to them, however there is a nagging in my mind that does not cease so easily. I would love to hear how you all take to the subject. What's your sexuality? Are you open about it? Whoever you may be I just want you to know that I ACCEPT YOU, and so does the entirety of the Clexa fanbase (clearly since we're rooting for two badass women).**

 **-Valentina**


	31. Chapter 31 - Reminiscing

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 31  
Reminiscing **

"There's so much death, Lex. Everywhere I look now I put your face to those bodies and it's overwhelming." Clarke was crying with her face pressed into Lexa's lap as the brunette sat up in bed, her fingers drawing through the blonde hair of her wife.

"I'm sorry, baby." Lexa whispered, not knowing what to say as she attempted to bring comfort to the other woman.

"When will I stop thinking that you're going to leave?" The question stung on both ends, but Lexa knew her wife didn't mean to make her feel bad. She was simply voicing her fears.

"We're working through it. I really wish there were something I could do."

"I'm just tired of everything ending. I don't want things to continue getting harder." Clarke admitted, revealing the real place her sadness resided.

"What do you mean?"

"We almost lost you. The twins are getting older and facing scary people. Willow is struggling and we can't fix it. Rowen is trying to act tough but I can see how scared she is. Finlay keeps getting better at reading and neither of us has actually taken time to read with him together. And Indie is sick but she can't tell us what she feels."

"I understand now. It seems like our lives got too hectic, too quickly, doesn't it?"

"Too quickly doesn't even begin to cover how hectic it got. It's like we all boarded the bullet train and it won't stop."

"You know what you need?" Lexa began to shift causing Clarke to lift her head and look at her questioningly. "I think you need a super cuddly family moment. Hold on, let's dry those eyes." Lexa quickly leant closer to Clarke and used the pads of her thumbs to wipe away the tears, leaving each cheek with a kiss before moving over to the photo albums stacked on their bookshelf.

"What are you doing?" Clarke asked, watching the dusty albums come down.

"I'm reminiscing." Lexa placed the books by her wife and opened the door, calling all the kids to come to their room as she went to gather Indie who slept peacefully. The toddler settled into her arms as the other kids went to the master bedroom and climbed in the bed around Clarke.

"What's happening, mama?" Jude questioned, lifting a baby book and smiling at the picture of Rowen as a tiny baby.

"Mom's kind of down in the dumps, so we're going to take a trip down memory lane. Starting with the twins and moving downward. Here, take Indie." Lexa handed Indie to Clarke and smiled when the woman laughed slightly. "Alright, let's start with our first chunky monkeys."

~.~.~

Sixteen years ago…

"CLARKE, CLARKE, CLARKE!" Lexa came running into the living room of their first apartment where her wife was unpacking a box from their move.

"Hey," Clarke laughed, allowing her wife to jump into her arms and wrap her legs around her waist. "What's this about?" She asked, allowing a kiss to land on her lips before she was given a response.

"It worked. Baby, it worked." And then Lexa was crying, Clarke's smile faltering as this occurred.

"Wait, you mean?"

"We're going to be moms." Lexa sobbed out, standing on her own feet as she presented the pregnancy test and allowed herself to be tugged into a big hug.

"I'm so happy." Clarke whispered out, stroking down the brunette curls of her wife.

"Me too. We're going to have our own little family."

"Our own beautiful family." Clarke promised, planting a kiss on Lexa's lips as their joy overwhelmed the apartment with the news of their first baby.

"Clarke." No response. "Phhst. Clarke. Wake up."

"Hmm? What's the matter?" Clarke turned over in the bed and met her wife's eyes.

"Feel." Lexa commanded in a whisper, taking the blonde's hand and placing it over her four month belly.

"What?" Clarke was sitting up now, shocked at the small thing that hit her hand.

"He's kicking." Lexa said proudly, thinking of their little boy that they discovered the sex of just recently.

"Oh man. Look at that. It's so precious." Clarke cooed, not moving from where she sat with both hands on her wife's stomach.

"Octavia and Linc better get that martial arts studio up and running soon. This baby will be a little dojo before we know it."

Two months passed and Lexa was stuck doing desk duty at work, meaning she buzzed people in, and out all day long. The mental mantra of _in, out, in, out_ made her pregnant mind groan internally.

What she would give to be at home where she could sleep and eat and do her wife for however long she pleased.

As she buzzed yet another cop in a shift in her abdomen made her uncomfortable and she knew she should call it a day, especially since Clarke would have her head if she knew that her pain came back from that morning.

She managed to drive home but before she could make it to the door the pain sent her down, her hand on the doorknob of the apartment being the only support she had. With shaky hands she called her wife and cried through the phone about the amount of pain she was in. Over the phone Clarke was rushing to send out paramedics to her place so she could be brought to the hospital, all while telling Lexa to breath and call out for their neighbor Miss. Lecky. A kind old woman who left her husband a year prior to their move and who enjoyed speaking to the young couple about her past adventures.

The medics arrived to find Miss. Lecky comforting a sobbing Lexa who sat against the hallway wall and they took her straight to the hospital where Clarke stuck to the woman's side.

They did not expect to hear that their baby was arriving early and that an immediate C-Section was necessary, however Clarke did not let up in comforting her wife, mentioning how it was for their little baby's safety and that it wasn't her fault.

As the doctors worked Lexa spoke to her wife in hushed whispers, not feeling anything going on below her, yet trying to block out the scary talk at her stomach.

"What will we name our little boy? We never talked about it." Clarke said, her fingers combing through Lexa's messy curls.

"He moved when we played music." Lexa mentioned, earning a small laugh from the blonde.

"Always moved to the Beatles. Our little boy has taste." The woman winked and got a laugh in return.

"You ladies should name his after your favourite Beatles song." A nurse piped up, a smile on her face as she prepared to take the baby from the doctors.

"Hey Jude." Lexa said immediately.

"Jude." Clarke whispered out, halting her fingers as she leant forward and gave Lexa a kiss. "It's perfect."

"Here we go!" A doctor said, pulling the baby free and handing the tiny little person off to the nurse.

"Hold on. What's this?" A voice asked.

"What's wrong?" Both Clarke and Lexa asked, fear striking up in both of them.

"There's a second baby." The doctor explained, waving a second nurse over before getting to work on Lexa.

"Holy shit." Clarke whispered out, not knowing whether she wanted to cry or throw up, or do both.

"Twins?" Lexa squeaked out.

"Jude's got a sister." The doctor proclaimed, pulling out a second small person and giving her to the new nurse.

"Twins?" Clarke asked, also shocked by the events that took place only two minutes apart.

"Two perfectly tiny babies, ladies. We'll just finish up here, Lexa. Your babies are being taken to the NICU."

And that's where they stayed for the following month, growing bigger and stronger. Both women were captured by their perfect children and spent hours on rocking chairs just holding the little ones close.

Sophie earned her name from her aunt and uncle who suggested both her first and middle name.

They were a perfect little family of four, and their tiny people were entirely theirs for all eternity. Both mothers promised to never let go.

PRESENT DAY…

"Jude hogged the sonogram picture just like he hogged every picture we took without posing." Sophie stated as she pointed out a toddler Jude jumping in front of Sophie in a picture.

"You were both camera hogs. Look at this. We could hardly set the camera down without one of you asking for another picture to be taken." Lexa commented, laughing when she found a picture of the twins posing like ninjas.

"We were so cool." Jude said, basking in his glory before Finlay jumped onto his chest.

"You guys were sweet. Messy but sweet." Clarke said, smiling through her watering eyes.

"What's this picture mom?" Rowen showed a baby picture of Willow, the little girl in Clarke's arms as the woman was rocking her in the image.

"That was Willow and your mom. I took it because it was a really sad moment but they looked so real." Lexa said fondly, running a finger over the picture.

Six years ago…

"Willow, sweetie I need to change Rowen. Please stop." Clarke said patiently, addressing the five year old quickly before turning back to her one year old. Lexa was at work so she had all four kids to herself, but the nine-year-old twins were thankfully behaving and playing quietly in the living room.

"Mommy, up." Willow protested again, a whimper coming through with the words.

"Just a moment, Will. Wait there." The mother said, lifting Rowen onto the changing table of the little girls room in the new home. Rowen made unintelligible noises to Clarke as she was changed into a fresh diaper, and went as far as trying to make conversation by holding out her bunny and using her baby language to talk about it.

"That's very nice, Rowen." Clarke said, feeling a tug on her leg.

"Mommy, please!" Willow begged, her big blue eyes flooding with tears now.

"Baby, you have to be patient." The blonde reminded, placing the tabs down on Rowen's diaper.

"NO!" The loud protest came below her, making Clarke look at her daughter questioningly. In her five years of life Willow has never made such a loud demand. She was usually placated and easy going.

"We don't scream." Clarke reminded, sitting Rowen up to redress her in her jumper.

And then the five year old was sobbing, falling to the floor as she screamed into the carpeted area, and rolled around. This was her first tantrum, ever. "Willow." Clarke chided, moving Rowen onto her hip. "Please stop throwing a fit." When the girl didn't let up Clarke knew she'd have to put Rowen in the play pen before dealing with the other girl.

The blonde moved quickly to step over the screaming child and make her way downstairs where the twins agreed to keep an eye on Rowen who sat in her playpen.

"MOMMY!" This scream was not one of protest. It was one of shear panic and fear. Willow was desperate and her crying grew heavier.

Clarke ran upstairs and found the small girl out of her clothes, sitting on the floor in her underwear and nothing more.

"Shh. I'm here. Come, baby girl." Clarke said, picking up the small girl who clung to her with a deep desperation.

The sobbing was still heavy, but the cries were silent. The blonde knew not to punish her daughter for her screaming, for it was only comfort she wanted and ended up feeling pain for not receiving.

"I won't let you go." Clarke promised, drawing her fingers over the bare back of her child. She didn't hear Lexa come in, and she didn't see the woman using their camera to snap the moment, but even to this day the intimate photo struck chords in both women. It was the first sign of Willow's anxiety disorder. They simply didn't know of it yet.

PRESENT DAY…

"After that your mom and I liked holding Willow." Lexa said, winking to the little girl who sat at the end of the bed. "She became like a teddy bear that we knew wouldn't be angry if we held her for too long."

"Hey, we like cuddles too." Rowen said, earning a snicker from Clarke who handed over a different album.

"Tell that to this face." Jude laughed when he saw the picture his mom was showing. Rowen was running from Lexa in the shot.

~.~.~

Four Years Ago…

"Rowen, please hold to the cart." Lexa said as she pushed the shopping cart through Costco and glanced at Clarke who cradled a newborn Finlay in her arms.

"What if I don't want to?" The four-year-old blonde challenged, swinging her arms around her as she moved with the family.

"Then you have to sit in here."

"But I'm a big girl!" Rowen stated in shock, earning a small laugh from Clarke who kept an eye on the twins and Willow.

"And big girls listen to their Mama's. So please, Row, hold to the cart." It was always a debate with this one, but Lexa couldn't complain. She enjoyed being kept on her toes.

"Moms, can we go look at the books?" Jude asked as he placed the bag of bread that Clarke asked him to retrieve in the cart.

"Sure, bud. Let's just finish up with getting the stuff we need first." Clarke said, pulling some bagels from the shelf as well and moving on to the cold food section.

"No vegetables." Rowen stated when she noticed Lexa grab some bell peppers.

"But we need them." Lexa said, moving around Clarke to grab some carrots and a head of lettuce.

"No we don't." Rowen argued, trying to take the vegetables out of the cart.

"Come on missy. Let mama get the stuff we need." Clarke said, offering her free hand to the girl who disgruntledly took it.

"Some potatoes, mama?" Sophie asked as herself and Jude carried the weight of the bulky bag.

"Thanks, babies. Put it at the bottom." She said, grabbing the cart handle to keep it still while the kids loaded the potatoes. "Alright fruits, milk, and eggs." Lexa rattled, off, moving the cart a few meters towards the fruits and taking what they needed.

"Eww!" Rowen said when she saw Lexa grab bananas.

"You love bananas." Clarke said past a laugh, allowing Sophie to take Finlay after she asked for the third time. "Hold his head." The blonde said, making sure the girl had the right hold before scooping up the four year old.

"No I don't. I wanna walk." Rowen said, placing her hands on Clarke's cheeks.

"You ate a banana this morning. And can't I hold my little girl for a minute?" Rowen shook her head and began to wiggle down from her mom's hold, giggling when she got free and gasping when she caught sight of the giant bears not to far from where they were.

"BIG BEAR!" Rowen stated proudly, pointing to the distant box and then taking off.

"Oh man." Lexa sighed, putting down the berries she held and telling the family she'd be right back.

The cop chased after the nimble four year old, ignoring those who made slight comments on that rowdy child.

They finally stopped in front of the box of bears and Lexa sighed when she saw her kid jumping to reach the highest set bear.

"Look, mama!" Rowen said excitedly, pointing to the stacked creatures.

"I see, Row. You aren't supposed to run." Lexa chided lightly, crouching in front of little blonde and quickly tucking back some of her child's wild hair.

"Can I get one?"

"Not today, peanut. Come on, Finlay won't sleep forever. It'll be good to finish up here sooner." Lexa said, offering a hand, which Rowen disregarded and skipped ahead of proudly.

"You should know I took a picture. That was too cute." Clarke said past a laugh, showing her phone to her wife who couldn't help but laugh as well at.

"Mama, take Fin. He's heavy." Sophie said, offering the baby to the brunette who took him while Clarke put Rowen into the cart and made up cool reasons why big girls get to ride on the super awesome seat.

Willow gravitated towards Lexa and took her hand until they were paying at the cashier.

"What a beautiful family." The old man working the till said, nodding his head at the kids who were helping to take stuff from the cart.

"Thank you." Clarke said.

"They're all yours?"

"Yes, sir. All five of them." Lexa replied proudly, looking to her kids fondly.

"Well hello there, princess." He said when Rowen came by in the now empty cart.

"I'm not princess. I'm a peanut. Biggest sissy is a princess." The four year old explained, pointing to Sophie who was distracted with Jude.

"My mistake. Peanut suits you better." He said, earning a giggle from the little girl before she was pulled away in the cart to have the groceries loaded once again.

The women paid before gathering their kids and thanking the man.

"Have a wonderful day." He said gleefully, waving off the family.

~.~.~

"Okay so maybe I didn't like cuddling before. But I do now." Rowen said, squealing as she scrabbled away from Lexa's tickling fingers.

"You don't hold still long enough for us to hold you." Clarke remarked, her toes going in for the final attack before Finlay interrupted them by holding out his baby book.

"Is this me?" He asked, pointing to a picture of himself at the age of two, one hand holding a melting ice cream cone, the other was his favourite stuffed owl. Behind him there was the Harry Potter castle from their trip to Florida two years ago.

"Oh my god, look at that face." Clarke sighed out, laughing at her baby's gorgeous face that was a half smile since he got distracted before the picture could be taken.

"Remember what he said that day?" Lexa asked as she began to laugh, Clarke joining soon after as she began to remember herself.

"Not turtles."

~.~.~

Two Years Ago…

"Mommy, mommy! Look!" Finlay said, his excitement boiling over as he pointed around The Wizarding World of Harry Potter. He was far too short for the big rollercoaster, however Lexa agreed to take the kids tall enough to go while Clarke took their too small or frightened kids elsewhere. With her was Willow and Sophie, both girls not capable of stomaching a rollercoaster with multiple loops considering the amount of food they ate for lunch.

"What's that Fin?" Sophie asked, pointing to the mechanical creature poised by one of the other rides.

"Hippogriff." He said in a serious manner, the two year old presenting his amazing memorization skills. Jude insisted on letting the toddler watch the movies with him before they went to Orlando, and the mothers agreed so long as he skipped through the scarier bits.

Finlay grew adoration for Harry and his owl and soon enough he was holding his own Hedwig, his wand that matched Harry's inside one of the bags Clarke held with all the kids wands.

"Alright guys, your mama, Rowen, and Jude should be coming out soon, should we go back and get them?" Clarke asked, glancing up slightly at the hot sun.

"Yeah." Willow agreed, eager to get away from the thickening crowd that prepared to watch the stage show.

"Okay, let's go." Clarke took Finlay's hand and soon they were at the exit of the rollercoaster, the rest of their family wobbling out while laughing.

"I don't know if I want to throw up, or fall down, but that was awesome." Jude said excitedly, shaking his hair from his eyes as he began to walk a bit more steadily.

"Did you have fun?" Clarke asked, stroking back Rowen's hair as she leaned closer to Lexa for a moment.

"I'm hungry." Rowen stated with a sigh.

"You okay?" Lexa asked, worried about the shift from happiness to slight discomfort.

"It got really hot." Rowen stated, pulling at her tanktop.

"And that is why I shouldn't have let you get on that rollercoaster." Clarke stated with a shake of her head, knowing very well this was motion sickness getting the better of the six year old.

"Okay, let's get some ice cream. That should cool you down." Lexa said, taking Rowen and Willow's hands while Clarke took Finlay.

"Or it'll make her hurl." Clarke suggested quietly earning a slight smirk from her wife.

"Not helping." The brunette said, sticking her tongue out before they got to the closest butter beer and ice cream shop.

The twins got a butter beer to share while the little ones got a kids cone for themselves, the large group shuffling out of the tight shop and once more standing out in the sun.

"Don't get that on your owl." Lexa warned Finlay, quickly adjusting Rowen's cone in her hand so the little girl would lick the dripping vanilla ice cream.

Finlay eagerly mushed his mouth into his ice cream, his face becoming a sticky mess as his hand began to get covered in the melting treat.

"Look how cute." Clarke said, laughing as she crouched down and pulled out her phone. Finlay was right in front of the Hogwarts Castle and she couldn't resist the mess on his face. "Hold his attention." The blonde ordered the brunette, trying to get the sun's glare off the screen enough to make out their son's face.

"Hey Fin, wanna know something cool?"

"Yeah." He said, a smile creeping onto his face. His mama always said cool stuff.

"Hedwig is an owl, right?" The boy nodded. "Well, owls are nocturnal." Just as Clarke took the picture Finlay's face shifted from joy to confusion, one eyebrow moving up as he turned to look at Lexa.

"Yes, owls are not turtles." He stated, the whole group suddenly laughing at the realization of what the youngest member of the family had just said.

~.~.~

"He wasn't wrong." Jude said, rubbing his brother's head before yawning. They'd been hanging out with their moms for a little over an hour and the boy was slowly getting tired himself.

"Just one more kid." Clarke whispered out, idly twirling some of Indie's hair as the toddler slept on her chest.

"Last story. What do you guys want to remember?" Lexa asked, leaning back close to her wife to watch their sleeping baby. The kids began to bunker down in the bed as well; finding space under the bed spread and at the foot of the king sized bed.

"Indie stayed at the hospital the longest didn't she?" Sophie clarified, remembering the hectic night that her mom went into labour far too early for a single baby pregnancy.

"Well, she wasn't the smallest. Jude, Soph, and Will were definitely tied for tiniest babies, however Indie was kind of weak."

"How so?" Sophie asked, watching as Lexa flipped through the baby book of Indie and settled on one image. This was a centered picture of Indie's face, her newborn eyes opened a crack as she stared right back at you.

"She didn't open her eyes for the first four days of her life." Clarke said quietly, remembering how terrible the week was after Indie's birth had been. "The doctors were convinced she was brain dead."

~.~.~

"Can you go hold her now? I don't want her alone." Clarke said to her wife, eyes welling with tears as she thought about the defenseless new born not being with anyone while she slept.

"Baby, I was holding her not twenty minutes ago. I want to make sure you're alright." Lexa said, stroking back Clarke's hair. With Indie being three months early, Clarke was rushed for a C-Section where one of the doctors screwed up and caused her to lose a lot of blood. She was drained and clearly lethargic, leaving her stuck to the bed until her doctor decided she was well enough to move around.

"I'm fine, Lex. Indie needs you. She doesn't know what's happening." The blonde said, taking Lexa's hand and giving it a squeeze of reassurance for her well being.

Lexa chewed her lip a moment, not knowing how to bring up the question but knowing very well that Clarke saw her face and won't let up until she spoke.

"What if she _is_ brain dead? How do we take care of her?" She finally asked, remembering the tests that took place a few hours ago. Indie was unresponsive to many things except touch. She was very aware of those who touched her.

"I don't think she is." Clarke responded, taking her motherly instinct over all else.

"She won't open her eyes, love. It's been four days."

"Then go and be there when she does. I want you to be the first thing she sees."

Lexa sniffled back her tears before finally agreeing and moving back to NICU, finding the incubator that held her little baby.

"Back so soon?" The nurse that was on call asked, smiling as she helped to get Indie from the closed space.

"My wife sent me back. She doesn't want our little one to be left all by herself." Lexa replied, sitting on the rocking chair by the incubator and allowing the tubes to be moved around her before Indie was placed over her chest.

"She relaxes so much when you hold her. She knows how you feel now." The nurse commented, addressing how Indie goes from stiff to lose when she feels Lexa holding her. "She loves you, I won't let what the doctors say discourage you quiet yet."

"Thank you." The nurse moved on to check on the other babies, leaving Lexa and Indie alone.

"Hi, itty bitty." Lexa whispered, using a finger to readjust the tiny hat. "I just want to tell you something for a moment. Everyone around here is saying you can't, or you won't, and your mom and I refuse to believe any of it. Baby girl, you are capable, and brave, and significant, even when it feels like you're not. I'm sure that a miracle will happen because you, my precious angel, are a miracle in yourself. I love you so much, Ind."

She rocked the infant for a while, the hour creeping by slowly but calmly. Lexa readjusted the baby to lay in her arms so she could glance down at the placated face. With a finger she began to draw out Indie's features, knowing very well that Clarke would want to draw Indie with her face like this all the time.

"A perfect nose. Two sleepy eyes." Lexa said quietly, smiling at the small twitch that Indie's face did at the butterfly kiss her finger offered. "Tiny lips. Very blonde eyebrows. Chubby cheeks." And with the final stroke of her cheek Indie's face twitched once more, however it continued to shift into a different expression. Lexa watched curiously until the sleepy eyes she once touched cracked open ever so slightly and exposed the storm grey that they contained.

Lexa smiled at the face and sighed out a breathe of relief.  
"Welcome to this crazy world, Indie."

~.~.~

"Look, Lex. They're all out." Clarke laughed slightly, making her wife lift her eyes from the toddler to actually look at the group.

"I didn't notice." Lexa said with a light laugh, admiring the sleeping faces of her kids.

"Neither did I. I don't want to move them. They're making me so happy."

"So it worked?"

"Your reminiscing?" Clarke clarified, earning a nod from Lexa. "It makes me want more of them. Just another little baby to hold on to forever." The blue eyes were latched on Indie's head before finally glancing up to catch the green eyes watching her.

"Okay."

"Really?" She asked, tears welling in her eyes.

"What's seven compared to six? We have enough love to go around." Lexa stated while taking her wife's hand.

"What about this hectic life we already have?" Clarke asked, knowing very well their lives were on a current down spiral.

"I think that we need to take it as it comes. One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you cannot change. It's as simple as that."

"That simple?"

"Nothing to it, my love. Now what do you say? Are we having a baby?"

"I believe we are, Lexa Woods."

"Wow." Lexa sighed out, her heart skipping a beat slightly by how beautiful her messy life was, and just how much more beautiful it was about to get.

* * *

 **This was a long chapter but I just had to do it.**

 **So surprise! A baby? Who's happy?**

 **I got amazing suggestions however, which I will bring up in future chapters so keep your eyes open. This story is going to get interesting.**

 **-Valentina**


	32. Chapter 32 - Happy Clouds

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 32  
Happy Clouds**

"Hello ladies, long time no see!" An older doctor with white hair entered, a smile on his face as he reached out to shake both Lexa and Clarke's hands.

"It's great to see you Dr. Brentwood." Lexa stated, taking Clarke's hand as the man sat opposite of them.

"How's Indie doing? And all of your other beautiful babies?"

"Indie keeps getting bigger, and all the others keep amazing us everyday." Clarke said, smiling at the man who helped them start their family sixteen years ago. He was the doctor they turned to when they wanted to get pregnant and after that he helped them find donors and got the wheels turning for their large family.

"I'm glad to hear that." The old man stated, taking a moment to open the file in his hand. "So I went over the tests that your family doctor ran and I believe you are looking into having another little baby." Both women nodded in agreement. "Well considering that you are active, in good health, and clearly know how to raise a good kid, I don't see why this can't happen." Dr. Brentwood stated earning larger smiles than before.

"My age isn't a concern?" Clarke clarified, knowing very well that being fourty years of age would do little to make a pregnancy successful.

"You are physically capable and so your age really shouldn't cause any harm to yourself or the baby. Now if you're both confident you want to do this then I can do a quick physical of you and start you up on the right medication for the next two weeks. Once those are completed we will get you inseminated and hopefully have you pregnant by March."

"Are we doing this, Lex?" Clarke asked, squeezing her wife's hand and looking at her for a moment of absolute silence.

"I'm all in if you are." The brunette promised, pulling up Clarke's hand to kiss her knuckles.

"Alright, let's do this." Clarke said, her voice sure and smile proud as she addressed Dr. Brentwood.

"Hopefully we get you pregnant on the first insemination like with all of you other pregnancies. That way we don't have to re-try a different donor. That being said, would you ladies like to look through the available men who can provide the sperm?"

"As long as we stay anonymous to them." Lexa said.

"These men have signed off on the knowledge forum, so you can pick which consists of the DNA you'd like for your new baby."

"We'll we always picked someone with each others attributes. With Lexa's pregnancies we picked donors with blonde hair and blue eyes. The kids got her hair and the blue eyes. As for my pregnancies, all the kids got blonde hair and Rowen got the green eyes, Fin got brown, and Indie got grey."

"So you guys have the whole colour spectrum of eyes." Dr. Brentwood said with a chuckle, typing something up in his computer and pulling up the list of men and their photos.

"So brunette with green eyes?" Lexa asked, hoping someone matched.

"I've got one and if we process the genetics right, your baby would have a 79% of blue eyes, 21% of green. And a 50% of brown hair, 17% of blonde and due to this man having a red head background there is a 33% for red hair."

"You could get all of that?" Clarke asked, looking at the photo of the simple man with darker hair and light green eyes, similar to her wife.

"Yup. Two years since your last baby and this is what we can do. Isn't that amazing?"

"Very." Clarke agreed, nodding her head at the image.

"I think that's a solid match." Lexa stated, making Dr. Brentwood grin.

"Perfect, let's get this physical going then."

~.~.~

"One more lap, Will!" Raven called as she stood with her clipboard at the start line. Willow kept her pace and continued for her twentieth lap just as Lexa approached the coach and watched the girl.

"She's looking good."

"She's amazing. Even after everything last month she's pushing. I don't think she's been given enough credit for how strong she actually is." Raven said, smiling at the stopwatch in her hand.

"Clarke and I always see her as this gentle little girl who broke under pressure. Considering how long she kept it to herself I can see how she is truly the strongest member of the family."

"She talked to me today about you."

"Did she now?" Lexa asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

"She misses you. She's trying not to push away but that's all she can do with anybody anymore. It's not settling well with her." Raven said, feeling saddened by the pressure this little girl felt.

"You've been a god sent, you know that? Ever since she started running she's been able to open up to you, and Clarke and I are so grateful she has at least someone like that in her life. We're trying but she's still distant with the family. I don't even think it has to do with what's happened anymore. It's just her mind making her feel off."

"She's a good kid and talented runner. You and Clarke are doing great."

"Thanks." Lexa said with a smile before her kid came running up to them, a small smile on her face as she breathed out a puff of air. "There's our superstar."

"How'd I do?" Willow asked, turning to Raven who wrote something on the clipboard.

"Fastest lap was two minutes and sixteen seconds. Slowest lap was two minutes and twenty seconds. I'd say you killed it." The coach stated, winking at the girl who gleamed with self-pride.

"Those are awesome numbers, sweetheart." Lexa said, running a hand over Willow's back.

"Thanks, mama."

"So you've got therapy tomorrow, but I will see you Friday, sound good kid?"

"Yup. Thanks, Raven." Willow moved to grab her stuff before she joined her mama as the two walked towards the car.

"You never fail to impress me, you know that?" Lexa asked, putting an arm around her daughter and pulling her close to her side as they walked.

"It's pretty fun." The girl stated, nodding her head in agreement before looking to her mama. "Are you and mom really having another baby?"

The women had run the idea past their kids the morning after their family cuddle and everyone seemed excited with the prospect of having another Woods family member. Today Clarke was starting the medication to prepare her body to have a baby and with Willow's question Lexa feared the girl was taking back what she said about being okay with it.

"Yeah, we saw the doctor about it today and got everything set up. Do you not want us to do this?"

"Is this baby a way to make up for me being so messed up?"

"Woah, woah, woah." Lexa brought them to a halt in the parking lot and turned Willow to face her by her shoulders. "In no way are you messed up, and in no way are your mom and I trying to replace or make up for you or any of your other siblings. If anything, we want another baby just because of how beautiful all of you are."

"Really?" Willow clarified, her blue eyes faltering a moment before they looked back up at Lexa's once again.

"Of course, ladybug. We've seen so many scary things happen these last few months, so the fact that we can bring something exciting into this world, it's like a beautiful opportunity that we have to take."

"Will you love it no matter what?"

"We will love that baby even if he or she had one too many fingers, or one too many toes." This earned a giggle from the petit brunette who did something Lexa hadn't felt in a while. Willow threw herself into her mama's arms and initiated a hug for the first time in what felt like years.

With her daughter wrapped in her arms, Lexa felt tears flood her eyes as she stroked back the ponytailed hair. She sucked back her tears and placed a kiss on Willow's temple before pulling back and walking with her kid to the car with an arm draped over her shoulder.

"I think we should take the pups on a walk tonight. What do you say, just you and me?" The mother offered, knowing she could get the girl out of her shell even more with an hour of walking.

"Okay. Can we walk to the beach?" Willow asked, excitement fluttering inside of her.

"Of course. We can go anywhere you want." Lexa stated, getting the door open for her daughter before moving to the opposite side herself and getting behind the wheel.

"Can't wait." And Lexa knew her little girl meant it.

~.~.~

Clarke turned at the sound of the front door opening and smiled at the two faces that appeared. Readjusting Finlay on her hip she turned back to the stove and stirred the mashed potatoes while calling her greeting.

"Hi mom, I'm going to go shower!" Willow called out before running upstairs. The blonde turned once again and cocked an eyebrow at the stairs that Willow disappeared on.

"Is that our kid, and if so what happened to her?" The blonde asked her wife, kissing her briefly and smiling between their touching lips before earning a response.

"It's a good day for her I guess. After her run she was just happy. Like an honest happiness that we haven't seen in forever." The woman said, a small laugh coming through her words before she looked to their son in the blonde's arms. "Hey bud, what's the matter?" The brunette rubbed her son's head the was placed on his mom's shoulder.

"He ran into the car door when we got home from picking up Row not too long ago. He just stopped crying." Clarke explained, shifting the boy slightly due to her dead arm aching from his weight.

"Poor boy, wanna come to me and we can let mommy finish dinner?" Lexa offered, extending her hands out. Finlay leant forward and wrapped himself into his mama's embrace, not saying a word as he nuzzled his nose into her neck. "You don't think he got a concussion, do you?"

"No way. He has a thick head. But I will keep an eye on it because he keeps saying that his stomach hurts. I think it's because of all his crying, but I want to be safe."

"Of course. Looks like you're having a sleepover with mommies tonight. Doesn't that sound like fun?" Lexa said, bouncing the boy who whimpered and squeezed his mama tighter. "Guess not. Anything I can do, baby?" Lexa asked Clarke, taking her hand in her own for a moment.

"Can you makes sure Row and Will get their workout stuff into the washing machine, and the dogs need a walk." The blonde said, earning a nod.

"I'll gather laundry, and Will agreed to walking the pups with me after dinner if you're alright with that?"  
"Yeah, I can clean the little ones while the twins do the dishes and Rowen works on her project. She has to make a model for the book she read so she's going to plan it out tonight and we'll go supply shopping tomorrow after Will's therapy appointment." Lexa laughed lightly before leaning forward and kissing her wife.

"With all this craziness, I can't wait to see what a baby will do."

"Don't even remind me. Our planning is about to get even more hectic." Clarke said past a laugh, shaking her head before adding, "I'm really excited about this, Lex. This craziness if our family, and I adore each and every second of it."

"Me too." Lexa agreed, her mind lost in the eyes of her wife as Zorro jumped up to reach the counter and extend his head to lick a bowl of vegetables. The laughter of the twins pulled them away when vegetables began to fly to the floor.

* * *

 **We needed a fluffy chapter! Sorry for the delay in posting, I've been pretty busy, especially since it's the last month of the school year and I have some projects and tests to prep for. Almost done though, and then you guys have me all summer long. I've got big plans for this story, so expect updates no matter how long in-between.**

 **Valentina**


	33. Chapter 33 - Add To The Crazy

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to the 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 33  
Add To The Crazy**

Two Months Later…

Clarke sat on the edge of the toilet seat, the sound of her family in the living room making her smile fondly as she patiently waited for the test beside her to beep as an indication that it was ready.

She was happy, and that thought was what encouraged her to take whatever the test said as an opportunity to better her life or keep trying to do so. Her heart tried not to increase in its beats per minute, especially with the thought of what the last tests said. Three donors later and all came up negative, until today.

With a glance to her right she saw the test on the tub edge and brought a hand to cover her mouth, a sob tearing through her as she laughed with her bubbling joy.

"Positive", the test read. With shaky hands she rose from the toilet and ran out of the bathroom. When she got down the stairs she stopped at the entrance of the living room, smiling proudly at the scene before her. Rowen and Willow were sprawled on the floor, laughter coming from both girls as they joked. Sophie was on the single with Indie bouncing on her stomach, the three year old babbling away. Jude was watching the soccer game going on with Lexa, who also had Finlay on her lap as she readjusted his new glasses.

After he hit the car door they got his eyesight checked and he was indeed in need of the glasses. They only made him cuter.

"Lex." Clarke said, chewing her lip as she stifled a laugh and wiped her cheeks with her left hand.

"What's wrong?" The brunette asked, placing Finlay next to Jude. All eyes were on the blonde. Clarke couldn't speak. She simply nodded fiercely and stuck the test outward for Lexa to take.

The woman took the stick in her hand and gapped at the results momentarily before dropping it on the ground and throwing her arms around her wife. Both clung to one another with laughter and tears as the kids observed questioningly.

"What's this?" Rowen asked, moving to grab the test on the floor.

"Row, don't touch it! Mom peed on it." A series of squeals and laughter broke the women apart at they saw Rowen drop the discarded test and back up.

"Eww mom, why?"

"It's a pregnancy test." Clarke said as Lexa wiped her cheeks.

"Mommy's having another baby, guys." Lexa said, earning gleeful cheers from all the kids.

"Baby?" Indie asked, pointing to her moms.

"Yeah, Ind." Sophie said happily, peppering the little one's face in kisses.

"Can I name it?" Rowen asked, having recovered entirely from her previous freak out with the 'pee stick'.

Lexa laughed before glancing at Clarke. "Why don't we vote?" She suggested, wiping at her wet cheeks and quickly tending to Clarke's.

"Like with Indie?" Jude asked, remembering the anonymous name game and how everyone got an idea in.

"Exactly." Clarke said, glancing at her wife once again. "Now we have to tell Linc and Octavia." She said past a laugh, thinking about her currently hormone wonky sister-in-law who was nearing her sixth month as a pregnant woman.

"Poor O will either cry like Niagara falls or she'll throw a party for all of America to celebrate."

~.~.~

True to Lexa's words, Octavia was a mess of tears and happiness when the news was revealed, talking adamantly to her own large stomach to explain that he'll have a cousin just a little bit younger than he was soon after he was born.

"How are you so sure it's a he?" Lexa had questioned after, recognizing the use of gender specific titles.

"Dunno, I can feel it." Octavia answered, stroking her stomach happily.

"I can understand that. With Row and Ind I was unsure, but I just knew Finlay was a boy. I could just feel it." Clarke said, earning a laugh from her wife.

"Considering I didn't know I was having twins, I can't understand what either of you felt." She explained.

"I'm just not a woman." Lincoln said, putting in his two cents before turning his attention back to Indie who was talking to his adamantly. The twins were watching a movie in their aunt and uncle's living room while the rest of the kids were playing with the four dogs currently residing in the home due to the extra care they required. Dimitra, the Egyptian crossbreed, was their newest addition from their rescue mission a while back, but the other three were constant stayers at the home, having been around for a majority of the kids lives.

Orion was their oldest dog, the thirteen-year-old mix bred with only three legs having been around since he was a puppy.

Following soon after him, Octavia and Lincoln brought home a two year old Rottweiler named Ifos, her good nature but timid attitude preventing her from being adopted. She was now five years old and as gentle as ever with the kids.

Finally there was the smallest dog of the house, Wybie, a springer spaniel mix who kept up with Finlay the most despite being eight years old.

Octavia and Lincoln were excited of the prospect of bringing a baby into their home, crossing their fingers that the dogs took well to the adjustment.

"Isn't it weird that within the next year we'll have family dinners with twelve people and six dogs." Lincoln commented.

"We're going to have little babies." Clarke said excitedly, looking to Octavia who had the same sized smile.

"More baby?" Indie questioned her uncle, pointing to her mommy and aunt.

"Yeah Ind. When did she start saying whole words?"

"Who knows. It goes back and forth." Lexa said, shaking her head in amusement.

"Wait, you guys hardly fit in your mini van. What's going to happen with the new baby?" Octavia suddenly asked, causing both Lexa and Clarke to freeze a moment.

"I refuse to get a bus." The blonde stated, shaking her head in a negative fashion.

"Well what other option is there?" Lexa asked, laughing at the thought of a family bus.

"We can tie the car seats' to the roof of the van?" Clarke suggested, earning more laughs.

"Because that's legal."

~.~.~

"Can you give mama kisses?" Lexa asked Indie as the toddler sat in the tub and patted the water playfully.

"K-k-kiss-es." Indie responded, the once simple word coming out in a stuttered reply. Lexa furrowed her eyebrows but took it as a small mess up, returning to her last question.

"Yeah. Kisses. Right here." The mother said, tapping her lips for her daughter. This earned a giggle before Indie playfully gave her a sloppy kiss, her small hands aimlessly trying to grab Lexa but failing to do so. "Silly billy. I'm here." The brunette stated, taking the wandering hands of her confused child. "You're acting funny, bunny."

"Tu-tu-nny." The second round of stuttering made the mother worry as she ran a hand through the clean hair of her kid. "He-ead o-ow." Indie said after a moment, tapping her face lightly to show what she meant.

"Hey Clarke!"

"Yeah, babe?" The master bedroom door opened and the blonde walked to the hallway bathroom where Lexa was knelt before the tub. Finlay followed his mom out of the room, his hair requiring combing since he just showered in the master bath with Clarke keeping an eye on him while she folded some laundry. He wanted a big boy shower and not a bath so the mothers complied easily with his request.

"Ind is acting funny. She said her head hurt and she's stuttering." The brunette explained, thinking this could be caused by her daughter's epilepsy. Clarke was thinking the same as her wife and moved quickly to approach the tub and pull the drenched toddler out.

"Lay a towel down." Clarke requested her wife, still holding Indie who was becoming more and more sluggish with each passing moment. Once the towel was down the toddler was placed on her back, confusion causing her to cry tears of despair. She was in pain and was frustrated, which only added to the reasons for her tears.

"Shh. I know, baby. Don't cry. Mommies are here." The blonde said, allowing Lexa to stroke the little girl's hair while she quickly got up and took Finlay to Jude's room.

The teenager agreed to watch the little boy for a few minutes while his mother returned to the washroom.

"Do you think she's going to have a seizure?" Lexa asked once her wife returned, the bathroom door being shut so the other kids wouldn't see what would happen.

"I _know_ she's going to have another seizure." Clarke replied, placing a second towel over their daughter.

"Can we move her to our room?"

"I don't want to. If she seizes while we lift her one of us might drop her or she'll choke instantly. It's better to keep her here."

The women waited and spoke to Indie who tried to interpret what was going on but could hardly do so.

Just as suspected, Indie began to seize, her mom laying her on her right side so then she wouldn't choke. Lexa tried to keep a brave face, but the tears trekking down her face were instantaneous. Her wife was so calm, but the sight was far too much for her to handle. A small girl was shaking uncontrollably and she could do nothing about it.

"Hey, Lex," Clarke said gently, grunting from their daughter keeping the brunette's view down. "Baby, look at me." Lexa finally complied. "She'll be okay. I know it's scary, but the worst thing that can happen is that she bites her tongue too hard. We have her in the right position, and her medicine is right downstairs so we can give it to her when she comes round."

A sob and sniffle came from Lexa but she nodded her head in understanding before returning to the rubbing of Indie's side. The little one was already calming down and her body only shook every so often, but the major seizure had passed within two minutes.

"It's safe to move her now." Clarke said, not having to tell her wife twice before the toddler was pulled into the safe arms and cradled as thought she were made of glass.

"My baby," Was all Lexa could get out as she kissed the sweaty forehead of her slightly drenched kid. They still had to dry and dress Indie. "We're not leaving her alone tonight."

"I wouldn't dare put her to sleep in her crib. She gets mommy and mama cuddles all night long," Clarke said, running a finger over the cheek of their girl.

Indie began to cry as she came around, and the initial confusion struck her. She was unable to voice her opinion, but Lexa was there to talk to her and reassure her, which made the shaking from panic a lot less frantic.

"I'm going to grab her medicine." Clarke said, ensuring her wife got to her feet with the toddler before she gathered the towels and old clothes of Indie from the bathroom floor. The bathtub water was drained and the light was shut off before they ventured out of the bathroom and went their separate ways.

Once Indie was medicated, dressed in her diaper and nothing more since she fussed when her pajamas were being slipped on, and was sat on her moms bed, the house seemed to calm.

Clarke entered the room after tucking in the kids and found Lexa gently scratching Indie's bare back as the toddler was sitting up in the bed with her thumb in her mouth and the occasional sniffle or hiccup making her shift.

"Look at my girls," The blonde said proudly, her smile faltering when Indie still didn't smile.

"Are you sure she's okay?" Lexa asked, wiping Indie's cheek, which was still sticky from her tears.

"She's fine. Confused, scared, and probably sore, but she's fine non-the less. A goodnights rest will make it all better." Clarke said taking off her semi wet pajama top and grabbing a new one from her drawer.

"Hey, Clarke?"

"Mhmm," The blonde hummed, looking to her wife.

"Thanking you for trying to keep me calm. I don't know how you were able to stay so composed, but you really made me feel better," The brunette said, making her wife smile. Clarke crawled onto the bed and sat behind Indie, a hand going to stroke Lexa's hair as she spoke to her.

"I was freaking out too, but this was the first seizure you've had to witness firsthand. I'm around people at work, and Indie's had one before, so it was easier for me to know what was happening. You did great, babe. You are such a good mama to this little bug."

"Really?"

"Of course. You cried because it hurt to see her like that, but you knew that her body was reacting to its own commands. You didn't try to force anything from her or onto her when she was in that state, and that in itself is so brave and smart. A lot of people try to fix the problem when someone is having a seizure but they end up causing more damage. You truly did better than anyone would when their kid was having a seizure in front of them for the first time."

"Are we going to take her to the doctor anytime soon?"

"It may be good to talk about the stuttering and clumsiness, but she won't need an appointment right away. At least we are aware of what to look for when she's close to having a seizure." Clarke said, making Lexa nod in agreement.

"You know, maybe when Ind is older we should consider an assistant dog. You know, the ones who can alert others or the person themselves when a seizure is going to happen."

"That's a good idea. Maybe before she goes into middle school. She'd benefit."

"I only want to make this disability in her life bearable, you know?" Lexa asked, laughing lightly when Indie rested close to her.

"We'll help her through it. It's just apart of our life now."

* * *

 **I'm terrible, I know. Sorry for such a long wait everyone! The writers block got so real that I legit thought I would never be able to write again. Thank god my thoughts came back in full flow.**

 **To prevent any further stints, please leave a comment on what you hope to see in the following chapters? Maybe more kid perspectives? Or new relationships? How about more drama (for real though how much can this family take?)?**

 **Anything goes! Just type it in the comments and I will be sure to try to fit it in (please be reasonable.)**

 **Valentina**


	34. Chapter 34 - Light Happiness

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 34  
Light Happiness **

Sophie sat on the beach, the water kissing her toes as she shifted her camera around to find different sights to capture.

It was a beautifully sunny day, and some surfers had gone out to catch the waves of the morning, making the opportunity for some action shots available to the young girl. She had volleyball practice within the next two hours, but she was calm in her place at the shore, the salty air bringing ease to her mind as people showed themselves off in the water.

"Capture anything good?" The girl turned her head slightly and squinted when the sun caught her, however a person shifted slightly and soon a dark figure was replacing her sights. Before she could respond the girl who spoke was shoving her board into the wet sand and plopping herself beside the photographer.

"I hope so," was all Sophie could get out as she watched the beach blonde pull the back of her wet suit zipper and then shimmy her upper torso from it, leaving her in her bikini top.

"I've never seen you at our beach before," The girl ventured, resting her arms on her knees, making her abs taut. Sophie had to catch herself from staring too long.

"Our beach?" Sophie inquired, once more fitting her eye into the camera to find a new shot.

"You know, the rowdy teens with the boards? The surfers beach. It's our turf but I can't complain when someone with eyes like yours comes around," The surfer said, readjusting the bracelet she wore. It was a puka shell bracelet.

"Sorry if I crossed the dividing line," Sophie said with an amused grin, earning one back. "I usually go to the beach twenty minutes from my place but I heard about the surfing rush in the morning and couldn't pass up the shots."

"All is forgiven. But I must ask, why bother with the shot when you can just surf yourself?"

"Don't know how," Sophie responded simply to the stranger with a shrug, taking a small glance to see the sharp hazel eyes looking out to the water.

"You've got to let me teach you then. I may be cool with you hanging around but my buddies may not feel the same way unless you have a board with you."

"I don't even know your name," The teen responded with a small laugh.

"I don't know yours. I guess we're both in a tight spot, huh?" The blonde asked, shaking her fingers through her semi-wet locks.

"Sophie," The photographer stated with a sly grin, catching the eyes of the surfer who beamed at the name.

"Piper."

"Nice to meet you, Piper," Sophie said, offering a hand, which was clasped with a sand spotted one.

"Likewise."

~.~.~

"You're so beautiful," Jude said as his hands caressed the face of the girl before him. They were both hiding behind the gym, workout gear still on as their breaths were ragged from both the workout and their current make out session.

"Stop it," The girl said as her cheeks warmed, her hands going up to Jude's bare chest and then to hold his neck.

"I'll stop it when you stop being cute," Another giggle was earned, making the dark curly head duck her head down to rest on Jude's shoulder, trying her best to hide her intense blush. Jude was quick to tip her face back up to look at him, steady blue eyes matching the dark brown. "I love you, Riley."

The girl froze a moment at the words, shocked to hear them for the first time as they stood outside where they first met six months ago. A smile crept onto her face as she remembered seeing the boy she tried to bring back from a dark place smile not long after they met.

It was during the time that Lexa was in the hospital that Jude pushed himself the hardest and wound up sitting behind the gym in tears after each boxing session because it was all too much for him. The curious girl watched him go for a few days before her caring nature took over and she needed to ensure he was alright. From there the two would sit and talk behind the gym, growing a relationship. A bond. She made him smile first, and she held him when he told her his mom was going to die. And then when she did die. And when she finally came back.

He had gone through so much and she had held him through it all. So Jude was honest with his words when he said 'I love you', because Riley had brought so much greatness in a time of painful darkness.

"I love you too," The girl responded, chewing her bottom lip before creeping forward to place a soft kiss on her boyfriend's lips.

~.~.~

"Have you noticed something off about our twins lately?" Lexa asked as she came behind her wife and placed her hands over the small bump that was their child.

"Not off," Clarke began to say, leaning back into the embrace as they watched all their kids lounge around the living room. "Light. They seem happy," the blonde finally decided, grinning at the good-natured banters and playful actions the kids were displaying with one another. She was imaging their seventh little human that would be joining the fun soon.

"They do. Maybe things are starting to turn around for us. Indie hasn't had another seizure in a month, Willow has been making leaps and bounds with her anxiety control, Rowen is growing confident with who she is, Fin keeps getting smarter, the twins are smiling more. And now this baby. The Woods have come out of a heavy storm once again," Lexa recognized, earning a hum of content from her wife.

"I think we got out of that storm a while ago," Clarke said with a light chuckle, turning her head to kiss Lexa's jaw. "But maybe this is us entirely calming down. Only good things until the next storm hits."

"Hopefully we won't have a new storm for a while," The brunette said past a sigh.

"Our forecast is looking pretty clear this summer," Clarke replied, smiling at the thought of the kids being out of school in a month for their summer holidays. It was truly the most disturbing school year, but it felt like yesterday that the kids were preparing for their first day back to school. "Our babies are going to grade 12, Lex. Fin is leaving kindergarten," Clarke stated in slight shock, wondering where all their time had gone.

"Kids will do that. One minute their here," Lexa said rubbing her hands over Clarke's stomach. "And the next they're there," She said, nodding to the laughing twins. "All grown up and ready to fly but not quite strong enough yet. I know we'll help them soar, and by then the thought won't hurt as much because we'll be ready."

"I don't think I'll ever be ready to send the kids off to university. I'd like them to stay small," Clarke said, remembering the countless times she's demanded for her kids to stop growing.

"At the rate we feed them, I don't think it's physically possible. But they will always be our babies. Until the day we are old and gray and watching our great grand kids run amuck."

"Great grand kids?" Clarke asked. "Someone's optimistic."

"I intend to live past a hundred," Lexa said, earning a laugh.

"Then I guess I'll have to be over a hundred too. No way I'm leaving you here alone to watch our great grand kids."

"I would hope that you'd stay with me until the very end," Lexa said as her wife rotated in her hold. Clarke reached up and carefully drew the scar on the forehead of Lexa.

"Until my very last breath, Lex. I promised you that in my vows and I will promise you that forever," This earned a large smile.

"Good," The two kissed and small snickers could be heard, but they both ignored it. When growing up with parents this in love you were bound to see this kind of PDA more than once a day.

~.~.~

"That's a cool shot," Lexa commented as she stopped Sophie from changing the pictures on the laptop screen. The tanned back of a surfer was exposed as her wet hair was casted to the side and her head was focused on the water ahead. It was a simple photo, but the colours were magnificent.

"This surfer was just taking a break and I thought it looked pretty cool, so I took it," Sophie said, not adding onto the fact that she had spoken to the beach babe. Piper. The name still brought a smile to her face.

"Anything else?" Lexa asked as Sophie went on to the next photo of a dog covered in sand catching a Frisbee.

"Three more," Sophie said, stopping at the last shot of a surfer wiping out.

"That looks painful," Lexa said past a laugh as the laptop was placed aside.

"He got right back up, so it probably wasn't that bad," The girl said with a soft laugh, stopping when Jude's laugh was heard from his room.

"What had gotten into that boy today? He's all smiles and rainbows," Lexa said, shaking her head as she fondly stroked Sophie's long hair.

"It's been like that for a while now. I think he's starting to improve in boxing. Like he seems happier when he gets home from his sessions."

"Or maybe it's a someone," Lexa said, wiggling her eyebrows. Sophie groaned and laid herself down at an angle, her head on her mama's stomach as gentle fingers worked through her hair.

"Jude in a relationship?" Sophie scoffed. "Please."

"You never know. He is a very sensitive person."

"Really, mama? The boy who does nothing but watch sports and works out has the ideal ability to love a girl?"

"You do know that his life isn't entirely consumed by testosterone, right?" Lexa asked with a laugh, making her kid laugh as well.

"I'm just saying that he's never showed interest before. I'd think we'd know if her had a girlfriend," Another laugh came from the boy's room, making the mother and daughter chuckle.

"Well then he must be going insane if he finds time to laugh to himself in his own room at ten pm."

"Well you did raise him," Sophie said, earning a jab at her side.

"Hey, your mom is just as responsible for your guys' insanity as I am, if not more," Lexa said, stopping the fingers of her kid from tickling her.

"Whatever floats your boat, mama."

~.~.~

"How are the thoughts now, my love?" Clarke asked, pressing a kiss to the brunette's head as she cradled the thirteen year old close. Willow sniffled slightly and took a shaky hand up to wipe her cheeks before trying to find her words.

"Not as bad," She croaked out, taking a part of Clarke's shirt to play with.

"Do you want to come sleep in mama's and my bed?" The blonde offered, glancing at the other bed, which Rowen currently slept in. She had fallen asleep at nine; an hour after Willow drifted off; and luckily slept through the mild episode.

Clarke and Lexa went to check that the kids had fallen asleep at 9:30, Lexa going to the twins to remind them of their soon lights out, while Clarke was in charge of the younger kids. When Clarke found Willow crying and struggling to catch her breath it absolutely broke her heart.

"Can I get some water?" Willow asked, not having answered Clarke's question about where she wanted to sleep. Right now she was working through her motions before worrying about sleep.

"Yeah, let's go to the kitchen and get you a glass," Clarke said, rising from where she cuddled the girl and leading her to the closed door. They walked past the twins room and heard Lexa and Sophie laugh as well as Jude speak to someone on his phone before taking the stairs slowly and arriving at the kitchen.

Zorro joined them thinking he'd find food, but dejectedly went back upstairs to the babies room when he only saw a glass of water.

"You did really well with calming down, Will. That's the fastest I've ever seen you come down from a state like that," Clarke said as her child shakily drank from the cold glass. It was almost ten pm now, but true to her words, this was Willow's shortest panic attack. "Do you know what caused it?"

"No, it just happened," Willow said, tears coming to her eyes again.

"Don't cry, baby girl. Dr. Reynolds said that some panic attacks happen and you may not be able to find out why. It's natural and your mind is working itself out appropriately. You did nothing wrong," The blonde wrapped her kid in a hug and held her close until Willow nodded that she was okay. "Now, why don't we head up to mama's and my room and we can get mama to give you a massage, huh?"

The brunette nodded and went to refill her empty glass before joining her mom upstairs.

"Hey, Lex, we've got company," Clarke said when her wife arrived ten minutes later.

"Well if it isn't my lady bug!" Lexa said cheerfully, going over to her girl and placing a kiss on her cheek. "Why so glum chum?"

"I had a panic attack," Willow admitted, sipping from her glass of water.

"I'm sorry to hear that, lovey. Would a massage make it better?" The girl nodded and handed Clarke her near empty glass. She then proceeded to rest on her stomach and allow Lexa to push her shirt up to reveal her shoulders and lower back.

"Mom's going to grab the lavender oil," Lexa informed the young child while she lightly began to work on some knots. "You let it get bad again, missy. I thought I told you to come to me if you feel tense."

"Sorry, mama. I didn't want to bother you," Willow said honestly as she fiddled with the pillow cover.

"It's never a bother. I just don't want you to hurt more when we try to get rid of these knots," The brunette said, taking the oil from her wife and adding some onto the girl's back. "Tell me if it hurts too much."

Over the next hour Lexa worked on her daughter's back and finally called it when Willow dozed off and Clarke seemed close to giving in to her exhaustion.

"Was it bad?" Lexa asked her wife as they both cuddled close to their kid and took each other's hand over her back.

"She was just shaken up and couldn't catch her breath. It was shorter than usual," Clarke said, playing with Lexa's right hand.

"Do you know what caused it?"

"No, she said she just began to panic for no reason," Clarke said.

"Poor girl. Hopefully she'll rest tomorrow and can go to school on Monday as usual."

"She probably will."

"If she can't though we can always take her to the ob/gyn with us," Lexa said, smiling when she heard her wife laugh lightly.

"I can't wait to see our little speck. Those appointments always make me excited," Clarke said honestly, now making Lexa laugh.

"Me too. Our tiny human better smile for the camera."

"Our little human hardly has a face yet," Clarke reminded.

"Well then, our dot better shine on that screen."

* * *

 **New relationships, new baby, what else?  
Just a side note, the story is now in June, so the kids have a little less than a month until summer break. As for ages for the characters, I gave them birthdays (look below). I didn't really want to have them celebrated in a chapter, so birthdays will be skipped over (sorry if you didn;t want me to do that).**

 **Hey comment below on the new baby! Name, gender, attributes, and any other parts you'd like me to add. I will later put up some more questions regarding this new character development (I can promise you that he/she will not die before the birth), as for now just let me know what you'd most like to see.**

 **Comment, Like, Follow :)**

 **Valentina**

 ******CHARACTER FACTS**** (these ages are updated to correspond with the time of the story)**

 **To help you out I vaguley placed years to certain moments. Clarke and Lexa married in 2016 and had the twins two years later so 2018. So the story is roughly started in 2034 and is now placed in 2035, becasue Indie would've been born in 2032, and was two at the start of the story. Sorry if that's confusing.**

May 16th, 2018 17 year old – Male – Jude Hunter Woods

May 16th, 2018 17 year old – Female - Sophie Lena Woods

February 3rd, 2022 13 year old – Female – Willow Marley Woods

July 9th, 2026 8 year old – Female – Rowen Ella Woods

September 1st, 2030 4 year old – Male - Finlay Benjamin Woods

November 28th, 2032 2 year old – Female – Indie Storm Woods


	35. Chapter 35 - Little Blob

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 35** **  
Little Blob**

"Hey, Lex. Did you get the little ones up?" Clarke asked as she rushed down the stairs dressed in her work clothes. The family was truthfully running behind that morning and were cutting it close with their getting ready and eating time.

"Indie is dressed and fed, the little girls are gathering their homework, and the teens are coming down to eat in a few minutes. As for Fin, I left him sleeping. He's not feeling well."

"What's wrong with him?" Clarke asked as she took a piece of toast and popped it in the toaster.

"Sore throat, stuffy nose. The works," Lexa said, going behind her wife and nuzzling her nose against her neck.

"I guess we have company for the appointment then?" Clarke asked with a small laugh, her slightly existing abs becoming taut as Lexa's hands found their way under her shirt. This has become their new favourite position.

"I guess we do," Lexa hummed, placing kisses on Clarke's neck.

"Is it me, or do I seem bigger than the other pregnancies?"

"Baby, you are no more than eight weeks along. You are practically the same size as you were with each baby before," The brunette said.

"You're probably right. Maybe I'm just farther along than I thought," Clarke turned in her wife's arms and placed a kiss on her lips before speaking, "Why don't you swing by for my lunch break with Fin and we can go out before the appointment for some food."

"That sounds like a good idea. I need to talk to you about going back to work and when you need to stop working," The brunette reminded, making Clarke scrunch up her nose.

"I know we've had short conversations about this but I would really like it if we spoke logically about your safety as a cop."

"Of course, love. This is just another short conversation. I promise that we will have all of Friday evening to discuss it properly when the kids go to O's and Lincoln's place," Clarke nodded to this and placed one more kiss to Lexa's lips before grabbing her toast.

"I'm going to check on Fin and send the twins down to eat. You've got twenty minutes to get your cute butt out of here," Lexa reminded kissing her wife's cheek before heading up the stairs to find her kids.

The twins passed her on her way down, and the little girls could be heard talking in their room as they grabbed their stuff, leaving Lexa with one task. She pushed the door open of the darkened room and heard the snoring of her congested son.

Carefully she knelt by the bed and ran her fingers through the blonde hair, feeling a slight heat coming from his forehead as well as a red tinge to his normally pale face. She knew he needed to rest to get rid of this bug, but his fever was spiking and he needed medicine before it got worse.

"Hey, love. Can you wake up for a minute?" A small groan came through and Finlay sat up, whimpering at how he felt. "Hi baby, how do you feel?" Lexa asked, running her fingers through the blonde hair.

"My tummy hurts," Finlay said, sniffling through a congested nose.

"I'm sure it does. Why don't we get some medicine in you and then you can sleep for a while longer, yeah?"

"Okay," He said, getting up and walking with Lexa to the master bathroom. The woman opened the medicine cabinet and looked through the various bottles of cough syrups and advils. All prescription medication was located in the basket in the kitchen, making the search for something cold/flu related easier. "Bingo," She declared, pulling out a children's cold symptom syrup. Moving to the sink, she poured out the appropriate amount and handed it to her son who drank it with a face of disgust.

"Doesn't taste like grape," He said, handing the empty cup back to Lexa.

"They never taste good, bud," Lexa said past a laugh, turning on the sink and taking some soap, washing the small cup before putting it back on the top of the bottle and into the medicine cabinet.

"Can I go back to bed?" He asked, wiping his eyes.

"Sure thing," Lexa scooped him into her arms and moved back to the small bedroom. Before she allowed him to lie down she helped him blow his nose, clearing up a majority of his congestion.

With her boy resting Lexa moved back downstairs where her family was setting up at the door.

"Alright, so mama and I are picking you guys up from school today after the doctor's appointment. Then we're going to drop off Jude at the gym, Rowen at swimming, and I'm going to leave mama and Will at the therapists. Soph would you mind helping me with the little ones this evening?" Clarke asked, trying to put on her shoes.

"Sure thing," The brunette agreed, thinking it would be a good opportunity to ask her mom about buying a surfboard.

"Will and I will walk home," Lexa offered, wrapping an arm around the girl she was talking about.

"Okay, I'll drive to get Row, and I can get Jude on the way."

"Don't bother, Aunt Tavia and Uncle Linc are going to drive me. I want to get in some extra practice today," The boy said, swinging his sports bag over his shoulder.

"Are you having dinner here?" Lexa inquired, laughing when Indie lifted her arms up to be carried.

"Uh yeah, I think so. I'll call you before six to let you know."  
"Alright, thank you," She kissed her son's cheek and followed her wife out the door, disregarding the fact that she didn't have shoes on.

"Astrid, stay in the house!" Willow yelled, spooking both mothers who turned to see their kid.

"Don't yell at her, she's just a puppy," Sophie said, watching as the door was shut with both dogs behind it. Zorro had learned not to try to leave but Astrid had some learning to do.

"Maybe you should keep her home with you? She's still not 100% after that panic attack," Clarke said quietly as Lexa buckled Indie into her carseat.

"I've offered all morning but she just refuses. I'll ask to speak to Dr. Reynolds privately after her appointment," The brunette kissed her wife on the lips and pecked Indie's cheek before she moved aside so the others could climb in.

"Love you, mama," Rowen said, hugging her mama before getting in as well.

"Be good today," Lexa said, patting her kid's bum as she walked to the back.

"Bye mom, love you," Sophie said, kissing Lexa's cheek as she too got in the back. Jude triumphantly sat in the front seeing as he won their rock paper scissors match.

Before a still frustrated Willow could get in Lexa took her shoulders to stop her.

"I know you're having an off day but I want you to take three deep breaths. I don't care where you are of how dumb you think it is, I want you to simply breath in and out nice and deeply until you feel like you have relaxed. Can you do that for me?"

The girl looked to her feet and contemplated the thought before glancing back up and nodding.

"Thank you," Lexa kissed her kid's forehead before allowing her into the car where the others waited.

"I'll see you at lunch. Love you, babe!" Clarke said through her open window,waving to her wife as she backed out of the driveway.

"Love you too, drive safe!" Lexa called, smiling at the car before it drove down the neighborhood road. Once they were gone she turned back and went into the house, smiling at the dogs who were excited to see her.

~.~.~

"What does that machine do?" Finlay asked as Lexa wiped his nose for the umpteenth time that day. Clarke laughed from her place on the examination table and answered him.

"That machine is what shows the baby inside of me," Clarke explained, happy that her son had seemed to perk up slightly after resting in the morning.

"Did you see me like that?" He inquired, playing with Lexa's wedding ring.

"Yup. The image you see doesn't look the pictures on my phone, though. It's black and white and has funny shapes. The doctor will show you what part is your baby sibling," Lexa said, kissing his forehead before the door opened to reveal to og/byn.

"Hi, ladies. Sorry for the wait," She said, shutting the door before turning and taking a seat on the stool.

"No worries," Clarke said, getting excited about seeing the baby.

"Well, why don't we meet the little one, shall we?" Both women nodded eagerly. The doctor flipped on the machine and grabbed the required items before prepping Clarke's stomach with blue gel and using the wand to roll over her abdomen. Soon enough, a grainy image was being displayed and a rumble of what could be identified as the heartbeat.

"And there you go. Looks to be like you're about eight weeks along," The doctor said with a smile, pointing to the small blob on the screen.

"That's not a baby, mama," Finlay said, tugging Lexa's arm.

"It is bud, he or she is just super tiny," Lexa explained, using her fingers to show just how petit the new sibling is.

"Wow," The blonde said in awe, looking to the screen again. "Can you feel it, mommy?"

"No, but I will soon," Clarke said, wiping her cheeks when she realized the tears that were falling. Lexa took her wife's hand and kissed her knuckles, offering her support as they both admired their little blob.

This moment purely and authentically beautiful.

* * *

 **Hey, sorry for the major delay. August was wild and I was out of town so I couldn't update. But I was able to write so expect more. In other news, if there are any Fifth Harmony (Camren shippers) out there I've got two (maybe three) stories for you on Wattpad. Just check out my account: SolLunaEstrellas. I've got two stories I'm dedicating myself to called Wild Things, and Feathers. The third story, Asteroids and Constellations, has taken a back seat but I may pick it up if people take interest in it.**

 **Anyways, get ready for something new in chapter 36. I'm very excited to post it :)**

 **Like, Comment, Follow :)**

 **-Valentina**


	36. Chapter 36 - Wilde

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 36  
Wilde**

Four months later…

"Mama, mama, mama! Aunt Tavia's on the phone!" Willow barreled into the kitchen and thrust the phone into her mother's hand, a wild look in her eyes. Lexa lifted an eyebrow and took the phone before an audible groan could be heard on the other end.

"O?" Lexa asked into the speaker, glancing at Willow who was drumming her fingers worriedly.

"Lex, the baby is coming. The baby is coming and Linc is in the gym! He won't pick up the phone!" Octavia sobbed from her end, the pain evident in her tone.

"Crap!" Lexa yelled, jumping up and spooking Willow in the process. Clarke had taken Indie and Finlay out to the park with some of the other kids in the neighbourhood, Jude and Sophie were at the highschool, busy signing up for after school activities for the new school year, and Rowen was at swimming. Willow had a headache so she opted out of going to track that day, but Lexa had a strong feeling it had something to do with the new additions to her team.

"Is Aunt Tavia okay?" Willow asked, her panic matching her mother's as they hurried up the stairs.

"Will, go get your shoes on, we have to go take Aunt Tavia to the hospital. O, sweetie, breathe. I know it hurts. It's almost done, deep breath," Lexa said, running to grab her car keys as well as Willow's new phone which she knew was charging in the girls room.

Soon the mother and daughter were in the car, Lexa having put her sister on speaker so they could speak.

"Will, call mom and tell her what's wrong," The brunette said, listening to her sister breathe on the other line. "I'm going to kill Linc."

"Get in line, sis," Octavia said, her voice pained but a laugh coming through.

"We'll be there in ten minutes, O. Just keep breathing and tell me when the next contraction hits so I know how far apart they are."

"What if they're too close?"

"Then you call 911, dummy. Now breathe. I know you're holding your breath," Lexa said, laughing slightly when there was a release of air on the other line.

Willow groaned from her seat suddenly, slamming a hand on the leather of her seat as she re-dialed her mom.

"Mom won't pick up!" She said, pressing her cell to her ear.

"That's fine, just text her. If anything she'll call me when she sees we're not home. It's okay, Will. Thank you for trying," Lexa said, knowing that her kid was getting frustrated.

"Lex, it's starting again," Octavia said with a whimper, Lexa glancing at the clock on the dashboard.

"Okay they're seven minutes apart. I'm pulling up right now. Is the door unlocked?"

"Yeah," Octavia choked out, a sob escaping her as the phone was removed from speaker and brought back to Lexa's ear.

"I'm coming for you, it's okay," The brunette ran into the house, hanging up her call and shoving the phone into her back pocket. She found Octavia in her bedroom, the woman on the bed with her arms wrapped around her waist. She was in visible pain and that broke Lexa's heart.

"I got you," The brunette said, taking her sister into her arms as she allowed the pain to run its course.

"It hurts, Lex," Octavia choked out, shaking her head against Lexa's chest.

"I know. I had three of these suckers, remember?" The earned a chuckle. "You are going to be okay, O. It'll pass," And sure enough the pain passed, allowing Lexa to walk the woman down the stairs and to the car where she was promptly placed into the backseat.

"Hi, Aunt Tavia," Willow said, looking to her aunt in the back.

"Hi, baby. Sorry if I freaked you out over the phone. This shit hurts," The brunette said, earning a disapproving glare from Lexa before the door was shut.

"Mama, I tried calling Uncle Linc but he still won't pick up so I called the gym."

"She's smarter than the rest of the world, I swear," Octavia said from the back, realizing she should have done that herself.

"Anyways, Uncle Linc almost passed out but he said he'd meet us at the hospital," The petit girl said, glancing at her phone to make sure her mom didn't call. "And mom still hasn't looked at her phone."

"She is trying to make sure that your sister doesn't eat cat poop sand, so she's excused," Lexa said with a shrug, making the proper turn to the hospital.

"Wait there's poop in those sand boxes?" Octavia asks from the back.

"Yup. A ton of it," The brunette responded.

"That's horrible. You let your kids play in that?"

"Builds their immune system," Lexa said, chuckling to herself.

"I can't believe I'm not dead," Willow said, looking back to her aunt, who shook her head and sighed.

"I'm not taking parenting advice from either you or Clarke, fyi."

"Shush, you'll be in pain in less than a minute," Lexa said, feeling less terrible for the small torture.

"Fuck you," Octavia groaned, her contraction coming in full swing.

"Language," Both Willow and Lexa said.

"Shu-t u-p," Octavia said, reaching forward and taking Willow's hand.

"Ow, Aunt Tavia not so hard!" Willow said, withering from the death grip.

"I have a human forcing it's way out of me. You don't know pain, kid," Octavia bit back, throwing her head back lightly as she shut her eyes.

"At least you don't need your hands to run," Lexa said, earning an eye roll from Willow. "Such a teenager."

"Sorry, my hand is currently being broken to little bits."

"Sorry, but I'm currently in labour so you know, I win!" Octavia cried out, earning slight chuckles, which were quickly smothered by both people at the front. Soon enough they arrived at the hospital where Octavia was assisted onto a wheelchair and whisked into a room. Lexa and Willow were forced to follow, primarily because the girl was still in her aunt's death grip.

"A man will be coming in soon. His name is Lincoln, he's her husband," Lexa explained to a nurse once they went into a room.

"I will be sure to send him here when he arrives," She responded, smiling kindly before she slipped away and allowed her other two colleagues to set Octavia up on the bed.

"May I have my hand back?" Willow asked unsurely, trying to move her fingers.

"No," Octavia responded, shaking her head as she loosened her grip slightly. Willow sighed with the sudden rush of blood in her fingers.

"I'm never having a baby," Willow informed Lexa as a brand new contraction hit her aunt and sent her hand into a crimpling grip again.

"Okay, give me her hand. Go and keep a look out for your uncle," Lexa said, moving to relieve her kid of the pain. Soon enough it was her hand that was being crushed.

Lincoln arrived when the contractions came four minutes apart, taking Lexa's place as he stroked his wife's sweaty hair and placed a kiss on her cheeks.

"So a baby?" Octavia asked as her pain passed.

"A baby. This is it, O," Lincoln said, placing another kiss to Octavia's forehead.

~.~.~

"How's she doing?" Clarke asked as Lexa stepped out from the room where a scream came loud and clear just seconds before.

"Almost there. She has another centimeter to go," Lexa said, puffing out a breath at the sight of Willow stretched out on the chairs with her head on Clarke's lap. She seemed slightly pale but the lighting could have easily been the cause of that. "How is she?"

"Just tired. Her headache got a little worse from the hospital lights," Clarke said with a shrug, peering down to double check that her kid was conked out before she slid out from her spot and approached her wife. "Are you okay?"

Lexa moved from foot to foot slightly, biting her lower lip before shaking her head. "I don't like seeing her in pain. She just seems-" Another scream followed by a sob came from the closed door. Lexa flinched.

"I know this is hard, Lex. Just keep taking breaks," Clarke said, remembering the number of times her wife needed to leave the room when she was in labour. Thankfully Lincoln and Octavia stuck around to help her while Lexa composed herself. The woman was never good with watching people suffer.

"You know, I've managed to push it aside these four months, but watching O now I can't seem to shake the thought of you having to go through this again," The brunette admitted, earning a small chuckle from Clarke.

"No way. Don't think about it, okay? You know as well as I do that the pain compares little to what you receive in return," Clarke said, moving Lexa's hands to cover her six-month stomach. Lexa smiled lightly at the contact.

"I can't wait to meet our baby," Lexa said, leaning forward to kiss Clarke, caressing her stomach once more before moving back to the room where Octavia was now calming down.

"Is the baby here?" Willow asked groggily as Clarke sat down again and returned to her rhythmic stroking of the kid's hair.

"Not yet, go back to sleep," The blonde said, seeing the slight look of pain from the still existent headache.

"Okay," Willow said, moving slightly to place her head on her mom's lap once again.

Screams echoed through the hallway as Octavia neared the end of her labour.

~.~.~

"We have to be super quiet because Octavia is resting, but I want you all to meet your cousin," Lincoln led his four nieces and two nephews into the room, glancing to the bed where Octavia slept and Lexa watched over the bassinet.

Clarke carried Indie who was proudly staying quiet like a big girl would, and Finlay rode on Jude's back, pushing up slightly to get a better look at the baby.

"What's the name?" Sophie asked, feeling tears well in her eyes as she took in the sight of her baby cousin. He had gorgeous cheeks and long tufts of dark curls. His skin tone landed between both his parents and his eyes had yet to open to reveal the dark blue that all babies have at birth.

"Wilde," Lincoln stated proudly, placing a hand on his son's head. "Wilde Aaron Elwood."

* * *

 **YAY THE BABY IS HERE! Now all we have is Clarke and Lexa's little one. Any idea on what it should be? I still don't know what would be the best idea.**

 **Anways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter.**

 **I START SCHOOL TOMORROW! NOOOOOOOOO. Maybe if I had a girlfriend this would be easier (I don't know, it's easier when you have someone who loves you through the bad stuff).**

 **Like, Comment, Follow :)**

 **-Valentina**


	37. Chapter 37 - Who Is She?

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to the 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 37  
Who Is She?**

"I can't believe this," Sophie stated as the family sat at the dinner table, Jude's previous statement causing her to speak up.

"Shut it, Soph," Jude said, shaking his head as he looked down at his food.

"Seriously, what on earth is this? We didn't know about your girlfriend for almost a year? That's messed up, dude."

"Sophie, leave your brother alone," Lexa said, giving the girl a pointed look before turning to her son. "I wished you would've told us about her sooner, Jude. But your mom and I always tell you kids that you have to be comfortable with what is going on before you expose it to others. If you feel like now is the best time to share her to the world, then I am more than happy to hear that you want to bring her to dinner on Friday."

"Thanks, mama," Jude said, blushing at the thought of finally being able to bring his girlfriend over whenever he wanted.

"So what's she like?" Clarke asked, earning snickers from the table.

"She's umm, she's really smart. And funny. And her smile is really beautiful."

"Oh boy, he's whipped," Sophie said, groaning at the boy's rambling.

"And you're not?" Lexa shot at her daughter, earning a slight groan from her.

"She's a friend," The teen responded, however, a blush similar to Jude's was creeping up on her cheeks.

"Back to Riley. What else can you tell us about her?" Clarke asked, handing Indie a handful of peas.

"She was boxer of the month last month at the gym."

"So she's a good boxer?" Lexa inquired.

"Very," Jude said, nodding his head with slight pride.

"Well we can't wait to meet her," Clarke said.

"Yeah. Wait till she hears about all your embarrassing baby stories," Sophie said, earning a kick from her brother and stare from her mama. "Okay, okay. I'm done. May I be excused please?"

"And why's that?" Lexa inquired.

"I promised to meet Piper at the beach so I can get some shots of her surfing."

"I'm guessing these were pre-existing plans based off the fact you said 'promised'," Clarke sighed.

"Please?" The girl asked, fidgeting in her seat. She knew her moms hated plans that were out of the blue but Piper needed her and she was about as whipped as Jude was.

"Be back before nine. It's a school night, remember?" Lexa asked, grinning when she saw her daughter's smile.

"Of course. Thank you, mama. Love you both," The girl made quick work with grabbing her plate from the table and putting it in the sink before kissing both her moms cheeks.

"You little ones aren't allowed to date until your fourty," Clarke said, addressing her other four kids who giggled.

"Boys are gross," Rowen stated.

"Couldn't have said it any better myself, sweetheart," Lexa offered a fist, which the girl gladly hit. More laughs occurred when the two made exploding noises.

~.~.~

"Shirt, off," Piper commanded between kisses, pulling Sophie up off her bed slightly as the garment was quickly thrown off. The blonde continued to trail kisses down the brunette's neck and chest area, her hands working at the bra strap that kept her beautiful girlfriend covered.

"You smell like the ocean," Sophie commented, closing her eyes when Piper sucked on her neck slightly.

"And?" The beach babe inquired, glancing up to lock her hazel eyes onto deep blue ones.

"And it's making me really hot," Sophie said matter of factly, adoring the way the setting sun shone through the beach house window and created a halo around the blonde's head.

"And bothered?" Piper asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Shut up," Sophie blushed, forcing their lips back together as she made them switch positions and took her time with undressing the surfer.

Once the girl laid bare she stood up from the bed, earning a groan of disapproval.

"Come back to me," Piper whimpered, reaching out with a pout on her face.

"So you don't want me naked?" Sophie inquired, wiggling her still short cladded bottom.

"In that case, the stage is all yours, beautiful," The surfer responded, smiling in amusement as her girlfriend stripped of her shorts and underwear, revealing her tanned skin from their many days on the beach together. "C'mere," She said once the awe like staring subsided.

Sophie moved towards the girl with a bashful smile, her head ducked slightly as she felt a rush of embarrassment. This wasn't her first time naked in front of her girlfriend, but it certainly did not decrease the amount of shock factor there was when she was bare before the blonde.

"You are so beautiful," Piper breathed out, pressing her body close to Sophie's as she sat up on her knees. Sophie had yet to get on the bed, making them face each other evenly due to the brunette being shorter than the blonde by a few inches when they stood side by side.

"Why do you do that?"

"Do what?" the surfer inquired, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Say those things in that voice?" Sophie said, having realized that this is usually what happened when they were both finally undressed.

"Because I am completely, and utterly in awe with your existence, Sophie Woods."

This earned some more blushing and an attempt of unlocking their eyes but Piper kept the girl's gaze, smiling when she saw how shy she truly was.

"Have I mentioned that I love you?"

"Yeah, about fifty times yesterday when you wiped out and thought down was up and almost died," Both laughed at the surfing failure yesterday, Sophie pushing the girl back slightly in embarrassment.

"I could have died," She protested, earning a sly grin from Piper.

"Then let me show you just how happy I am that you're alive," Piper said, placing a sweet yet simple kiss to Sophie's lips before pulling her onto the bed.

~.~.~

Wednesday afternoon…

It was over the summer that Lexa finally went back to work, Clarke agreeing to her wife's return to the field so long as she wasn't taken undercover, and she changed her division.

Her move to division 4, the same distance from the house as her last, proved to be incredibly beneficial. Jasper had also moved with her, however, their partnership was broken so they could learn the new streets with other cops. Jasper was partnered with Monty Green and Lexa with Bellamy Blake.

The dark haired man was proud, head strong, and about as stubborn as Lexa, if not more. The two went head to head at first, arguing that they both had the greater skill, but soon enough they found common ground and took to the streets as the best police partners in the state.

The change not only upped Lexa's pay, but it allowed her to feel fulfilled with her career choice and her line of duty like when she was younger.

She was walking with Bellamy through Hollywood Boulevard, watching the rush of tourists as they pointed cameras to the ground and played along with the people dressed up as dead stars.

"So your son is bringing home a girl?" Bellamy asked in amusement, glancing to the brunette as they walked.

"Yeah, and he didn't tell Clarke or myself about her for almost a year."

"You two must be pretty embarrassing," The man chuckled, earning a punch to his upper arm.

"Be nice," Lexa warned.

"I'm always nice," Bellamy said cockily, crossing his arms. A man juggling did a theatrical bow their way as they passed, making both cops smile. "Anyways, how's the littlest one?"

"Indie is good. She has another doctor's appointment in a week. The activity in her brain is going insane," The green-eyed woman looked to her feet sadly for a moment. Over the summer Indie managed to have five seizures, primarily due to the intense heat wave they experienced, but none the less she was in and out of the hospital for daily or nightly monitoring.

"I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sure she'll be fine," Bellamy patted Lexa's back, being her friend for the moment instead of her banter buddy. It was true that the two grew close enough to share life stories, and family information. Bellamy had told Lexa about his wife Gina, and two sons Arthur and Gavin. The twins were nine years old and based off the shared pictures had Bellamy's face structure but all of Gina's facial attributes.

"How're the boys?" Lexa asked, switching topics.

"Good. Gina and I are planning to get them a dog soon," The man said with a fond smile on his face.

"Oh man, you're in for a ride, my friend," Lexa said, now her turn coming around to laugh.

"You have dogs?"

"Two. I can't believe I never mentioned them before. My sister and brother in law have a dog shelter. They go to different countries and collect the sickest or most injured street dogs and bring them back to LA for treatment, rehabilitation, and then adoption. They gave us a golden retriever three years ago, and a newfoundland mix last year."

"What're their names?"

"The goldren retriever's name is Zorro and the newer one is Astrid."

"Good names," Bellamy said. "Maybe Gina and I will check out the shelter. Are there any dogs available?"

"They always have adoptable dogs. And cats. They're called Animalkru."

"My boys are going to lose it when we get them a dog."

"I have to admit, the way their faces light up is the best part of it all," Before Lexa could continue her phone buzzed in her leg pocket. "Hold on a sec," She pulled up her phone and answered it, smiling when she heard Willow's voice.

"Hey, mama."

"Hi, ladybug. What's up?" Lexa asked, wondering why her kid wasn't at track in the first place.

"Well, I know you and mom aren't supposed to be home for another hour, but I came home after school with everyone and a lady just came to the door asking for mom."

"We'll talk about you missing practice _again_ later, but who's at the door?"

"Her name is Abby," Lexa's heart stopped for a moment. "She said she won't leave until mom comes home but she won't pick up her phone since it's in the locker. Mama, who is she?"

* * *

 **And I'm back. Grade 12 is a drag guys. Everyone said it would be fun but holy crap it's overwhelming. I've got up to chapter 42 written so we should be set for a while but please forgive me for the long delay.**

 **Okay, so Abby's back. Whatttttttt? I may expand on this later or I may close it in the next chapter. I'll have to see.**

 **What do you want? Do you think Clarke should get back to her mom and four siblings or would that be too crazy?**

 **Like, Comment, Follow :)**

 **-Valentina**

 **P.S. Any Americans out there who don't feel safe right now, please know that you are not alone and please seek out help if you are feeling targeted or unsafe at ANY point. You are important, and you are loved. Please remember that. All of you.**


	38. Chapter 38 - Batman

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to the 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 38  
Batman**

"You can't just come here and bombard my children like that!" Clarke screamed, waving her arms around as she pointed to the stairs, indicating that her kids had been sent to their rooms for the evening.

"I just wanted to talk," Abby said, sitting as still as possible on the couch of her daughter.

"It was unexpected, Abby," Lexa said, clearly calmer than her wife.

"This is between my daughter and I."

"No, it's not!" Clarke barked out. "That is my wife and she will be respected in _her_ home. She is allowed to speak no matter her relation to you, because she is the person who has stood by me for all these years."

"Come sit, baby," Lexa said, reaching for the blonde's hand. She didn't want the stress to harm her wife or her baby. Clarke nodded in compliance and took a seat as close to Lexa as she could, feeding off of her brave persona.

"How far along are you?" Abby asked, trying to ease the anger in the blonde. This proved to do the opposite.

"None of your business."

"I'm trying to bring peace between us, Clarke," Abby said with a sigh.

"You had twenty years to do that. I invited you to the wedding two years after our fight. You refused. I sent you a message when Lexa was pregnant with the twins two years after that. You ignored it. I tried to reach out to you and _you_ pushed away each attempt."

"I was being stubborn, and proud," Abby tried to excuse.

"No, you were angry at my lifestyle so you chose not to accept it. You chose to ignore it and ignore me."

"Your father passed away a week from today," Abby said carefully, biting her lip.

"I know that!" Clarke screamed, her anger spiking again. Lexa instantly rubbed her back to try to soothe her.

"He was the glue to our family, you know?" Abby said, looking to the rug. "He knew how to talk to you kids, and he knew how to appreciate the little things that I couldn't. You took after him. A lot," Clarke glowered at the woman opposite of her but allowed her to go on. "After he passed away you were there for your siblings when I wasn't. Not even your older brother and sister could do the things you did when it came to taking care of each other. I understand now why you were so adamant about protecting my daughter," Abby said, looking to Lexa. "You saw all the good in her when I didn't."

"I'll always see the good in her," Lexa said, still trying to comfort her wife with gentle touches, small kisses, and caring words.

"I don't expect you to forgive me. Either of you. But I hope you understand that I am truly sorry and very proud when I see the family that you two wonderful women have made. All the kids are beautiful."

"Thank you, Abby," Lexa said, nodding her head.

"I'll let myself out," Abby rose from the couch and went for the door, glancing back once more to see Clarke in the safety of Lexa's arms, her body now entirely over the brunette's. She smiled despite being the cause of her daughter's pain. She knew that Clarke was right where she was supposed to be.

~.~.~

As soon as the door shut Clarke let out a sob, clinging to Lexa tightly as she shook.

"Breathe, baby. I've got you," Lexa said, running her hand over the blonde's hair.

"How could she do that?" Clarke asked, still not lifting her face from its place on Lexa's neck and chest.

"I don't know, love. But please don't let it get to you. This isn't good for you or the baby," The brunette stressed.

"The kids-"

"Are fine and will be sat down later so they can understand what happened."

"They heard me screaming, didn't they?" Clarke asked, wiping her cheeks.

"Probably, but they know better than to assume anything. I'll check on them right after you calm down," Lexa promised, placing a kiss on Clarke's flushed cheek. "How about we move upstairs and you can rest, yeah?"

"Okay," Clarke agreed, allowing Lexa to take her hand before they moved upstairs and set themselves up on the bed. "Why does this hurt so much?" Clarke asked once she was settled in Lexa's arms.

"What do you mean?"

"Seeing my mom again. Why does it hurt? I thought I worked through all the pain years ago and then she just shows up and stirs things inside of me again."

"Because you care too much to let go, baby. I don't think you'll ever be able to face her without feeling this pain because deep down it's etched into you. It's what broke you but it's also made you."

"Was I too mean?"

"No, you were fair and honest. I would be surprised if you reacted any differently to her showing up out of the blue like that."

Clarke was silent for a moment before she turned in Lexa's hold and allowed her stomach to be between them.

"I never want my kids to resent me the way I resent my mom," The blonde admitted.

"They will never be able to, baby. We accept our children for all they are and all they want to be. Your mom didn't."

"I love you," The blue-eyed woman said, nuzzling her nose against the green-eyed woman's.

"I love you, too."

~.~.~

"Mommy, baby move," Indie said, pointing to the stomach of the blonde, her grey eyes glowing with excitement.

"Yeah rascal, the baby moved again," Clarke replied, taking the toddlers hand to feel where more kicks were. Indie giggled loudly and quickly pulled her hand back.

"Weird," Indie exclaimed, earning laughs from her mom.

"Very weird," The blonde agreed, stroking Indie's cheek before Lexa entered the master bedroom. "Hey babe."

"Hi," Lexa smiled at the two, getting on the bed and running a hand over her wife's bare stomach.

"Baby's kicking and Indie wanted to see," Clarke said, taking Indie's hand when she felt new kicks. They repeated the reaction process, making all three laugh before Lexa brought up her conversation with Willow.

"So she's scared of having a panic attack in front of her new team mates," The brunette said as she watched her wife lovingly stroke Indie's hair, the child still watching the stomach.

"Really?" Clarke asked, not knowing that Willow was self-conscious of her anxiety.

"She said that they might think she's weird or a baby."

"Did you tell her that's not true?"

"Of course," Lexa said, nodding her head as she carefully drew a shape on the side of Clarke's belly. "I think this is one of her new things that we have to keep working into her mind. Before every practice we reassure her, build her a new plan if she feels like she's panicking, have Raven help out. You know?"

"Yeah, you're right. I really wish she knew that she wasn't abnormal because of her anxiety."

"She sometimes feels like no ones knows what it's like," Lexa said carefully.

"That's probably because she has no one her age who can relate to her in any way. She's too scared to make friends. Wait, she didn't say she wanted to quit running, right?" Clarke asked, the thought occurring to her suddenly.

"She said she wouldn't mind leaving but I put my foot down. I said she had too much talent and Raven had dedicated so much to get her where she was. I think you should drive her to school alone tomorrow though and try to get across the idea that the anxiety isn't something people will make fun of."

"I can do that. How about you take the older kids and little ones to the high school, elementary and preschool while I take Willow to the middle school?"  
"We can work with that," Lexa said, nodding her head. Indie giggled loudly suddenly, bringing the two parents from the conversation.

"What's so funny, Ind?" Clarke asked.

"Feet!" Indie pointed to the slight shape of the baby's foot against Clarke's stomach.

"This little one is really moving tonight," The blonde said, poking the small foot of their baby who shifted again within her.

"Two more months," Lexa said happily.

"Almost there, babe."

~.~.~

"Fin, don't pick your nose," Lexa said, shaking her head at the youngest boy who quickly stopped the action. "Go wash your hands."

He quickly complied and headed for the main floor bathroom while Lexa returned to making dinner.

"Hey mama, Riley is almost here," Jude said as he popped into the kitchen. "Are you sure-"

"Your siblings will be on their best behaviours. And Sophie won't be making any comments because I invited Piper who will be keeping that girl in check."

"She is so whipped," Jude snorted.

"And you aren't?" The mother teased, moving to grab dishes.

"I was going to offer to set the table but you have given me reason not to," The boy shot back, earning a glare before he ran from the room.

"You used to be a good boy!" Lexa called loudly. Laughter came from the living room where Sophie and her 'friend' sat watching TV but soon faded as they silenced.

"Sophie, Piper! Get your butts in here," The brunette said, hearing the groans of displeasure.

"Hello mother," Sophie said, giving her mama a look.

"I thought you two would be free to set the table," Lexa said with a shrug as she returned to her food.

"Sure thing, Lexa," Piper said, taking the offered cutlery to place around the set plates.

"You should make Riley set the table next time she comes over," Sophie mumbled as she grabbed cups.

"Be good," Both Lexa and Piper said at the same time.

"I really like this kid," Lexa informed her daughter, gesturing to the surfer.

"I do too," Sophie said, smirking at Piper before grabbing the napkin holder. "Where's mom by the way? You really need someone to keep you in line."

"Well excuse me," Lexa said, mocking offense as she took the wooden spoon from the pot and pointed it at her daughter. "I am capable of staying in line."

"Please tell me you didn't cook," Sophie said, suddenly realizing that what her mama was busy doing.

Lexa scoffed and dropped the spoon back in the pot. "Do you think I intend to poison your brother's girlfriend? Your mom made it and is taking a shower. I'm just making sure it doesn't go bubble, bubble, whoosh!"

Piper giggled while Sophie rolled her eyes.

"It smells good so I guess you're doing a pretty good job," The blonde said, making Lexa beam.

"Yay, I haven't screwed up yet!"

"Give it two minutes," Sophie warned, smiling when arms wrapped around her waist.

"Go away and stop being cute," Lexa said, waving the girls off as Finlay re-entered.

"Can you believe her? The minute her favourite returns she dismisses us like we're nothing," Sophie said, laughing when Lexa gave her a pointed look.

"Can you blame me?" Lexa asked, picking up Finlay and nuzzling his cheek. "My boy is just too cute!"

"Mama!" Finlay squealed when he was attacked by kisses.

"At least Piper loves me," Sophie called, laughing when the girl pulled her into the other room to kiss her privately.

"I love you, my boy," The brunette informed the little one in her arms, taking a moment to enjoy his comforting presence.

"Love you too, mama. I have a question."

"And what would that be?"

"Can I name the baby?" He asked, playing with his mama's hair.

"Well, the whole family has to vote, remember?"

"Yeah, but I got really good ones," Finlay said, earning a slight chuckle from Lexa.

"And what would they be?"

"For a girl I want her to be called Lucy. And for a boy I want him to be called Batman."

"Batman?" Lexa asked.

"Yeah. It's a cool name, mama. And we need more boys so maybe if the baby knows it'll have a cool name he'll be a boy," Finlay explained in his child-like manner.

"Can't argue that logic," The mother said, smiling when Clarke entered the room.

"I think batman is a very cool name, finny boy," The blonde said, earning a proud smile from their boy.

"Hear that baby," Finlay said, looking down to Clarke's stomach. "Mommies agree that Batman is cool, so you gotta be a boy."

"You're sweet," Clarke said, peppering the child's cheeks with kisses.

"Guys, Riley's here!" Jude called from the entrance, making both moms giggle.

"And so it begins," Lexa said, placing Finlay on his feet.

* * *

 **Time for Riley to meet the family.**

 **Quick name poll so I write the coming up chapters: Pick a boy name and a girl name**

 **Girl Names: Ava, Delilah, Florence, Isla, Lucy, Nemo, Quinn, Wesley**

 **Boy Names: Batman, Bodhi, Enzo, Eros, Jett, Levi, Reid, Ryder**

 **Like, Comment, Follow :)**


	39. Chapter 39 - Nemo

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 39  
Nemo**

"Riley, it's so nice to finally meet you," Clarke said happily as she approached the couple.

"It's nice to meet you too, Mrs. Woods," Riley said kindly, offering a gentle wave.

"Call me Clarke," The blonde said, waving the previous title dismissively.

"Rye, this is my mama – Lexa. Mama this is Riley – my girlfriend," Jude introduced the two, smiling proudly at the girl he held hands with.

"It's nice to meet you, Lexa."

"You too," Lexa said cheerily, pulling the boy from behind her back.

"Oh, that's Finlay. He's a bit shy," Jude said, gesturing to his only brother. As he spoke his sisters came to the entrance. Piper and Sophie were goofing off while Rowen and Willow each held a hand of Indie so she wouldn't tumble down the stairs. "And that's my twin Sophie. Her " _friend"_ Piper. My little sisters over there are Willow, Rowen, and Indie," Jude said, pointing to each person respectively.

"Wow. There's a bunch of you," Riley said, her eyes widening slightly.

"Did Jude not warn you?" Sophie asked.

"No, he did," Riley amended, laughing slightly. "It's just different when you hear a number and then see it in person."

"Well, we should warn you that their aunt, uncle, and baby cousin will be coming over as well," Lexa said.

"This is so cool," Riley admitted. "In my family it's just my parents and little sister."

"Same here," Piper said, lifting a hand. "But I have a cat."

"We have two dogs," Rowen said excitedly.

"And they will be staying in the yard until dinner is over," Lexa added, gesturing to the kitchen right after. "Why don't we head into the kitchen and start eating? Lincoln and Octavia can let themselves in anyways."

"Sure," Riley agreed, following everyone into the eating area.

"So Jude tells us you're a pretty good boxer," Clarke says as she takes Indie into her arms. The little girls and Finlay were all planning to eat in the living room so it didn't get stuffy in the kitchen, but Indie still needed to be watched every meal to avoid a choking accident.

"I guess," Riley said, blushing deeply at the compliment of her boxing skill.

"How long have you been doing it?" Lexa inquired, moving the food to the table.

"Umm... ten years maybe. My dad used to be a pro boxer and I really wanted to do what he did."

"That's cool," Sophie offered. "Does he still box?"

"No. He was a boxer in Africa. When I turned ten we moved here and he couldn't sign a new contract so he studied to become a teacher."

"That must've been a big change," Lexa commented as she helped her younger kids serve food.

"Well, I was from South Africa and there was a major European population so my mom decided to be an English teacher. I learned how to speak Zulu first but as I got older my mom taught me English. The accent is a little bit harder to shake, though."

"I think it's beautiful," Jude said, making the girl blush.

"So now both your parents are teachers?" Lexa asked.

"Yup. My mom's still teaching English and my dad is teaching African Studies. I still want to be a boxer though."

"How's Jude as a boxer?" Sophie asked, wiggling her eyebrows at Jude who scowled.

"He's awesome," Riley said, smiling excitedly. "Hasn't beat me in a round yet but he'll get there."

"Hey, I almost had you that one time last week," Jude argued back.

"Let's see what your uncle says about that," Lexa said, knowing that Lincoln is at the same gym as the two.

"Speak of the devil," Clarke said, laughing when the door opened all the way and Lincoln came in holding Wilde in the air. He chanted the opening of the Lion King as he held up his boy, earning more laughs.

"Lincoln, stop," Octavia said before they entered the kitchen. "Hi my lovies," Octavia greeted Finlay, Rowen, and Willow before they could slip away.

"Hi Aunt Tavia," Finlay said, falling behind his sisters slightly so he could give Lincoln a fist pump.

"Where are the dogs?" Lincoln asked as Clarke took Wilde and snuggled him.

"In the yard. This house is too busy for them to be inside," The blonde explained, cooing at the infant. "Look at your beautiful eyes."

"Thanks," Octavia snorted, knowing very well that her son's eyes now matched hers as they changed from the blue he was born with.

"Hush, my nephew is speaking to me," Clarke said, peppering kisses over Wilde's cheek.

"Mommy. No," Indie said from her place in the high chair, a pea falling from her mouth.

"Uh-oh, someone's jealous," Lexa jokes, placing a bowl of mashed potatoes in front of her youngest daughter.

"Indie, you have to share moms," Jude said to his little sister, earning a scowl.

"Jude. No," Indie said, hitting her high chair.

"I'm clearly her favourite sibling," The boy teased to his girlfriend.

"She's cute," Riley commented, looking to Sophie next. "So Jude says that you are learning to surf?"

"Courtesy of Piper, yes."

"She not too bad, considering she's only been doing this for like three months," Piper added, making her girlfriend blush.

"How'd you get into surfing?" Riley asked.

"I was stalking Pipe's crew when they were on the water and began to take some pictures of them. She saw me and said the only way I'd be allowed to take her picture is if I learned how to surf myself. And here we are."

"How about you guys? How'd this happen?" Piper asked, her fingers drawing absent shapes on Sophie's thigh.

"Lincoln paired Jude and I up to box and I beat him."

"I let you win," Jude said, making the girl smile.

"Seven times?" Lincoln asked, joining the conversation.

"She's a lot swifter than me," The boy said, defending himself.

"Anyone is swifter than you, my boy," Clarke said, making the teens laugh.

"He is clumsy," Sophie agreed.

"You're one to talk," Jude bit back.

"Guys, you're going to scare away our lovely guests," Lexa said, gesturing to Piper and Riley.

"And here I thought you'd be the one to do that first," Clarke jabbed, poking her wife's hip with a finger to make her squirm.

"Be nice," Lexa warned, pulling her wife close and placing a kiss on her temple.

~.~.~

By the time Clarke was eight and a half months pregnant she was put on bed-rest. The hospital had slowly reduced her hours so she wasn't on her feet for so long but now she was home 24/7 with no one but the dogs to keep her entertained. That was until her family returned home and spoke to her of their eventful days.

It was early on in December that Lexa and Clarke managed to get the little ones down for the night and readied themselves for a shower since Clarke began to struggle with the basic task due to her large bump.

"Alright, arms up beautiful," Lexa said, stepping from the shower after turning it on and approaching her wife. Clarke allowed her shirt and bra to be removed, her pants and underwear following soon after so she could match Lexa's state of nudity.

"I can't wait for this tiny human to arrive. I miss seeing my toes," The blonde whined, earning a chuckle from the brunette.

"I can see them, and they are still cute."

"Are you sure they're all there? Astrid was chewing on my pinky toe today and for all I know she stole it."

"Astrid didn't take away your toe. Now get in the shower."

"We still have no name, you know," Clarke reminded Lexa as the water doused their heads and warmed their once shivering forms.

"We didn't have a name for half the kids until after they were born," Lexa said, pressing kissed to Clarke's jaw.

"Yeah, but they were all too early anyways. This one is just on time and I want to make sure he or she know they have a name."

"You do know they won't remember being born, right?"

"Come on Lex, one boy name you like and one girl name you like."

"Okay fine. We still have to have the family vote, but I would put in Bodhi for a boy and Florence for a girl."

Clarke smiled at her wife for a moment, trying not to giggle as she spoke, "And you didn't want to think of names?"

"Oh hush, I do a lot of standing around at work. Plus, Bellamy keeps spitting out baby names like an idiot so I couldn't help but decide which ones I would like."

"Those are good names. I think tiny likes them too," Clarke laughed, moving Lexa's hands to feel where the baby was kicking.

"How about you? You wanted to talk about names so I'm sure you've got a few tucked up your sleeves."

"You know being bed ridden gives you so much time to just search names? For a boy I want Reid and a girl I was thinking Delilah."

"What does the human think?"

"Right here," Clarke whispered, dragging Lexa's hand to the lower area of her abdomen where the new kicks began. The brunette smiled and moved down onto her knees, facing the bump with pride etched onto her face.

"Hi baby, it's mama. I'm glad you like your mommy's and my taste in names. Only a few more weeks little bug, and then I get to hold you, and never let you go. I love you," Lexa pressed a delicate kiss beside Clarke's bellybutton and ran her hands over the surface once more before getting up and pressing her lips onto her wife's. "I love you too, beautiful."

"I love you more, Lex," Clarke whispered, smiling into their kiss. "Just to let you know, Indie wants to name the baby Nemo."

* * *

 **I named the baby, but I'm not telling you guys until you read about it later.**

 ***hint* First letter and last letters are O R but I'm not specifying which goes first.**

 **Also, how would you all feel if I made a temporary instagram account and put up pictures of what each character would look like? If this appeals to you let me know.**

 **Like, Comment, Follow :)**

 **-Valentina**


	40. Chapter 40 - Little Sun

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 40  
Little Sun**

2 weeks later…

"Lex. Lexa wake up," Clarke's urgent voice caused Lexa to jump up from the bed, her eyes wild with fear that her wife was hurt.

"What's wrong?"

"Ow. I don't know. It hurts so much," The blonde said, tears cascading down her cheeks as she pushed herself up against the headboard.

"Hey, shh shh shh. Take a breath," Lexa sat beside her wife, moving hair from Clarke's sweating forehead as she tried to help with the pain in the moment.

"Ow," Clarke sobbed out, gripping the sheets below her. Lexa instantly drew her into an embrace, her hands rubbing out Clarke's lower back where she'd been feeling pain before and was likely feeling pain again.

"I've got you. Shh, I'm here," Lexa whispered, holding her sobbing wife. "Breathe deeply, Clarke. Nice long breaths."

Lexa waited a minute, hoping the pain would pass through her pregnant wife. However, it seemed to have intensified, worrying the brunette who wanted nothing more than to take away the pain.

"Please, make it stop," Clarke whimpered, rocking slightly as she failed to rid herself of the backache.

"Okay, we need to get you to the hospital. Wait here while I get things together and let the twins know," Lexa moved to stand up but her wrist was caught, swiftly pulling her back.

"Wait, don't leave me," The blonde sobbed, her chest rising and falling quickly as she tried to breathe through the pain.

"This isn't going away. I need to get you to the hospital," Lexa stated with greater urgency, breathing out in relief as her wrist was released. She moved quickly to throw on a hoodie, grabbing one for Clarke as well while packing a bag with a blanket, change of clothes and their phones. "Let me go tell Soph and Jude what's happening. I'll call Octavia when we get to the hospital."

"Okay," Clarke agreed, having curled up in the fetal position with her face pressed into her wife's pillow.

"Okay," Lexa repeated, hurrying to the twins' doors. She woke up Sophie first, the girl groggily nodding to what she was being told before standing up and checking on her mom while Jude was being told the same urgent message.

Both twins helped the women leave the house, Lexa promising to text them updates before climbing into the drivers seat and pulling out of the driveway.

Halfway to the hospital Lexa stopped at a red light and jumped when Clarke sobbed heavily.

"I'm here, love," She soothed, reaching to the seat beside her and running a hand over Clarke's wet cheek.

"Lex, what if something's wrong with the baby?"

Lexa turned to look at the woman, locking her eyes with watery blue ones. "I won't let anything bad happen to you or our baby, okay?"

The blonde nodded her response before the light turned green and Lexa continued their drive to the hospital. Both women were trying to calm their racing hearts, but neither seemed to be able to with the fear that something was wrong with their baby.

~.~.~

"It's starting again," Clarke groaned, squeezing her eyes shut as she hunched forward in the waiting room chair.

"Okay, deep breaths," Lexa coached, moving from her seat to squat in front of her wife. She grabbed the clean cardboard bowl and readied it by her side, not feeling like relocating their place in the waiting room again since Clarke experienced a particularly grueling pain some minutes ago that caused her to throw up on the floor that is now surrounded by warning signs.

"Lexa, please help me," Clarke cried, leaning her head into the crook of Lexa's neck. The brunette sighed, knowing she couldn't do anything, and began her massage on the lower back of her wife, willing herself not to cry because she needed to be brave for her Clarke.

"Tell me what you need, baby. I'm right here."

The pain lasted for two minutes before easing away, allowing Clarke to sit up again and wipe her red cheeks.

"Stay here, I'm going to see how much longer you have to wait," Lexa rubbed the knee of Clarke and handed her the bowl just in case before moving back to the triage desk. "Excuse me, my wife is in a lot of pain and we've been waiting for over an hour to get seen by someone," Lexa said, trying to keep a level head since she knew the triage was not one to blame.

"It shouldn't be that much longer now. I could get her some Tylenol if you'd like," the woman offered, taking a glance at Clarke who had her eyes shut.

"She's already had some and it doesn't seem to be doing anything."

"Maybe some water?" She tried, pointing to the water tank behind herself.

"Sure. Water would be great," Lexa said, nodding her thanks when the plastic cup was handed over.

"I'll try to rush the doctor into getting her a room."

"Thank you," Lexa moved back to the blonde, noticing the way her knuckles turned white on the armrests of the chair, meaning a new pain was coming. "Here baby, I got you some water," The brunette said, once more crouching before her wife.

"Thanks Lex."

"Of course. Here, try taking a sip," Lexa placed the straw on Clarke's slightly chapped lips and allowed her two sips before pulling it back, not wanting her to puke more from drinking too much. "The lady said you should be brought in soon."

"That's good," Clarke tried to smile, but failed miserably as it turned into a grimace.

"Do you think it's these are labour pains?" Lexa asked, wiping at Clarke's slightly sweaty eyebrow with her sleeve.

"My water never broke, but these feel like the contractions I had before giving birth to the others."

"Are you sure it never broke?"

"Positive," Clarke breathed out, suddenly moving her hand to grip Lexa's as the pain got bad again. "Ow."

~.~.~

"So Clarke, it looks like you're in labour."

"What?" Lexa asked in utter shock as she helped Clarke sit up after the examination.

"That's what I'm supposed to say," Clarke tried to joke.

"This baby is being born in the caul, which means he or she is still in the amniotic sack. Now, you still have a centimeter to go, so chances are your water may not break, which is fine. In fact, it makes pushing a little easier."

"Wait, but I'm not drugged up," Clarke exclaimed, turning Lexa's blue fingertips pink again as the pain eased off.

"And you aren't going to be at any point," Dr. Brentwood said, trying to offer a sympathetic smile. "I'm going to gather my team and we're going to prep you to push, but I want you to try to relax. Lexa keep doing those massages, it's going to help the baby drop that last centimeter."

Dr. Brentwood left the women alone, allowing Clarke to cry when she felt another contraction start.

"Lexa, I can't do this without an epidural. It's going to hurt too much." The blonde cried, allowing herself to get engulfed in a hug.

"Hey, you are doing so well already. You are almost done and you've only been awake for three hours of this labour. The long grueling hours aren't something you have to face. I'll be right here with you the whole time, and we'll meet baby number seven real soon. Okay? Don't say you can't do it, I know you can. You're the strongest woman I know."

Clarke took a moment to squeeze the last of her tears from her eyes before she opened them and nodded, putting on a brave face for the last of her labour.

Dr. Brentwood returned to the room and smiled at the women, ushering his team in so they could get ready for the baby.

Lexa took Clarke's left, one hand holding her wife's while the others, caressed the crown of her head.

"I'm right here," She promised again, pressing their foreheads together as they shared a moment of silent hoping before Clarke was asked to push.

"Good work, Clarke. You're doing wonderfully," Dr. Brentwood commended, allowing the mother a break before asking her to go again.

They took this at Clarke's pace, allowing her to push and release whenever she felt like it.

True to the doctor's word, the sack helped slide the baby out a tad bit smoother, placing less urgency on birthing the infant.

"The baby is crowning. I see a lot of hair," Dr. Brentwood said, making both women smile.

"Just like all of our babies," Lexa whispered fondly, pressing a kiss to Clarke's temple.

"Okay Clarke, I want one big push so baby can slide right out. Think you could do that for me?"

Clarke nodded tiredly and prepared herself for the final push, taking a deep breath before giving it all her might.

With a final release the baby was out, making both mothers release laughs past their cries. The sack was removed and the baby's face was wiped clean before Dr. Brentwood held it up to show both mothers.

"A boy," Lexa sobbed out, smiling wildly as the little one was placed on Clarke's chest.

"Hi baby," Clarke cooed, wiping her tears quickly as the infant squawked out each cry. "He's so beautiful."

"Just like his mom," Lexa commented, making the blonde release another laugh past her cry.

"Would you like to cut the cord?" A nurse asked, offering the scissors to Lexa. The brunette nodded eagerly and snipped the place between both clamps, handing back the instrument and placing a kiss to the baby's head before he was whisked away for cleaning.

"You have to text the kids. They're going to want to know," Clarke said, trying to speak to her wife who began to fuss over her.

"I will. They're probably still asleep, but I'll make sure Octavia and Linc bring them by around nine," Lexa said, using a wet cloth to clean Clarke's tear stained cheeks and sweaty forehead. "Do you want to change your gown?" The woman offered.

"Maybe when I'm trying to feed him. That way I don't have to undo the strings twice."

"How about some water?"

"That'd be nice," Clarke said, accepting the cup of cool water, which helped her relax even more from the slight contractions she was feeling from the afterbirth.

"Shoot," Lexa said, pulling the cup back from Clarke.

"What?" The blonde asked, making a face when her water was taken.

"We never chose a name."

"Oh come on. Not again," Clarke sighed, laying her head back as she tried to recall the names the kids wanted. Before they could discuss further one of the nurses approached with the freshly swaddled baby who's light hair was peeking below his baby hat and wide eyes were glancing around.

"Congrats. He's absolutely gorgeous."

"Thank you," Lexa beamed, looking to the arms of her wife where the little one rested. "Welcome to the world, little sun."

"You're going to do great things," Clarke whispered, her finger running over the pink cheek of the infant.

* * *

 **Welcome the new baby! YAY! I made the instagram account. It's "griffinwoodsfamily" on instagram and it has a whole list of the characters. If you want more descriptions (i.e. likes/dislikes) or other characters to be shown then please leave a comment.**

 **Like, Comment, Follow :)**

 **Valentina**


	41. Chapter 41 - Family Of Nine

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 41  
Family Of Nine**

"He's so small," Sophie whispered, her arms cradling her new brother as she beamed down at the infant.

"Was I small?" Finlay asked Clarke as he sat next to her on the hospital bed.

"All babies are small, but you were our biggest baby," Clarke explained, brushing some of his hair from his face, making a mental note to cut it once she was able to move around properly.

"The twins and Will are tied for smallest," Lexa added, bumping hips with Jude who laughed, knowing very well he is the biggest kid in the family now.

"How much does he weigh?" Rowen asked, playing with the little finger poking out past the baby blanket.

"Six pounds even," Clarke answered.

"Can I hold him?" Jude asked, trying to get his sister to hand over the new member of the family.

"Few more minutes," Sophie whispered, still in awe by the baby.

"Not only are you a bathroom hog, but now you're a baby hog," Jude said, crossing his arms.

"Oink!" Finlay said, making everyone laugh.

"Mama, look," Indie demanded to Lexa again, pointing to her brother.

"I'm looking, babe. That's your baby brother," The brunette explained, shifting Indie's weight onto her other hip so the toddler could get a better look.

"So, name?" Octavia asked, catching Clarke's look that told her to shut up.

"Not yet," The blonde said out loud, having a silent conversation with her sister in law.

"You're so weird," Octavia demanded, giving up on trying to understand how the baby was still without a name.

"Okay Soph, share your brother," Lexa finally said, watching carefully as the little one was handed between the twins.

"Hey kid, when you learn to keep your balance I'm going to teach you how to give a good right hook."

"Jude, no," Clarke said.

"Aww, come on mom. He needs to learn. It's how to be badass."

"Wow, he's not even five hours old and he's heard his first curse word," Lexa sighed, laughing lightly before putting Indie onto the bed next to Clarke and moving to grab her newest child. "Let's give Will a turn."

"No thank you," Willow said, making her presence known from the couch in the room.

"Come on sweetie. You won't drop him," Lexa tried to ease, moving towards her daughter.

"I said no, mama," Willow demanded, making the room tense up slightly.

"Can I hold him?" Rowen asked, breaking the silence with her bubbly persona.

"Sure," Lexa said, pulling a smile once more as she moved to the petit blonde. "Do you want to sit on the bed with mom?"

"Okay," Rowan sat at the foot of the bed, her legs crisscrossed as she waited for the baby.

"Remember he can't hold her own head, so you have to do it for him," Lexa explained to her nine-year-old, easing the infant into the arms of Rowen.

"I remember. Hi baby. You're very cute," Rowen said, speaking proudly to the baby. "Mama, why does he have such light hair?"

"We don't know, sweetie," Lexa said, giving a shrug.

"It makes him special, don't you think?" Clarke offered, glancing at her children.

"He certainly has the lightest hair in the family now," Sophie agreed.

"Can I have a turn?" Finlay asked, growing impatient.

"Sure, Fin," Rowen agreed, looking to Lexa for help. The mother smiled and transferred the baby, once more making sure he was supported with assistance from Clarke who was holding Finlay under her arm.

"He kinda looks funny," Finlay said blatantly once he got a good look of him.

"Oh boy," Lincoln laughed, shaking his head.

"Buddy, you can't say that," Jude said, laughing as well.

"Why not? He's got a funny face," Finlay stated once more, making more people crack up.

"Yeah!" Indie agreed, having looked over to her mom's other side to see the baby. "Funny baby."

"I believe our little one won't be going to either of you for a confidence boost one day," Lexa said.

"Don't worry, he has four other siblings to look to," Clarke said, smiling to her wife who happily returned it.

~.~.~

"Okay, can we know his name now please?" Rowen asked, growing restless about not knowing. The family has spent a good portion of the day at the hospital watching movies and holding the new baby, but now it was nearing five o'clock, and Lexa wanted to get everyone home so she could feed them and get them ready for bed before returning to her wife and child.

"What fun would it be if we held back the name from you all and then just spat it out?" Lexa asked, making the little blonde groan.

"We've been calling him 'baby' all day mom," Jude began to complain to Clarke. "He's going to be convinced that's his name."

"Should we tell them?" Clarke asked Lexa,

"Do you think it's ready?"

"Why don't you check with the nurse?" Clarke suggested, nodding for her wife to go check on the gift.

Lexa kissed her wife and left the room, heading over to the nurses station where she left the surprise.

"Hey Lexa, are you here for the lion?" Kim asked, being the woman to have saved the day with her cross-stitching skills.

"Yeah, the kids are going crazy with not knowing," Lexa said, laughing as she leaned against the desk.

"This is a great idea," Kim said, handing over the soft brown lion with a dark mane.

"Clarke and I really wanted to have a name to put on it, but the little one came early and so we didn't have time to finish it. But you saved us."

"Oh no way. It was a simple stitch," Kim dismissed, showing the feet of the lion with all the kids names on one side and Clarke and Lexa's on the other.

"Wow, it matches all the other names designs," Lexa commented, running her finger over the new name.

"Again, simple stitch. Go give it to your kids, I'm sure they'll love it."

"Thanks again, Kim," Lexa took the bear and tucked it behind her back before returning to the room.

"Do you have it?" Clarke asked as soon as Lexa entered. The brunette nodded and smiled brightly. "Alright guys, so you know how we gave you each a toy when you were born?"

"Yeah, I keep mine on my desk," Sophie said as everyone nodded as well. The twins had received teddy bears when they were born, one black one for Sophie and one white one for Jude. Willow has a yellow duck that she hid under her pillow because she didn't want to seem like a baby. Rowen received an otter, the little sea animal sitting in the center of her bed all the time. Finlay got a husky, and Indie got her bunny, the beloved toy being her best friend. Now with baby number seven the mothers decided to purchase the adorable lion and get all the names added, playing a role in the name reveal.

"Mom and I got your new brother a lion and we want one of you to read what's on his feet," Lexa explained, presenting the toy.

"Ohh, how about Aunt Tavia and Unle Linc write it on the board," Rowen suggested, getting excited.

"Great idea, baby," Clarke praised, nodding to Lexa to give the toy over.

"Oh now that is cute," Octavia stated as she read the name, showing it to Lincoln.

"Great name," The man agreed, handing Wilde over to Jude and moving over the white board. "Alright, Woods clan," Lincoln scrawled the last name and underlined it. "We've got your moms."

Clarke

Lexa

"And the twins."

Jude

Sophie

"The sweet middle girls."

Willow

Rowen

"Little One and Little Two."

Finlay

Indie

"And finally, the newest addition."

Romeo

~.~.~

"Well, everything looks good. Baby's vitals have been strong for the past two days, and Clarke you are perfectly healthy. I'm going to fetch the discharge papers and get you three out of here," The doctor said, smiling at both Clarke and Lexa before slipping out of the room.

"Home. Sounds nice," Clarke hummed, sleepily resting her head on Lexa's shoulder as her wife cradled Romeo. They were now discovering their son's rather persistent reluctance to sleep at night, and the poor blonde didn't have any bottles of breast milk to rely on so she was up each time in case feeding was needed. Lexa felt bad that the past two nights have been short for her wife, so she made sure to get the blonde to pump at home and leave her with enough food for the baby so she could get up and feed instead of Clarke.

"Why don't you hold our little sun while I set up your bags?" Lexa suggested, handing over the baby and getting up from the bed.

"Hi sweet boy," Clarke whispered. Lexa smiled at the voice. It was tender, and smooth, with so much comfort she felt safe herself.

"I wonder how he's going to handle the shift from the quiet hospital room to our rowdy home," Lexa thought out loud, folding a blanket.

"Please take it well," Clarke begged the baby.

~.~.~

"Wow, he took that pretty well," Lexa laughed, running her fingers through her hair as she and Clarke looked down at the baby in the crib.

"Even the dogs barking. I was so sure he would cry," The blonde said.

"Looks like we've go ourselves a peculiar button," Lexa said, cooing to Romeo.

~.~.~

"Are you sure he's okay?" Jude asked for the billionth time as the family sat around the table for dinner. Lexa had gotten the baby down to sleep and left him in the crib, bringing the baby monitor with her placing it at the center of the table incase he woke up. Jude however, was worried about his brother getting lonely upstairs.

"He is fine, honey," Clarke said, rubbing his back as she took a seat and sighed in relief. She was still tired and sore, making any moment of sitting down a blissful break.

"What was that?" Jude asked, pointing to the monitor that released a steady noise.

"He's snoring, love," Lexa explained, laughing despite herself. "Jude, you have five other siblings, four of which you were probably old enough to remember being around. How does this freak you out so much?"

"Because it is a little human with big blue eyes and emotions that he can't express and that freaks me out," The boy ranted, making his parents laugh.

"If you ever have kids I expect a ton of worried phone calls," Clarke said.

"Shh, shh, shh. Do you hear that?" Jude demanded.

"Okay, maybe he's waking up," Lexa relented, hearing the tiny squawking noises herself.

"I can get him," Sophie offered, wanting to get more baby time herself.

"Maybe Will can get him," Clarke offered, motioning to the girl who was still decked out in her track gear.

"I haven't showered yet. I'll get him sick," Willow tried to excuse herself, motioning to the slightly dirt coated top.

"How did you get so dirty?" Clarke questioned, raising an eyebrow. Being a runner she'd expect Willow to stay a bit cleaner, but today she was particularly filthy.

"I played with the hurdles again," Willow said, hiding her lie. She actually rolled around the track intentionally and delayed her leaving by a few minutes so then she didn't have time to shower before dinner, and therefore couldn't hold the baby.

"Okay, then," Lexa said suspiciously as well, looking back to Sophie who was waiting for permission to gather her brother. "Go ahead, Soph. But if he looks like he'll go back to sleep leave him."

"Okay," Sophie agreed, running up the steps.

"No running!" Clarke called after the girl.

"Please, like they'll ever learn," Lexa said, laughing at her kids who gave looks of disagreement.

* * *

 **Well, there it is. The baby's name. I hope you are all enjoying the instagram by the way. I'll be posting a new picture of the baby tonight.**

 **Comment, Like, Follow :)**

 **Valentina**


	42. Chapter 42 - Crazy Morning

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 42  
Crazy Morning**

1 week later….

"Look at you big boy. You are gorgeous, you know that?" Clarke spoke to Romeo, walking towards the entrance of the house where Lexa had left the mail before hurrying to work that morning. The brunette insisted on staying with her wife and son for at least a month, but Clarke didn't want her to abandon Bellamy so she shooed her off with the compromise that she'd leave work in time to get the kids every day.

Clarke picked up the large pile of envelopes, trying to readjust them in her hands so they wouldn't slip out. The phone rang before she could get a good grip, spooking the woman slightly, which sent the envelopes all over the place.

"Mama and I need to get a better grip on organizing the junk mail," Clarke said to her son, sighing before hurrying to grab the phone in the living room.

"Hello, Clarke speaking," She said once she got it to her ear, taking a seat on the single and gently shifting Romeo to lay over her chest so she could rub his back.

"Hi, Clarke. It's Dr. Reynolds, your wife left me message last night."

"Oh right. Hi Dr. Reynolds, thanks for getting back to us."

"No problem. So what seems to be the problem?"

"Well, I'm sure Willow mentioned that we just had a new baby."

"She did, congratulations," Dr. Reynolds said.

"Thank you. Lexa and I are kind of worried, though. About Willow. It's been almost a week and a half and she refuses to carry Romeo, or even address him for that matter. I understand there must be a patient confidentiality, even though she's our daughter, but Lexa and I are afraid she resents him."

"Willow and I did had a good talk about that and I think this may be easier to discuss with either you or Lexa after her session tomorrow, but I can tell you that she doesn't resent Romeo."

"Really?" Clarke asked, sighing slightly in relief. She and Lexa had been worried that Willow disliked Romeo even though she was originally okay with the idea of a new baby.

"Like I said, either of you or both of you are welcomed to sit with Willow and myself tomorrow after her session. If it helps you and Lexa understand better, Willow is afraid of Romeo and how fragile he is."

"Thank you so much, Dr. Reynolds. That really takes a load off. I'm sure Lexa or I can pop by tomorrow."

"Of course. It would be good for Willow to speak to you ladies."

"Thanks again."

"No problem. Have a good day, Clarke."

"You too, Dr. Reynolds," Clarke hung up and put the phone down on the arm rest, glancing down at Romeo once more to find him dozing off. She chuckled and sat up, moving to carry the baby to the bassinet in the living room. "No wonder you don't sleep at night."

Clarke settled Romeo, and placed a kiss on his forehead and his pacifier in his mouth before moving back to gather the mail. As she went to pick up the scattered pieces the phone rang again, sending the envelopes behind the entrance table.

"Crap," She sighed, running over the grab the phone before it woke up Romeo.

"Hello?" She asked into the receiver, having forgotten to look at the caller ID.

"Hello, this is Dr. Endelstein. I'm the Pediatric Neurologist. Is Clarke or Lexa Woods there?"

"This is Clarke."

"Wonderful, how are you today?"

"I'm good, yourself?"

"Very good. I'm just calling about your daughter, Indie."

"Oh yes, you must be the referral," Clarke said, now understanding where this call was from. She knelt down by the entrance table and began to move it, picking up slips of lost mail, which fell behind it today and long ago.

"I am. Nyko contacted my receptionist a few months back and I finally got my hands on Indie's file. This is quite the case."

"Yeah, Indie is a special toddler," Clarke said, furrowing her eyebrows when she spotted a sticky note.

"No doubt about that. I was hoping to set up an appointment to see her next week."

"That soon?" Clarke asked, stopping her attempt to grab the note.

"I really want to help Indie, and I think we should begin doing that before she gets older," Dr. Endelstein explained.

"Okay. When are you available to see her?" The blonde asked, getting up from the floor and grabbing a pen from one of the table drawers.

"How about next Wednesday at 9am? Ark Hospital Neuro Wing."

"Perfect. That should work just fine. Thanks for the call, Dr. Endelstein."

"Of course. I look forward to seeing you both then. Have a good day."

"You too," Clarke hung up and sighed, feeling busy after having done nothing.

Taking a moment her mind reeled back to the note behind the table, sending her back to the floor where she promptly pulled the green slip out and froze at the numbers scrawled on the tiny note.

This was certainly turning out to be a crazy morning.

~.~.~

"So what's holding you back?" Lexa asked as she folded a drool towel from the pile of laundry in the center of her's and Clarke's bed.

"It's just weird. Like, how could I just disappear for so many years and then pop back up out of the blue?" Clarke challenged, repositioning Romeo who was feeding.

"You didn't disappear, babe. You were chased off. You left them with the means of contacting you, but I wouldn't be surprised if Abby had any part in preventing them from using it."

"It just feels wrong," Clarke sighed, chewing her lip.

"Do you think Abby left the note and it fell behind the table?"

"She has to be the only one. I mean I didn't have any of my siblings numbers, and I had no track on them."

"It wasn't that long ago. I'm sure you could still reach all of them."

"What if they hate me?"

Lexa froze her folding, noticing the watering eyes of her wife and feeling the waves of pain rolling off of her. She instantly moved forward, helping unlatch Romeo and fix Clarke's top before moving the baby to the crib in their room with a pacifier as a momentary distraction.

"Don't cry, love," Lexa whispered, engulfing Clarke in a hug and moving them towards the center of the bed. "Shh. Take a breath."

"I left them Lex. My dad died and I abandoned them once I got my life put together. My brother wasn't even 11 and I left him."

"He had the others. You were scared and hurt, Clarke. Abby wasn't giving you a safe family environment, so we took matters into our own hands and separated you from them. They can't hate you for that."

Clarke was silent for a moment, sniffling as her mind worked through its thoughts.

"Talk to me, Clarke," Lexa whispered, moving blonde hair behind her wife's ears.

"I know I wouldn't be here if I hadn't walked away that day. And I love my life, don't get me wrong. But I miss them. They're-"

"Your family," Lexa said, offering a gentle smile. "I know, love. It's okay to miss them. It's healthy. You can't go through life pretending they never existed."

"So I should call them?" Clarke asked, wiping her cheeks.

"Try calling your brother. Like you said, he was 11. I think he deserves the most explanation."

"Okay," Clarke agreed, sitting up from her embrace with her wife.

Lexa placed a careful kiss onto her lips, smiling between the precious moment before moving to gather the laundry.

"I'm going to make sure the kids start to settle down for bed. Give him a call," the brunette checked on Romeo one last time before moving towards the other rooms, shutting the door behind her.

Clarke sighed, running over her conversation with Lexa before reaching for her phone and the green note beside it. She looked at the last name and put in the number, putting the phone up to her ear and listening to it hum.

She began to feel her heart race in anticipation, her lip being chewed as a habit before the other end muffled with sound.

"Hello?" A male voice asked, the sound making Clarke suck in a breath. His voice was so much deeper than it was when he was a boy.

"Aden…?" Clarke felt tears fall from her blue eyes. "It's me. Clarke."

* * *

 **Clarke's family is coming back? What do you all think?**

 **Comment, Like, Follow :)**

 **Valentina**


	43. Chapter 43 - Loved & Supported

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 43  
Loved & Supported**

"Clarke?" The voice shuddered back, tears now evident in the man's speech.

"Yeah, bud. It's me," Clarke cried, pulling her legs up as she rested her chin on her knees. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too. How are you? What's going on in your life?" Aden asked, now sounding frantic for a conversation with his sister.

"I'm good. I'm great actually. I've got a beautiful family and- you should see it Aden. I made myself something good."

"That's amazing, Clarke. I'm glad you're doing well. Did you finish getting your doctorate?"

"I did. I'm an ER doctor. But what about you? What did you end up doing?"

"I went to law school. I'm a civil rights attorney."

"That's amazing," Clarke commended, laughing past her tears. "What made you want to do that? I thought you wanted to become a writer.

"I did, but after what mom did to you it stuck with me. I wanted to defend people from discrimination," Aden explained. "So law turned out to be my calling."

"You've always been amazing. You know that?"

"No way," Aden laughed, the sound almost sending Clarke into another fit of tears. "Have you spoken to any of the others?"

"No, I wanted to talk to you first," Clarke said.

"Are you planning on calling them?"

"I'm worried they're mad at me for bailing."

"You didn't bail, Clarke," Aden said. "They miss you. We always get our families together and it feels empty because you aren't there. Twenty years later and your place is still empty."

"You all have families?" Clarke smiled, not realizing that her siblings had husbands and wives and children of their own.

"Yeah. Caleb has a 17-year-old son and 14-year-old daughter, Oliver and Paulie. He and his wife got divorced two years ago but they've been on good terms since," Aden said, speaking of their older brother who's two years older than Clarke.

"What about Sadie?" The blonde asked about her sister. Sadie's a year older than herself.

"Sadie and her husband have three kids, two girls who are 12, Iris and Lily, and one boy, Tanner, who's 15."

"That's amazing," Clarke said in awe, closing her eyes as she tried to imagine her beautiful siblings and their kids.

"Ontari never really settled down with anyone but she has a 5 year old daughter. Her name's Millie."

"Does she have Ontari's dark hair?"

"Right to the root," Aden laughed.

"She always hated her hair colour," Clarke remembered.

"She hated being different," Aden reminded.

"Well when all your siblings have blonde hair and you have dark brown-"

"It made her so angry," The man laughed.

The two shared a moment of laughter before Clarke spoke again.

"What about you, Aden?"

"I married a gorgeous woman and we have a four-year-old boy, Knox, and a two-year-old boy, Jax."

"I want to meet them," Clarke said.

"Oh, you have to meet all of your nieces and nephews. They're all so beautiful."

"I can imagine."

"Did you end up marrying that girl that was with you when you told mom?" Aden asked.

"Lexa. Yeah, she's been my incredible wife for almost nineteen years."

"I don't remember much of the arguing," Aden admitted. "But I do remember you crying, and mom saying a really nasty comment before Lexa spoke up for you. She seemed good for you."

"She is," Clarke said, looking to the picture of her wife on her nightstand. "She's my everything."

"Any kids?" Aden asked.

"Seven."

"Years old?"

"No," Clarke laughed. "I have seven kids."

"Holy shit," Aden said, earning more laughs.

"Lexa and I have 17 year old twins, Sophie and Jude. A 13 year old, Willow. 9 year old girl, named Rowen. 5 year old, Finlay. 3 year old, Indie. And we just had a boy last week. His name's Romeo."

"That's amazing, but really Clarke, seven? You know I suck at remembering names," Aden said, groaning on the other end.

"You should meet them. Why don't I give everyone else a call and we can first meet to catch up and then we can bring our families together."

"I'd like that," Aden said.

"Okay, I'm going to call Sadie. I love you, Aden."

"I love you too, Clarke. And hey, don't disappear again. We all really love you and support you."

"Thanks, Aden."

"Of course, sis."

~.~.~

"Willow, you know you haven't said more than five words since coming in today," Dr. Reynolds mentioned as she crossed her legs and watched the girl fiddle her fingers.

"Sorry," Willow said softly, clearing her throat.

"No need to apologize. I just want you to know that I am here to listen. If there is something on your mind then you can share it with me."

"It's nothing really."

"What have I told you about your thoughts? They mean something," Dr. Reynolds reminded, noting the way Willow avoided eye contact for a brief moment.

"I had a panic attack yesterday," Willow admitted finally, moving her blue eyes to meet the therapists.

"Okay. Tell me what happened," Dr. Reynolds said gently, knowing she got the girl at her most vulnerable.

"Mama dropped me off at practice and I was going to walk towards my team but I felt like I couldn't breathe. Before anyone saw me I ran towards the bleachers and hid under them," Willow choked on her voice slightly. "I was scared, and I couldn't move and I just wanted my moms but I couldn't get to my phone and it was really bad."

"That must've been frightening," Dr. Reynolds agreed. "How long did it last?"

"Fourty-five minutes," Willow admitted.

"So what did you do after calming down?"

"I went to practice. I told Raven I was stuck at school for longer than expected."

"Willow, you know that's dangerous, right?" Dr. Reynolds lightly warned. "Why didn't you call your moms after?"

"Because I didn't want them to worry," Willow croaked, tears falling down her cheeks. She was still on an emotional high since she never truly went through her relaxation after her panic attacks.

"They're your moms. It's their job to worry."

"But they have to worry about Romeo, and yesterday mama and mom were talking on the phone on the way from school to track about Indie having an appointment with a neurologist and mama didn't seem happy after it. They are too busy right now."

"Willow," Dr. Reynolds said carefully, hearing the pick up in the girl's breathing.

"I can't let them worry anymore. They've been worried for more than a year about me and I just keep getting bad again. Nothing is making me better," The small girl ranted.

"Let's take a breath."

"I don't even know why I'm having panic attacks. It's like I'm fine one minute and the next I'm suffocating. It's too much, I don't like it," Willow sobbed out, her hands starting to shake.

"Honey, you need to calm down," Dr. Reynolds reminded, moving aside her notepad and moving in front of the girl.

"I can't. I can't. I don't want this anymore. I want it to go away."

"Try taking a deep breath."

"I want my mom. Please get my mom," Willow sobbed, knowing Clarke was sitting right outside.

"Okay, I'm going to get your mom," Dr. Reynolds got up quickly and moved towards the shut door, opening it slightly and smiling at the faces that turned to see her. "Clarke, Willow wants you," She beckoned the blonde. Clarke jumped up and hurried in to see the mess that was her kid.

"Oh, ladybug," Clarke said in pain as she watched the girl sob on the couch and rock lightly.

"Mommy, make it stop. I don't want this anymore," Willow said, crying harder as she couldn't get her own emotions under control.

"Shh, I'm going to help. Let's take a minute," Clarke said, carefully directing her daughter onto the floor where she instantly placed one hand over Willow's front and other onto her back to give her a feeling of grounding. "I'm here baby. Shh, Nice deep breaths," Clarke urged, watching her daughter close her eyes and concentrate on the ragged, broken breaths she took.

Despite their best efforts, ten minutes passed and Willow seemed to grow worse, her choking sounds growing louder as Clarke sensed this would lead to her daughter throwing up. The blonde pointed to the trashcan and Dr. Reynolds instantly grabbed it, setting it up beside the mother and daughter. Two minutes later Willow threw herself by the can and began to throw up, her mom pulling back her hair while Dr. Reynolds busied herself with gathering one benzodiazepine, the medication for Willow's panic attack, and a cup of water.

"Here, try taking this," The therapist suggested once Willow's bout of sickness passed and she was sitting up with the help of her mom.

"Thank you," Clarke said, smiling up to the woman briefly before asking Willow to open her mouth. She managed to get Willow to take the pill after a few failed attempts of her throat feeling too tight and the water dribbling out of her mouth in fear.

"You'll be okay in a few minutes," Clarke promised, waiting the usual ten minutes for the medication to work.

Finally, the girl seemed to muster the ability to speak, but she still sounded broken.

"Mommy, make it stop," Willow begged again, her words now quiet as she found herself coming back down.

"It's almost done, sweet girl," Clarke responded.

"No," Willow croaked out. "Stop m-my panic-c attacks-s," Willow sobbed out tiredly. "I don't want them."

"Oh, baby. I know you don't want them," Clarke said, moving her hand up to cup the back of Willow's neck to urge her forward to rest between her legs. Clarke held the girl close to her chest and began to brush the hair away from Willow's forehead.

"I want to go home," Willow whispered.

"Maybe we should talk to Dr. Reynolds for a moment. After that we can go home and talk to mama alright?"

Willow nodded in agreement before being assisted to stand by her mom and therapist and carefully sat on the couch once again.

"Was the panic attack worse today or yesterday, Willow?" Dr. Reynolds asked, noticing how Clarke was shocked by the news.

"Today," The brunette said, taking the offered tissue to wipe her cheeks.

"You had a panic attack yesterday?" Clarke asked, brushing hair from Willow's hot forehead.

"After mama dropped me off I panicked and hid under the stands."

"Did you wait there until pick up time?"

"After it stopped I went to run."

"Willow. That's not safe. Your body isn't made to endure that after such a hard moment."

"I'm sorry, mom," Willow said sniffling.

"I just don't want you to get hurt, baby. I love you too much to let that happen."

"I love you too."

"Willow, I want to let you go home and rest, but I have some things to talk about with you first," Dr. Reynolds said, earning a nod. "First, your panic attacks are coming too close in between so I want to try a daily medication again."

"No anti-depressants," Clarke reminded, remembering Willow's dislike for them almost a year ago.

"No, I want to try duloxetine. Once a day oral medication to help suppress anxiety symptoms and make these panic attacks easier to overcome. We could try natural remedies but Lexa informed me a while back that those only work after the attacks so I think it's best we take this route."

"I agree. Willow, would you be okay to try this medication?"

"Will it make it stop?"

"I hope so," Dr. Reynolds sympathized. "Here is a prescription, Clarke. Now, second thing I wanted to discuss is what brought us here. Before you panicked you explained that you didn't want your moms to worry. Do you want to tell your mom more about that?"

"Sure," Willow said, glancing up at Clarke for a moment before down casting her gaze again.

"Talk to me, babe. I'm listening."

"I was going to call you yesterday, but I didn't you and mama to worry."

"It's our job to worry, sweetheart."

"But you have Romeo to worry about. And you and mama were talking on the phone about Indie's big doctor appointment. I just thought I could take care of myself," Willow explained.

"Oh, Will. Honey, listen to me. Mama and I are supposed to worry about you. Just because we have the younger ones does not mean we don't have enough time to care about how you're doing. If you have a panic attack, we won't care about anything else except getting you home or back to a safe place. What you did yesterday was dangerous and it makes me sad knowing that you didn't feel okay about calling home-"

"I don't want you to be sad," Willow cut in instantly, her eyes watering.

"And I don't want you to be alone," Clarke responded, using her thumbs to brush the wet cheeks. "Let's make a deal. If you come to mama and I and tell us what's going on in that head of yours, we will stop being sad."

"Promise?" Willow asked.

"I pinky-promise," Clarke held up a pinky, smiling at the small giggle her daughter released before she hooked her pinky on.

"Okay Willow, before you and your mom head out I want you to tell us about your feelings about Romeo," Dr. Reynolds instructed, wanting to send the two off quickly due to Willow's dropping eyes.

"He's cute. And small. And I don't want to break him. I'm broken and it's not fun so I don't want to do the same to him."

"Willow," Clarke sighed, pulling her girl back into her embrace. "You are not broken. Maybe a little messy, but certainly not broken. And Romeo is a lot tougher than you think. He needs his sister though. He needs you to hold him and love him because you are so very good at loving people. He deserves knowing someone as amazing as you."

"I'm not ready to hold him yet," Willow admitted, tugging at the end of her hair slightly.

"One day at a time then."

Willow nodded sleepily, rubbing her eye with a heavy hand.

"I can see that the medication is taking its effect. I'm going to let you ladies go. Call if you need anything," Dr. Reynolds said, rising and allowing the pair to get up as well.

"Thank you for speaking with us, Dr. Reynolds," Clarke said, wrapping an arm around Willow's shoulder.

"Of course. See you on Thursday, Will."

"Thanks Dr. Reynolds," Willow waved, leaning into Clarke. She felt safe under her mom's arm. She felt somewhat normal.

* * *

 **CLARKE'S SIBLINGS**

Caleb 45 years old

Sadie 44 years old

Clarke 42 years old

Ontari 32 years old

Aden 29 years old

 **GUYS I DID SOMETHING IN CHAPTER 46 AND IT'S REAL AND SCARY AND I SORT OF HATE MYSELF FOR DOING IT!**

 **Like, Comment, Follow :) (I put a smiley face as a way to apologize for my shitty decision making).**

 **-Valentina**


	44. Chapter 44 - Family At The Door

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to the 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 44  
Family At The Door**

"Mama," Indie said, walking towards the couch were Lexa sat with Romeo rested in her arms.

"Hi, Indie Bindie," Lexa smiled to her daughter, reaching down to pull the little girl up next to her.

"Meo still sleeping," Indie stated, pointing to her brother.

"He needs a lot of sleep to grow nice and big," The brunette explained, beaming when the tiny blonde stroked back Romeo's platinum hair. It amazed Clarke and Lexa how gentle Indie was with the new baby.

"I sleep too?" Indie asked, pointing at herself.

"If you're sleepy. But try to stay awake so you can go to bed tonight," Lexa said, tucking some wild hair behind the girl's ear.

"I gon-find Phie," The toddler responded, laying on her stomach and sliding off the couch edge so she could go hunting for her oldest sister.

"Okay, careful on the stairs please," Lexa warned, standing up herself as she followed Indie towards the stairs and waited for her to get safely to the top.

Once the small girl disappeared the mother moved towards the kitchen, falling short when the door opened and she turned to see her beautiful wife and daughter. Willow was pale as a sheet, sending off warning signals in her head almost immediately.

"Hi, my loves. Is everything alright?" She asked, approaching the pair. Willow's eyes darkened slightly and then tears were falling quickly, making the mother panic slightly. "Oh, sweetheart," Lexa handed Romeo to Clarke who cradled his head while she witnessed her wife and daughter embrace tightly.

"Tell me what's wrong," The brunette instructed, moving back hair that was similar to her own.

"Why don't we move upstairs and have a talk with mama?" Clarke suggested, running her fingers over Willow's back.

"Good idea," Lexa said, weakly smiling to her wife before twisting in her daugther's hold and moving the two of them upstairs.

Clarke followed and detoured towards Sophie's room, knocking on the slightly open door before pushing it all the way to see her daughter and Piper sitting on the bed with Indie speaking happily.

"Hi girls, sorry to interrupt," She said, earning a snicker from Sophie.

"Please, Indie already did that," Sophie responded, tickling Indie's stomach. Piper blushed at the comment, making Clarke catch on to the meaning almost immediately.

"I see," The blonde said, cocking an eyebrow. "Well, that is even more reason for me to leave the little dude with you. Mama and I need to have a talk with Will. Can you watch him?" She asked, nodding down to the baby she held.

"Of course," Piper said, bouncing in excitement.

"You love my brother more than me. Really, Pipes?" Sophie asked, faking shock as the infant was placed in her girlfriend's arms.

"He's too cute not to love. Hi, sweetheart. Oh my god, you are a button!" She cooed, stroking his smooth hair.

"Thanks ladies," Clarke waved before leaving the room, hurrying to speak with her wife and daughter. Indie followed behind her, wanting to play with Finlay now.

Sophie laughed once her mom left, falling back onto her pillows and reaching up to stroke her girlfriend's back.

"Come cuddle," She said, drawing random shapes over the defined shoulder blades.

"I'm holding too much happiness in my arms right now," Piper responded, her tone airy as she got lost in the baby's blue eyes.

"Lay him on your chest. He likes that. Jude took a nap on the couch with him like that yesterday and he didn't make a peep for hours," Sophie said, opening an arm for Piper.

"You hold him. He needs to bond with his sister," Piper said.

"No, come on Pipes. I wanted to hold you, not Romeo," Sophie said, groaning when Romeo was sprawled over her chest.

"Aww, what a good big sister," Piper cooed, pressing a kiss to Sophie's lips.

"Well, if you think it's nap time, then you have to be next to me," Sophie said, opening an arm once again, smiling when Piper hunkered down next to her.

"I want this for us one day," Piper admitted after a minute, her fingers drawing out the small nose of Romeo.

Sophie smiled and felt her cheeks warm up at the thought, her hand around Piper shifting so she could lie face to face with her girlfriend.

"I want this too," She whispered, pressing a kiss to the pink lips of her love.

~.~.~

The following day Clarke sent everyone off to school and work, making Willow promise to call her if she felt too tired or sick to get through the day. Even though today was the day she was having her siblings over Clarke was worried for her daughter, especially after the stressful two days she's had. The blonde made sure to let Willow know it was okay to stay home that day, but the girl refused, stating that she wasn't in the mode to meet new people.

So Clarke was home alone with Romeo, the dogs hanging out back in the morning sun so they could run off some energy and come in through the cracked door whenever they pleased. The blonde had paced for a while, anticipating the two hours between her family's departure and the arrival of her siblings.

After what felt like an eternity, the doorbell rang making Clarke freeze with both panic and excitement. Tears welled in her eyes, her feet moving her quickly to the door, and before she knew it she was in her brothers' embrace. Both Aden and Caleb wrapped her in their arms, tears and watery laughs being shared.

"Well, if it isn't my baby sister," Caleb said, taking a step back to look at the blonde. "You're grown up," he said in shock.

"And you have white hair," Clarke chuckled, shagging his blonde and white hairs.

"Smart-mouth," Caleb teased. "Why are you picking on me? Look at this kid. His voice hadn't even dropped when you left and now listen to him," Caleb patted his brother on his back.

"You were just a boy, and now look at you," Clarke said, reaching up to brush her little brother's hair.

"Gorgeous, I know," Aden said, cocking an eyebrow.

"You have been corrupted by Caleb. You poor thing," Clarke joked, pulling Aden back into a hug.

"Holy shit, you're real," Aden said, choking on his tears slightly.

"Yeah bud, I'm real," Clarke promised, allowing herself to be held by her little brother.

"Got room for one more?" Clarke pulled back from the embrace and wiped her eyes only to have them fill with more tears at the sight of her older sister.

"Sadie," She whispered, moving down the porch steps and hugging the woman frantically.

"Hey, Clarke Bear. How's it going?" Sadie asked, stroking Clarke's lighter hair much like she used to when they were younger.

"I've missed you," Clarke said, sniffling as she squeezed Sadie a bit closer.

"Missed you too, sis."

"Hey, Clarke. I think someone's missing you more," Caleb said, pointing inside the house where Romeo cried.

"Come inside. There's a little human I want you to meet," Clarke said, taking Sadie's hand and leading her family into the house. She took them to the living room and motioned for them to take a seat while she took the crying baby from the bassinet. "Hi, Meo. Hi, love. Come meet your uncles and aunt," She whispered, holding him to her neck and rocking him briefly before walking over to Sadie.

"Oh my goodness, Clarke. He's gorgeous," Sadie said when the little one was placed in her arms. Romeo had calmed down once he was safe in someone's arms, his little nose sniveling.

"I miss when my babies were babies," Caleb said, brushing a large hand over Romeo's head.

"Clarke has to meet the kids, though. Seriously, Oliver looks exactly like Caleb," Sadie explained, allowing Clarke to imagine the oldest of her nephews.

"We should get the families together. I want to meet your kids. They look like a great bunch," Aden commented, holding a family picture that was on the side table.

"They're amazing," Clarke agreed, smiling proudly before the doorbell went again. "That's Ontari," Caleb said, making Clarke freeze.

"Go get the door, Clarke Bear," Sadie said, using the comforting nickname.

"She's not mad," Aden promised, noticing the hesitation in his sister.

"Okay," Clarke fixed her hair and moved to the door, opening it right before Ontari had time to ring the bell again.

"Clarke," Ontari said, a smile coming to her lips.

"Hi," The blonde replied, her heart swelling as she took in the sight of her now adult sister that was fourteen the last time she saw her. A movement near the legs of Ontari caught Clarke's attention, allowing her to cast a gaze down at the small girl.

"I hope it's okay I brought her. She had a headache this morning and-"

"Don't worry, Ri. She's fine," Clarke promised, crouching down and smiling at the five-year-old. "You must be Millie."

"Yeah," the small brunette said, nodding her head as she clutched her mom's pant leg unsurely.

"I'm Clarke," The blonde went on to introduce. "Do you like dogs, Millie?"

Millie glanced up at Ontari, the woman nodding with a smile to encourage her.

"Yeah."

"Well, I have two very nice dogs. Do you want to meet them?"

"Can I mama?" Millie asked Ontari, bouncing lightly.

"Sure you can," Ontari said, happy as well.

"Come on in," Clarke motioned them through the door and brought them into the living room to see the others first.

"Look mama, it's our family!" Millie declared, pointing to the couches.

"Yeah, Mil. Clarke is our sister, so she's your aunt."

Millie smiled shyly at Clarke when she was informed of this, moving closer to Ontari slightly before she caught sight of what her Aunt Sadie held.

"Sadie, is that your baby?" Millia inquired, moving towards the infant and smiling at him in awe.

"No, Mill. This is Clarke's baby. His name's Romeo."

"Wow," The five-year-old said, looking to Clarke next. "Can I touch him?"

"You sure can. He really likes it when you stroke his hair," The blonde explained, moving towards the child and taking her little hand, helping her rub the platinum hair of the baby.

"Soft," Millie whispered, making everyone laugh lightly.

"Do you remember when Jax was born, Mills?" Aden asked, speaking of his two-year-old son.

"Not really," Millie replied, still in awe with Romeo.

"Is Jax bigger now?" Ontari questioned, encouraging her daughter to have a conversation.

"He's chubby. Clarke, will Romeo be chubby?" Millie asked, looking to the woman crouched beside her.

"Depends on how much food he eats. He already eats a lot," Clarke said, earning giggles.

"Can I see the doggies now?"

"Sure, let's go out back," Clarke offered her hand and began to walk to the back door with Ontari and Aden following. "Zorro, Astrid, come here," Both dogs came into alert at the sound of their owner and hurriedly approached, instantly kissing Clarke's hand and Millie's cheeks.

"Mama, they're silly," Clarke laughed at Millie's exasperation and glanced back at Ontari who was smiling loving at the child.

~.~.~

At around 2:30 Clarke's siblings began to head out, having to go get their kids from school and head home for homework. Ontari was the last of everyone to head out, choosing to stick around a bit longer since Millie was having fun with the dogs and Clarke's family wasn't due back for another hour or so.

The blonde sat with Romeo who was wide awake and drinking from a bottle that Millie held with the help of her aunt. Ontari sat opposite of her sister and chewed on her upper lip indecisively. Clarke remembered that tick from when they were younger.

"What's going on in your head?" Clarke asked, much like she does with Willow.

"I was fourteen when you left," Ontari said, making her sister nod. "Mom was rabid and freaking out. She sort of said some stuff about the rest of us never being allowed to be like you."

"Ontari," Clarke sighed, knowing where this was headed.

"I…umm… I tried to push it away. You know the feelings? I slept with a lot of guys and surprisingly managed to avoid getting pregnant until I was 27. But I never settled. And I could never do what you did because I didn't have stability. I'm a bartender, Clarke. Not a doctor."

"Oh man," Clarke sighed, glancing at the children beside her. "Hey, Mill. Do you want to play with some legos?" The little one nodded and handed over the bottle so Clarke could move the baby into the bassinet and her niece into the dining room with a box full of lego.

She returned promptly and sat closer to her sister, offering a comforting hand.

"Talk to me, Mill. The whole story."

"I sort of had an idea that I was gay when I was ten. It was early, so I was scared but I managed to ignore it for a while. And then you brought your girlfriend over and mom lost it. It scared me out of ever wanting to be with girls so I tried to force myself to be straight," Ontari laughed bitterly. "It didn't work. I kind of down spiraled from there. I had panic attacks, I was depressed, I had sex all the time. I felt disgusting. My grades dropped, I didn't get into any colleges so I had to find a job straight out of high school. Mom didn't give a shit about my well being so when I got pregnant she sort of looked the other way. Millie is my pride and joy but life is so hard Clarke and here you are with everything shiny and perfect. A wife. Kids. This amazing house."

"You're mad at me," Clarke said knowingly.

"Of course I am! You got to go and be happy while I got stuck with the shit end of things."

"Ontari, my life isn't perfect. Yes, I settled down and have a beautiful wife and children, but I had to work for this. I had to face mom and present her my girlfriend, only to be rejected. I was forced away from my family."

"You left me," Ontari said, tears falling down her cheeks.

"I didn't. Mom-"

"Lost her cool but it didn't mean you couldn't come back for me!" Ontari argued, cutting off Clarke.

"Come here," Clarke instantly pulled her sister into an embrace.

"Stop, Clarke. I don't need you."

"But you do," the blonde whispered into the ear beside her. Ontari went limp in the hold, sobbing heavily as she allowed herself to be held.

"I missed you so much," Ontari sobbed out, starting to cling to Clarke.

"I missed you too. I'm not leaving you again. I promise."

* * *

 **Family Reunion Coming Soon!**

 **Valentina**


	45. Chapter 45 - Big Kid Problems

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 45  
Big Kid Problems**

Lexa and Clarke were cleaning the dishes, speaking of their days as one washed the serving dishes and the other dried them.

"Do you want bath duty tonight or should I do it?" Lexa asked as she turned off the sink and turned to look at her wife.

"Mama," A voice interrupted them, causing both mother's to look at the kitchen opening to see Rowen standing there unsurely.

"What is it, sweet girl?" Lexa asked, glancing at Clarke who motioned upstairs as a sign that she was on bath duty by the looks of it.

"I had a bit of an accident," The blonde began nervously, untucking her hand from behind her back to show the razor she held.

Lexa glanced down and saw the trickle of blood rolling down Rowen's shin, proving to the woman that she had nicked herself during her first attempt at shaving.

"Let's get you cleaned up," Lexa said, offering a comforting smile as she took the razor and placed an arm around the young girl's shoulder.

Upstairs Lexa directed them to the master bathroom where Rowen was promptly placed on the sink edge while her mama searched for the first-aid kit.

"Is this the first time you tried shaving?" the brunette inquired, having a pretty good idea that she was right but wanting to give her girl a way to talk.

"Yeah," The blonde responded sheepishly, eyeing the disinfectant wipe Lexa had tore open. "All the girls on my team do it, and they said it could make me go faster if I did too."

"I see," Lexa nodded, blowing on the cut as she wiped it. "You know, you didn't have to try shaving if you weren't ready."

"I want to go faster too. I thought it was easy. I went online and everything," Rowen said, grabbing the bag of Band-Aids and shifting through it to pick a design.

"Why didn't you come to mom or me? Or maybe your sisters."

"It's embarrassing," Rowen said, blushing slightly as she handed down a Band-Aid with a Mickey and Minnie kissing. Lexa smiled at the choice and began to unwrap it.

"But we could've helped you, and made sure you had everything you needed."

"I did have everything I needed," The blonde said.

"Is that Sophie's razor?" Lexa asked, earning a nod. "And did you know where to find the shaving cream?"

"I didn't know I had to use that," Rowen admitted. "I just used water."

"That's probably why you got a cut. Sometimes the razor gets stuck on dry skin so it ends up cutting it."

"Mama, can you teach me how to shave properly?" The young girl asked, fidgeting slightly.

"Of course, peanut. Come here," Lexa moved the first-aid aside and opened the shower door, turning the water up while she bent down and rolled up her sweat pant leg. "Now, you're going to want to have your very own razor to start with. It's cleaner that way. This is my razor," Lexa pointed to her green one. "And this is mom's," She said, pointing to the blue one next to it.

"I thought you shared everything," Rowen said, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Almost everything," Lexa said, laughing lightly before reaching for her razor. "Now, this is the shaving cream. This is what you can share with your sisters in the other bathroom. All you have to do is wet your leg," Lexa lifted her uncovered shin and soaked it under the shower a moment before propping it against the shower door. "Apply some cream, about the size of a quarter," The brunette added the shaving cream over her leg, glancing at Rowen who was eagerly keeping track of the actions. "And then you shave moving the razor upwards," Lexa soaked the razor and started at her ankle, pulling the razor up towards her knee and repeating the action until the cream was all gone.

"That doesn't look hard," Rowen said as Lexa toweled the extra cream off her leg. "And you aren't bleeding."

"Yup, it's a piece of cake. You just have to get the hang of it," Lexa reassured, moving to shut off the water.

"Wait, can you do my legs?" Rowen inquired, feeling confident but not enough so to finish her own hack job.

"Sure, why don't you sit on the toilet seat?" Lexa took a small bucket from under the sink and filled it with water before placing it under her daughter's feet as she sat on the toilet. She quickly gathered a new razor for her kid and set it up before crouching before the nine-year-old.

"Is that mine?" Rowen asked, pointing to the yellow razor.

"Yup. Just remember to keep it clean and high up so the little kids don't get their hands on it."

"Okay," Rowen agreed, giggling when her mama doused her legs in water and then put on the shaving cream. "I look like a snowman."

"A very pretty snowman," Lexa said, earning another laugh. "Now don't squirm too much. We don't need another Band-Aid on these little legs."

Lexa got to work and took her time as to avoid sliding the razor suddenly and maiming her little girl.

Clarke came to find the two as Lexa got to work on the second leg, her eyebrow raising in question.

"What's going on in here?"

"Our little peanut tried to shave and had a little accident. I'm helping her," Lexa said, making her wife smile and nod.

"You're growing up, Row," The blonde said, feeling herself get a little sad at the reality.

"How are the little ones?" Lexa inquired, rinsing the blade in the water before continuing.

"I just bathed Indie and I have to get Romeo's hair clean so I came to get the baby shampoo."

"And Fin?"

"He's showering as we speak. I'm going to clean the baby in the sink while he showers so I can keep an eye on him."

"Okay. We're almost done here," Lexa said, giving her wife a wink before she left.

"Did you have to teach Sophie and Willow how to do this?" Rowen asked as the wet towel ran over her now smooth legs.

"Sure did. Sophie was thirteen and Willow was ten."

"Do boys do it too?"

"No, boys don't usually shave their legs, but that doesn't mean they can't. It's all up to the person. Boy or girl, you can choose to shave your legs if you want."

"Is it bad that I did it cause my friends did it?"

"You should never give in to peer pressure, but the good news about what we just did is that hair grows back. Even if you feel bad for losing it, it will grow back," Lexa said, squeezing Rowen's knee gently.

"It feels soft. I think I like it," Rowen said, touching her hairless shin.

"Well then, that's all that matters," Lexa smiled, standing up and gathering the things to clear in the shower.

"Thanks mama," Rowen quickly hugged her mama and pressed a kiss to her cheek before running from the room to show off her legs. "Willow! Will look what mama did!"

Lexa chuckled lightly, rinsing the bucket and tossing the towel in the hamper before placing everything away and leaving the master bathroom.

"Well, you have made our Rowen a very happy girl," Clarke commented, walking into the room with Finlay latched onto her back and Romeo cradled in her arms.

"Look at my boys!" Lexa beamed, offering to take one off her wife. Romeo was instantly in her hold, the baby staring at her with wide eyes.

"Mama, mommy said we can watch movies tomorrow since we have no more school."

"No more school?" Lexa questioned, furrowing her eyebrows.

"I believe we have both forgotten that school ends on Thursday for our little love bugs," Clarke said, laughing at the situation.

"Oh my god, we never got the teachers gifts for the holidays!" The brunette said, suddenly worrying.

"No mama, we made special cards," Finlay eased.

"How are our kids better at adulating than we are?" Clarke asked her wife, readjusting the five year old on her back.

"Hey, we just had a baby. The fact that we are able to keep up with all of them on other things is enough," Lexa responded, adjusting Romeo so he'd lie on her chest allowing her access to kiss his precious head.

"How was it with Row?" Clarke asked, moving over to the washroom where she grabbed a brush to do Finlay's hair.

"Good. She thought she could do it on her own but sometimes moms are needed to help with the grown up stuff."

"Do you think she's starting that phase of independence?" The blonde asked, seating Finlay on the bed and working through his light hair.

"Oh dear god, I hope not."

"Moms! I have to go, I have to go!" Sophie came barreling into the room, tears pouring from her eyes, as her hands shook with her phone clutched in her hand.

"Sophie, woah. Baby, calm down. Take a breath," Lexa said, holding Romeo in one arm while she used the other to hold her daughter's shoulder.

"No I have to go. You don't understand!"

"Talk to us, love," Clarke said, worrying herself as she abandoned Finlay's hair momentarily.

"Piper-!" Sophie sobbed out, choking on her words.

"What, honey? Is she okay? What happened?" Lexa questioned.

"She's going to kill herself. Mama please, I have to go!"

Both moms froze momentarily, trying to grasp what their daughter said before Clarke finally acted on it.

"Lexa, go. Drive her. I'll watch the kids," She quickly took Romeo from Lexa's arms and nudged her wife out of the room, sending the brunette into action as she rushed down the stairs with her daughter.

"Mama, we have to hurry," Sophie cried, shaking harder when they got out the door and into the car.

"We're going honey, we're going. Did you call 911?"

"I'm calling," Sophie said, sniveling as her phone hummed. Lexa's heart broke for her daughter, a comforting hand reaching over the center console so she could squeeze her knee. Lexa heard the muffled noise of the dispatcher asking for the emergency.

"My girlfriend said she's going to kill herself. Her name is Piper and she lives on 18935 Evening Breeze Cir Huntington Beach."

Lexa felt her stomach sink at those words. They were too real for her seventeen-year-old daughter to face.

"I don't know how she is going to do it, she just said she was. I was on the phone with her and she started getting groggy and then she wouldn't answer me. I think it was an overdose."

"We're almost there, baby."

"My mom and I are heading over to her house. She's a cop."

"She's going to be fine," Lexa assured, trying to swallow her tears, as Sophie seemed to come around to the reality again.

"Okay. I can do that. Thank you," Sophie hung up and looked to Lexa, tears rolling from her eyes and hitting her lap.

"Mama, why would she do this?"

"I don't know baby, but let's focus on keeping her safe right now. Okay? One step at a time," The brunette said, taking the hand of her daughter.

"I didn't notice. How could've I been so oblivious to everything?"

The question hung in the air, Sophie trying to answer her own question while Lexa recalled those many years ago when Octavia found her unconscious on the bathroom floor with pools of blood around each wrist. Her poor sister went through the same questioning pain as her daughter was going through right now. It was almost like it came back full-circle.

* * *

 **The next chapter will contain a lot more conversation surrounding the issue of suicide. I intend to make it as authentic and true to the real struggle many face to the best of my ability. With Willow's anxiety I am able to take away from my own experiences to make it as real as possible, however, I've never dealt with suicide thoughts, so creating Piper's character is going to be a tad more difficult. If anyone has any information that can help me that would be great.**

 **If you are struggling / or ever have struggled with suicidal thoughts I know this may be a futile attempt but I want you to know that you are loved, you are beautiful, and you are so very important.**

 **Another thing I want to cover is Willow's storyline. In no way do I intend to make her "better" because she never will be truly "better." She will have days where she feels 100% and nothing makes her worry, but she will also have days where she goes back to her intense panic for no reason except for that fact that it's almost like an instinct. She is a very important character to myself and hopefully others because I think I made her a true example of what it feels like to panic and worry even when everyone tells you it's okay.**

 **Comment, like, follow :)**

 **-Valentina**


	46. Chapter 46 - You're Not Your Past

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.** **DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

 ***CHAPTER INCLUDES ATTEMPTED SUICIDE, CUTTING, OVERDOSE, AND OTHER TRIGGERS. READ WITH CAUTION!***

 **PLEASE FEEL FREE TO MESSAGE ME FOR A CHAPTER SUMMARY IF YOU'D RATHER NOT READ THIS CHAPTER!**

* * *

 **Chapter 46  
You're Not Your Past**

Lexa hurried for the door of the house, thankfully finding it unlocked.

"Sophie, don't follow me. I don't want you to see this," The mother instructed, trying to protect her daughter.

"Piper! Pipes" The teen called, ignoring her mama's request and following her up the stairs and towards the teen's bathroom. Lexa found Piper on the floor by the sink, her arms rested over her thighs as blood pooled over her lap and onto the floor. She was hoping for anything but cutting. Her own memories were rushing back, making this even more painful.

"Crap, Piper," Lexa cursed, falling to her knees and cradling the girl into her side.

"Pipes," Sophie said, stepping back in fear and covering her mouth as she tried to subdue her nervous stomach from releasing its contents.

"Hey, sweetie. Work with me here," Lexa pleaded, reaching up and pressing her fingers into Piper's pulse point. Her heartbeat was there but it was slow. "Okay Sophie, get me a lot of towels."

While the teen got to work, Lexa began to ease Piper towards the bathtub where she could get her propped up against it better.

"Is her heart beating?" Sophie asked, handing over half the towels she had. She instantly took to her girlfriend's other side, not minding the blood that smeared on her arms and clothes.

"She has a pulse. That's good. If we slow the bleeding long enough for the paramedics to get here then she should be fine," Lexa said, pulling the towel tightly around Piper's left wrist, sighing when it soaked through almost immediately.

"Piper. Baby, I'm here. Please wake up," Sophie cried as she pressed a towel down on the right wound strongly.

"Go find some belts, or thin pieces of cloth that we can tie around the towels," Lexa said, noticing how poorly the towels were holding.

"I'll be right back," Sophie promised her unconscious girlfriend, rising from the floor and running out of the room.

"Come on Piper, you can't give up," Lexa said, trying to convey the message to the girl even though she probably couldn't hear her.

"I found these," Sophie said, dropping the broken ankle straps from Piper's old boards that she always meant to toss out but never got around to doing.

"Okay, good. Tie them really tight. As tight as you can," Lexa instructed, beginning to pull more towels and straps around the arm.

"M-m-m-ow," Piper began to stir, her head falling forward slightly as she slowly came around.

"Piper!" Sophie said in shock, moving her blood-covered hands up to cup her girlfriend's pale face.

"I'm-m- s-sor-ry," The blonde slurred out, coughing as her throat tightened before vomit landed over her blood-covered lap.

"Piper, did you take something?" Lexa asked, grabbing the face of the girl and glaring her eyes into the teen's to show the importance of being honest.

"U-u-m," Piper responded incoherently, leaning forward once more to throw up.

"Sophie check all the medicine cabinets to find any empty pill bottles," Lexa instructed, easing Piper to lean her head back against the tub. "Piper, sweetheart. You need to stay awake for a while. I can't let you fall asleep," Lexa explained, holding the towel wrapped arms up as a way to slow the blood flow.

"I-'m-s-sorr-y," Piper said again, her hazel eyes locking onto Lexa's green ones. Almost instantly Lexa could see the regret in her eyes. "L-o-vve- So-ophie."

"She loves you too," The mother said, her voice clogging with tears as she took in her surroundings. Here she sat on a Wednesday evening with her daughter's girlfriend slowly dying, her hands covered in blood. It felt too close to home.

"Mama, the paramedics are here," Sophie said, watching from the doorway of the washroom as she blue suited medics surrounded the bleeding girl.

"Did you find the bottle?" Lexa asked her daughter, her hands still holding the arms of Piper.

"Yeah, she took these," Sophie said, handing over the bottle to one of the paramedics who didn't fit in the mess of people.

"Restoril. Does she usually take sleeping pills?" The woman asked, reading the date to better know how much the teen consumed.

"No. Her mom does, though."

"And where is she?"

"I don't know," Sophie said, chewing her lip. Lexa turned her head and caught the look on her daughter's face.

"Soph, you have to be 100% honest. What's happening?"

"We're ready to move her," One of the medics said, gaining the attention of the woman who now held the pill bottle.

"Follow us please, we have some questions," She said to Sophie who nodded pitifully. Lexa moved away from Piper, allowing her to be taken out before she approached her daughter.

"100% honest," She said, bending her head forward slightly to catch the watering blue eyes.

"Can I tell you in the car?" Lexa nodded her agreement and wrapped Sophie under her arm, hurrying them out the door so they could follow the paramedics.

As Lexa pulled from the curb Sophie began to speak, her fingers fidgeting as she tried to wipe away the blood only to have it smear on other fingers.

"Her mom left about a month ago."

"And her dad?" Lexa questioned, trying to keep her attention on the road as best as possible.

"He was deployed to Afghanistan for two years about six months ago. Piper was pretty bummed but her and her mom were used to it so they were doing okay after he left. But then her mom started staying at work later and sometimes she wouldn't come home at all."

"When did that start?"

"Maybe a two months ago. Piper started feeling lonely so that's why I went to her place a lot. To keep her company. She kept telling me she was fine but I could see she wasn't. She was hurting but she didn't want to be so she tried to push it away."

Lexa couldn't help but cringe at those words. They were similar to the ones Clarke used to preach to her when they were younger and hitting rough patches in their relationship.

"Why do you think she'd do this then?" Lexa prompted, wanting to be sure the story made sense for the medics and psych ward.

"When her mom stopped answering her messages two weeks ago Piper became depressed. The only way she knew her mom was alive was when she'd get a deposit of $200 every week."

The mother sighed. She knew very well Piper tried to kill herself because the first people that ever loved her have just abandoned her.

"Mama could I have stopped this?" Sophie asked, a tear hitting her bloody hands, causing it to streak over her thumb.

"No baby. No matter how hard we try, sometimes we are unable to take away the hurt from other people."

~.~.~

"Mommy, why can't you stay?" Willow asked as she followed Clarke downstairs around ten pm. The blonde had received a call from Lexa that Piper was still in surgery but Sophie was becoming more and more of a broken down mess. They had been gone less than two hours now, but Clarke knew her eldest daughter needed her.

"Piper's hurt, Will. Sophie and her need mama and I right now."

"But what if Romeo gets hungry?" The girl asked, pulling at Clarke's hand so she couldn't go through the door.

"There are prepared bottles in the fridge. Just have Jude boil a pot of water and place it in it for five minutes. If it isn't too hot on your wrist you can give it to him. Jude knows how to do all of this, Will. I promise you'll be fine until morning. Just go to bed."

A prompt kiss was placed on the child's forehead before the mother slipped away leaving the house with her six other children, all of which were fast asleep minus Jude and Willow.

Now standing alone at the entrance of the house, Willow glanced around and sighed deeply before moving towards the living room. She always struggled sleeping when someone wasn't home for an indefinite amount of time. Having her moms and older sister gone for who knows how long really wasn't helping her situation.

In order to calm her racing mind, Willow curled up on the recliner and took the house phone on her lap, not turning on the TV in fear that she'd watch something that unsettles her more.

She recalls the time she asked Dr. Reynolds why it's so easy for her to sit still some days and nearly impossible others. The therapist seemed to identify that her worry made her frantic and nervous, which caused her to move around and adjust random things to keep her hands busy. Her anxiety on the other hand made her freeze, almost like a deer in headlights. She gets worked up to the point of shutting down, which is why she could sit in one place for close to four hours with little to no need to change position or scenery.

Today she broke her record for longest undisturbed sitting, finally snapping from her stupor of suppressed anxiety by a light wailing and the red glow of the cable box time that read 4:28am. She had been sitting there for well over five hours.

The wailing grew louder, and Willow instantly knew where it came from. Her anxiety swapped for her worry, making her move quickly and shakily up the stairs and towards her moms room where Romeo was crying in his crib.

"Shh," she begged, peering over the edge of the white frame. "It's okay. Moms will be home soon. Go back to sleep."

Romeo cried a little harder, making the brunette flinch. How could everyone else sleep through this? She didn't want to be the one to have to make Romeo feel better.

Her moms were already worried about Sophie and they certainly didn't need to add on their fear that she would be taking care of their new baby. What if she broke him, or transferred her nervous behavior onto him.

Willow knew that wasn't possible but the anxious part of her mind told her otherwise.

"Romeo, stop, you're okay," she said, taking a little comfort bear from the end of the bed and wiggling it over his head in hopes of getting a reaction. Nothing.

"Okay, calm down," she looked around the darkened room in hopes of finding something to give the infant. She came up with nothing once again.

And then it hit her. The knowledge that Romeo got fed every three hours and that his next feeding would occur around 7:30-8:30, which means he was hungry now.

She didn't want to pick up, but his cries were loud and they were making her thoughts hurt so in a swift move she slipped two hands under him and lifted him into her arms, holding him close and breathing out in relief when his cries subsided.

She actually did it. She made him feel better.

Willow never knew she was capable of making others feel better. Usually, she was the one that needed the comfort but today she was giving it away. Today she was helping.

"I've got you," the petite brunette promised, smiling when she caught scent of the baby smell her mom wouldn't stop talking about and the soft tickle of blonde hair on her cheek that her mama was obsessed with. There was something so real about this moment that Willow felt neither fidgety nor still. She felt perfect.

~.~.~

"Soph, do you want to come home? Maybe take a shower? She won't be up for the rest of the day, love," Lexa said, leaning into Clarke's embrace as they sat opposite of Sophie beside Piper's bed. Her wrists were wrapped and there was a tube down her throat to help her breathe. She looked broken but alive none the less.

"No," Sophie whispered, tugging at the puka shell bracelet her girlfriend gave her. The two shared the matching white shell accessory. It was their thing.

"Honey, you need to rest. You can't help someone when you aren't 100% yourself," Clarke reminded, feeling a tear hit her neck. She squeezed Lexa a bit harder, knowing very well that this was becoming far too overwhelming for her. Even if Sophie didn't want to leave, Clarke knew she had to get her wife out of there.

"Please let me stay," Sophie pleaded, looking up to meet her moms eyes.

Pain was all Lexa could see, her tears falling harder.

"Okay. I'm going to take your mama home and I promise to come back in two hours. Call if you need anything," Clarke got up and continued to hold Lexa to her side as they both hugged Sophie tightly and placed kisses on her forehead.

The drive home mainly consisted of Lexa sobbing and Clarke doing everything in her ability to soothe her as she paid attention to the road in front of her. Everything seemed so broken right now, and impossibly real.

"You're not your past," Clarke whispered as she pulled onto a side road and put the car in park.

"I did that to Octavia. I made you scared I would do it again. I hurt everyone," Lexa sobbed, looking at her heavily scarred wrists.

"You're _not_ your past," Clarke said again, laying her hands over the scars. "These are the signs that you survived. The skin has healed just like you. You can't beat yourself up for things you did in the past. I won't let you."

"I can't remember Octavia's face when she found me on the bathroom floor because I'd lost too much blood already but I remember when I tried it again years later and you found me. I cut deep but not deep enough and you came into the washroom not knowing what I'd done. You broke down and I… I saw all the hurt you felt."

"I was hurt because your heart was in pain. It's the same for Sophie. There is no regret or anger. It's sadness that we couldn't take away the pain enough for the person we love to want to live. Piper is in a dark place right now and she needs people, just like you did."

"I'm so sorry, Clarke."

"No," the blonde whispered, caressing the cheeks of her wife. "Never apologize for what you felt, are feeling, or will feel. You are not these scars anymore. You are you, and I will always love you."

This earned a chuckle and nod from Lexa, making Clarke laugh herself before pulled the woman close and placed a kiss on her temple.

"I love you so much," Lexa whispered, clinging to the awkward embrace due to the center console blocking their hug.

"I love you too, Lex. Let's go home and see our babies."

~.~.~

"It's quiet. Romeo should be up by now," Clarke said as they ventured upstairs. It was almost 8, which explained why everyone was asleep, but Romeo was never one to sleep in.

"Why don't you check on him while I see the little ones," Lexa suggested, releasing her wife's hand at the top of the stairs and moving to one end of the hallway.

Clarke ventured into her room and took in the silence before her eyes caught what was on the bed. Tears welled in her eyes as she held the doorframe and took in the sight.

"Clarke, Willow's gone!" Lexa said frantically, running to her wife who instantly shushed her.

"She's fine. Look."

"She's holding him," Lexa whispered in awe, looking at Willow who laid on the center of the bed with Romeo sprawled over her chest, little hands clinging to the pajama top of his older sister.

"She is," Clarke replied, leaning into the pleasant touch of Lexa's hand on her neck.

"I want a picture of this," the brunette stepped into the room, pulling out her phone and opening the camera app and snapping different angles of Willow and Romeo.

The newborn began to whimper slightly, stirring from his sleep. Willow seemed to also wake at his movement, lifting her hand to lay over his back, which instantly calmed him. Somehow the sight made the mothers forget about the bad parts of theirday,instead making their hearts swell with the peace of their children.

* * *

 **So this was a very heavy chapter. As you all know I try my best to be as authentic and honest with what a situation might be like in real life. I've never experienced suicidal thoughts, nor have I been around someone who is suffering with them, so this is all research and thought based. If I have offended anyone or you'd like to give me some pointers for the future chapters please do not hesitate to message me.**

 **In other words, Willow has finally found a connection with Romeo but this does not make her better (anxiety is not something that can be "fixed" easily or in an instant). In fact, we are about to see more of her struggle in later chapters, especially since she will be transitioning from middle school to high school.**

 **Comment, Like, Follow :)**

 **-Valentina**


	47. Chapter 47 - Your Kids, My Kids

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to The 100 creators.**

* * *

 **Chapter 47  
Your Kids, My Kids**

Sophie clutched the small hand of her girlfriend a little tighter and sighed as she bit her lip.

"Piper, I could've helped you," she whispered out, tears falling from her deep blue eyes. "I could've protected you. Shown you that there was something more to live for. We were surfing two days ago. You were happy. Weren't you happy?"

Silence. The machine pushing air down the girl's throat hummed again, and Sophie released a shuddery breath with it.

"Was I not enough for you, Pipes? Did everything hurt too much?"

If there was something Sophie couldn't swallow about this situation, it was the fact that her girlfriend was hurting and she had failed to see it. She was blind to her pain and that made her heart ache.

"Look at me. I'm a mess," she whispered out, wiping at her eyes quickly before gathering the hand in her own again. "I always cry around you but you've never cried to me. You've always been so brave. I'll be brave for us this time. It's your turn to break, babe. I'm here."

Silence. The machine pushing air down the girl's throat hummed again, and this time Sophie sucked in a breath, swallowing her emotions with it.

She doesn't deserve to feel when her girlfriend has felt too much without her knowledge.

~.~.~

"Tell me a story about her," Lexa said, leaning back in the hospital chair and watching her daughter with careful eyes. She had swapped with Clarke after lunch and sent her wife home to sleep and feed the other kids.

Sophie was relatively silent, obviously fighting tears each time Piper's face shifted with sleep but never awoken.

"Not now, mama."

"Yes, now, love. I want you to speak to me. Tell me your favourite thing about Piper. What's her favourite colour?"

"Blue," came the whispered response, Sophie leaning forward and resting her head on the bed by Piper's hand.

"Why?"

"I don't know."

"I think you do. Come on, Soph. Why does she like blue?" Lexa pressed, refusing to let the girl shut down.

"Because the ocean is blue and so is the sky. And the other day she said my eyes were the blue between the two, the shade she liked the most."

"What flower does she like?"

"Mama, please-"

"Sophie, please baby. Don't turn off your emotions. I know things are scary right now but you have to remember that even though it is really dark right now there is a lot of light inside of that person you love."

A silence fell over the two for a moment before Sophie spoke, "she does like flowers but likes seashells better. She has seven mason jars lined up on her window stacked full of shells she's collected over the years."

"Okay. Good. When did she start surfing?"

This brought a smile to Sophie's lips.

"She was four and she stood up the first time. She's a natural on a board. It's like she was born to be on it."

"Does she want to continue surfing?"

"Yeah. She wants to go pro this year."

"And what are your plans together?" Lexa questioned, knowing it probably wasn't the best idea to know her 17-year-olds unrealistic plans but hoping it instilled some desire in her kid to fight for the relationship.

"I'm going to take media arts at UCLA and she's going pro. After that, we'll take things as they come."

"How're things with UCLA?"

"The application is due next month," Sophie replied, tugging at the string of her sweater.

"If you go will you stay at home or do you want to live on campus?"

"Piper wants us to work and save for an apartment together. Just a little studio where I can put up my photos and she can put up her awards."

"Do you still want that?"

"Of course. But I don't need anything. I just want her."

That's when Lexa knew that her daughter was too deep in this to let go of her love. Her Piper.

~.~.~

"Thanks again guys," Clarke said to Lincoln and Octavia as all three of them stood at the entrance, the blonde trying to slip on her shoes where she looked around the house unsurely.

"Clarke, please stop worrying. We have watched over your kids before," Octavia said, trying to lighten the mode with her teasing tone.

"I know. I trust you two, no doubt about it. There's just something so terrifying knowing that a child the age of your own tried to kill herself. I just don't want to leave them if they are in a state like that."

"Hey," Lincoln said, shaking his head. "You and Lex are far too invested in your children to be oblivious to their thoughts. If one of them were thinking Piper's way, you would know."

"Yeah. You're probably right," Clarke agreed, running a hand through her hair before she nodded and grabbed her keys from the entry table. "Thanks again."

"Of course. Go. Give Soph and Piper our love," Octavia said, opening the door to let her sister in law out.

Once the mother left, Lincoln and Octavia moved around to do their own thing, mainly keeping the little kids entertained in the living room while the others did their own thing.

Their main job right now was to keep the situation as easy as possible to understand for Willow and Rowen, who were both well aware of what was happening, but slightly lost as to why Piper felt the need to take her own life.

It was over an early dinner that Rowen asked an unexpected question to her sister, making both aunt and uncle freeze mid chew.

"Umm… Rowen," Lincoln began to say awkwardly, eyeing the other people eating. Willow stood up quickly, her chair dropping as she all but sprinted from the room.

"Row- not cool," Jude said, shaking his head at the confused blonde.

"I'm sorry, it's just that you and Aunt Tavia have been saying all day that when people are really sad in their head and heart they sometimes try to leave the world to find peace. Willow is really sad sometimes and I just wanted to know if she wanted to do something like Piper too."

Tears began to well in the 9-year-olds eyes as she began to feel guilt for her curious thoughts getting the better of her and also the lack of response from Willow to the entire situation.

"Shh, it's okay babygirl," Octavia said, quick to rise from her seat as she engulfed the girl in a hug and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Your heart was in the right place when you asked. It's just a sensitive topic and not something you ask in front of people."

"But I don't want her to hurt herself like Piper."

"I know, I know. Willow is still struggling to gain the upper hand over her anxiety, so questions like those put her in a really bad position because maybe she has faced them or maybe she hasn't and doesn't want people thinking she has."

"I'm sorry," Rowen sniffled, allowing her tears to get wiped.

"I know. I'm going to speak to Will real quick and then maybe you can apologize to her after dinner," Octavia suggested, looking to Lincoln who nodded as he continued to hold a bottle to Romeo's mouth. "You've got everything down here?" She asked her husband, eyeing the two chairs next to them, one with Indie who was sitting at the table in her chair, minus the tray, and Wilde who was sitting and observing with his 5-month-old gaze.

"Romeo is almost done here so I'll swap him with Wilde."

"Okay. Finish your food, Row," Octavia pressed a kiss to the girl's forehead once again and then left the room, moving upstairs to Willow and Rowen's room.

"Hey, Willy Wonka," Octavia said kindly, knocking on the doorframe. "Mind if I come in?"

"I'm fine, Aunt Tavia. I'm just not hungry anymore," Willow replied drawing her finger over the wall as she laid on her side. She thought her aunt left but she heard footsteps and then felt the bed dip slightly before her aunt was laid out next to her and stared at the ceiling.

"I know you're not great at the whole talking thing. Your mama was a lot like you when we were kids. But I'm going to ask questions anyways because I want to make sure everything is good in hood with my little dude."

"That's not cool," Willow mumbled, earning a chuckle.

"I'm not trying to be cool. I'm trying to make you giggle."

Silence fell for a minute between the two.

"Okay, so no giggles yet. We'll get there. Anyways, what bothered you about Rowen's comment?"

"I don't know… I guess just the fact that she felt the need to ask."

"Well, she's still little if you think about it. Your uncle and I have been trying to explain Piper's situation in a way that doesn't sound so harsh and she perceived it as something that everyone who isn't happy each and every day struggles with. Rowen is a very light person, she's always smiling because it comes natural to her. You're a very quiet person, with a lot of thoughts and worries that make you very different from her. This isn't a bad thing, but it's strange to her. That's why she thinks that you would harm yourself like Piper, because you're not always smiling and being as chipper as her."

"I can't change my attitude, Aunt Tavia."

"No one is asking you to. I just want you to know that Rowen didn't say anything to offend you. She said something she is feeling. Imagine how you would feel if one of your siblings looked as if they wanted to do something bad to themselves. She's scared, and I'm sure the question doesn't settle well with you but her priority right now is making sure you're safe."

"I get it," Willow relented after a moment, falling onto her back and staring at the ceiling as well. "I love you, Aunt Tavia and I want you to know that I don't think about killing myself. Like sometimes I want to disappear but not in that way, just into myself. That's all."

"I'm glad to hear that you want to stick it out here for a while," Octavia said, poking the side of her niece. "You know you could always talk to me if you ever do feel too overwhelmed by something."

"I know. I mean, it wouldn't be easy for me to talk about it because I'm not great at the whole talking thing, but I would try to reach out to someone if I felt the need to… you know."

"I got it," Octavia agreed, taking a hand of Willow and kissing it before giving it a squeeze.

"Aunt Tavia, can you rub my leg out please?"

"Is it still bothering you?" The aunt asked, sitting up to look down at her niece.

"Just a bit. Raven said I need to rest it during my season break."

"Alright, place it here," Octavia said, patting her lap where the right leg of Willow was promptly placed. She began to rub behind the girl's knee and around the kneecap, alleviating the pain from the girl's sore running legs.

"You're the best aunt," Willow sighed as she fell against the pillows and allowed herself to relax.

"I'd say you're the best niece but I have three others who will probably hate me for that. But you're the best kid, Will."

Willow giggled at the comment and earned a laugh from her aunt in the process.

"There are my girl's giggles."

~.~.~

Sophie began to doze off late into the evening; Piper's hand held in her own as her thumb lazily petted each knuckle. It was right before she actually completely conked out that a groan escaped her girlfriend.

"I think she's waking up," Lexa said from her place on the side couch, rubbing her hand through her hair as she stood up. "I'm going to get a nurse to come in."

"Hey Pipes, it's okay," Sophie began to say, standing up and running her fingers over the creasing forehead. "Shh. It's alright. Just take a minute."

Piper opened her eyes and began to look around, trying to process her surroundings. Suddenly her throat contracted and she felt like she was choking for air, startling Sophie.

"It's okay. Don't touch it. Someone is going to take it out soon."

Piper began to cry from her fear, both hands clenching Sophie's as tears fell down her face and her erratic breath tried to force its way out from around the tube.

"I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere," Sophie promised, breathing slowly in hopes that Piper would copy her.

Eventually, Lexa returned with a nurse and doctor, both having Sophie step back, which in turn made Piper cry really loud.

Lexa instantly pulled Sophie into a hug, noticing the way her daughter tried to approach the bed again despite being asked not to.

"She needs me," Sophie argued, trying to push against the chest of her mama.

"I know. She can have you back once the tube comes out. Give them a minute," The brunette pressed kisses to Sophie's head and rocked her lightly as the doctor and nurse spoke over the distress constricted cries.

After two minutes the cries turned less pained and Lexa released her daughter who instantly held Piper close to her chest, both teens crying heavily.

"I-i-I'm s-s-orr-y," Piper choked out in a raspy tone, crying into the chest of Sophie.

"You're not alone, Pipes. I'm not leaving you."

Lexa chose to take this time to call her wife, checking the time to see that the woman was probably still awake and feeding Romeo one last time before putting him down.

The house phone hummed for a moment before it was finally answered.

"Hey Lex."

"Hi baby. Are you still up?" Lexa inquired.

"Yup. Your son has been taking his time tonight."

Lexa released a slight chuckle, "I like how they're my kids when they don't do things your way."

"You should also know that Willow will be in our bed tonight."

"Aww man, she beat me to the best spot beside you," Lexa sighed.

"She sure did. Her knee was hurting so I've been icing it while she sleeps."

"I love how all of _your_ other kids are in bed already minus _my_ kid who's determined to eat until he can't see his own toes."

"I'm glad we can agree on who parents which kid at which time."

"Speaking of parenting," Lexa began, returning to the original reason she called. "Piper just woke up so my guess is that they'll be moving her to the psych ward for the 72 hour monitoring period."

"Have you warned Sophie about that yet?" Clarke inquired.

"Yeah, she's aware. Right now she's just comforting Piper so she's keeping a brave face but once Piper gets taken away I don't think she'll be able to keep it together."

"Well, this bed is big enough for four. Just bring her home, we'll get her to eat, shower, and then straight to bed," Clarke said, cooing lightly as she was probably putting Romeo down now.

"Would you mind getting her a plate ready? We should be back in fourty minutes."

"Of course. Linc and O made salmon and mac and cheese for the kids. I'll put some in the oven for the both of you."

"Thanks, love."

"Of course. Go and be with the girls. I'm going to change Willow's ice two more times."

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you too."

Lexa hung up and returned to the room where Sophie was now seated at the head of the bed with Piper's head placed on her lap. Tentative fingers combed through blonde locks and Lexa smiled at the gentle interaction between the two.

"Alright Piper, we need to talk about your options," The doctor in the room spoke up. Lexa sighed, knowing the next few minutes would be painful for the couple on the bed.

* * *

 **GUYS IT HASN'T STOPPED SNOWING! Like holy shit, I live in the part of Canada that never snows but this year it's like 'fuck it, let's be like our brother up north and snow all over these peoples driveway.'**

 **I'm not prepared for this. Hell, I don't even own a shovel! I literally bought a plastic one from the dollar store and I should warn you now to never do this because those pieces of plastic snap in two real quick.**

 **Rant over.**

 **In other news: I have a second Clexa fanfic in the works (it's pretty fluffy tbh), and I've got a Pitch Perfect fanfic for all of my Bechloe babes. The Clexa one won't be up for another month or two, but the Bechloe one may be going up sometime this week or next. Honestly, I'm probably biting off more than I can chew but oh well, my thoughts aren't slowing down so I just have to catch up.**

 **Anways,**

 **Like, Comment, Follow :)**

 **Valentina**


End file.
